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Author Topic: Acute Psychological Distress: Help  (Read 63624 times)

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Offline Russoguru

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #555 on: September 18, 2019, 08:36:50 PM »
I've been okay... relatively speaking lately. I mean I still have episodes and panic attacks, but today something happened that made me almost fall completely apart and... it's rather embarrassing so I'd rather not go into details. Basically, somebody made an appointment to discuss a project with me and... they didn't call. I sat there for two hours next to my cell phone waiting for them to call and they never did. I didn't get any messages or even an email telling me what happened.

What happened later shocked me. The event caused my mind to unravel pretty badly. I started getting so fucking depressed I actually started crying... out LOUD. I was very embarrassed for getting so emotional over something like this. I got so low I even felt like I almost had to call the fucking hotline.

Anyway I'm putting the pieces back together but it took me a long time and I'm still depressed. I'm really hoping a good nights sleep is what I really need to keep it together. I was just... surprised because I was just triggered so acutely.


Offline F-Zero

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #556 on: September 19, 2019, 02:23:40 AM »
I'm overcome with paroxisms of rage about my brother.  Every time I see him or talk on the phone with him or read his emails the two words that scream in my brain are SELFISH and LAZY.  He literally has no discernible personality outside of the traits of SELFISHNESS and LAZINESS.  When I try to fall asleep my mind goes to him and I starting barking insults and my adrenalin goes through the roof and I bounce out of bed and punch dance the air but it doesn't help so I get lost in the computer so here I am.  Pant, pant, pant.

Russo sorry for your troubles.  I find when I'm surprised by my own emotional state I think back and it's usually something I ate or a wound or surgery or drugs or chemical fragrances or something like that.  I just don't feel that much any more in and of itself.  I had corn chips for the last three days so I get super pissed at my brother, haha.  Anyhow, it sounds like some kind of rejection you suffered.  When confronted with that situation I automatically go to cognitive therapy practice.  I analyze the situation and my perceptions for personalization, generalization, all-or-nothing, mind-reading, etc.  I find it helpful despite my vast omniscience, /sarcasm.

Also if you want even more unsolicited advice pass along the pain once in a while. While you're angry I mean.  Just lash out at somebody in the ultimate moment.  Call the dude and cut loose on his voicemail why not?


Offline Russoguru

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #557 on: September 19, 2019, 11:10:55 AM »
Thank you for listening F-Zeo, but I don't think I can do that. I've had problems with rage in my past and I just have to channel my pain into other emotional outlets, in this case, it's sadness. When that happens, my depression maxes out. I just have to keep telling myself "It's okay, there's no reason to be angry, it's nobody's fault, it's nobody's fault". Letting myself get angry would let the old me come out and I just refuse to let that happen.


Offline F-Zero

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #558 on: September 21, 2019, 09:19:29 PM »
Yeah man, no problem.  Any time.  I'm a regular Freud. 


Offline Lesbunny

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #559 on: September 24, 2019, 06:00:47 AM »
I told someone last night I've had a thing for her for a while, this morning I find out she's in the hospital for self harm. Unrelated, 100%, but my brain keeps trying to convince me that I somehow was a part of it, so I'm fighting anxiety.


Offline Lesbunny

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #560 on: December 13, 2019, 02:51:59 AM »
TW: discussion of  and description of self harm, suicide

I finally got paid after 2 months... 200 dollars less than expected. I don't know what I'm going to do. Because my funds were stretched so hard, I've not been able to pay debt collectors, who are breathing down my neck, who I've promised to pay at least a minimum payment to on Monday. Problem is... I was over drawn 70 dollars because fuck me, right? And so between the debt collectors... I'm going to have a grand total of 6 dollars unless they decide to be supremely nice which generally isn't in their nature. I haven't been able to afford my medicines in over a month, and I'm either low or out of all of them. My dysphoria over presenting masculine all the time is driving me up a wall, my mother treats me like I'm a lazy POS because I didn't get a proper paycheck since October, even though it's not my fault that my new job pays a month behind.

I want to hurt myself. I want to cut my arm open. I want to see the blood dripping down my hand. I want to just take every pill I can find in this house. I want to find the key to my father's gun safe. I want to die. I don't know how else I'm supposed to get by. My application for food stamps was denied because I couldn't get the work done to make it go through. My life is literally work and home. I want to die, to bleed, something so that I feel something. I'm so tired of this being broke. I go to food pantries when I can, but I work 5 days a week. Weekends are the only time I can go, and even then, it takes gas I can't afford to get there. I'm trying to cut down on everything unnecessary. I'm trying to fix my bullshit. I'm trying so hard not to fall or fail or anything and I'm just so tired. I don't know what to do. I don't know how I'm going to be able to push past this. I want to cut so bad. My head is in a daze, I feel like I'm floating through a fog. I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't. I just want everything to end. I want this bullshit to go away. I want everything to just stop. And even better, I've got to be up in an hour to go to work and do it all again. I want to drive off the freeway on my way into the school.


Offline Russoguru

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #561 on: December 13, 2019, 08:41:16 AM »
As someone who has engaged in self-harm many, many times myself... don't do it Lesbunny. Please don't. I know shit is horrible and bad but you need to hang on, if for nothing else than tomorrow might somehow be better. If Anais Butterfly were here, I know what she'd say, she would never let you hurt yourself either. Please Lesbunny, don't do that to yourself. You are worth so much more than that.


Offline F-Zero

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #562 on: December 13, 2019, 02:26:26 PM »