LoC 65: Top 50 Urban Legends

[Compound]

# 35: Well, That Wasn't on the Drink Menu

23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by CJones )

The Story:
Stop squirming. We'll be at the truck stop soon. I told you not to have the 64 ounce soda.

Hey, you ever hear about the CEO who ruined his career by taking a whiz? See, this guy was on a flight and was a bit buzzed. He was on a flight and wanted another drink, but the flight attendants cut him off, saying he'd had enough.

The dude went nuts. He started swearing and screaming at them. Then to top it all off? The guy took a dump on the drink cart. At that point, the crew had enough and just landed the damn plane and kicked him off.  Right after that, his company decided that he might want to retire. Funny thing though? He's still in their frequent flier program.

No, I'm not going to pull over if you do that on the armrest. Just hold it in a little while longer.


Well, Is It True?
Well, despite skepticism, yeah. It mostly is true.

The executive was Gerald Buckley Finneran of TCW Worldwide. He was flying from Buenos Aires to New York on United Airlines. And while some of the reports of his antics may have been exaggerated in the retelling, the airline's initial complaint includes references to the shouting, berating the crew, defecating on the cart and using the cart's linen napkins as, ahem, "waste removal tools." Here's The Smoking Gun with the court documents.

He was arrested on the ground and on May 14, 1996, he was fined $5,000 and placed on two years probation, in addition to 300 hours of community service and reimbursing his fellow passengers for $48,000 in ticket costs. United also charged him a thousand bucks to clean up the mess.  He died in 2005 of Alzheimer's, which might account for his odd behavior as early onset of the disease usually occurs about ten years prior. Oddly enough, his obituary doesn't mention the incident.

Sadly, this isn't the only report of drink cart waste disposal. There's a similar incident in 2011 involving Michael Isabelle and there are a scattered handful of incidents since 1995.

Random Notes
David Letterman's  October 27, 1995 Top Ten List about this incident:
10. Misread brochure about advantages of first class
9. Confused when steward asked for headset deposit
8. Went nuts after learning they were out of chicken almondine
7. Though he heard somebody yell, "We're going to crash!" and that was just something he always wanted to do before he died
6. Hoping to impress aloof blonde English woman in 2-D
5. Had already used airphone to call everyone he knew
4. You try drinking for 14 hours and see if you can tell the difference between a food cart and a bathroom
3. All part of an elaborate plan to intimidate the real killers
2. His ... wouldn't fit in the overhead compartment
1. "Oh, like you've never done it"


Up Next
AKA The Girl With Too Many Forks

[Compound]

# 34: The Graveyard Wager

23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by Smoky )

The Story:
Remember Old Man Smithers?

Yeah, the guy who owned the old haunted amusement park. Well, they buried him last year. But a cousin of mine and his frat were having a party near the graveyard and they decided to have some fun with one of the pledges. They told him that Smithers was buried alive and if you go to his grave, you can hear him scratching away, trying desperately to claw his way out. And you stand on the grave long enough, well, he'd grab you and pull you into the grave to join him! Bwha-ha-ha!

Anyway, they told the pledge that if he stood on the grave, he'd be able to join the frat. But he'd have to prove it by driving a stake into the ground. So, the pledge left. A few hours passed, and no sign of the guy. Eventually, a couple of the more sober frat guys went to go search for him. Well, they found him in the graveyard. At Smither's grave. Dead as a doornail. From what the cops said later, the pledge had accidentally staked his coat to the ground. When he tried to leave, well, his coat was pinned. He must have thought Smithers had him. The kid scared himself to death.

I guess Old Man Smithers finally got his revenge on a meddling kid.


Well, Is It True?
Nah. Very common urban legend that's popped up in many forms. Girls. Boys. Stakes. Knives. Sticks. All variations. There's even an old version that revolves around girls sticking a fork in a grave to see who'll they'll marry.

In any case, it's an urban legend, pure and simple.

Random Notes
The above image is copyrighted, so don't use it without permission, okay? Otherwise the copyright holder will reach out of the grave and grab you.

Up Next
Cavaliers being OP though? Completely true.

[Compound]

# 33: Dungeons & Dragons!
 

23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by Johnny U )

The Story:
What's that? A ten sided dice? You're not one of them D&D players, are you?  Dude, stay away from that stuff.
 
No, not because Champions is better. That was two lists ago.
 
No, it's because D&D is evil. Man, where do I even begin?
 
You know that the "Player's Handbook" teaches you how to cast spells, right? But you have to get to maximum level first. And the "Monster Manual"? Well, that teaches you to summon demons and devils.  And if you die in the game, you die in real life.
 
Plus, there was this guy, Bob I think his name was, and he was a big D&D player. One day, he decided to explore the steam tunnels underneath Ball State with some friends. They got lost for seven days and hundred of people went searching for them before they eventually found them. BSU tried sealing up the steam tunnels then, but some guy tried reopening them. With C4. Yeah, that went badly. But that Bob kid? They never found him.
 
Plus, I heard at maximum level, you learn to summon this demon called a gazebo and... why the hell are you laughing?
 
Well, Is It True?
No. Not a word.
 
While the early D&D rule books did include descriptions of demons and devils (and Balrogs too), they weren't for summoning but for fighting. And "casting magic missile" isn't a real thing either. Most D&D legends come from either a Jack Chick tract called Dark Dungeons or from the group Bothered About Dungeons & Dragons (BADD), with a small amount of material from Mazes and Monsters.
 
Mazes and Monsters was itself "inspired" by a real life incident involving James Dallas Egbert, who was rumored to have entered the steam tunnels beneath Michigan State University due to his obsession with the game. In reality, he was suffering from depression and tried committing suicide in the tunnels using quaaludes. Failing, he headed to New Orleans, tried again using cyanide, failed and took a job as an oil worker. A year later, he committed suicide via gunshot. The private eye who searched for Egbet originally surmised that Egbert was trying to re-enact a D&D game and didn't correct the issue until after Egbert's death, by which time the rumor had become "The truth."
 
Random Notes
Versions of the "D&D players in the steam tunnels" legend show up in the mentioned "Mazes and Monsters", in the novel "The Big U" and in "Real Genius." Plus in the place that I stole the above version from. Sorry, Jolly.
 
Up Next
It does like to eat your wool clothes though.
 

[Compound]

Yeah, I apologize in advance for the next one.

[Compound]

# 32: Moths Are Instantly Addictive!

23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by Merry wanna )

The Story:
Oh, look. Spring in Colorado. Where we're suddenly surrounded by hordes of these damned Miller Moths. Hey.
 
You ever tried to eat one?
 
Oh, no. Not me. See, these things are apparently addictive as hell. You eat one moth and suddenly you keep craving and crave...
 
Hang on. This feels wrong somehow.
 
Oh, there's the problem...
 

[Compound]

 

# 32: Meth Is Instantly Addictive!

23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by Merry wanna )

The Story:
So, you've decided to take meth, huh?
 
Really? That seems like a rather sub-optimal plan. No, no. I'm sure that you know what you're doing though.
 
But just in case, you know it's addictive, right? I mean like really, really addictive. Like take a hit and boom, you're off in Tom Sizemore land. No, not starring in Saving Private Ryan, like beating up Heidi Fleiss and getting arrested a lot for drug...
 
You know what? Go ahead and use it. I'm sure you'll be the guy who uses recreationally uses meth with no problems at all.
 
 
Well, Is It True?
No. According to the National Institutes of Health, it's only "Highly Addictive" rather than automatically addictive. While tolerances vary, for most users it requires roughly a month or two of constant use to become physically addicted to it.
 
Random Notes
No, nothing else. I'm not really going to spend too much time arguing that meth use is only heavily dangerous rather than extremely so.
 
 
Up Next
I dial down the snark a tad.
 

[Compound]

# 31: Procter & Gamble & Satan
 

23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by Sicgirl )

The Story:
Hey, get me some toothpaste. You might want to get some for yourself too, meth mouth.
 
Whoa, whoa. Not Crest. Geez, man. What's wrong with you? They're run by Satanists.
 
See, the head of P&G showed up on Donahue one day and publically declared that the whole company is run by Satanists. Phil was shaken up and asked the guy if that was a good idea, and the P&G President said that "There weren't enough Christians in the United States to stop him." Then it happened again on Sally Jesse! And Jenny Jones!
 
Don't believe me? Look at their logo! See how the stars to the left of the face (which is Satan's, by the way) and how they form the number 666! When the founders made their deal with the devil, he told them that they had to mark their product so that other Satanists could find it.
 
And Ivory soap being 99.44% pure? You ever asked what the other .56% is made of? Don't. You won't like the answer.
 
No, don't get Aim either. That's made of ground up bones. Plus it tastes like crap.
 
Well, Is It True?
No. Firstly, the CEO of P&G has never appeared on any talk show. Nor has Liz Clayborne, who is rumored to have made a similar statement on Oprah. Nor Ray Croc, who supposedly was tithing 40% of McDonalds' profits to the Church of Satan despite being dead at the time.
 
Secondly, the P&G logo? It dates back to 1851. At the time, logos were considered to be more important than brand names, since a  fairly good number of folks were still illiterate. The (13) stars were intended to refer to the original 13 colonies, and the moon guy? Meh. Folks at the time were into moon images.
 
Random Notes
Fun fact- P&G once won a lawsuit against a company who was deliberately spreading this rumor as they were in competition with P&G. (Plus a little bit of trademark infringement as well.)The losing company? Amway.
 
Up Next
#30-21! Deja vu! More pokemans for you to have seen! Video games! Obscure foreign critters! And, of course, a tattooed cocaine addict will sing a song for you. All this and more!

[Compound]

Yeah, sorry. Hit a personal issue above.

Anyway, the schedule will be a odd with the posting as I though Halloween was on Tuesday.

It's not.

So, as a result, I may be posting this weekend, or I may just post the remainder on the weekdays. We'll just see. It'll be an exciting adventure! Catch you then.

[Tripe]

# 33: Dungeons & Dragons!
 

23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by Johnny U )

Responsible for one of the most jaw droopingly awesome/awful; Chick Tracks ever!

I'll let wurwolf and pal take you through it.

[Johnny Unusual]

# 33: Dungeons & Dragons!
 

23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by Johnny U )

Responsible for one of the most jaw droopingly awesome/awful; Chick Tracks ever!

I'll let wurwolf and pal take you through it.

I remember getting a D&D Choose your own adventure book long before I actually played (didn't play till collage) and I remember my mother, who almost never worried about such hilariously ridiculous stuff before or since, brought it up and told me to be careful (she still let me read the book) but I think mostly because my sweet but religious Grammy was over at the time, who I assume heard it from a friend of a friend.  Frankly, the only thing of the book that stuck with me was that the thief had to swim through sewage and fought with a bull whip.  I was also supposed to use a dice with the book, but I thought "screw it".

[Tripe]

Forest of Doom?

Hands down my favourite Fighting Fantasy book, played it properly only once. Even if it was a different book you're talking about I still want to be on record as loving Forest of Doom.

[The Lurker]

# 33: Dungeons & Dragons!
 

23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by Johnny U )

Responsible for one of the most jaw droopingly awesome/awful; Chick Tracks ever!

I'll let wurwolf and pal take you through it.

I've read that riffing before, though Debbie's face in the one panel reminded me more of Michael Keaton than Chuckie.

[Johnny Unusual]

I don't think so.  It was related to Forgotten Realms... I think.  It wasn't even so much choose as "roll well" your own adventure.  But there's way to many D&D books out there to even try to find it.

[Russell]

This is an interesting list so far.

[Johnny Unusual]

I agree.  Despite the small number of contributors, this is a lot of fun.