Author Topic: What did we learn?  (Read 5484 times)

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Offline Trekker4747

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What did we learn?
« on: May 02, 2015, 03:03:19 AM »
I've honestly no clue what I learned, here. This thing was just bizarre as all hell. I've no idea what this movie was going for, who it was targeted for and what its release was.  Was it in theaters? Was it direct to TV/video? Was it just thrown together by the filmmakers because they had incriminating information on the actors and he wanted very odd spank material?  What was this?!

I learned that apparently upper-New York suburban families are pretty chill with crypto-zoological creatures being in their home.

I learned that a young girl can, by herself, board a bus bound for New York and arrive AFTER her parents who left some period of time later and went by car.

Said parents are pretty cool about their daughter running around one of the most dangerous and populated cities in the US.  They actually don't mind not seeing her for a while and would just wait around the train station for her to, maybe, show up.


« Last Edit: May 02, 2015, 12:41:21 PM by Trekker4747 »


Offline distantdrain

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2015, 08:39:04 AM »
Abraxas is no longer the worst film (at least partly) lensed in Ontario's cottage country.


Offline TriffRax

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2015, 01:00:09 PM »
I learned that Curse of Bigfoot is apparently one of the better films in the Bigfoot genre.

I also learned that fat, psychopathic children can survive indefinitely when stuck upside-down in a snowbank beside a road.

I also also learned that roadside snowbanks in the Adirondacks never melt.

I also also also learned that upstate New York is full of Canadian flags.

I also also also also learned that the Himalayas look a lot like any Eastern Seaboard pine forest during a snowy winter.

I also also also also also learned that there's apparently a requirement to crowbar in a reference to Gamergate somewhere in every single VOD.


Offline Tony Farms AKA Puma Man

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2015, 01:05:21 PM »
I don't know what I learned because I can't figure out WHAT THE HELL I JUST WATCHED


Offline Trekker4747

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2015, 01:41:10 PM »
I learned that Meat Loaf is the best actor in this thing. Which should really make us all question some things about our lives.

I learned that some parents are totally indifferent to the fate of their child and will just try and unload him on some crazy stranger and then skip town unworried about the consequences.

I learned that Bill doesn't know the difference between a Ford Tempo and a Mercury Topaz. (Though essentially the same car, the Topaz has slightly different design features than the Tempo.)

I learned that Canada, er, New York uses Mercury Topazes for civic vehicles.  Which, sort of, makes sense. The Tempos were sold as fleet vehicles, but usually for I believe rental services and such. I doubt taxis but, I guess anything is possible in New York, er. Canada. Wherever.

I learned that Mullet Dad was a poor-man's offspring of Paul Rudd and Jonathon Silverman.



Offline Miku Fan

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2015, 06:03:40 PM »
I learned:
I like Meatloaf WAY more than Billy Ray (still only 15 minutes into the BRC film).
Sophomoric jokes about anuses still make me laugh out loud.
Fictional child abuse can be funny.
I'll probably start asking forum members to "Come hang me..."
ミクさんは世界で一番お姫さま!


Offline MerryWanna

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2015, 07:35:47 PM »
I learned that despite my enduring "long haired guy sans facial hair" fetish, there's actually such an individual who is as unappealing as Tommy Wiseau. Messes with my head...ugh!

I learned that apparently in Oxbridge-or-whereverthefuck Canada, sixth grade girls and their mothers dress like twin sisters.

That despite the fact these goofy stupid-looking critters (well, the cat ears are cute, but they look far, far better on CATS) get sick in warm places, they can do a Santa Claus number down a chimney over an open flame and then easily untie two kidnap victims in a room full of choking smoke.

That Wesley needs to spend some time with the Ice Cream Bunny.
"Ever feel like you're dragging a big bag of meat around?" -  Kevin, The Curse of Bigfoot


Offline Trekker4747

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2015, 12:28:11 PM »
I learned that best way to open your movie is to have discount hoarse Tom Waits sing an explicable song while your comic-relief dwarf character makes "humorous" reactions to things around him and humorous interactions with objects in a child-like manner.



Online CJones

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2015, 06:48:06 PM »
I learned no matter where you go, there you are. And there's whoever you're looking for. And there's whoever's looking for you.


Offline Trekker4747

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2015, 02:55:22 AM »
Well, come-on, New York City is a small place.


Offline kunedog

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2015, 03:12:15 AM »
I also also also also also learned that there's apparently a requirement to crowbar in a reference to Gamergate somewhere in every single VOD.

I thought it had been a little while since the last one (maybe I missed a few).  In any case, it wouldn't feel so awkward and forced if the all the jabs weren't so hopelessly misinformed and blatantly one-sided.


Offline TriffRax

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2015, 11:20:23 PM »
I don't care if they're accurate or not. The problem is that they aren't funny.


Offline kunedog

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2015, 11:40:00 PM »
Fair to say.  I couldn't believe it when, seconds after the second Gamergate reference, they let a "Shut up, Wesley!" line go completely untouched.


Offline The Lurker

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2015, 06:10:03 AM »
They've made jokes about divisive groups (and fans) before.


Offline Raccoon Cohabitator

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2015, 09:14:51 AM »
Fair to say.  I couldn't believe it when, seconds after the second Gamergate reference, they let a "Shut up, Wesley!" line go completely untouched.

That surprised me too