What. Things. Did. We. Learn?!

[Trekker4747]

I learned that even Twilight isn't beneath the surprise-twist-undo-reboot ending.

[Sugar Ray Dodge]

Why couldn't they just use real babies?

[Trekker4747]

I think it was to make a CGI baby that had features similar to Bella, Edward and the actress playing child-aged Renesseme.

[Sugar Ray Dodge]

I didn't know Aragorn was a vampire bum!

[Rainbow Dash]

That they had better Wolf CGI artists in this film than they did for "The Grey"

Which is really sad...

[Trekker4747]

That they had better Wolf CGI artists in this film than they did for "The Grey"

Which is really sad...

That's actually quite pathetic.

[ManUnderMask]

I learned that Movie Bob (of The Escapist) is full of shit for declaring that the "action sequence" at the end of this film rivaled that of The Avenger's finale.

No Movie Bob, it did not.

[Darth Geek]

I learned that Movie Bob (of The Escapist) is full of shit for declaring that the "action sequence" at the end of this film rivaled that of The Avenger's finale.

No Movie Bob, it did not.

I learned you would trust somebody called Movie Bob.

[CJones]

Vampires have house building skills that rival those of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Heck, they even managed to get electricity and plumbing in the middle of nowhere.

[MartyS (Gromit)]

Vampires have house building skills that rival those of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Heck, they even managed to get electricity and plumbing in the middle of nowhere.

I just assumed that the electric vampire girl just comes around once in a while and charges up their bambleweenie superX capacitor.  But I may have suspended my belief a bit too far prepping for this movie....

[Lemming Howard]

Vampires have house building skills that rival those of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Heck, they even managed to get electricity and plumbing in the middle of nowhere.

I just assumed that the electric vampire girl just comes around once in a while and charges up their bambleweenie superX capacitor.  But I may have suspended my belief a bit too far prepping for this movie....

Tom Bombadil was a vampire.

[Trekker4747]

I learned that vampires don't breathe but need to breath in order to smell the odor of their prey.

[Sugar Ray Dodge]

Can somebody tell me why this needed to be two movies OTHER than money. I know they did it for money. But, sadly, I can't help but think that this MIGHT HAVE BEEN an OKAY (JUST OKAY) movie if all the "action" had been put into a single movie.

...maybe "okay" is too strong a term. Maybe "narratively serviceable" is better. Not saying it would have been GOOD. Do not misunderstand. But, then again, we wouldn't have had two riffs and possibly THE BEST JOKE OF ALL OF RIFFTRAX HISTORY from Breaking Dawn 1. "WHY?! WHY?! I'll tell you why! --oh, hang on. The movie's starting!" [Movie ends.] "DAMMIT MIKE! YOU MADE US MISS THE MOVIE!"

[Thrifty]

I learned that one vampire was around during the American Revolution.

[Thrifty]

I learned that, if the king of the vampires is afraid that a human/vampire hybrid will threaten the existence of vampirekind, and you have evidence to the contrary, you shouldn't open with that.  Instead do a big, complex mental projection of the future.  That way your shitty vampire movie can have a big battle followed by a "lulz just kidding".