List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown

[Mrs. Dick Courier]

forgetting Harry Potter?  For shame....

[Darth Geek]

I'm wondering how I forgot Beetlejuice! It's one of my favorite movies! Blackeyes is sad...

And while Gremlins is one of my favorite movies, I don't really consider it "fantasy". Despite the fairytale nature of it.

[Raven]

So far 3 from my list. 

Beauty and the Beast- Best Disney animated movie ever.

Harry Potter 1- Couldn't pick one movie and didn't want to list all 8 so I went with the first one as my only Harry Potter entry.

Lady In the Water- I actually like all of the M. Night movies up until the Happening.  This is also my wife's favorite of his.  Considering that the story for this one started out as a bedtime story M. Night told his kids I thought it fit this category very well. 

*Clash of the Titans- This one makes me sad.  I'd never seen it before and my wife and I were about a half an hour in when I got the phone call informing us that my father had passed away.  Never went back to finish it, and not sure if I ever will.

[Johnny Unusual]

It'll certainly rank high if we ever do a monster movies list (good for Halloween, but there are a lot of Halloween lists I want to do).

[Raven]

Gremlins is a Christmas movie.

[Mrs. Dick Courier]

my favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard

Guess that says a lot about me huh?

[Raven]

my favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard

Guess that says a lot about me huh?

Mine too.  Gremlin's is a close 2nd.

[Johnny Unusual]

When we last left our party, they woke up surrounded by hideous black slimey monsters.  Left with no exit and outnumbered, our heroes and villains have no choice but to fight.  Dogmeat barrels into mob of monsters headfirst with ferocity equal, or perhaps greater, than them.

[Johnny Unusual]

I hate those comic books. They never get the eyes right.

Number 40: Hellboy
(32 points on 3 of 14 lists. Top Vote #9 by Tripe Hound Redux)

   
 Plot:
In the final days of World War II, the Nazis attempt to use black magic to aid their dying cause. The Allies raid the camp where the ceremony is taking place, but not before a demon - Hellboy - has already been conjured. Joining the Allied forces, Hellboy eventually grows to adulthood, serving the cause of good rather than evil.  Take that, evil!


Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

Hellboy – I love a hero who is a monster.  AND he’s got his own build in artifact in…

The Right hand of Doom – Best mystical artifact name ever.  Unfortunately for Hellboy, it ain’t ever coming off.

Samael – A hideous other dimensional monster that causes trouble for our heroes.  Sort of Lovecraftian, which means it probably also hates black people (how ironic).

Trivia Notes:
The studio wanted Vin Diesel to play Hellboy. This is coming from someone who doesn’t dislike Vin Diesel: fuck you “studio.”

When Professor Bruttenholm is showing Agent Myers through the BPRD when he first arrives, a greyish male humanoid statue with a large ring on its groin is momentarily seen. This is actually Roger the Homunculus, a supporting character introduced late in the Hellboy comics (in the story arc "Almost Colossus"), who often goes through periods of dormancy; when active, he is a special BPRD agent much like Abe. Roger did not make it into the movie script as a character, but made it into the film as a piece of set decoration instead. Another comic-book prop reference in the same scene is the large set of metal boots sitting in one of the glass display cases. These belonged to a supernatural creature called "The Iron Shoes" from the short story of the same name.

Moment of Wonder
MONSTER FIGHT!
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/Z_uysUyZodo" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/Z_uysUyZodo</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

Dogmeat almost singlehandedly defeats the monsters, but finds himself succumbing to the beasts' poisons, which render him incapacitated and in overwhelming, mind-destroying pain.  Bono uses a sleep song to render him into unconsciousness, but even this proves impossible due to the strange properties of the poison.  So instead, Bono creates an illusion spell that puts his mind into a place of his greatest dream: ruthlessly beating and murdering everyone in the party.

[Johnny Unusual]

Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork. Where would we be if we didn't follow the correct procedures?

Number 39: Brazil   
(33 points on 2 of 14 lists. Top Vote #4 by Starman!)

 Plot:
Sam Lowry is a harried technocrat in a futuristic society that is needlessly convoluted and inefficient. He dreams of a life where he can fly away from technology and overpowering bureaucracy, and spend eternity with the woman of his dreams. While trying to rectify the wrongful arrest of one Harry Buttle, Lowry meets the woman he is always chasing in his dreams, Jill Layton. Meanwhile, the bureaucracy has fingered him responsible for a rash of terrorist bombings, and both Sam and Jill's lives are put in danger.

Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

The imagination – It may be the last safe haven we have.

Trivia Notes:
Early title for Brazil was "1984 and a 1/2", an ode to Federico Fellini and 8gwa 1/2, but the film Nineteen Eighty-Four was released and the idea was scrapped, as there would have been legal trouble with the George Orwell estate.

This was River Phoenix's favorite movie, and he had been filming Dark Blood withJonathan Pryce. As a gift, Pryce arranged for Phoenix to meet Terry Gilliam, his hero. The meeting was set to happen the day he died outside the Viper Room. Phoenix never met him.

Moment of Wonder
We can all fly in our dreams
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/ogdn4GoMfoQ" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/ogdn4GoMfoQ</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

But as the dream continued, not even Bono's song could prevent nightmares and madness from sinking into his mind.

[Johnny Unusual]

Hey, slow pokes... Guess what? There's no tomorrow... Know why, baby? 'Cause it'll never get here.

Number 38: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
(33 points on 2 of 14 lists. Top Vote #2 by Starman!)

 Plot:
Essentially a prequel to David Lynch and Mark Frost's earlier TV series "Twin Peaks". The first half-hour or so concerns the investigation by FBI Agent Chet Desmond (Chris Isaak) and his partner Sam Stanley (Kiefer Sutherland) into the murder of night-shift waitress Teresa Banks in the small Washington state town of Deer Meadow. When Desmond finds a mysterious clue to the murder, he inexplicably disappears. The film then cuts to one year later in the nearby town of Twin Peaks and follows the events during the last week in the life of Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) a troubled teenage girl with two boyfriends; the hot-tempered rebel Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook) and quiet biker James Hurley (James Marshall), her drug addiction, and her relationship with her difficult (and possible schizophrenic) father Leland (Ray Wise).

Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

The Log Lady’s Log – It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood.  It’s better than bad, it’s clairvoyant.

The Man from Another Place – “That gum you like is going to come back in style.”  Because the first thing I think of when I think of style is gum.  Unless it’s spirit gum and it’s part of a costume.  OHMYGOD I FINALLY CRACKED THE SERIES’ CODE!

Trivia Notes:
The convenience store sequence refers back to one of the first episodes of the television series, when Philip Gerard, under the influence of Mike, tells Cooper that the Black Lodge spirits lived above a convenience store when in the human world. According to Michael J. Anderson (Man From Another Place) the scene originally ran for twenty minutes; only about one minute actually appears in the film.

The movie originally ended showing Dale sitting in the Black Lodge, comforting Laura after she entered. It then cut to the last scene of the TV series, with Harry breaking down the door of the bathroom and finding Dale smashing his head into the mirror and laughing. Dale tries to act like nothing happened, but is dragged off to bed. This was to confirm that it was Dale's doppelganger that escaped the Black Lodge.

Moment of Wonder
Not to say that they are as cool as cucumbers, but everyone in the FBI is handling reality going coocoo bananas pretty well.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/7iJUs-4z2lY" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/7iJUs-4z2lY</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

Unfortunately, Dogmeat is completely dead... Also, I totally forgot Bono was in someone's body so we're going to reroll some stuff guys.  He has different stats now.

Dogmeat is dead.  He looks around and finds himself among his friends, but unmoored (wait, is that a thing.  What word am I looking for?) from life itself.  He sees the world of the living slipping away.  He sees a dark cloaked figure standing at the end of a long hallway.  The rest of the part sees Dogmeat's spirit slowly dissipating.  Dogmeat has a never says die attitude, however, even when dead.  He knows there is one way to come back The only chance he has left is to outsmart... Death itself!

[Johnny Unusual]

This is not like I expected at all! We got totally lied to by our album covers, man.

Number 37: Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey
(35 points on 2 of 14 lists. Top Vote #7 by Tejava Joe)

 Plot:
The world of our distant future is a veritable utopia, thanks to the lyrics of two simple-minded 20th Century (and first level) bards, Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan. However, a would-be conqueror threatens to throw history off-track by sending "most non-non-heinous" evil robot Bill and Teds back to kill their good counterparts. Finding themselves dead, the boys must outwit the Grim Reaper and traverse Heaven and Hell to return to the land of the living, rescue their "babes" and have a "most triumphant" concert at the all-important Battle of the Bands.

Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

Hell – I’m glad that Bill is following the rules of double negatives in describing that place, but I don’t think it increases said heinousness.

The Grim Reaper – So are Bill and Ted just really good at board games or has no one ever tried to escape death?

Station – STATION!

Trivia Notes:
The  smoker in the Builder's Emporium to whom Death says, "I'll see you soon" is director Peter Hewitt. In the cast credits The Smoker is credited as "Max Magenta".

Bill and Ted playing a game with Death to win back their lives is a reference to the classic Ingmar Bergman film, Det sjunde inseglet (aka The Seventh Seal), in which a knight plays chess with Death for his life.  But, of course, you knew that.

Moment of Wonder
I admit, when I was a kid watching this in the theatre, I was worried for them.  Still, it was funny, even without knowing the reference.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/wNzqf8a3mbc" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/wNzqf8a3mbc</a>