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Author Topic: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)  (Read 38244 times)

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Offline RVR II

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #495 on: December 11, 2017, 07:11:05 AM »
I got to talk to her a few times back when she worked at Dish about my late wife's satellite bill issues she was having at that time and she was a trip to talk to!
Did anyone else ever get to request an order of her homemade bacon-chocolate chip cookies?? They were so awesome!
*sigh* I hate that she will never get to hang out with us on the forum ever again :'(


Offline Russoguru

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #496 on: December 11, 2017, 10:30:06 AM »
You're telling me. It's going to take a while for me to get over this. Even my Grandmother's death didn't hit me as hard as Andrea's, if that tells you anything. You also don't expect somebody like Andrea to be gone from all our lives just like that. In some ways she was emotionally distant, but that doesn't mean we didn't share a lot of laughs. She got me into Archer, the Dandy Warhols, and she truly valued me both as a friend and a human being. You truly couldn't ask for a better friend.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #497 on: December 11, 2017, 04:26:16 PM »
Shit.  Wow.  She was one of my favourite folks on these forums.  Its going to take a while to actually process the reality that she's gone.  I was excited that she recently came back to the forums and am gutted that she's no longer with us.


Offline The Lurker

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #498 on: December 19, 2017, 03:06:59 PM »
Looking through the schedule for Magfest (gaming and music convention) and I'm finding quite a few psychology-based seminars.


Online Lesbunny

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #499 on: December 28, 2017, 04:28:44 PM »
I'm in an open relationship. Hana has multiple partners and it doesn't bother me at all. Why the hell do I feel guilty for liking this one girl I've been friends with for a while.


Online Lesbunny

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #500 on: January 11, 2018, 09:10:07 PM »
Whirlwind of emotions tonight. Girl I've been interested in seemingly broke up with her girlfriend. I felt guilty because my first reaction was "How long do I have to wait before saying 'How you doin'?" Then I go through the rollercoaster of how I'm completely socially inept, and how I've asked out maybe 2-3 people over my entire life. One of them, I got drunk as fuck on gin and just said fuck it, you're a cool dude, I want to lick your peepee. One of them was a guy I asked out via email, because I'm a fucking coward, but I don't know if I can really count that one, because fucking god it was so lame. Then the last one, the relationship I'm currently in, started while I was fucking lying about who I was because the first time I chatted with this girl I acted like a complete bitch. So yeah, I'm not exactly great at that thing. Then there's the part where I'm just all like well, maybe she already KNOWS, because, if you've been around me for any stretch of time, you know that I am not exactly a subtle person when it comes to my feelings about someone. If she KNOWS I'm interested in her, then would me messaging her to see if she's ok about the break up be seen as me being all like... predatory, but not in the sense of like oh baby she fries my bacon, but more along the lines of sharks and blood in the water all that. Opportunistic, I guess. But if that's the case, how can I chat her up more, especially since 90% of our interactions are comment chains? If I do something other than that, will I look suspicious? Then I finally work up the courage to type out a message to her and be like, eyy bbz u ok?, pop up the facebook to do it, BOOM, they're not actually broken up, just had a drama llama flounce through.

So basically I went from hopeful>scumbag>what's the point>wait what if she's guessed?!>I'm gonna do it>no, I'm really gonna do it>well fuck, guess I CAN'T do it now

All in the space of like 30 minutes. How you guys doing?


Offline Russoguru

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #501 on: January 11, 2018, 09:43:21 PM »
You're talking some very complicated emotional issues here LB. As much as I want to help in some way I'm not good at relationships so I would not feel comfortable giving advice.


Online Lesbunny

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #502 on: March 17, 2018, 12:32:19 AM »
I'm not a good person. I've done some terrible things in my life. I physically assaulted some people. I have literally held myself hostage telling g people that I will kill myself if they do something. I have taken friends for granted, and I have been selfish. I have sexually assaulted someone.

Maybe it isn't in the sense of invasive sex or whatever, but in my mind, it's no different. Their was a girl, and I took advantage of her. This is back in my high school days. I don't say this to excuse what I did. I don't even say this as a justification or explanation of what I did. I did this, regardless of how confused I was to my self identity. I took advantage of a girl who had no way of responding.

This isn't something that I've only recently felt guilty about. This has been with me sense I've become, for lack of a better term, woke. Since I have understood who I am, and have become comfortable with myself, I have felt absolutely disgusted with myself. Whether or not the term is true, I consider myself a predator.

I will preface this story with the fact that I am highly drunk. This has been coming for a bit, but it has been coming since another forum member(name excluded partly because of privacy concerns, and partly because my drunk ass can't remember exactly who it was) discussed their experience. I'm not proud, and I don't want to make it seem like I am so. I hate myself for what I have done.

Years ago, in high school, I was confused. I use this as a word, because there's not really another way to describe it. I was in a play. I loved the theater. Being me was awful. I hated it. The theater, as what was available in my school, allowed me to be someone else. After our final performance, as was the custom, we all went out for food. We carpooled to the sort of outlet mall, which had an IHOP or a waffle house, or something. I don't remember. What I do remember is that there were 4 people in the car. Me, a younger guy, another guy my age, and a girl my age. The girl was driving.

I can't even say what went through my head. I can't justify what I did. To my memory, which I don't know if I can trust, I never went beneath her underwear. I can't say if this is right or not. I have both vivid memories and vague memories of the night. I remember that I was directly behind the driver's seat.

We were having a great night. The play had gone well. We were all in a good mood. I took it too far, as did the younger guy in the passenger seat. I reached around the front, and started feeling up this girl. The guy in the passenger seat does the same.

You don't have to tell me how fucking disgusting and horrible this is. I hate myself for this, more for this than most things, and I have plenty to hate myself for. At first it was over her shirt. I groped and grabbed. But I didn't stop. I reached under her shirt.

I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know why I thought I had a right to violate her in this way. I've justified it until now with "Well, I didn't go UNDER her bra, so it's not that bad..." But what I've been through in the past couple years with Paul has given my more of an appreciation for what a shitty, disgusting person I am. So what? It doesn't make what I did any better.

Doubtless, this will harm several of your opinions of me. For one of you, at least, no doubt it will confirm your opinions of me as a less than good person, and justify your leaving me. I'm sorry. I have reached out to the girl to apologize, though it probably won't do a thing, and will just help me, but I wanted to record my guilt somewhere. I deserve any hate or anything I get from this. I sexually assaulted someone. The degree is irrelevant. What I did is disgusting, and I accept the consequences of it.


Offline Variety of Cells

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #503 on: March 17, 2018, 07:37:06 AM »
You were referring to me. Similar sentiment of guilt when I told my story. I don’t have time to respond fully now, but like mine, I hope your guilt subsides, as you don’t deserve to feel guilty forever. For me it comes in waves, but I do think my last confession helped me work a few things out in my head.

I very much doubt anyone here will think less of you.


Online Lesbunny

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #504 on: April 02, 2018, 12:16:09 PM »
Warning: the following contains content of a sexual nature

I can't trust men. Like, no offense, but I just can't trust guys. Every time I try and think I find a good guy, he ends up being a fucking asshole. I'm into BDSM stuff, and I enjoy bringing that into other aspects of my life. My fiancee and I have a poly relationship, and since we both are submissives, we tend to look to others to satisfy that craving. One of the things that can be amazingly fun is bringing sexuality to gaming. There's plenty of ways to do this, of course things like Second Life and VRChat exist, but I don't tend to enjoy those kinds of chatroom avatar games. I like taking it into games like Overwatch or Heroes of the Storm. This is called "healslutting" and has a bit of a culture that's developed around it. It's actually fun and can add an extra layer to the games you're playing.

I'm not one who finds it easy to go to events and things to meet people for fun, let alone sexual activity, so I find a lot of comfort and security in online communities. There's a subreddit for healslut stuff, and a Discord server to meet people who fall into any area of the BDSM spectrum involved in gaming. I joined this server last night, and immediately got bombed with a bunch of messages. Horny guys online meet a kinky girl, that's expected, and I don't mind it too much. I'm not unattracted to men, but I find it hard to trust them, so engaging in intimate contact with them is hard. I'd been chatting to a guy that seems pretty nice. Yeah, he's a flatterer, and I maybe should have seen that as a red flag, but I don't think it's out of the ordinary to flatter a girl they're interested in. Things get a little bit heavy, it's ok at first, I'm hesitant, but I'm willing to let my guard down a bit for a little bit of roleplay. Slowly, he starts pushing for more, pictures, voice chats, things I'm not comfortable doing with someone I've spent about 2 hours total talking to. I try to signal that I'm not comfortable, and he keeps pressuring me, so I pull the standard green/yellow/red safewords out, starting with yellow, indicating my discomfort and asking him to slow down. He keeps pushing harder and harder, and I give him a red, because it's time to stop this. He keeps going, which is in direct violation of the BDSM motto of "safe, sane, consencual" AND the rules of the server, which states safewords are to be respected in server and in DMs.

Like, why do I have such rotten luck? Hana finds people no problem, makes friends easily, and makes relationships with good guys in the same spaces I try. I don't hate men. I really don't. It's just so fucking hard when some asshole takes "Blurred Lines" as his life rulebook. Why can't I flirt and enjoy myself without shit like this coming down and destroying my self esteem and confidence? The worst part? I FEEL BAD FOR REPORTING HIM. WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I FEEL GUILTY?! I hate this bullshit. I hate crying over stupid shit.


Offline Variety of Cells

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #505 on: April 02, 2018, 06:35:53 PM »
Warning: the following contains content of a sexual nature

That's shitty.  I feel for your struggle.  I wonder what is worse: trying to find a girl online or trying to find a guy.  I'm leaning toward your situation being worse.  In my experience, when trying to find a woman to have some fun with I just end up weeding through countless bots pretending to be women, or men who have no interest in talking to me (and I no interest in talking to them).  It's tedious, but not terribly difficult to weed out the bots.  What's more difficult is actually finding someone worth talking to, because I haven't been able to in quite a while.

Whereas to find a guy you have to sort through thousands of awful people, and it's not as easy to judge right away if a guy is awful.  Must be shitting putting all that time into a conversation only to find out the guy sucks.  I have a feeling the two are connected.  Since it's so difficult for women to find a decent guy there just aren't any women around.

Oh, and because we make the internet a hostile, dangerous and degrading place for women.  That too.


Online Lesbunny

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Re: General Psychology Thread (for non-emergency and long-term issues)
« Reply #506 on: April 02, 2018, 07:02:20 PM »
Warning: the following contains content of a sexual nature

That's shitty.  I feel for your struggle.  I wonder what is worse: trying to find a girl online or trying to find a guy.  I'm leaning toward your situation being worse.  In my experience, when trying to find a woman to have some fun with I just end up weeding through countless bots pretending to be women, or men who have no interest in talking to me (and I no interest in talking to them).  It's tedious, but not terribly difficult to weed out the bots.  What's more difficult is actually finding someone worth talking to, because I haven't been able to in quite a while.

Whereas to find a guy you have to sort through thousands of awful people, and it's not as easy to judge right away if a guy is awful.  Must be shitting putting all that time into a conversation only to find out the guy sucks.  I have a feeling the two are connected.  Since it's so difficult for women to find a decent guy there just aren't any women around.

Oh, and because we make the internet a hostile, dangerous and degrading place for women.  That too.

I think both are bad in different ways. I probably have an easier time finding women, though lesbian women tend to be in relationships. I just have had so many bad experiences with guys that I'm more or less done even trying with guys.

And yeah, women on the internet have it rough. Sucks, yo