Well the excerpt has fewer spelling errors than most of your posts at least.
But you really don't give us anything to go on. There are a few inconsequential pages (front and back covers, intro, and table of contents), so I can't say much, but. On the one visible page:
-- The first sentence is a fragment.
--- In the second sentence, there should be a comma after the word "dealt" (Will you always accept the cards you are dealt, or will you defy the dealer....) Also, you misspelled "universe".
-- The third sentence is okay, but it feels somewhat off. It feels like it should be one independent clause of a larger sentence, joined to another independent clause by a semicolon, to express a bigger idea. Then maybe split up that next sentence into two sentences. More like: "Two such players meet; will they choose to crush the other's future? Or will they become outcast in a growing revolution of change?"
-- Int he fourth sentence, you misspelled "choose" and again forgot to punctuate your interrogative with a question mark.
-- The last sentence on the one page that is visible has two glaring grammatical error (fates should have an apostrophe in it because it is possessive and the sentence itself should end in a question mark because it is interrogative).
Also, this isn't related to the book, but 'lol' is not a form of punctuation.
Topic: book I published lol (Read 1230 times)
