Author Topic: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread  (Read 17051 times)

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Offline wurwolf

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The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« on: July 09, 2012, 10:13:42 AM »
I have mentioned a few times (mostly in the Completely Random Thoughts thread, because I don't know where else to put it) how dumb my boss is. Since the stupidity never ends, I thought it might be fun to make a thread where we could all talk about the dumb things our bosses/supervisors/employers do. There is no doubt that I will be adding to it regularly.

So I get back into work today after being out for over a week and he's all excited to tell me about his latest news. First, though, a little history: About a month or so ago he told me that he was going to buy a dog from a pet shop (I can't remember if his wife had a specific breed in mind at the time or if it was just "tiny teacup dog"). I told him to be careful because teacup dogs have health problems and pet shops are notorious for getting these teacup dogs from unscrupulous breeders just to make a buck. I guess he listened to me (sort of) because they did not get a dog from a pet shop.

BUT! Today he showed me a picture of his new dog. It's a little tiny Yorkie and they took a picture of it next to a sippy cup for scale (it is slightly smaller than the cup). He is all excited because when his wife was trying to find a dog to buy she kept finding breeders who wanted $1200-$1500 per pup and now he wants to buy a female Yorkie and breed this little tiny dog to her and rake in the cash when it comes time to sell the puppies.

This is the best part. Because he refused to spend so much money on a dog, his wife found one from some guy in Queens whose dog had puppies and he sold it to them for $600. No papers or pedigree. So this boob for which I work thinks he's going to be able to charge $1500 for a pedigree-less dog's puppies -- a dog for which he paid $600. And I am sitting in his office doing my best to keep a straight face. I told him the dogs would need papers to get that kind of money and he's like, How do I get papers for my dog? And I am like, Oh god get me the fuck away from this dumbass before I lose my mind. I managed to control my initial impulse and I told him without papers he might be able to find some idiot to throw away six hundred bucks on a paperless puppy (except without the idiot part) and he was like, Hell no, I'm asking at least $1200.

I am sitting here at my desk laughing about it right now because it's like he got the dog and saw dollar signs and is all excited because the dogs will be doing all the work for him and he can just sit back and make money.
Bonhead #2
fs!!



Offline Thrifty

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2012, 09:36:54 AM »
I work, on and off, in the technical support field.  Right now I'm getting some education and trying to break into programming.

At my previous job, we had a process called a tech refresh.  This means that after 4 or 5 years, your computer is computer is basically obsolete and it needs to be replaced with a newer one.  For desktops, this was easy.  We just configured a new desktop that had the same programs as the user's current desktop, transferred files over, and swapped them out.

For laptops this was different.  If you had a laptop, you were still due a new laptop every 4-5 years, but you had to ask for it.  We couldn't just give it to you.  You couldn't just say "Thanks for the offer, but my current laptop is okay."  You had to get a new laptop, but you also had to ask for it.  So it created this idiotic mind game where I would basically have to trick people into asking for a new laptop so that I could complete this assignment.


Offline Thrifty

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2012, 09:45:02 AM »
Here's another story from my last place of employment.

There was a woman who had to take some sort of test for a professional certification.  Normally for this kind of test, you go to a testing center in your area and take the test there.  The certifying organization, in this case, had some sort of special process by which you could take the test from a remote site provided:

a) You had a webcam that could pivot (so, like, a webcam built into a laptop would not work but one that sat on top of a monitor and plugged into a USB port would).
b) You installed remote monitoring software that let them look through that camera into the room where you were.

So this woman wanted to take her test at the office.  This requires us to overcome a few hurdles.  First off, we can't install software unless it goes through testing and is packaged.  Secondly, remote monitoring software requires special reconfiguration of the corporate firewall.  This is not an easy task.  It might be easy technologically (I dunno, I've never been in charge of a corporate network firewall), but it sure isn't easy getting through the corporate red tape to get it implemented.

Normally, when a user makes a request like this, I politely point out that it violates a couple of company rules, and that it's far too technologically difficult to get around those rules, and suggest the user find another way.  In THIS case, the user happened to be close friends with my boss's boss, who kept hammering me and ordering me to find a way to get this done.

This woman was, I dunno, not a mean person, but she was a royal pain in the ass.  Whenever she wanted something, she was VERY insistent that she get it immediately, and that it was super important.  She didn't have a lot of patience, and she had no qualms about going to her buddy, my boss's boss.

So that whole thing with the webcam and the certification test was a big mess.  I won in the end though.  She and the boss's boss gave up and she just went to a testing center, like she should have in the first place.


Offline RVR II

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2012, 04:03:28 PM »
Since I used to breed Siberian Huskies, I know for a fact he won't get 4 digit figures for any dog without AKC papers But might swing close to $600 If he got the dog registered through the CKC like I did my male and female Huskies but even then I didn't get more than $100-$150 because I didn't get them their shots as I left that up to the new owners to take care of..

..And my new job of 4+ months is getting more stressful as I am being bounced around from 2nd shift to 1st shift then back to 2nd shift for 'training' and still have no real ending time for when I get to go home each day; it's 'when ever the work is done' type thing and even though I get paid overtime each day I go over 8 hours, it really sux not having set hours :-\
Not sure what my boss has planned for me but I don't hear a lot about working a weekend shift like I used to when I volunteered for it and others think it won't happen this year or ever..
I would like to know something soon as I want to start planning my vacation for December :-[


Offline bta

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2012, 06:00:46 PM »
My dumb boss is retiring!  Supposedly his last day is July 16th.  The clerk put a sticky note on my case asking me if I wanted to give them some money to help pay for a going away present.  I chortled and threw that right in the trash.  They're giving this dumbshit $20,000 to retire.  Idiots!
\()/ 3~ \()/


Offline RVR II

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2012, 09:36:50 PM »
That mail scum! :angry:


Offline CJones

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2012, 11:50:12 PM »
A few years ago, someone got a really nasty browser-hijack on our second register computer. I've dealt with those things before, so I know how to deal with them. Plus I have a degree in CS. Unfortunately I didn't have time to fix it that day, so I left a note on a full size sheet of paper taped over the monitor, saying, in no uncertain terms "DO NOT TOUCH THIS COMPUTER!"

Well, I had the next day off. When I got back, I discovered my boss (who has zero computer savvy) had taken it upon himself to have one of the other employees attempt to fix it. You see, he caught me watching YouTube once (on a different computer, and something everyone does) and therefore didn't trust me, the guy with the CS degree, to fix the damn thing.

Well, the other guy did a system restore, but not to the most recent restore point;  to the factory settings  :grr:

I took me the better part of a week to track down drivers for all the hardware, and reinstall every piece of software.

Best parts are, a few months later, that employee got fired for texting while at work, and then that same computer experienced a file system corruption. I had to re-format the hard drive, and then reinstall everything. AGAIN!!

EDIT: That wasn't an exaggeration when I said he has zero computer savvy. In six years, I've never seen him so much as touch a keyboard. He doesn't even know his own password. But I do, and it has admin access. If I felt so inclined, I could lock them out of their own system. And believe me, I've been tempted to do so.


Offline wurwolf

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2012, 12:32:23 AM »
How is anyone able to function at all in a place of business with zero computer knowledge?
Bonhead #2
fs!!



Offline D.B. Barnes

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2012, 02:14:53 AM »
In six years, I've never seen him so much as touch a keyboard. He doesn't even know his own password. But I do, and it has admin access. If I felt so inclined, I could lock them out of their own system. And believe me, I've been tempted to do so.

 :D




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Offline Thrifty

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2012, 08:23:38 AM »
This thread actually gave me a nightmare that I was back working at my old job again.

The weird thing about my relationship with my previous employer was that I would probably go back again if the job were offered to me, and it just might be come September.  I worked as a contractor.  They bring you on as a contractor for 1 year.  If they want, they can renew you for another year after that time is up, and again for a third year after that.  Which is what happened to me.  I started September 29th, 2008 and my last day was September 30th 2011.  They can restart the cycle after 1 year not working for them.  I saw it happen with a couple guys.


Offline gbeenie

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2012, 09:18:34 AM »
I work, on and off, in the technical support field.  Right now I'm getting some education and trying to break into programming.

At my previous job, we had a process called a tech refresh.  This means that after 4 or 5 years, your computer is computer is basically obsolete and it needs to be replaced with a newer one.  For desktops, this was easy.  We just configured a new desktop that had the same programs as the user's current desktop, transferred files over, and swapped them out.

For laptops this was different.  If you had a laptop, you were still due a new laptop every 4-5 years, but you had to ask for it.  We couldn't just give it to you.  You couldn't just say "Thanks for the offer, but my current laptop is okay."  You had to get a new laptop, but you also had to ask for it.  So it created this idiotic mind game where I would basically have to trick people into asking for a new laptop so that I could complete this assignment.


Is it wrong to think a little psychological warfare might help break up the monotony of the workday?
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere.
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

- Conan O'Brien


Offline Thrifty

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2012, 11:35:31 AM »
I work, on and off, in the technical support field.  Right now I'm getting some education and trying to break into programming.

At my previous job, we had a process called a tech refresh.  This means that after 4 or 5 years, your computer is computer is basically obsolete and it needs to be replaced with a newer one.  For desktops, this was easy.  We just configured a new desktop that had the same programs as the user's current desktop, transferred files over, and swapped them out.

For laptops this was different.  If you had a laptop, you were still due a new laptop every 4-5 years, but you had to ask for it.  We couldn't just give it to you.  You couldn't just say "Thanks for the offer, but my current laptop is okay."  You had to get a new laptop, but you also had to ask for it.  So it created this idiotic mind game where I would basically have to trick people into asking for a new laptop so that I could complete this assignment.


Is it wrong to think a little psychological warfare might help break up the monotony of the workday?
Well when you put it that way, I suppose it makes their motivations a little more clear.  Perhaps the evil you can understand is better than the random evil you cannot.


Offline gbeenie

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2012, 12:22:55 PM »
Do it in my stead, man, as the language barrier here makes fucking with my coworkers a virtual impossibility.
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere.
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

- Conan O'Brien


Offline bta

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #13 on: July 20, 2012, 12:21:39 PM »
4 days with a new boss!  Everything is falling back into place after 4 years of idiocy!  It is amazing how much he screwed our office up.
\()/ 3~ \()/


Offline RVR II

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Re: The Dumb Boss/Employers Thread
« Reply #14 on: July 20, 2012, 01:58:14 PM »
The 2nd shift team lead and the boss had a big falling out yesterday and now the entire department is having a big meeting on Monday..
Lotta 'he said she said' immature BS going on around here and it's finnaly coming to a head.

Man I wish I could get my business back to being self-sufficient again so I wouldn't have to be around this type of shit ::)