What, THINGS did... WE... Learn?!

[Rabbi Hi-Keeba]

Like Birdemic, which is a word my phone still, thank God, does not know from "Birdman," I suspect that the environmentamentalist crap was thrown in so that, like Mai's simulated-bro-rape-mad boyfriend, the director, who is a computer software salesman at heart who thinks that solar panels and stock options are pick-up-line material (along with "even though you don't remember me from high school, I remember you, and exactly where you sat in what class"), can get laid, finally. Because if he gets much older without losing his virginity, that won't be a bald spot. It'll be a sslrpnl for a ssxmchn.

[Thrifty]

I learned that poison spiders will only kill you if your health is no longer necessary to the plot.

I learned how important fire extinguishers are in the context of a swarm of spiders.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

I learned that nobody involved with this had any realistic idea about what spider venom can or cannot do.

I learned this doesn't matter, as the number of spider bites needed to kill you is not determined by your health, your level of circulation, or the type of spider that bit you, only by your importance to the plot.