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Author Topic: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown  (Read 23821 times)

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Offline Johnny Unusual

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List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« on: October 22, 2013, 07:36:29 PM »


If you have received this, then this means that you are a contributor to the newest edition of the Tobin's Spirit Guide.  After many years out of print and with out of date information, a new generation has gathered to compile essential information for what we hope will be considered the definitive and most authoritative book to categorize and give details on the world's most important ghosts, spirits and spectral anomalies.

First I want to thank all of the participants.  Without you, this could not have been possible.  I think many of us like the feel of a dusty old tome to get into the spirit of paranormal research, we wanted to create something that is practical and easy for anyone to use.  We want this to be a book for first timers (after all, sometimes people don't research the supernatural unless it is thrust upon them) and veterans alike.

Second, I am here to announce that starting today that we will be previewing some of the entries in the book.  Sadly, I'm afraid that some of the information was misplaced, so rather than the ghost entries, today we will look at consultants who you recommended, including the 11 most helpful.  We were going to do just 10 but there were too who were equally helpful near the end of our list.

Now, on the entries, we will see the ghosts and we will also measure their malevolence and spookiness.  Now it seems unfair to peg ghosts as malevolent, but it is important as many ghosts are dangerous and need to be labeled as such.  As for spookiness, it should be noted that a spooky ghost is not necessarily a malevolent, but it measures the stress it put on the mind.  A 1 on the spooky scale means the ghost has a friendly and even comforting aura while a 10 means that even to look on it may very well make one go mad.  Even a good ghost can theoretically bury the needle on the spooky scale.

So, let's begin!

And now, some reading music

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/EUHdrfi5WDc" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/EUHdrfi5WDc</a>


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2013, 07:45:38 PM »
A brief list of consultants

Donald Duck of Ajax Ghost Extermination
- On the subject of identical ghosts


Adrianne
- On the subject of evil cymbal playing monkeys


Louis Tully
- On the subject of first-hand accounts on possession and first-hand accounts on accounts

Goofy of Ajax Ghost Extermination
- On the subject of ya-ha-ha-hooey and its effects on the supernatural

Father Merrin
- On the subject of the compulsive nature of Christianity on demons

Madame Flora
On the subject of communicating with ghosts via contralto

Frank Bannister
On the subject of business arrangements with ghosts


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2013, 08:04:01 PM »
And now, our top consultants

Sam and Dean Winchester
- On the subject of nomadic ghost hunting


Dean Winchester was born on January 24, 1979 to John and Mary Winchester in Lawrence, Kansas. He is the couple's first child, four years older than his younger brother Sam. He is named after his maternal grandmother, Deanna Campbell. When he was only four years old on November 2, 1983, his mother Mary was killed in Sam's nursery by the demon Azazel. Infant Sam is saved by the ensuing fire when his father takes him out of his crib and gives him to Dean, who then carries him outside while their father unsuccessfully tries to rescue their mother. After that night Dean has felt responsible for Sam, and was always given the job to take care of him while they were growing up. Dean's father John raised him and Sam as hunters of the supernatural. During Dean's childhood John would be away "hunting" a week or two at a time. John told Dean that his little brother's life was in his hands, and the term "Watch out for Sammy" became his life.

Sam was born on May 2, 1983 to John and Mary Winchester in Lawrence, Kansas. He is one of two focal characters of the series. He is the couple's second child, four years younger than his older brother Dean. He is named after his maternal grandfather, Samuel Campbell.

When Sam was only six months old, his mother Mary was killed by the demon Azazel, whom his mother walked in on while he was feeding Sam demon blood. Sam is saved from the ensuing fire by his father, who then gives him to a four-year-old Dean to carry outside. Since that moment, Dean has felt responsible for Sam and became Sam's protector, partially due to pressure from their father to keep his brother safe.

Sam and Dean spent their childhood moving from town to town every few weeks while their father hunted supernatural beings and their mother's unknown killer. Until the age of 8, Sam believed that his mother had died in a car accident and his father was a traveling salesman, until Dean revealed to him the existence of the paranormal. Sam apparently started hunting alongside his brother and father around the age of twelve, however, he began wanting a normal life without monsters; years later, a teacher encouraged him to carve out a life away from the "family business" after reading Sam's story about a werewolf hunt. At nineteen, after a heated argument with John, Sam leaves for Stanford University, thus leaving his family and their hunting crusade behind him.

At the start of the series, 22-year-old Sam is seen as a senior at Stanford, applying for law school. Sam also has a girlfriend, Jessica, with whom he lives and secretly plans to marry. One night, Dean comes to Sam's apartment seeking his help after their father John goes missing. Although reluctant at first, Sam eventually accompanies his brother. After defeating a woman in white and discovering a trail to lead them to their father, Sam returns to Stanford where he witnesses Jessica's death at the hands of a demon - exactly the same way his mother was killed. This incites him to go with Dean to find their father and to kill the demon in order to avenge the deaths of his mother and his lover.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2013, 08:06:11 PM by Johnny Unusual »


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2013, 08:12:21 PM »
Mickey Mouse of Ajax Ghost Extermination
– On the subject of early 20th century ghost extermination


Mickey generally appears alongside his girlfriend Minnie Mouse, his pet dog Pluto, his friends Donald Duck, and Goofy, and his nemesis Pete, among others (see Mickey Mouse universe). Originally characterized as a mischievous antihero, Mickey's increasing popularity led to his being rebranded as an everyman, usually seen as a flawed, but adventurous hero.

He was also a ghost exterminator for a while.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2013, 08:30:49 PM »
Winston Zeddemore

– On the subject of shit that will make you turn white and what to do when one’s divinity is questioned

Winston Zeddemore's first on-screen appearance was in the movie Ghostbusters, when he applied for a position with the team not long after they were established. Questioned extensively during his application by Janine Melnitz as to whether he believed in a large number of supernatural occurrences and beings (such as UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster and the theory of Atlantis among others), Zeddemore replied, "If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say."

Though Zeddemore had no previous background in paranormal studies and was not initially a firm believer in the existence of the paranormal, he readily accepts the existence of ghosts and the supernatural as he encounters them as a Ghostbuster. However, despite this, he continues to act as an 'everyman' and voice of reason for the team, and when the jailed Ghostbusters seriously propose asking a U.S. federal judge to release them because they must fight an invading god, Zeddemore is the one who reminds the others that they will not be believed.



Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2013, 08:46:44 PM »
Sherlock Holmes

– On the subject of ghost dogs and ghost dog hoaxes

Sherlock Holmes is a fictional detective created by Scottish author and physician Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. A London-based "consulting detective" whose abilities border on the fantastic, Holmes is famous for his astute logical reasoning, his ability to adopt almost any disguise, and his use of forensic science skills to solve difficult cases.

Holmes shares the majority of his professional years with his close friend and chronicler, Dr. Watson, who lives with Holmes for some time before his marriage in 1887 and again after his wife's death. Their residence is maintained by the landlady, Mrs. Hudson.

Watson has two roles in Holmes's life. First, he gives practical assistance in the conduct of his cases; he is the detective's right-hand man, acting variously as look-out, decoy, accomplice and messenger. Second, he is Holmes's chronicler (his "Boswell" as Holmes refers to him). Most of the Holmes stories are frame narratives, written from Watson's point of view as summaries of the detective's most interesting cases. Holmes is often described as criticizing Watson's writings as sensational and populist, suggesting that they neglect to accurately and objectively report the pure, calculating "science" of his craft.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2013, 08:53:32 PM »
Madame Arcati

– On the subject of ghost spouses

Charles Condomine, a successful novelist, wishes to learn about the occult for a novel he is writing, and he arranges for an eccentric medium, Madame Arcati, to hold a séance at his house. At the séance, she inadvertently summons Charles's first wife, Elvira, who has been dead for seven years. Madame Arcati leaves after the séance, unaware that she has summoned Elvira. Only Charles can see or hear Elvira, and his second wife, Ruth, does not believe that Elvira exists until a floating vase is handed to her out of thin air. The ghostly Elvira makes continued, and increasingly desperate, efforts to disrupt Charles's current marriage. She finally sabotages his car in the hope of killing him so that he will join her in the spirit world, but it is Ruth rather than Charles who drives off and is killed.

Ruth's ghost immediately comes back for revenge on Elvira, and though Charles cannot at first see Ruth, he can see that Elvira is being chased and tormented, and his house is in uproar. He calls Madame Arcati back to exorcise both of the spirits, but instead of banishing them, she materialises Ruth. With both his dead wives now fully visible, and neither of them in the best of tempers, Charles, together with Madame Arcati, goes through séance after séance and spell after spell to try to exorcise them, and at last Madame Arcati succeeds. Charles is left seemingly in peace, but Madame Arcati, hinting that the ghosts may still be around unseen, warns him that he should go far away as soon as possible. Charles leaves at once, and the unseen ghosts throw things and destroy the room as soon as he has gone. (In the David Lean film version, the ghosts thwart Charles's attempt to escape, and his car is again sabotaged; he crashes and joins them as a ghost, with Elvira at one arm and Ruth at the other.)


Offline ScottotD

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2013, 08:54:44 PM »
I was suddenly really confused and thought I'd misunderstood and we were doing Ghost Hunters  :)
Scottotd on Instagram

"A thing I like that there was no chance would ever continue until recently is now continuing but it doesn't meet my exact personal specifications so fuck this"

- how I read any complaint about MST3k (or Star Wars or Ghostbusters)


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2013, 09:02:01 PM »
Tangina Barrons

– On the subject of house cleaning

After a series of frightening paranormal episodes at the Freeling resident that leads to Carol Anne Freeling seemingly devoured by the house, parapsychologist Dr. Lesh and Ryan collect data and  soon return with a spiritual medium, Tangina Barrons, who informs Diane that Carol Anne is alive and in the house. She also explains that, in addition to the peaceful lost souls inhabiting the house, there is a single malevolent spirit she calls the "Beast," that is using Carol Anne to keep the spirits away from the light.

The assembled group discovers that while the entrance to the other dimension is through the children's bedroom closet, the exit is through the living room ceiling. They send Diane to rescue Carol Anne, tying her to a rope that they've managed to thread through both portals. As Tangina coaxes the agonized spirits away from Carol Anne, Diane retrieves her daughter and they emerge through the living room ceiling, falling to the floor. Tangina announces that the spirits are gone.

Whoops.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2013, 09:03:28 PM »
I was suddenly really confused and thought I'd misunderstood and we were doing Ghost Hunters  :)

Don't worry, the proper ghost list starts tomorrow.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2013, 09:09:58 PM »
John Constantine

– On the subject of demons, elementals, magic and fags (non-epithet variety)

Constantine is a working-class magician, occult detective, and con man stationed in London. He is known for his endless cynicism, deadpan snarking, ruthless cunning, and constant chain smoking. A roguish counterculture antihero, Constantine is also a passionate humanist driven by a heartfelt desire to do some good in his life. Originally a supporting character who played a pivotal role in the "American Gothic" Swamp Thing storyline, Constantine received his own comic in 1988. Pop artist Sting served as visual inspiration for the character.

Although being a powerful sorcerer, Constantine rarely uses magic, instead choosing to use his wits to trick his opponents. Constantine is also referred to as "The Constant One" because of his whole family tree being somewhat connected to the occult. Many of his ancestors are sorcerers from different eras of history, and somewhat has taken part in many known historical events.

While Constantine has worn many clothes over the years he was originally portrayed as often wearing a blue pin-stripe suit, tan trench coat and occasionally gloves. As the series progressed his trademark attire became a grungier (or perhaps the same just older) trench coat, white shirt and black tie, but has recently returned more to his earlier fashion. Constantine smokes Silk Cut cigarettes, consuming thirty or so a day.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2013, 09:16:34 PM »
Kolchak

Oops, let me try again...

Carl Kolchak

Closer, but not quite...

Carl Kolchak
There!
– On the subject of reporting in the face of skepticism

Kolchak is a talented investigative reporter with an affinity for bizarre and supernatural occurrences, obtaining information driving around Chicago in his yellow Ford Mustang convertible and always snatching exclusives armed with his camera and portable cassette recorder.

Using only limited information, Kolchak has relentlessly cracked several cases relying on gut instinct and often prevailing through sheer dumb luck. But more often than not, Kolchak's prospects are hampered by the utter destruction of any or all evidence to prove his claims, thus advancing the sheer implausibility of his stories where his peers, particularly his editor, are concerned. On other occasions his investigations have led to demotion or relocation of varying authority figures, though reasons for these actions are never truthfully disclosed.


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2013, 09:17:12 PM »
Tangina Barrons

– On the subject of house cleaning
Whoops.
Uh, yeah, she's REALLY bad at her job.



Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #13 on: October 22, 2013, 09:22:06 PM »
Dr. Raymond Stantz

- On the subject of the advantages of paranormal research the private sector (profit) and the public sector (results not expected).  Also, on the subject of this pole.  Have you tried it?


Ray is an expert on paranormal history and metallurgy. He is characterized by his almost childlike enthusiasm towards his work, and his forthright acceptance of paranormal activity. As a result Peter once during the movie referred to him as "the heart of the Ghostbusters". Ray has extensive knowledge of the Bible (to the point of even quoting a specific book and chapter -- "I remember Revelation 7:12" -- about the end of the world, though the passage he quotes is actually Revelation 6:12), but is an agnostic, commenting when asked if he believes in God, "Never met Him". As revealed in Ghostbusters: The Video Game, Ray attended a seminary at some stage in his life. He is known for his wordy and overly technical explanations of scientific and paranormal phenomena. Ray, along with Egon, is responsible for pioneering the Ghostbusters' theories and designing and building the equipment used for catching and containing ghosts.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap #75: Top 50 Ghosts Countdown
« Reply #14 on: October 22, 2013, 09:25:42 PM »
Dr. Egon Spengler

– On the subject of ghost detection, entrapment, containment and twinkies (big)

Egon Spengler is a tall, laconic, bespectacled, awkward member of the team responsible for the main theoretical framework for their paranormal/quantum studies. Being addicted to science, he is the creator of the Ghostbusters' equipment along with Raymond Stantz, thus making him the brains of the Ghostbusters. Although book smart, Spengler does not have much social ability, as demonstrated by his stiff interactions with the Ghostbusters' secretary Janine Melnitz, and his reliance on Peter Venkman as spokesperson for the group.

Spengler is the most serious and rigid member of the team. Of his hobbies, Spengler states that he collects "spores, molds, and fungus", and claims that, as a child, the only toy he ever had was "part of a Slinky", which he straightened out. As implied in the first movie, Spengler apparently is a sugar junkie, due to his affection for sweets and candy. According to the 2009 video game, Spengler sleeps an average of 14 minutes per day, leaving him "a lot of time to work."