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Author Topic: Movies that will suck!  (Read 3674 times)

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Offline doggans

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2012, 04:12:49 PM »
Are the actors going to be nothing but teenage heartthrobs?(I swear to God, if Robert Pattinson is cast I will be kicking somebody's ass

"All teenage heartthrobs" is a weird conclusion to jump to for a remake of a farce. Usually they just cast ex-SNLers and Apatow regulars.


Offline TheUnabeefer

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2012, 07:13:46 PM »
For the record, Clue is one of 3 of my all-time favourite films (the others being Psycho (the original) and It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World) ...  I think it's hilarious the entire way through.  I wouldn't even think of calling that bi-polar.  Nonstop jokes from start to finish (all three of them)

When is that damned blu-ray coming? August??
...and there he was, reigning supreme at number two.  The One... The Only... The Unabeefer.



Offline Starman!

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2012, 08:21:12 PM »
My memory's not what it used to be, but I'm almost certain I've seen edgy movies that don't feature full-on penetration.



I do believe I'm gettin' the vapors!

This movie can bring only good things to the world.

That's it, I need to see Deep Throat. And this movie when it comes out (no pun intended).


Russell

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2012, 11:03:13 PM »
That's it, I need to see Deep Throat. And this movie when it comes out (no pun intended).
Enjoy the scene where some schmuck is drinking coke out of a vagina. I can't believe I just fucking said that. If the Cinema Snob was here, he'd probably wonder out loud why nobody was snorting coke out of a vagina(or something).
"All teenage heartthrobs" is a weird conclusion to jump to for a remake of a farce.
Depends on who does the casting. If they want to put asses in seats, yes I can see anybody catering to the teenage demographic by casting
the whole of the Twilight stable of actors.

For the record, Clue is one of 3 of my all-time favourite films (the others being Psycho (the original) and It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World) ...  I think it's hilarious the entire way through.  I wouldn't even think of calling that bi-polar.  Nonstop jokes from start to finish (all three of them
Wadsworth: You don't know who's been blackmailing you do you?
Peacock: Oh come on! I've never done anything wrong! My life is an open book, I've never done anything wrong!
Wadsworth: Anybody else wish to deny it?
(Silence for a solid 10-15 seconds)
Wadsworth: Very well, then I shall disclose details, thank you Yvette
Mrs White: Don't you think you might spare us this humiliation?
(Wadsworth then proceeds to outline the details of the blackmail for the next 5 minutes until there's a joke
in the form of Mister Body hitting Colonel Mustard a la The Three Stooges then Misses white knees him in
the balls. Then mister Body proceeds to give everybody a gift of a form of the weapons from the game...
then he turns off the lights, somebody dies, everybody crowds around, etc, etc)

But my point is... that's hardly non-stop hilarity, with all due respect to you Unabeefer
« Last Edit: June 16, 2012, 11:13:47 PM by Gunflyer »


Offline RoninFox

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #19 on: June 17, 2012, 12:39:31 AM »
While not every line in Clue is a punchline, there is a lot of funny dialogue, and a lot of it is fast paced. If you aren't paying constant attention when they start talking quickly you miss most of the jokes.
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Offline TheUnabeefer

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #20 on: June 17, 2012, 10:21:47 AM »
Wadsworth: You don't know who's been blackmailing you do you?
Peacock: Oh come on! I've never done anything wrong! My life is an open book, I've never done anything wrong!
Wadsworth: Anybody else wish to deny it?
(Silence for a solid 10-15 seconds)
Wadsworth: Very well, then I shall disclose details, thank you Yvette
Mrs White: Don't you think you might spare us this humiliation?
(Wadsworth then proceeds to outline the details of the blackmail for the next 5 minutes until there's a joke
in the form of Mister Body hitting Colonel Mustard a la The Three Stooges then Misses white knees him in
the balls. Then mister Body proceeds to give everybody a gift of a form of the weapons from the game...
then he turns off the lights, somebody dies, everybody crowds around, etc, etc)

But my point is... that's hardly non-stop hilarity, with all due respect to you Unabeefer

There's plenty of funny during the "the next 5 minutes until there's a joke" ... most of it physical in the form of looks, a lot of it in the back-and-forth dialogue while Wadsworth is explaining the blackmail.

"He threatened to kill me in public."
"Why would anyone want to kill you in public?!"
"I think she meant that he threatened, in public, to kill her"

That whole entire "dramatic expostion scene" (as you imply by your vague description) cracks me up... You could just as easily imply that there's no humour in the scene of Mad Mad Mad Mad World where they are all crowded around the dead body at the beginning talking to the police, but it's jam-packed full of funny.  You just have to pay attention to the jokes.
...and there he was, reigning supreme at number two.  The One... The Only... The Unabeefer.



Offline TheUnabeefer

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #21 on: June 17, 2012, 10:28:12 AM »
Don't make me post the ENTIRE script of that scene:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
...and there he was, reigning supreme at number two.  The One... The Only... The Unabeefer.



Offline Starman!

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #22 on: June 17, 2012, 11:31:44 AM »
I guess I have to see the Clue movie too.


Russell

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #23 on: June 17, 2012, 02:14:01 PM »
There's plenty of funny during the "the next 5 minutes until there's a joke" ... most of it physical in the form of looks, a lot of it in the back-and-forth dialogue while Wadsworth is explaining the blackmail.

"He threatened to kill me in public."
"Why would anyone want to kill you in public?!"
"I think she meant that he threatened, in public, to kill her"

That whole entire "dramatic expostion scene" (as you imply by your vague description) cracks me up... You could just as easily imply that there's no humour in the scene of Mad Mad Mad Mad World where they are all crowded around the dead body at the beginning talking to the police, but it's jam-packed full of funny.  You just have to pay attention to the jokes.
Maybe I'm not making myself clear. The semantics may indeed be funny... with the contingency of a huge HOWEVER. The tone of the whole 1st act and beyond is dead serious mystery drama, not outright comedy. Therefore from MY point of view, because of the tone, no matter what anybody in the movie says, it's still a serious drama to me. I can't fault the film for being written in a way where you have to watch it possibly more than once to get it, but I think a lot of the humor is presented in such a way that it's likely to go over many people's heads, not just my own.


Offline doggans

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #24 on: June 17, 2012, 03:08:44 PM »
"All teenage heartthrobs" is a weird conclusion to jump to for a remake of a farce.
Depends on who does the casting. If they want to put asses in seats, yes I can see anybody catering to the teenage demographic by casting
the whole of the Twilight stable of actors.

But for a farce, though? When was the last time one of those cast Twilight-ish actors?

(Then again, when was the last time anybody actually made a farce?)

And I disagree about the first act having a "dead serious mystery drama" tone. Sure, there IS an actual mystery/blackmail plot supporting the jokes, but that's like saying Ghostbusters is a drama because some of the ghosts are scary.


Offline RoninFox

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #25 on: June 17, 2012, 03:11:37 PM »
There's plenty of funny during the "the next 5 minutes until there's a joke" ... most of it physical in the form of looks, a lot of it in the back-and-forth dialogue while Wadsworth is explaining the blackmail.

"He threatened to kill me in public."
"Why would anyone want to kill you in public?!"
"I think she meant that he threatened, in public, to kill her"

That whole entire "dramatic expostion scene" (as you imply by your vague description) cracks me up... You could just as easily imply that there's no humour in the scene of Mad Mad Mad Mad World where they are all crowded around the dead body at the beginning talking to the police, but it's jam-packed full of funny.  You just have to pay attention to the jokes.
Maybe I'm not making myself clear. The semantics may indeed be funny... with the contingency of a huge HOWEVER. The tone of the whole 1st act and beyond is dead serious mystery drama, not outright comedy. Therefore from MY point of view, because of the tone, no matter what anybody in the movie says, it's still a serious drama to me. I can't fault the film for being written in a way where you have to watch it possibly more than once to get it, but I think a lot of the humor is presented in such a way that it's likely to go over many people's heads, not just my own.

From my point of view its hilarious, and Jedi are evil.
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Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #26 on: June 17, 2012, 03:12:46 PM »



Offline goflyblind

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #27 on: June 17, 2012, 03:17:54 PM »
What in all the fucks:
http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/56500/lionsgate-remaking-twilight-were-all-doomed

it's about damned time. that saga has been left to languish so long that it's nearly passed out of society's collective memory.
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Offline doggans

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #28 on: June 17, 2012, 03:27:33 PM »
Next up, Marvel will remake Ant-Man twice while they're still making it. Enjoy three completely different Ant-Man movies, coming to theaters in a single weekend!

(Hey, Clue did something ALMOST like that... :P )
« Last Edit: June 17, 2012, 03:30:12 PM by doggans »


Offline TheUnabeefer

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Re: Movies that will suck!
« Reply #29 on: June 17, 2012, 08:17:43 PM »
From my point of view its hilarious, and Jedi are evil.

With MY new Empire, we can destroy ALL Clue remakes!
...and there he was, reigning supreme at number two.  The One... The Only... The Unabeefer.