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Author Topic: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown  (Read 29530 times)

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Offline Johnny Unusual

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List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« on: June 17, 2013, 02:34:36 AM »
14 lists.  over 170 entries.  The adventure begins!


You wake up in a dungeon.  The following members of the party are present:

Johnny Unusual - Dungeon Master and all NPCs
Raven - Corvus (Lawful Evil Drow Wizard)
Cole Stratton - Coal Stratum (Neutral Good Dwarven Bard)
Monty - Montgomery Cliff (Neutral Good Dwarven Fighter)
Mrs. Dick Courier - Richardella Deliverance (Chaotic Neutral Human Rogue)
CJones - Crump (Chaotic Evil Half-Orc Barbarian)
Tripe Hound Redux - Dogmeat (Lawful Evil Half-Orc Bard)
Anais.Butterfly - Anais Chaotic Good Elvish Sorceress (Chaotic Good Elvish Sorceress)
Pak-Man - Cecil (Lawful Good Human Paladin)
Compound - Spearmint Orangepip (Neutral Good Gnomish Alchemist)
Charles Hussein Castle - Sir Charlemagne von Rook (Lawful Good Human Cleric)
Darth Geek - Blackeyes (Neutral Evil Drow Wizard)
Tejava Joe - Tejava (Chaotic Neutral Human Rogue)
Starman! - Bono (Neutral Human Bard)

You wake up and despite the fact that some of you are good and evil, you need to work together to get out of this dungeon.  You see one exit and decide to use it.  Just as you decide to lead, Crump goes insane and starts attacking his fellow team members.  At first it seems to be due to his chaotic evil, but Cecil notices that he's been possessed by an evil ghost...


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2013, 03:37:28 AM »
It's show time.
Number 50 : Beetlejuice
(24 points on 2 of 14 lists. Top Vote #11 by CJones)

 Plot:
Adam and Barbara are a 12th level normal couple...who happen to be dead. They have given their precious time to haunt their house and make it their own, but unfortunately a living family is moving in, and not quietly. Adam and Barbara try to scare them out, but end up becoming a source of status for the new family. They call upon Beetlejuice, a chaotic evil bio-exorcist to help, but Beetlejuice has more in mind than just helping.

Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

Sandworms - Just one more reason not to go to Saturn

Various Haunting Spells - Beetlejuice has mastered them all!

Trivia Notes:
People considered for the role of Beetlejuice: Sam Kinison, Dudley Moore and Tim Burton's first choice, Sammy Davis Jr.

Moment of Wonder
After a botched haunting by our heroes, Beetlejuice shows he's the spirit with the... merit?  Wait, let me get back to you on that.  Anyway, here's the scene.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/Lcf227lWEek" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/Lcf227lWEek</a>
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 05:54:47 AM by Johnny Unusual »


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2013, 05:14:47 AM »
Crump is overcome and held down.  Luckily, Bono has a purification healing spell to fix Crump.  Bono tries to use his song to communicate with the outside, hoping to find someone will take them home...


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2013, 05:16:41 AM »
Be good.

Number 49 : E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial
(25 points on 1 of 14 lists. Top Vote #1 by Starman!)
Plot:
A meek and alienated little boy finds a stranded extraterrestrial. He has to find the courage to defy the authorities to help the alien return to its home planet.

Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

E.T. - The alien who is magic.  I guess.  Why not.


Trivia Notes:
Steven Spielberg stated in an interview that E.T. was a plant-like creature, and neither male or female.

Moment of Wonder
Just when it seems there is no escape!

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/_c9Y39wT0Ww" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/_c9Y39wT0Ww</a>
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 06:46:23 AM by Johnny Unusual »


Offline goflyblind

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #4 on: June 17, 2013, 05:21:54 AM »
posters ain't workin'. :(
dF = 0
d*F = J


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #5 on: June 17, 2013, 05:23:13 AM »
They're working for me.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #6 on: June 17, 2013, 05:41:11 AM »
Bono, sadly gets no sign from the outside.  With nothing else to do, our heroes open the door... only to discover a 50 foot drop off in the next room.  In fact, it isn't a room at all but a huge cavern.  And at the end of the 50 foot drop is a huge pool of water.  On the other side it looks like there is an exit across the subterranean lake.  Unfortunately, there is a huge monstrous shadow in the lake.  Too big to be anything... natural.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #7 on: June 17, 2013, 05:43:06 AM »
I was partial to tragedy in my youth. That was before experience taught me that life was tragical enough without my having to write about it.

Number 48 : Clash of the Titans
(25 points on 3 of 14 lists. Top Vote #14 by Darth Geek and Tripe Hound Redux)

 Plot:
Perseus is a lawful good fighter and the favored son of the god Zeus, but he has unwittingly ticked off the sea goddess Thetis. Just to make things worse, Perseus falls in love with the lovely Princess Andromeda, who used to be engaged to Thetis's son. Soon Perseus is off on one quest after another, with Zeus helping, Thetis hindering, and lots of innocent bystanders getting stabbed, drowned, and squished.
Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

Where to begin
The Kraken - Famous for both it's incredible size and for being released.

Bubo - The Orko or Snarf of the film

The Pegasus - Horses.  Now with wings.

Trivia Notes:
According to Ray Harryhausen's official website, a sequel to this movie entitled "Force of the Trojans" was pitched to MGM in 1984 but further development of the picture never eventuated.

Moment of Wonder
That is a big monster.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/BQpgIJUh9D4" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/BQpgIJUh9D4</a>


Offline Tripe

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #8 on: June 17, 2013, 05:50:03 AM »
Ok, that poster I can see. :)


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #9 on: June 17, 2013, 06:07:01 AM »
Yeah, they were working for me earlier, but when I posted #48 they stopped working for me.  Freaky.  Do they work for you now?  I'm trying to intentionally pick posters that aren't usually seen (or in the case of Beetlejuice, a badass fan poster) for stuff that has appeared a lot on other lists.  I like visual variety.

Anyway, back to the campaign.

Coal Stratum, Dogmeat and Blackeyes use their magic to overwhelm the Kraken in the pool of water while the others swim to safety.

They keep going until they find themselves at a shrine to the Gods.  The shrine seems to emit the most beautiful and perfect form of music.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2013, 06:08:47 AM »
From where I stand you are home free, the planets align so rare
There's promise in the air, and I'm guiding you.


Number 47 : Xanadu
(26 points on 2 of 14 lists. Top Vote #1 by Tejeva Joe)

 Plot:
The Greek muses incarnate themselves on Earth to inspire men to achieve. One of them, incarnated as a girl named Kira, encounters an artist named Sonny Malone. With the help of Danny McGuire, a man Kira had inspired forty years earlier, Sonny builds a huge disco roller rink.  Probably based on a story by Euripedes

Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

Disco - The darkest of magics.

Trivia Notes:
According to the two-page booklet included with the DVD, the film was originally conceived as a low-budget roller-disco movie. The imminent release of Skatetown, U.S.A. and Roller Boogie (films that actually exist and not imagined in a sketch show) prompted many changes, like blending 1940s and 1980s styles.

Moment of Wonder
Wait, this is what Kublai Kahn and Charles Foster Kane were so enamoured with?

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/7m1UWSD-FaA" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/7m1UWSD-FaA</a>
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 04:46:07 PM by Johnny Unusual »


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2013, 06:30:11 AM »
As the music is being enjoyed by the party, they find themselves taken from behind by...


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2013, 06:31:58 AM »
So, if your air-conditioner goes on the fritz, or your washing machine blows up, or your video recorder conks out, before you call the repairman, turn on all the lights. Check all the closets and cupboards. Look under all the beds. 'Cause you never can tell.

Number 46 : Gremlins
(27 points on 2 of 14 lists. Top Vote #12 by Mrs. Dick Courier)
   
 Plot:
When 1st level banker Billy Peltzer is given a small creature called a Mogwai by his father, he is unaware of the carnage he is about to encounter. There is a huge responsibility in looking after Gizmo as there are certain rules which must be followed. The Mogwai must be kept away from bright light, never made wet and never, ever be fed after midnight. When an accident occurs involving Gizmo and water, it begins a series of events that unleash strange terrible monsters called (wait for it) Gremlins.

Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

Mogwai and Gremlins - There's nothing more fairy tale than a monster with rules, which is ironic considering how much they love to break them.  Don't get the mogwai wet (wait, does this mean they don't urinate?  Come to think of it, I don't see any junk on them), don't feed them after midnight (so when is after after midnight.  Is 5 AM OK?) and keep them out of bright light (eh, I got no issues with that one).

Trivia Notes:
Little to no actual dialogue for the Gremlins and Mogwai exists in the script in itself. In addition to several instances of on stage rewrites changing or adding to much of the script, the voiceovers were all mostly ad libs, repeating snippets of just performed dialogue or in reaction to other sound effects or environment. To this end, Howie Mandelrecorded Gizmo's lines phonetically for foreign dubs of the movie, where localized dialogue and in jokes helped make the picture successful with audiences world wide. 

Moment of Wonder
Let's go when Billy's mom first sees them.  And kicks their asses.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/u1QIbENq66w" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/u1QIbENq66w</a>


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2013, 06:41:43 AM »
The party is overwhelmed by the Gremlins and all seem lost until Richardella Deliverance and Anais Chaotic Good Elvish Sorceress defeat them by casting Daylight.  After wiping the gremlins slime off their tunics, they continue onto the passage only to come across a ferocious monster man.  The party is ready to defend themselves, but Bono has other ideas.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: List of Crap: Top 50 Fantasy Movies Countdown
« Reply #14 on: June 17, 2013, 06:43:19 AM »
As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?

Number 45 (tie) : Beauty and the Beast
(27 points on 2 of 14 lists. Top Vote #11 by Starman!)
   
 Plot:
Belle is a girl who is dissatisfied with life in a small provincial French town, constantly trying to fend off the misplaced "affections" of conceited Gaston. The Beast is a prince who was placed under a spell because he could not love. A wrong turn taken by Maurice, Belle's father, causes the two to meet.

Magical Spells, Artifacts and Monsters

The Beast - The hero who changes because of a loving girl.  See, girls?  Stay with your awful beastly boyfriends.  You can CHANGE them!

The Enchanted Rose - A representation of the Beast's curse.  When all of the petals fall off, the beast can never return to normal.  Worth it to have Jerry Orbach as a singing candelabra by your side forever.

Trivia Notes:
Angela Lansbury, the voice of Mrs. Potts, thought that another character would be better suited to sing the ballad "Beauty and the Beast". The director asked her to make at least one recording to have for a back up if nothing else worked, and that one recording ended up in the film.

Moment of Wonder
There's probably another cool scene I'm forgetting, but I'll go with the iconic scene.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/9qtTPTxvoPA" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/9qtTPTxvoPA</a>
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 04:46:45 PM by Johnny Unusual »