Author Topic: Trollish Continuationn  (Read 4733 times)

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Offline Fuzzy Necromancer

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Trollish Continuationn
« on: March 13, 2007, 04:40:09 PM »
In the beginning, there was "Troll", and it was seen, and some people found it good, though many would disagree.

Then, there was "Troll 2", and it had nothing to do with the aforementioned Troll, and it was resplendent with painful badness and devoid of production values, and there were not even trolls, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Then, there was "Troll 3", and it was devoid of connection to either of the first two Troll movies, and contained no ugly mystical beings, trolls or goblins, at all, only radioactive trees.

Now, here's my pitch:

Sell me "Troll 4". Give me a picture of a movie that manages to act as sequel to all three, tying up the plotholes, uniting characters, and managing to incorporate all the disparate elements without losing it's thread. In short, give me the film that, in a perfect world, would be the improved sequel to Troll, Troll 2/Nilbog, and Troll3/Crawlers.

Those that succeed will win a cash prise, my thanks, and possibly a vegetarian bologna sandwich.
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Offline Minnesota

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Re: Trollish Continuationn
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2007, 01:51:25 AM »
a troll comic book perhaps? not sure how cheap the rights come but this would be the best way to proceed in my opinion.


Offline MSTJedi

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Re: Trollish Continuationn
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2007, 05:14:54 AM »
No, he's asking someone to actually come up with a story that would explain all three movies as sequels instead of 3 totally different movies that they for some reason labelled "Trolls".  Unfortunately, I'm not nearly creative enough to do that.  ;D



Offline mrbasehart

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Re: Trollish Continuationn
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2007, 05:37:29 AM »
Fuck man! I wouldn't put any of that previous shit into the newest movie: Trolls 4: When Dwarves attack!

Here's the pitch:

Dwarves (the mithril mining kind, not the other little dudes), take on the small town of Littlehaven, proclaiming it as their new capital city.  The humans who live there are quickly overwhelmed and killed - this can be a pre-credits sequence, with some rocking metal music to match the action - all but the vacationing Large family.  (The Large family - taking on little dwarves!)  The Large family consist of 4 members: John Large (the father), Tammy Large (the mother), Brenda Large (the slutty, and possibly in one scene topless, daughter) and Billy Large (the pre-pubescent, precocious child who knows something's wrong in the town of Littlehaven where all the residents are under 4 foot tall).  From here, the plot basically writes itself, we got suspicion leading to investigation, leading to revelation, leading to some decapitation, then a stinger ending where we discover that Billy isn't actually a child.  He's a dwarf!

Fuckin' gold man.


Offline MSTJedi

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Re: Trollish Continuationn
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2007, 07:06:05 AM »
So, pretty much copy Troll 2's story, just insert dwarves and take out the idiot boyfriend-guy and his moronic buddies? Sounds like gold to me.



Offline mrbasehart

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Re: Trollish Continuationn
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2007, 02:38:56 PM »
So, pretty much copy Troll 2's story, just insert dwarves and take out the idiot boyfriend-guy and his moronic buddies? Sounds like gold to me.

Hm... Maybe we need some morons.  Y'know, as axe fodder. 


Offline MSTJedi

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Re: Trollish Continuationn
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2007, 08:02:53 AM »
Now that's something I can get behind.



Offline Greg

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Re: Trollish Continuationn
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2007, 05:02:04 AM »
There's a lesser known movie that should be added to the Troll Continuum: Quest for the Mighty Sword (as it was known in the U.S.), but in some international markets it was retitled Troll 3: The Sword Of Power.   It was a sword & sorcery flick, really has nothing to do with the Troll series, but it reuses the troll costumes for two of the major characters.  It was directed by the executive producer of Troll 2 (Joe D' Amato) and is a terrible movie in its own right (there's neon lighting in a bar fight scene...in a sword & sorcery flick, and a fight scene where the hero fights a two-headed Siamese robot), and if you were ever deprave enough to imagine a Troll banging a human female, this film has such a scenario, though (unfortunately) it isn't shown on screen (thought you do see them "make out" for about a minute).  Another added bonus is that its the sequel to the MST3K Cave Dwellers.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2007, 05:34:48 AM by Greg »


Offline Fuzzy Necromancer

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Re: Trollish Continuationn
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2007, 12:57:27 PM »
Unfortunately? I like my movies human-troll sex scene free thankyouverymuch. xp


I thought it was called "The Hobgoblin" or "Ator 3: The Hobgoblin"
Love doesn't hurt. It kills.

"Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine."