# 35: Well, That Wasn't on the Drink Menu
23 Points (On 1 of 9 lists)
Highest Vote: (#3 by CJones )
The Story:Stop squirming. We'll be at the truck stop soon. I told you not to have the 64 ounce soda.
Hey, you ever hear about the CEO who ruined his career by taking a whiz? See, this guy was on a flight and was a bit buzzed. He was on a flight and wanted another drink, but the flight attendants cut him off, saying he'd had enough.
The dude went nuts. He started swearing and screaming at them. Then to top it all off? The guy took a dump on the drink cart. At that point, the crew had enough and just landed the damn plane and kicked him off. Right after that, his company decided that he might want to retire. Funny thing though? He's still in their frequent flier program.
No, I'm not going to pull over if you do that on the armrest. Just hold it in a little while longer.
Well, Is It True?Well, despite skepticism, yeah. It mostly is true.
The executive was Gerald Buckley Finneran of TCW Worldwide. He was flying from Buenos Aires to New York on United Airlines. And while some of the reports of his antics may have been exaggerated in the retelling, the airline's initial complaint includes references to the shouting, berating the crew, defecating on the cart and using the cart's linen napkins as, ahem, "waste removal tools."
Here's The Smoking Gun with the court documents.He was arrested on the ground and on May 14, 1996, he was fined $5,000 and placed on two years probation, in addition to 300 hours of community service and reimbursing his fellow passengers for $48,000 in ticket costs. United also charged him a thousand bucks to clean up the mess. He died in 2005 of Alzheimer's, which might account for his odd behavior as early onset of the disease usually occurs about ten years prior. Oddly enough, his obituary doesn't mention the incident.
Sadly, this isn't the only report of drink cart waste disposal. There's a similar incident in 2011 involving Michael Isabelle and there are a scattered handful of incidents since 1995.
Random Notes David Letterman's October 27, 1995 Top Ten List about this incident:
10. Misread brochure about advantages of first class
9. Confused when steward asked for headset deposit
8. Went nuts after learning they were out of chicken almondine
7. Though he heard somebody yell, "We're going to crash!" and that was just something he always wanted to do before he died
6. Hoping to impress aloof blonde English woman in 2-D
5. Had already used airphone to call everyone he knew
4. You try drinking for 14 hours and see if you can tell the difference between a food cart and a bathroom
3. All part of an elaborate plan to intimidate the real killers
2. His ... wouldn't fit in the overhead compartment
1. "Oh, like you've never done it"
Up Next AKA The Girl With Too Many Forks