Author Topic: Acute Psychological Distress: Help  (Read 64768 times)

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Offline LucasM

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Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« on: September 03, 2013, 02:50:41 AM »
This thread is for people who need support for something going on internally.

There are times where we are hurting and don't have anyone available to help us right at that moment.  There are times that the spectrum of frustration to anger (that the RRRAAARRRGGGHHH!!! thread covers), doesn't fit with what is going on with us.

This thread is designed to fill that need.

If you are hurting, or painfully confused, or concerned about yourself, this is the place to post.

If you are able to identify with, or empathize with, something someone has said here, and can offer them support or help when they need it, this is the place to do that.

There is only one hard rule here, that hopefully the moderators will enforce, and that is: under no circumstances should any offered assistance be ridiculed or debated (unless it is patently dangerous).  Keep in mind: what responses or actions to particular crises work for some will likely work for others, even if it hasn't happened in your experience.

We form a group of people with shared entertainment tastes, who likely, underneath it all, share a lot of experiences.  We are human, after all, underneath whatever masks we may put up for others to see.  This is a place where those of us who need help can ask for it safely, and those of us who can offer it, can give it with kindness.

Stay safe.


EDIT: To those reading, there will likely always be intense emotions and thoughts expressed here.  If you do not feel up to reading such things, or do not feel you would be safe reading others' expressions of intense thoughts, please don't read others' posts.  If you are here to share your own concerns, feel free to skip any and all posts before yours and post directly to the current end of the thread.  Please do not let fear of 'letting others down' by not reading their posts prevent you from getting the help you need for yourself.  OK?


A helpful set of ideas for this posted was posted on p21 of the thread (with 15 posts/page), so I felt I'd add the general parts of it in here:
In an effort to keep this thread as helpful and a safe a space as possible, please do not lash out at people who respond to your posts....

If you want to ignore [someone's] advice, that's up to you, but please keep it civil.

A forum my wife is a member of has a rule - No JADEing.

Members should never:
Justify
Argue
Defend
Explain

Perhaps that's a bit extreme for this thread, but maybe we should all at least consider the content of our posts against that?


= = = = = = = = = = EMERGENCY RESOURCES = = = = = = = = = =

7cupsoftea.com  Its a site for people who just need someone to listen, but can't stand phone call hotlines.

http://www.fortrefuge.com/  It is a forum specifically for abuse victims/survivors of all types.

Okay, so here's a few organizations that, if they can't help directly might very well be able to make useful suggestions if places that can.

TWO-SPIRIT SOCIETY OF DENVER
Phone: 303-777-9198
Email: urbanpeak@urbanpeak.org
A dedicated group of GBLT Native Americans and their partners in the Denver area who are united by their struggle to restore Two Spirited people to their rightful place in the sacred circle.

URBAN PEAK COLORADO SPRINGS
Phone: 719-630-3223
Email: coloradosprings@urbanpeak.org
Services for homeless and runaway youth

RAINBOW ALLEY
Phone: 303-831-0442
Rainbow Alley is a drop-in center designed to support GLBT youth and their allies ages 12-21. Our facility is a warm and welcoming environment, complete with supportive adults and youth. The Alley provides health services, counseling and referral, youth-lead events and activities, and life resources in a safe and supportive space.

And here is a graphic I found online that may be of help.  It is intact as it was shared (i.e. I did not add the "I'm a therapist..." section to it).
« Last Edit: February 16, 2017, 12:13:56 PM by LucasM »
To dispel some of the misconceptions about head injuries you have developed from watching movies and TV, I wrote this: ...Some Information on Head Injury Effects


Offline anais.butterfly

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2013, 10:27:21 AM »
I would feel bad if I didn't post because Lucas basically started this because of what I said.


So, to answer things from that thread:
1) I didn't not expect anyone other than Lucas to reply
2) I have called a suicide help line. No one answered the phone. I suppose they are greatly understaffed


Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 03, 2013, 12:53:43 PM by anais.butterfly »
Anais is the Coolest Butterfly I know  ;D


Offline modelmeg

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2013, 11:30:40 AM »
Anais, these thoughts you're having, the thoughts that you're broken or unlikable or that you can't get better, this is your depression speaking. They feel real. Everything that is negative is being multiplied by 100 right now for you. They don't reflect real life. You have to remember that. People do care. They really do. You have had good times before. Times when you've laughed and smiled. You have. You may not remember them or think they were real but they were. They were real and you can have them again. Are you on medication? If you are, it might not be the right one or the right amount. If not, medication can be beneficial. Especially medication with therapy. If you feel like your therapist isn't listening to you or the therapy isn't working, tell them. Let them know that whatever strategy they're using isn't helping. You could even try a different therapist. You need to be proactive. Nothing will change if you don't let it. I know it's so hard right now. You probably feel drained and sad and frustrated and completely hopeless. I get it. I remember it. But, you must take the first step in changing how you're dealing with this. If none of what you're doing right now is helping you then you need to tell the people around you that. Then, you need to find what will help you. Because it's worth it. Because you can smile and laugh again. Please trust me when I say this. I thought I'd never get out of that hole but I've been getting closer and closer to the surface. You can too. I truly hope that this helped even a little. *hugs*


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2013, 12:09:16 PM »
I've never been that far down the dark road, but I've had a lot of close friends who have. I've learned the following:

1) If I tell you to "cheer up" or "Look on the bright side" you will (rightfully) want to shove a live weasel down my throat.
2) Depression is a big fat liar that tells you that you're never coming back from how you feel, and that you've always felt that way.
3) Depression could come back at any time, but always goes away.

And a few things I can speak of from personal experience:

1) I may be a faceless internet denizen, and I don't know you well, but sadness is my mortal enemy and I truly hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you can get through this wave. I'm rooting for you and I know others are, too.
2) A suicide hotline not answering the phone is all kinds of messed up. Maybe try calling back?
3) I'm not exactly sure where you stand on religion, and I'm not here to preach or open up any cans of any worms with this statement, but since you mentioned God and Heaven: God, as The Bible portrays Him, doesn't give up on us (Which is impressive, since we seem designed, at times, to disapoint Him).


Offline Tripe

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2013, 12:11:30 PM »
2) A suicide hotline not answering the phone is all kinds of messed up. Maybe try calling back?
Or try a different one.


Offline LucasM

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2013, 12:18:39 PM »
EDIT: This was started before there were any other responses to your post.  Already those other posts confirmed something I said below: that others here do care and will help if, and how, they can.


I will write more later tonight, but have to head out to the chiropractor soon, so this won't be complete here.

I would feel bad if I didn't post because Lucas basically started this because of what I said.

 :(  I didn't want you to feel obligated to post here... I meant to create this thread as an opportunity for you and others (and, likely, myself at various points) to have a place to post when in crisis.


So, to answer things from that thread:
1) I didn't not expect anyone other than Lucas to reply

I  am sorry if my response in that thread felt 'thin'.  Particularly with me saying I couldn't respond much in a PM if you wanted to write me there.  With the pain meds crisis I'd written about a week or two ago in the RRAARRGGHH!! thread still active (until this morning), I spent every bit of available energy for thinking on figuring out what I could do with it.  [I'm due at the chiropractor's soon to help reduce my pain for another few days, and have a couple phone calls to make, but the major issue is resolved very satisfactorily, and I'll write about it in the 'WWOOO!' thread later.  (You may have seen lengthy posts from me on DRM removal yesterday... even though I wrote a lot there, until the last couple posts in that thread I didn't really have to 'think' (at which point my responses became quite short), because purely technical stuff like that takes very different brainpower for me and until the last couple posts I wasn't thinking anything particularly new or trying to understand completely new information.  But I would not respond to someone in crisis with rote, technical information, so the best I could do in response to your post was to explain my limitations clearly.)]

But, to answer your statement that you didn't expect anyone but me to reply, hopefully the fact that there were others here who responded to what you wrote, and who also responded with genuine caring for your safety and with bared souls, showed you that there are more people here who care for you and your safety than you thought.  I know others were likely concerned for you, but possibly didn't know what to say, or were afraid to say something in case it was the 'wrong' thing to say to you at that point, or felt too close to the feelings themselves and froze up, or maybe didn't understand what you meant in what you posted.

There are many genuinely good people here, not all of whom can post at any given moment.  That doesn't mean that they, too, don't care for your safety.


2) I have called a suicide help line. No one answered the phone. I suppose they are greatly understaffed

I am very sorry that happened to you.  I am appalled that that happened.  I have been in crisis to the point of seriously considering ending my life, closer to my third head injury (when I started to imagine snapping my cat's neck so it wouldn't be left to starve after I was gone, I knew I needed serious help, as she had been my tether to the world at that point).

With no-one at the suicide help line answering, I can imagine that it may have felt like the world was pushing you toward suicidal action instead of being there to help you.

You do deserve to be heard.  You do deserve help when you need it.  Last night, in my mental exhaustion, the best I could do to help was the 'semi-technical' act of creating this thread for a space that might have felt safer for you to talk in, since you didn't write details in the RRAARRGGHH thread.  And hopefully it will give a focused place for others who might be better able to help at this point a place where they may feel more comfortable opening up to share and offer support.


As for getting help, oh how I have tried. I have two therapists and a pysch. I have a support group for abuse victims, and, if I wanted to, I could always go to AA. I hate that place though. I think they offer empty answers.

Actually, I feel like I get passed around. My "friends" tell me to talk to my therapist and my therapists say talk to your friends or AA, and AA says read the big book or go to an effing meeting. So, maybe you can all understand why I feel passed around.

Possibly you felt like that with my response in the RRAARRGGHH thread, too: I wasn't 'there' either, because of my current stuff, and I 'passed you on to others' when I was the only person you expected to respond to you. :(  I am sorry about that.  I did feel it important to respond, and wanted to, and did as much as my limitations would allow.  But over the previous week, in fear for what might happen to me, I'd gone off the deep end and had used all my mental energy writing a detailed history of my physical and mental condition to my internist in hopes he would take over writing my pain meds, so I wouldn't be at the mercy of some place and people I didn't know or trust to take into account my level of exhaustion - that effort has left me seizing rather badly.

Fear does that: it pushes us to the edge, and sometimes over it.  I'm glad your fear didn't push you over into suicide last night.

I will write more this evening, but I have to head out the door to the chiropractor.

Take care of yourself.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2013, 12:21:23 PM by LucasM »
To dispel some of the misconceptions about head injuries you have developed from watching movies and TV, I wrote this: ...Some Information on Head Injury Effects


Offline anais.butterfly

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2013, 12:52:00 PM »
Lucas, please don't feel the way you feel. I didn't think your responses were thin or passing me around.


I can't really explain what I was thinking when I wrote it, but I don't feel it was interpreted as I intended.

also, I meant to spoiler my stuff, so I am going back to do that.

I did believe in god at one point. Now I think I might be an atheist (which is weird because I don't like atheists)

And I believe that I will get everything I want, I really do. I just don't know how to hold on until then. If I had a finite set of days, I could do it, but asking me to keep holding on for something completely unknown to me. I don't know when it will happen, and every day the whole gets deeper.

And I am on meds. And I will talk to my therapists about how much I feel they are not helping. It's weird, I will give up but continue to go through the motions. I don't know what that says about me.

Also, I have been working out a TON since Jan (my facebook friends can attest) and I have not only not lost weight, but I have gained it.

So that's another thing. Go to hell, life!
Anais is the Coolest Butterfly I know  ;D


Offline Raven

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2013, 01:37:39 PM »
Now I think I might be an atheist

AA won't get you very far if this is truly the case.  The whole "surrendering to a higher power" thing is ok in theory but won't work if you honestly don't believe in one.  While what you're experiencing is in NO WAY your fault there are tangible things contributing to your current state of mind that you yourself can alter, instead of waiting for some form of divine intervention.  Abuse support groups are an entirely different thing. 

As far as your statement about being passed around, that can seem horrible.  Your friends probably feel inadequate in their ability to help and want to get you to someone who is better prepared.  Your therapist's advice on "talking to friends" may just be as comparable to "try to get more exercise" (as opposed to "your friends are the answer to fixing your problems").  The main thing is to continue to do something and not to give up.  Help in these situations is never quick and won't hit you like a freight train.  Odds are you won't even notice that things are helping for a while, but just keep trying.  If you do find yourself in another rut, that is OK too.  Peaks and valleys and all that. 



Offline modelmeg

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2013, 02:11:54 PM »
Lucas, please don't feel the way you feel. I didn't think your responses were thin or passing me around.


I can't really explain what I was thinking when I wrote it, but I don't feel it was interpreted as I intended.

also, I meant to spoiler my stuff, so I am going back to do that.

I did believe in god at one point. Now I think I might be an atheist (which is weird because I don't like atheists)

And I believe that I will get everything I want, I really do. I just don't know how to hold on until then. If I had a finite set of days, I could do it, but asking me to keep holding on for something completely unknown to me. I don't know when it will happen, and every day the whole gets deeper.

And I am on meds. And I will talk to my therapists about how much I feel they are not helping. It's weird, I will give up but continue to go through the motions. I don't know what that says about me.

Also, I have been working out a TON since Jan (my facebook friends can attest) and I have not only not lost weight, but I have gained it.

So that's another thing. Go to hell, life!

Just some quick tips about the working out:
1. If you have been working out a ton and not eating sufficiently, your body will go into starvation mode and hold on to any fat it can. If you've really been cutting your calories, you may want to up them a bit.
2. On the opposite end, depression and stress can both cause you to gain weight by eating too much or slowing down the metabolism. If you're stress eating, that might be causing your weight gain.
3. Muscle weighs more than fat so the scale might tell you that you've gained weight when you've actually lost fat and built muscle. Step away from the scale and use your clothes as an indicator of where you are with your weight.
4. Certain medications (especially ones for mental illness) can cause weight gain as a side effect. If this concerns you you can ask your psychiatrist to put you on a medication that doesn't list weight gain as a side effect.
5. If you've only been doing cardio, start lifting weights. You'll boost your metabolism and burn more fat.
6. If you've only been doing weights, start doing more cardio. It'll help you burn more calories and lower your total body fat.
Really, a combination of cardio and weights is best as long as you have no physical limitations.
7. Try interval training. Going as hard as you can for a minute and resting two minutes. Repeat. This is one of the most effective ways to exercise.

I'm really glad to hear that you're going to talk to your therapist. When you feel like this you need to let someone know. Someone that can help you. Therapists want to help people. They want you to benefit from your sessions with them. If you haven't tried it yet, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can be very effective in treating depression. It basically consists of changing your thought patterns. When you suffer from depression, your thoughts become exaggerated, negative and self-defeating. CBT helps you to recognize those patterns and to change them. It takes work (it's easy to learn a bad habit, a lot harder to unlearn it) but I've found it incredibly helpful. The power of positive (and rational!) thought sounds like some New Agey crap but it's actually been proven to be incredibly effective. And don't mistake this for me telling you to "cheer up" or "think happy". Not at all. It's a long process that actually involves changing the entire way you think and perceive the world but it's very rewarding. I've rambled on again but I hope that at least some of this has been helpful to you.


Offline anais.butterfly

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2013, 02:37:20 PM »
Thanks Meg and Raven,

As for the weightloss, I am sure the issue is my lack of eating. Oddly enough, depression has casued me to not want to eat. Of course, then I get super hungry and eat too much. Even writing about it makes me want to stab myself. So fucking annoying.


And my problem with AA has less to do with the higher power thing, and more to do with the fact that alcoholism is the result of my personality disorder. So when I tlak about how my moods swing within an hour, how empty I feel, and how I don't want to drink, I just want to stop feeling lonely and stabby, but the answer they provide is always the same: Go to the big book, go to a meeting. Yea, sorry, but the big book and meetings don't talk to my level of depression.


I don't know. It's pretty impossible to describe how I feel right now. Just...tired. It's hard to keep living life when your brain tells you you don't want that. It's hard to have so many different moods swings in an 8 hour day. It's tiring to go home and try to pump myself up about tomorrow when sitting in today hurts so much.

At least drugs (illegal) make me happy. Make me feel joy and hope, instead of this fleeting bullshit of emotions I have now.


And in case anyone was wondering, I have Borderline Personality Disorder...just like Winona supposedly had in Girl, Interupted
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Offline modelmeg

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2013, 02:56:14 PM »
Well, it seems like the meds you're on now aren't working well enough. Again, you need to talk to your therapist and you need to talk to your psychiatrist. In the meantime, try to do things that can distract you. Watch something funny, pet your cat. Even going for a walk can help. Anything that can get you out of this loop that your mind is in right now.


Offline Thrifty Version II

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2013, 03:05:24 PM »
I constantly hope something comes along and kills me.  Like, every day.  I don't understand why feelings like that shock people so much.


Offline McDonald's

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2013, 04:29:54 PM »
I joined a boxing gym.  American style boxing.  It is a workout I've never experienced before.  I gush sweat.  I suck in breath at maximum lung capacity. 

My muscles are huge.  I look good.  I have defense.  I've developed both physical and mental resilience.  I'm a force to be reckoned with.

I tell you it is very, very hard to hold on to mental problems when you are boxing.

If you can't get a handle on your thoughts and feelings then just give up and go box is what I say.   


Offline Lembach

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #13 on: September 03, 2013, 04:41:55 PM »
I constantly hope something comes along and kills me.  Like, every day.  I don't understand why feelings like that shock people so much.

I recently said something like that to my doctor. She asked if I had plans to hurt myself. I replied "No, but I wish something or someone would come along and do it for me."

She prescribed Zoloft. It works pretty well for me. I don't feel that crushing anxiety and despair. It's a start.


Offline Tripe

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Re: Acute Psychological Distress: Help
« Reply #14 on: September 03, 2013, 04:54:47 PM »
I joined a boxing gym.  American style boxing.  It is a workout I've never experienced before.  I gush sweat.  I suck in breath at maximum lung capacity. 

My muscles are huge.  I look good.  I have defense.  I've developed both physical and mental resilience.  I'm a force to be reckoned with.

I tell you it is very, very hard to hold on to mental problems when you are boxing.

If you can't get a handle on your thoughts and feelings then just give up and go box is what I say.
This isn't a bad suggestion; it doesn't have to be boxing but some sort of physically demanding athletic activity might be worth giving a go. We've come to accept these talking about problems is the way to sort them out and it can be but it might, in some cases exacerbate the negative thoughts.

Focusing on physical activity might help more than finding a different sort of person to speak to some more.