General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)

[RVR II]

So the judge won't accept a hung jury or mistrial
The judge would rather force the jurors to come back with a guilty or not guilty verdict despite other jurors questioning some issues with the case?
That seems a bit extreme to me that you all are being punished because the judge refuses to grant a mistrial on your case.. 

He says he will accept a mistrial, but only after he feels we have given the case enough time to deliberate. 

I can't even fathom what this judge would consider a fair amount of time the way he sounds.. 
I usually go into a movie/TV show binge to get my mind off of what ever's stressing me..

Will your airline charge you a change ticket fee or will they waive that because of jury duty?

[Edward J Grug III]

Can you screen 12 Angry Men?

[Variety of Cells]

I bought trip insurance so I’ll get reimbursed for the flight.  I didn’t anticipate needing it for this reason, but thankfully I have it. Was my first time purchasing trip insurance too.

[Cupcake]

A lot of general anxiety coping skills probably would be effective; having a drink of water, taking a few deep breaths to relax your mind a bit. Try to avoid playing the should game, because that tends to add more stress to whatever you're experiencing. The big thing I can suggest is try to find alternative angles to examine the facts of the case from, because maybe it'll change someone's mind. Another one is to just kind of accept that you're in this position now, and it's going to be over when it's over. That one usually helps me the most when I'm in confined stressful environments anymore. Hell of a difficult thing to do to acknowledge it without assigning and emotion to it, because it's kind of intuitively ingrained into us, but it helps. It's kind of along the lines of what EMDR tries to accomplish in helping processing emotional responses to memory and trauma. You don't worry about the things that should have happened, you just have to focus on processing what's in front of you at the moment.

I might be speaking complete nonsense, had a bit of a long day and it was crazy hot. I hope anything I typed out can help, though.

[Variety of Cells]

A lot of general anxiety coping skills probably would be effective; having a drink of water, taking a few deep breaths to relax your mind a bit. Try to avoid playing the should game, because that tends to add more stress to whatever you're experiencing. The big thing I can suggest is try to find alternative angles to examine the facts of the case from, because maybe it'll change someone's mind. Another one is to just kind of accept that you're in this position now, and it's going to be over when it's over. That one usually helps me the most when I'm in confined stressful environments anymore. Hell of a difficult thing to do to acknowledge it without assigning and emotion to it, because it's kind of intuitively ingrained into us, but it helps. It's kind of along the lines of what EMDR tries to accomplish in helping processing emotional responses to memory and trauma. You don't worry about the things that should have happened, you just have to focus on processing what's in front of you at the moment.

I might be speaking complete nonsense, had a bit of a long day and it was crazy hot. I hope anything I typed out can help, though.

Thank you. I appreciate the advice.

[Jesse412]

Try to avoid playing the should game, because that tends to add more stress to whatever you're experiencing.

In inpatient they told us not to should all over our selves. 

[Variety of Cells]

Today was better.  I was able to accept the situation I was in and the fact that I couldn't do anything about it.  Generally I'm pretty good about accepting unchangeable things, but my mind was really fighting against it yesterday.  Perhaps because I really didn't want to miss my flight on Friday. 

While frustrating and circular, the arguments weren't as heated today, which also helped.  I think our brains are all fried so we took longer breaks. 

[Cupcake]

Try to avoid playing the should game, because that tends to add more stress to whatever you're experiencing.

In inpatient they told us not to should all over our selves.

Nice. I learned it when I was still doing debate in college. It was part of a modified critique using Buddhist philosophy that used Star Wars references, saying that any belief that we should do something leaves us eternally frustrated. Was a fun argument to watch opponents deal with, because they usually just said "That's really stupid," which, to be fair, is true, but that doesn't matter in a policy debate setting.

[Variety of Cells]

Finally released from jury duty.  I drafted a pretty detailed note explaining how we were unable to come to a decision, which he accepted.  So it ended up being a hung jury, after five days of deliberation. 

I go into more detail about the case in the bellow post.  It's a topic that might get a little heated (even though I don't think there's anyone here that would disagree with my stance anymore).  So I'll relegate discussion to that thread. 

http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php?topic=31792.msg995303#msg995303

[Cupcake]

I start clinical work on Wednesday, and I'm kind of freaking out about it. This is going to be my first taste of nursing work, and it will be my first taste of work in about 4 years. The professor keeps talking about how a lot of people aren't cut out for nursing, and because I'm an anxious piece of garbage, I keep thinking that what if I'm not? It's been a pretty heavy focus of mine for about a year and a half now, and I'm worried I'll make a ton of mistakes and discover that I'm not cut out to be a CNA, much less a nurse. I'm also scared of dealing with the patients. I don't want to hurt them, and there will be a lot of unpleasant things to deal with in the day. And what if I screw up and don't follow proper hygiene procedures leading to an infection? What if I report things I shouldn't or worse, don't report things I should because I just don't know? I know that I'll be with people who are certified, and they'll know everything, but it just... I'm fucking freaking out.

[Variety of Cells]

I start clinical work on Wednesday, and I'm kind of freaking out about it. This is going to be my first taste of nursing work, and it will be my first taste of work in about 4 years. The professor keeps talking about how a lot of people aren't cut out for nursing, and because I'm an anxious piece of garbage, I keep thinking that what if I'm not? It's been a pretty heavy focus of mine for about a year and a half now, and I'm worried I'll make a ton of mistakes and discover that I'm not cut out to be a CNA, much less a nurse. I'm also scared of dealing with the patients. I don't want to hurt them, and there will be a lot of unpleasant things to deal with in the day. And what if I screw up and don't follow proper hygiene procedures leading to an infection? What if I report things I shouldn't or worse, don't report things I should because I just don't know? I know that I'll be with people who are certified, and they'll know everything, but it just... I'm fucking freaking out.

It’s a lot of stress, but I think you’ll be ok. The worst thing to do would be to pretend you know something you don’t. Otherwise you should be good if you just admit when you need help.

[Cupcake]

I've been trying to do some exploration as far as who I am, because for a while, specifically femme hasn't felt quite right. Presentation-wise, I tend to fall into the masculine most of the time any more. My hair is shorter, I shaved one side of my head, my average outfit on a daily basis has been jeans+tshirt+flannel. It's really cool that after all these years of trying to assert my femininity to the world, I'm finally comfortable enough with myself to start exploring parts of me that I used to outright reject. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a nonbinary woman, or at least that's the closest I can come to putting any label on it. It kinda helps that I've been seeing a nonbinary guy, because talking to him has REALLY been eye opening for me. It also feels really good from a relationship standpoint. The more I get into polyamory, the more I have no idea how I ever lived without it. Hana is fantastic, and there's no one on the planet I'd rather be with for the rest of my life, but there's just some things that I want/need in a partner that she can't provide. It's not a failing on her part; there are things that I can't do for her, either. It makes sense to seek others who can fill those gaps. It's not easy, and there's a lot of conditioning saying that poly is wrong that I have to get past, but I feel rather fulfilled in my romantic relationships at the moment.

So, nightmares. I don't know if they're from stress because of school, hoping I get the job I interviewed, or everything that's being dredged up in my mind from the whole Kavanaugh stuff, but I've had trouble sleeping the past week or so. When I finally do get to sleep, I have nightmares, usually about what happened to me in Washington. I always seem to be back there, and even worse, I always am utterly devoted to my abuser. A complete wreck if he's not around, needing him to make things make sense for me or tell me what to think. If it's not a nightmare of him, then it's usually something else where I'm stripped of all my free will, or eventually die a gruesome death. It's to the point where I really don't want to go to sleep. What's the point, right? I'll be up in a cold sweat in another hour or two. I watching Kavanaugh testify last week, I was strongly reminded of my abuser. Like, to the point where I was trying to shrink back into my seat to make myself seem smaller or less threatening, and I was tense the entire time. I've heard that tone of voice. I still hear that tone of voice, it's in those nightmares, him telling me that if I'd just done what he'd told me, this wouldn't have happened, claiming that I'm a manipulative bitch and that I was using him. Hearing that he's been confirmed is making me feel sick. It also just reaffirms my decision to never tell my family exactly what Paul did to me, or what my cousin did years ago; they'll never believe me.


If you read this, grats, you're basically reading my exhausted ramblings. Probably made no sense, no replies are necessary, since I really don't know what could be said. Just was kinda getting it out there and all that jazz.

[Variety of Cells]

That was all pretty straight forward, not rambly at all. I’m glad bring poly is working for you. I hope it continues to.

[MartyS (Gromit)]

 About telling or not telling people about abuse, if you are sure they won't believe you and will make you feel worse, then it's fine not to tell them.  As long as there are people you can talk to about the events and work through them.  If you are not working through it with people you trust then getting it out there might be better in the long run, at least the idea that "they don't know what he did" won't be nagging at you forever.  Even if they don't believe it at least you would be free of that.

 I think half the country is depressed and sick about the direction the country is going, so you've got plenty of company there.

 As for the nightmares, stress will bring them on.  Is anyone in your life currently trying to use the "you made me do it" method of manipulation?  Your subconscious might be picking up on it, but it could just be from all the stuff in the news the last week, there has been plenty of "blame the victim" type quotes coming out of our so called leaders.

[Cupcake]

I don't know of anyone using that on me lately. In general, my relationships, romantic and otherwise, have been pretty healthy lately. It must just be the stress from this past week, I guess. I've been trying to keep occupied, but I'm not used to keeping this amount of plates spinning at once. Doesn't help that when I tried to talk to my  future mother in law about it, she said "So a normal time, then." I don't understand how people properly function, I barely have the skills to cope with shit right now.