General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)

[Cupcake]

So, I went on a date with another person today, which is cool, and everyone involved knows about each other, fiancée, partner, me, all good.

I'm just worried that me dating a 23 year old is a little on the low side for me. It's only a 5 year difference, but idk how my friends and family might take that. We have another date Sunday, she's coming over and we're gonna hang out and cook and watch Netflix and shit. I don't have an issue with it, she's cute as hell, I like her, we did some making out in my car that was awesome, I just worry I look like a creep.

[Cupcake]

Fiancee and I are going through a rough patch... We're taking a week away from each other to try and make sure we're on solid footing relationship. She's been worried lately that she's just in it for the fact that it's what's comfortable,rather than being in the relationship because she cares about me romantically. I think that a big part of it is that her depression has ramped up, and she needs a med adjustment. I wish there was something I could do to make this right, but it really is just a hurry up and wait situation. I asked multiple times if it has to do with me dating again, and she says it's not. I just have some worries on that back from when I was dating Bas; the way he dumped me was by first suggesting we try an open relationship as a way to spare my feelings. I trust her completely, but there is that depressed part of me that says "You're going to lose her, and there's nothing you can do." I don't want to lose my wife; I'm scared and really want someone to comfort me but I've been working and my girlfriend has been busy. At least I'm seeing her tonight. , hopefully that helps me feel like I'm back in decent footing until the rug is yanked out under me.

[Cupcake]

I feel like this is becoming the Lesbunny bitching thread, but here goes

So... This week has been a doozy...Had an issue with one of the girls I'm seeing because I've been having an overactive libido. That got resolved but now I'm acutely aware of my hyper sex drive and it's frustrating, because it's starting to feel like no one finds me attractive or whatever. Ended my 2 year long engagement, because I wanted kids and she didnt, but had resolved to still date her...  until she decided that she didn't want to be with me any more because she didn't want to be poly anymore. Rationally, I understand, and I get it... But I'm still fucking pissed because it reminds me a lot of my first fiance who strung me along for two weeks, and I just know that she's going to end up dating this girl who had told her I was an abusive prick... Then yesterday I didn't get to nap before work and so I was fucking awake for 24 hours... Thank fuck it's my last school+work day...

Idk, I try to see positives and shit, but this week is killing me... Then next week is finals for both me and the one girl I'm currently seeing, so I won't see her again for a while, and I'm really starting to fall for her. I'm shattered, friendos.

[Russoguru]

So, I went on a date with another person today, which is cool, and everyone involved knows about each other, fiancée, partner, me, all good.

I'm just worried that me dating a 23 year old is a little on the low side for me. It's only a 5 year difference, but idk how my friends and family might take that. We have another date Sunday, she's coming over and we're gonna hang out and cook and watch Netflix and shit. I don't have an issue with it, she's cute as hell, I like her, we did some making out in my car that was awesome, I just worry I look like a creep.

Lesbunny you two are consenting adults so there's absolutely no reason for anybody to judge you. I understand how you might think an age difference might worry you, but she's over 18 so IMO you have no reason to worry about anyone thinking you're a creep or creepy. (Sorry I took so long to reply by the way)

Over the past four years I have been on a journey of self-improvement. It has been a long journey, and honestly? I can say with roughly 100% certainty I have improved a lot over the past four years. I have to thank my therapist, because she is the one that taught me that I needed to have better restraint on the words that come out of my damn mouth.

The irony is that when there was the break up with some... friends I had way back in mid-2015, even though one of them tried to intimidate me with a very nasty email I felt that something about me needed changing. So in a way, I owe a debt of gratitude to the jackasses that ended our relationship on a very sour note. If not for them, I might not have ever felt the need to change myself in a way where someone can look at me now and say "Yeah, that guy's alright."

It has been a long and painful journey, but totally worth it.

[Cupcake]

Can I just say it fucking sucks knowing that I can't get pregnant? Because it does. dysphoria is hitting me like a mother fucker today.

[Russoguru]

Can I just say it fucking sucks knowing that I can't get pregnant? Because it does. dysphoria is hitting me like a mother fucker today.

I’m so sorry Lesbunny.  I can’t imagine how that feels .

[Cupcake]

So, my mother is in the red on a lot of bills. I pay rent to help her out, because she's helped me for a lot of my adult life. I make around 850/check, which isn't a huge amount, but it's not terrible, and I pay the equivalent of what an apartment in the city would cost me. Since the resolution of her ultimatum regarding weed and her realizing that I was serious about leaving and that if I left I'd be done paying her because I don't have money and essentially she was kicking me out, she's become downright aggressive over how much I need to pay her. As far as she's concerned I need to be giving her about 400 every check, which would essentially prevent me from maintaining any kind of savings, which is important right now because I'm fuckin' done living here. When she found out that kicking me out meant no more cash flow, and realized that I was right in telling her that it was the wrong hill for her to die on(after she tried to convince me that it was a worse financial decision for me than her because I definitely would be losing a house over something as stupid as someone smoking weed outside...), I get to leave on my own terms instead of being rushed out. I found an apartment that looks really good, only requires a 500 dollar deposit, 2 beds, 1 bath, 710 a month, probably around 1k after utilities and bills. She begged me to stay in a house that's triggering for me to be in until at least December. I said I'll compromise and instead of doing one lump sum once a month, I'd do 250 on pay day. This means that my earnings of around 2000/month would leave me with 200 dollars AFTER paying off my mother, the debt collector, and household expenses. That's basically enough for groceries for the month. I'll have to pick up an extra shift a week to be able to afford to do this and save any money for emergencies. She wanted 400 today, and I got paid 777, so that can't happen because I've got a vet bill for Ein, I've got to pick up my car from the shop, and I've got to pay off the fucking 150 for the debt collector or else they'll demand the remaining sum of 3000 which I don't fucking have. I fucking hate her for guilting me like this. People keep saying that I should move out, and I really, really fucking wanna.

[Darth Geek]

I agree, you should really move out.

[Russoguru]

I have to say, when I talk out loud I make a lot of personal gaffes, and when that happens I have to laugh at myself. I've been practicing learning how to do this for years and it's taken a long time to master but the art of laughing at oneself is a skill that doesn't usually happen overnight. I just pretend like I'm in my own little blooper reel or something then I realize I just fucked up the hell out of what I just said. I HAVE to do this because it's one of the better defense and coping mechanisms I've developed to counteract my depression and bipolar symptoms.

[MartyS (Gromit)]

 Lately I can't seem to get out of this non-productive mode of thought.  Keep thinking how I would trade my freak ability to fix stuff for a normal happy life.  Pretty sure if I were born in this century I would have been diagnosed with some form of autism but that wasn't a thing in the 60s, I was just the weird kid that didn't quite fit in.

 I still haven't been able to find a replacement for the little social activity I had when going to the horse ranch, and now I have a lousy head cold and that just makes being alone so much worse.  Was coughing so much yesterday my entire rib cage hurts now.

 Oh well, just need to solder on, plow through, yadda yadda....

[Cupcake]

I'm having a slight anxiety issue over something that's a non issue. For several months, I've been in a masculine place, which itself isn't a problem, but lately I've been feeling dysphoric about it and wanting to appear feminine. I recently shaved my head, but I have a wig, so that's not an issue(and women can have shaved heads, too, anyway). The real issue is my job. On the one hand, I KNOW that my job is accepting of trans/lgbt people. There are signs on practically every classroom that say it's a safe space for LGBTQ+ people. On the other hand, I'm worried because it's a high school in Kansas. I don't know how staff will react, and  definitely don't know how kids will react. I don't evenknow if it's acceptable to express my identity in a way involving my dress. To that end, I want to send an email to the teachers I work most closely with and ask them what they think about my mini identity crisis... I just have no idea how to say it. I feel like I'm panicking over nothing, but it's been a huge source of stress all fucking day. Anyone have any ideas of how I could broach the subject in as easy a way as possible?

[Cupcake]

CW: transphobia

So, I've been presenting feminine at work for about a week now. I'm pretty sure there have been some laughs and snickers among the students, but that's easy enough to block out. It's a high school with 2000+ kids in it, they could be laughing about any number of things. Today though, I got talked to by administration.

First and foremost, admin has my back. They say there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with anything I've done. There were complaints, though. Apparently some students and their parents raised a guff about me using the restroom matching my presentation. Supposedly, some students saw me go in, not turn around, and... Go. I can't stress enough that that part flat out didn't happen, but if it had, so what. They complained to the office, they told their parent, and their parent complained.

I feel violated, humiliated and stupid. I have been off and on presenting feminine for 10 years and this has NEVER ONCE happened to me. I feel violated because these students thought it was ok to keep tabs on someone just trying to pee. I feel humiliated because this confirms every bit of dysphoria that I've been feeling; I'm not feminine enough or good enough. I feel stupid because even though I saw this coming, and had mentally prepared for it, I'd thought I'd taken enough precautions. I only went during classes when there would be as little traffic as possible in there.

Like I said, administration has my back. They have been VERY adamant that I have done absolutely nothing wrong. They suggested that I start using the faculty bathrooms that I didn't even fucking know existed until today. My coworkers within the program I work in have been very supportive of me. But I still feel awful. My brain is telling me I should just quit. Or worse. I don't know what to do. The thought of going back tomorrow even mortifies me. I just don't know what to do.

[Johnny Unusual]

I'm very glad your employers are backing you up and supporting you.  I hope that's been helpful and that you've been enjoying the work.