LoC 66 Top 50 80s Movies

[Smoky]

My God, Clue beat Pee-Wee? Oh, well, at least it made the list.

I never really enjoyed E.T., except the cool score.

[Starman!]

John Hughes was a fucking genius.

I'm not very familiar with Mel Brooks though. I've seen parts of Spaceballs and Young Frankenstein (Puttin' on the Ritz!) and I saw the remake of The Producers and that's it.

[Johnny Unusual]

Blazing Saddles is well worth your time.  I've never seen it, but I've also heard that the original Producers is one of the all time great comedies.

[Nunyerbiz]

Blazing Saddles, History of the World, Spaceballs are my favorites. That's only because they were the three that I grew up watching on HBO.. must have watched History of the World like 25 times when I was eight or ten years old. Hmmm... that's a bit unsettling in hindsight.

[Darth Geek]

27b. Dirty Dancing

(59 points, 3 lists of 24, highest ranking: #4 Sicgirl, Mrs. Dick Courier)
Release date: May 12 1987

Directed by: Emile Ardolino

From IMDB: Spending the summer in a holiday camp with her family, Frances "Baby" Houseman falls in love with the camp's dance instructor Johnny Castle.

My take:
UGH! That's right, that's my take, a big old Norman-esque "UGH!" Fuck this movie.

What have we learned?
 Babies don't belong in corners.
 Rich adults are prejudiced, but their coddled and spoiled kids are not.
 
Hey, it's been riffed! Oh thank GOD!
http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax-presents/dirty-dancing

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/7tsW27aD5xA" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/7tsW27aD5xA</a>

Remake: You can't replace Patrick Swayze. I think the closest would be James Franco. As for Baby...uh...I dunno...Emma Watson?
Director, Rob Marshall (Chicago).

[Darth Geek]

27a. Blue Velvet

(59 points, 4 lists of 24, highest ranking: #2 Charles Hussein Castle)
Release date: September 19 1986

Directed by: David Lynch

From IMDB: After finding a severed human ear in a field, a young man soon discovers a sinister underworld lying just beneath his idyllic suburban home town.

My take:
I have never seen this movie, but the descriptions I get make it seem like Fifty Shades of Grey, if that was actually done well and not a shitty Twilight fanfic.


What have we learned?
 I think this is somehow related to how Walter got the finger in The Big Lebowski.
 
http://www.ifc.com/greg-the-bunny/videos/greg-the-bunny-blue-velveteen


Remake: How do you remake a David Lynch movie without David Lynch? I have no idea. But I think Paul Thomas Anderson could be a step in the right direction.

[Darth Geek]

26. The Blues Brothers

(64 points, 4 lists of 24, highest ranking: #6 Imrahil, goflyblind)
Release date: June 16 1980

Directed by: John Landis

From IMDB: Jake Blues, just out from prison, puts together his old band to save the Catholic home where he and brother Elwood were raised.

My take:
Effortlessly Cool: The Movie.
Wearing sunglasses at night has never been so cool, and fortunately Corey Hart free.
Technically this is a SNL movie, and yet it is still good. Nay, awesome in fact!
Holy crap, another musical I actually like!

What have we learned?
 Chicago USED to let you film damn near anything within city limits.
 Dressing like the squarest guys possible can make you cool.
 Bazookas are minor inconveniences.
 If you are cool enough, suits will clean themselves while you are wearing them.
 Cab Calloway is AWESOME!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/L5VM77oBjvA" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/L5VM77oBjvA</a>

Remake: Oh HELL no!

[Darth Geek]

25. Transformers: The Movie

(65 points, 3 lists of 24, highest ranking: #1 Tyrant)
Release date: August 8 1986

Directed by: Nelson Shin

From IMDB: The Autobots must stop a colossal planet consuming robot who is after the Autobot Matrix of Leadership.

My take:
My Childhood: The Movie.
This movie is the epitomy of 80s goofy commercial fun. At the hieght of it's initial popularity, the silly cartoon designed to sell toys tried selling us movie tickets.
I'm not going to ignore or deny the commercial point of the show and it's movie. But they did manage to make memorable charaters that are still beloved, have kickass battles that had actual consequences and emotional throughlines, and there was character growth in Rodimus. They didn't have to do all of that, but they did, amidst all the red and blue lasers.

What have we learned?
 Most alien civilizations in the universe are machine based, not organic.
 A movie designed just to sell toys could actually have interesting characters, character arcs, emotion, as well as awesome action you could actually follow.
 Even in this movie, the story stops dead every time we spend time with the humans.
 80s rock is FUN! It may be cheesy as all hell, but it's fun.
 It is not physicaly possible for me get the huge grin off my face when "The Touch" is playing.
 I actually think Michael bay did in fact watch this movie. Because I think he heard "Dare to be Stupid" and took it as a personal challenge.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/eYAAbbuEpnw" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/eYAAbbuEpnw</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/bq1_6D9QS9Y" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/bq1_6D9QS9Y</a>


Remake: Joe Dante directs, main characters are the robots, NO KIDS.
        Bruce Willis as the Army captain who's squad first encounters the Transformers and is the primary human character.
        Bruce Campbell plays the President of the United States, and Timothy Balme is the embassador from New Zealand.

[Darth Geek]

24. Evil Dead 2

(66 points, 6 lists of 24, highest ranking: #9 gojikranz)
Release date: March 13 1987

Directed by: Sam Raimi

From IMDB: Five friends travel to a cabin in the woods, where they unknowingly release flesh-possessing demons.

My take:
 One of the definative horror comedies. Ash (short for Ashley, he is one of the manliest men with a girl's name ever) must match wits and muscle against demons. With only his chin, a chainsaw, and a shotgun.
 As to wether this is a sequel or remake...does it really matter? It's just an excuse to have more fun watching Bruce Campbell get blood thrown on him and laugh hysterically all the while.

What have we learned?
 You will beleive a demon possessed man can cry.
 Bruce Campbell is AWESOME!
 It's not a good idea to read from a book with a FACE ON IT.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/AgNGWb4_QPc" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/AgNGWb4_QPc</a>


Remake: They are working on a remake of the first one right now. I am aprehensive, but it has the active production of Sam Raimi, Rob Tappert and Bruce Campbell. If it ever had any chance of being good, it does with that kind of backing.
And even if they did a sequel to it, I doubt they would go the similar horror comedy route.

[Darth Geek]

23. Dark Crystal

(67 points, 5 lists of 24, highest ranking: #6 CJones)
Release date: December 17 1982

Directed by: Jim Henson, Frank Oz

From IMDB: On another planet in the distant past, a Gelfling embarks on a quest to find the missing shard of a magical crystal, and so restore order to his world.

My take:
This is the Henson workshop really given over to pure creativity, and WTFness. A movie, for good or ill, that you just have to accept of not going in.

What have we learned?
 Vulture things and sloth hippies are both part of the same being.
 Crystals can just have small pieces of them fall off that can be just inserted back in.
 A person's essence can be sucked out by being forced to watch this movie.


<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/s9I9wJsRFOk" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/s9I9wJsRFOk</a>

Remake: They were working on a (I think) sequel, but that never left Developement Hell. I think with newer technology (but NO CGI) the Henson workshop could do even more interesting things. I'd like to see a different story told, though.

[Darth Geek]

22. Raising Arizona

(68 points, 6 lists of 24, highest ranking: #2 Smoky)
Release date: March 13 1987

Directed by: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

From IMDB: When a childless couple of an ex-con and an ex-cop decide to help themselves to one of another family's quintupelets, their lives get more complicated than they anticipated.

My take:
 Kidnapping has never been so funny! Nicholas Cage proves once again that you wish he were in more movies.

What have we learned?
 Raising a baby is hard. I had no idea!


<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/tV4hAxHhjzs" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/tV4hAxHhjzs</a>

Remake: Who could replace Nicholas Cage? Not really anybody. But I wouldn't mind seeing a version of this with Crispin Glover and Charlize Theron. Directed by Terry Jones.

[Darth Geek]

21. Star Wars episode VI: Return of the Jedi

(69 points, 5 lists of 24, highest ranking: #4 Pak-Man)
Release date: May 25 1983

Directed by: Richard Marquand

From IMDB: After rescuing Han Solo from the palace of Jabba the Hutt, the Rebels attempt to destroy the Second Death Star, while Luke Skywalker tries to bring his father back to the Light Side of the Force.

My take:
The conclusion of the epic Star Wars trilogy. And a signal that not all was paradise in George Lucasland anymore. The most uneven of the original three movies, but what it gets good, it gets very good. And say what you will about the Ewoks, they were at least new, whereas we got another Death Star.

What have we learned?
 Care Bears can beat weekend warriors in platic armor.
 If you build it again, they will just blow it up again.
 Maintain better emotional control over your 6'5" asthmatic henchmen.
 Bottomless pits may look like a cool design motif, but it may backfire on you.
 Disgusting slug creatures that wear no clothes have great taste in clothing for their slaves.
 We learned where Audrey II came from.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/5KBEEJQEW3o" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/5KBEEJQEW3o</a>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/d5mK7dzyUkM" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/d5mK7dzyUkM</a>

Remake: Of course you wouldn't remake this without having already done the previous two.

[Darth Geek]

20. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

(70 points, 6 lists of 24, highest ranking: #5 Sicgirl, ScottotD)
Release date: June 11 1986

Directed by: John Hughes

From IMDB: A high school wise guy is determined to have a day off from school, despite of what the principal thinks of that.

My take:
This movie rides on the star's shoulders like few others. There is no wonder that Mathew Broderick is still riding off of this movie's popularity to fuel his career. He has an effortless charm here that just can't be beat. And while I understand the criticisms of the shallow character, this is just a movie you either accept and enjoy, or not. And the movie clearly knows it.

What have we learned?
 Some kids can just get away with damned near everything. I am okay with that, just don't elect them to office.
 Faking being comatose will let you see Mia Sara naked. Totally worth it!
 Principals of public schools are their own probation officers.


Not a parody, but a review, and a damn funny one:
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/lsDQGxTEaJ8" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/lsDQGxTEaJ8</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/1sTnu85SBfo" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/1sTnu85SBfo</a>

Remake: I know I've mentioned him several times already for various things, but I could definitely see James Franco starring in a remake of this. Have it directed by Judd Apatow.

[Darth Geek]

19. The Little Mermaid

(74 points, 5 lists of 24, highest ranking: #5 Smoky)
Release date: November 15 1989

Directed by: Ron Clements, John Musker

From IMDB: A mermaid princess makes a faustian bargain with an unscrupulous seahag in order to meet a human prince on land.

My take:
Part of the Disney "renaissance", this movie showed that Disney coulld tell different stories than it had before, but still be relevent. And entertaining. Also entertaining: fish cooking treated like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel.

What have we learned?
 It is better down where it's wetter. Insert pervy joke here.
 I feel like a dirty old man when I see her in her clamshell bra thing.
 Clearly evil people are evil.
 Octopussy really hit the skids after she and Bond broke up.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/aRlA4sh2ZUU" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/aRlA4sh2ZUU</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/05FGfh9ntkU" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/05FGfh9ntkU</a>

Remake: I would say Henry Selick for director, as he seems to "get" female protagonists better than a lot of others. As for the voice of Ariel, go with a voice-over actress, not a star.

[Compound]

No Young Frankenstein? That's easily his best.

1974 though, so not a good choice for the list.

And Jedi? Really? I'm a huge Star Wars fan, but even I wouldn't put it on a top 25 list.