LoC 66 Top 50 80s Movies

[Starman!]

The Elephant Man is a great movie. Glad it made the list.

[Johnny Unusual]

Agreed.  I didn't expect it to rank so highly on my own list, but somehow it hung in there past fan favourites.  I saw it again about a year ago and it really stuck with me.  I love the complexity of Anthony Hopkins character as well and the fact that he is forced to question what he is to accomplish with John Merrick.  It's not a simple relationship and though it is one that is mostly good for John, the new celebrity of John Merrick might be a mixed blessing.  It's never damning, praising or judging, simply exploring.

[Tripe]

More Withnail stuff then, possibly spoilers lie within:

<a href="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/cAfMN1NNAaQ" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/cAfMN1NNAaQ</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/f5GjRDx0C-o" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/f5GjRDx0C-o</a>

[ScottotD]

Coincidentally I saw it at an outdoor cinema last week, looked amazing on a big screen.

[Darth Geek]

42. Some Kind of Wonderful

(39 points, 2 lists of 24, highest ranking: #1 Zombie Monty)
Release date: February 27 1987

Directed by: Howard Deutch (hmmmm, this came out a year after Howard the Duck...)

From IMDB: A young tomboy, Watts, finds her feelings for her best friend, Keith, run deeper than just friendship when he gets a date with the most popular girl in school. Unfortunately, the girl's old boyfriend, who is from the rich section of town, is unable to let go of her, and plans to get back at Keith.

My take:
I don't care how much of a tomboy you are, a girl who calls herself Watts is destined to become a supervillain.
I can see why Leah Thompson was the most popular girl in school. But I don't care if Mary Stuart Masterson is wearing a diving suit and a welders mask, she's cute damnit.

What have we learned?
It's more teen angst, for crying out loud! All I learned (AGAIN) was the pretty people in the movies had a far more interesting time in high school than I did, actually going to high school in the 80s.
Just from the description on IMDB, if you substitute Watts for Shaun, I imagine this is how Cinester Theater was formed.

Dawson's Creek, Homecoming:
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/Mp1rJlSWsL0" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/Mp1rJlSWsL0</a>

Remake: Not sure how many people remember this one, actually. Do you have any idea how hard I looked for a parody video related to this movie?

[Darth Geek]

41c. The Neverending Story

(40 points, 3 lists of 24, highest ranking: #6 Smoky)
Release date: West Germany, April 6 1984
              USA, July 20 1984

Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen

From IMDB: A troubled boy dives into a wonderous fantasy world through the pages of a mysterious book.
(Sure captures the wonderment, doesn't it?)

My take:
Ah the wonderment. The confusing, oddly creative wonderment. A mishmash of creative creatures, yet we spend most of the time with the lamest main kids in a fantasy movie since...Neverending Story 2.
Okay, who thought up the lame Atreyu? And what pervert thought up the Sphinx with HUGE tits?
And it has a wierd ending that doesn't really make any sense. 80s fantasy movie staple acheived!

Hey, it's been riffed!
By Cinester Theater:
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/cinester-theater/cinester-theater-presents-neverending-story
and by I See You Studios:
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/i-see-you-studios/never-ending-story-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah-ahh


What have we learned?
 The title can be blantant LIE! This is Naked Lunch all over again.
 I learned what inspired Shyamalan to have the wind be the villain in The Happening.
 I did NOT learn what Sabastian's Mother's name was. Seriously, WTF?
 Old people are useless. Oh, wait I already knew that... ok, old turtles are useless.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/KNxHe25RATE" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/KNxHe25RATE</a>



Remake: I would go with Robert Zemeckis. I wouldn't mind it being CGI, because they could do the creative fantasy really well that way.

[Darth Geek]

41b. The Goonies

(40 points, 4 lists of 24, highest ranking: #9 CJones)
Release date: June 7 1985

Directed by: Richard Donner

From IMDB: A group of kids embark on a wild adventure after finding a pirate treasure map.

My take:
A penis gets broken off of a statue, so a bunch of kids go off searching for a one-eyed willie's treasure. On the way they make friends with the giant mongoloid imbodiment of the mortal sin of laziness.
Damn they got away with a lot more in kids movies in the 80s!


What have we learned?
Feeding candy to a sloth will give you power.
You can adopt a full grown adult into your family.
Danny DeVito's mother had other, even wierder, kids.
No matter how ludicrous the device, if an Asian kid made it, it works.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/Qf9KXYhobw0" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/Qf9KXYhobw0</a>

Remake: Gore Verbinsky shows he can do epic and fun, and kids films (see Mousehunt). It's not just because it has pirates in it, but that does help.
Just make sure you cast unknown kids the right age, and not make them older teenagers. Oh, and Brad Garrett or Jason Segel for Sloth.

[Darth Geek]

41a. Mad Max 2: Road Warrior

(40 points, 3 lists of 24, highest ranking: #13 Tripe H. Redux)
Release date: Australia, December 24 1981
              USA, May 21 1982

Directed by: George Miller

From IMDB: In the post-apocalyptic Australian wasteland, a cynical drifter agrees to help a small, gasoline rich, community escape a band of bandits.

My take:
A movie that takes everything from the original, and amps it up to 11 (3 years before Spinal Tap). One of the definative action movies, and THE definative post-apocolyptic movie.

It has not been riffed yet, despite a Forum colaborative riffing project started a few years ago.

What have we learned?
In a future where fuel is a precious resource, fuel efficiency is not a priority.
Jason Vorhees learned leadership skills after the apocolypse.
Having a razorsharp boomerang may not be such a good idea.


<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/hc5NDuQisw0" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/hc5NDuQisw0</a>

Remake: If he could keep the damn unnecessary swearing down a little, I think Quentin Tarantino would make an interesting version of this.
Keep the Australian heritage a bit, cast Hugh Jackman.

[Darth Geek]

40. Graves of the Fireflies

(41 points, 3 lists of 24, highest ranking: #4 Charles Hussein Castle)
Release date: Japan, April 16 1988
              USA (Chicago festival) October 1994

Directed by: Isao Takahata

From IMDB: A tragic film covering a young boy and his little sister's struggle to survive in Japan during World War II.

My take:
 Prepare to cry. A LOT! And love every heartwrenching second of it.

What have we learned?
 The only movie endorsed by Kleenex.
 Being a little kid in a wartorn country sucked. I probably could have guessed as much.

 
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/xansF2SuEk8" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/xansF2SuEk8</a>

Remake: Uh....I wrote it down on this piece of paper, and *sniff* now I can't read it, it's too smudged...

[Darth Geek]

39b. Tron

(42 points, 3 lists of 24, highest ranking: #10 Zombie Monty)
Release date: July 9 1982

Directed by: Steven Lisberger

From IMDB: A hacker is literally abducted into the world of a computer and forced to participate in gladiatorial games where his only chance of escape is with the help of a heroic security program.

My take:
Yor had it right "Damn magic box!" Back in the 80s, we had no idea what went on in computers, they were just sorcery with logos on it. Unless you actually paid attention, or ripped one apart like I did. A month grounded, and no lightcycle, damnit!
Less mysterious was greedy corporations. But this movie dared to show how the two combined. In awesome, visually cool, but narratively silly ways. "Logic probe" indeed.


Hey, it's been riffed!
By Riff Raff Theater:
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/riff-raff-theater/riff-raff-theater-tron
and a Rifftrax Presents by Jonathan Coulton and Paul and Storm:
http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax-presents/tron

What have we learned?
 The title character doesn't need to be the primary focus.
 Computer "nerds" in the 80s were FAR more photogenic, unless they are comic releif.
 Giving Godlike powers to a computer nerd will not immediately result in it raining Cheetos and huge breasted women.
 There is only 1 female computer programer.
 I WANT A LIGHTCYCLE! *Dude, it was thirty years ago* I STILL WANT A LIGHTCYCLE!

<a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xkrk4d" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xkrk4d</a>

Remake: Another project where Robert Zemekis' motion capture actually would be a plus. And now that we have so much more technology of different types, and we know more about what goes on inside of computers, the clever creativity here is really crucial.
As for cast, now that Seth Rogan lost all that weight for Green Hornet, he'd be good as Flynn. Maybe James Franco as Alan.
Oh, and hire Daft Punk to do the soundtrack.

[Darth Geek]

39a. Little Shop of Horrors

(42 points, 2 lists of 24, highest ranking: #3 Smoky)
Release date: December 19 1986

Directed by: Frank Oz

From IMDB: A nerdish florist finds his chance for success and romance with the help of a giant man-eating plant who demands to be fed.

My take:
A big budget studio movie based on an off Broadway play based on a cheapie Roger Corman movie. Not really sure how The Undead became this movie, but whatever.
Similar to The Snow Creature, we see how the power of BOTANY can change people's lives!
Hey, what do you know, a musical I actually like! Whodathunkit?

What have we learned?
 Rick Moranis is AWESOME! Ok, I already knew that, but still.
 Dentists are evil.
 Mother Brain from Captain N used to be a plant.
 Seymour needs earplugs, because Audrey's speaking voice is really annoying. Singing voice is great, though.

OMG you guys, I found this awesome parody ending! And it has really great production values for a fanmade project too:
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/eSPsyCYaIW4" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/eSPsyCYaIW4</a>

*whisper* Wait, it WHAT?!

Remake: Danny DeVito for director, and he would make a good Mushnik. For Seymour, I would go with Simon Helberg.
And keep the original ending from the play!

[Darth Geek]

38c. The Fly

(43 points, 2 lists of 24, highest ranking: #1 gojikranz)
Release date: August 15 1986

Directed by: David Cronenberg

From IMDB: A brilliant but eccentric scientist begins to transform into a giant man/fly hybrid after one of his experiments goes horribly wrong.

My take:
One of only two movies to ever show that a remake can be better than the original. I think the other one is Barbed Wire, I'm not sure.
Done on a bet with David Lynch. I don't know who lost, but we won!
This movie is a deep existential treatise on what it means to be a man and what it means to be an insect. Apparently it means being an egotistical asshole and breaking other insect's arms.

What have we learned?
 This entire movie was produced as a promotion for Zap-To-It! bug zappers.
 Jeff Goldblum can play an eccentric scientist. Huh, you learn something new everyday.
 Flies vomit on their food before eating it. EWWWWWW!

Since I'm pretty sure "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" is not a parody of this, here's this:
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/8eosfXtuGS8" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/8eosfXtuGS8</a>


Remake: In order to not sound like a broken record by suggesting Guillermo Del Toro AGAIN, I would say go with Darren Aronofsky.
As for Brundlefly himself, I would LOVE to see Kevin Bacon do it, but if you want to go younger, I say Giovanni Ribisi.

[Darth Geek]

38b. Ran

(43 points, 3 lists of 24, highest ranking: #8 George Harrison)
Release date: Japan, June 1 1985
              USA September 27 1985

Directed by: Akira Kurosawa

From IMDB: An elderly lord abdicates to his three sons, and the two corrupt ones turn against him.

My take:
This is made by Akira Kurusowa, one of the most respected directors ever.
Unfortunately, this means that if I make any snarky comments about yellling "Kaneda!" or organs found in jars, I will be drawn and quartered. I can't make any jokes about cheesy Flock Of Seagulls songs, or I will be castrated. And I can't make any "Hey, he ripped this off from King Lear" jokes because...wait, why can't I make those again?


What have we learned?
 I know nothing about this movie.
 I should watch this movie.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/CD-cXrcLHDQ" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/CD-cXrcLHDQ</a>

Remake: Isn't this already a remake of The Running Man? *various horrible stabbing sounds* (Darth Geek is never seen again.)

[Darth Geek]

38a. Beetlejuice

(43 points, 4 lists of 24, highest ranking: #4 Smoky)
Release date: March 29 1988

Directed by: Tim Burton

From IMDB: A couple of recently deceased ghosts contract the services of a "bio-exorcist" in order to remove the obnoxious new owners of their house.

My take:
  What to say about Beetlejuice. This movie is just fun and creative, all mixed up in one cyclone of a performance by Michael Keaton. Everyone is good here, particularly Jeffrey Jones and Glenn Shadix, but this is the kind of movie that is intended to be dominated by the central title performance.
  This is the reason that I wish Tim Burton would work with Keaton again, and not just beat the same old quirky performance out of Johnny Depp again and again.
  Before Hot Topic was invented, Goth kids had it rough. They couldn't say "Bloody Mary" three times, that was too mainstream, the regular kids were all saying it. And the huge house their wealthy parents just moved into is SOOO lame. So call out "Beetlejuice" three times!  And out pops... what happened when the Joker fucked the Genie from Disney's Aladdin and their kid was a referee.
  Oh, and the first person to mention that guy who hangs around with Howard Stern gets a sandworm to the face.

What have we learned?
 Stripes are slimming. Even on your head.
 The afterlife was designed by that asshole middle management executive in the Lexus who cut you off in traffic the other day.
 Michael Keaton is AWESOME!
 I would watch an entire movie about Otho.
 Winona Ryder stole my heart even before she bacame a kleptomaniac.
 Goth kids were really into astronomy.

Because it is legally required by Internet law now that My Little Ponies enter every aspect of web life (including this list):
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/vYiuFkENQSA" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/vYiuFkENQSA</a>

And because I didn't want it to be just ponies:
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/gNbS1DyOh8g" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/gNbS1DyOh8g</a>

Remake: Michael Keaton would definitely have to be Beetlejuice again, but I think Alfonso Cuarón could direct a really interesting take on this.

[Darth Geek]

And that's it for another night.