Author Topic: Now Available - The Myths of Shoplifting  (Read 1446 times)

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Offline Pak-Man

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Now Available - The Myths of Shoplifting
« on: May 19, 2015, 01:08:54 PM »

Shoplifting! Before they invented bittorrent, the five fingered discount was all the rage with the teens (second only to the storied AARP discount.) But there were lots of “myths” about shoplifting. That it was a “victimless crime.” That you “won’t go to jail.” That if you “shoplift a Gorgon’s head, Pegasus will leap out of it.”

The Myths of Shoplifting is here to clear up all of these misconceptions. It does this using the controversial “all dork cast” method that was so popular in the seventies. Watch as they attempt to steal makeup, records, and a pocket calculator! Even more impressive is that they are attempting all of these thefts in a Sunglass Hut, which to the best of our knowledge does not sell any of those things. We believe it sells sunglasses.

Of course, this short was not very effective, since all the cool kids were already cutting class to shoplift stuff.

Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for The Myths of Shoplifting!

Offline Trekker4747

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Re: Now Available - The Myths of Shoplifting
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2015, 02:38:59 PM »
Oh, of course the BLACK guy steals the Folk Rock/Contemporary cassette! I see your agenda, MTI!

But, to be fair, no a store isn't going to bother prosecuting you over a tape that costs a few dollars. I don't even think the police or local prosecutors would over a few dollars, not worth the trouble.  But Poor Man's Marjoe Gortner stole a calculator, which at the time were believed to work on dark magic and cost a couple hundred dollars so, yeah, he's going to get sent-up.

And as much as it sticks on your "permanent record" -that thing all children fear- I doubt it'll really haunt you that much, stealing a scarf that costs a few dollars a decade earlier than the current interview I don't think will have much of an impact.  But in such a situation it's best to open and honest about things and tell the interviewer about it.  That's more likely to get you denied a job than the crime itself.

Offline NRRork

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Re: Now Available - The Myths of Shoplifting
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2015, 10:40:44 PM »
So it never occurred to any of these kids to, like, RUN!!! I'm pretty sure a 17-year-old kid can outrun a doughy security guard.

I suppose because the message of the short wouldn't stick as well if they showed these kids able to evade capture with little to medium difficulty.
I used to have an image here, but Photobucket got cheap about remote linking. I guess I'll have to think of something witty instead. Which I will. Later. It caught me by surprise, in all honesty. It's hard to be clever on command, I mean, YOU try it. Be funny: NOW! See, tough. So, gimme a bit, 'kay?