Toughest movies to riff

[Riffman for Hire]

Heaven's Gate: I couldn't even get a quarter way through this monstrosity.  It is so slow and boring that I have trouble seeing how anyone could sit through it, much less riff it for three hours (and I love three hours films like The Godfather and Lawrence of Arabia).  I won't say it's unriffable (it does have Christopher Walken), but I can't see anyone putting themselves through the agony of watching it for a riff.

A Serbian Film: Self-explanatory.

Supergirl.  Actually I think someone could make an excellent riff of this film.  That is, if they could ever tolerate sitting through it.  I think this is the worst superhero movie ever made.  Worse than Batman & Robin, worse than Green Lantern, worse than Fantastic Four.  It is so bland, boring and badly-made that it would try anybody's patience.

Anything by Tarkovsky.  Try riffing three hours full of slow moving rivers, philosophical musings and shots held for five minutes.  Good luck.

My Dinner with Andre: IMHO the gold standard of difficult movies to riff.  It's two hours of two guys chatting in a restaurant.  That's it, pretty much.  Sure, you could make fun of the dialogue.  But for how long?  I must admit that I did like it a bit because it's so different, but it was also making me sleepy and I had to stop it twice.

I add in any films over four hours, but that's kind of a given.  Who could riff Andy Warhol's Sleep or The Cure for Insomnia?  Furthermore, who'd want to?

[RoninFox]

You don't need to riff My Dinner With Andre.  Just watch My Breakfast With Blassie instead.

[Riffman for Hire]

You don't need to riff My Dinner With Andre.  Just watch My Breakfast With Blassie instead.

I haven't heard of My Breakfast with Blassie.  If I can find it, I'll check it out.

[RoninFox]

You don't need to riff My Dinner With Andre.  Just watch My Breakfast With Blassie instead.

I haven't heard of My Breakfast with Blassie.  If I can find it, I'll check it out.

It might be tricky to find a physical copy of.  It was a student film someone made as a parody.  The entire thing is Andy Kauffman sitting down and talking to Pro Wrestling legend "Classy" Freddy Blassie while eating.

[Riffman for Hire]

Anybody ever run into a movie that they thought they could riff easily, but then it turned out to be a lot harder than they first thought?

[stansimpson]

Anybody ever run into a movie that they thought they could riff easily, but then it turned out to be a lot harder than they first thought?

You mean absolutely everything we've ever riffed? Hahaha.

I think the short TreacheRiffs & Ice On Mars teamed up for, [link=http://quiptracks.com/zencart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=4&products_id=39]Seagram's Nightmare[/link], comes closest to "My Dinner With Andre". So, do we get a reward or something. FWIW, it's by far one of the strangest shorts we've ever seen, whether iRiffs, RiffTrax proper, or anywhere elsewhere.

[Riffman for Hire]

You mean absolutely everything we've ever riffed? Hahaha.

I think the short TreacheRiffs & Ice On Mars teamed up for, [link=http://quiptracks.com/zencart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=4&products_id=39]Seagram's Nightmare[/link], comes closest to "My Dinner With Andre". So, do we get a reward or something. FWIW, it's by far one of the strangest shorts we've ever seen, whether iRiffs, RiffTrax proper, or anywhere elsewhere.

I wish I could reward every iriffer with extra sales.  It looks so easy to riff something...until you actually start doing it.  Then it's a different story.  I thought Alien 3 was going to be a breeze.  Then I re-saw the part in the basement and the end chase and the three minute-long talk scenes and realized this was going to be a lot tougher than I first thought. 

That Seagram's short does look really weird, like a leftover from a really bad 70's sitcom. 

[Invader_quirk]

The one we're working on now is getting hard because it's not giving us anything new to work with as it goes on.

[Starman!]

Schindler's List because, well, that would just be awful.

[Riffman for Hire]

Schindler's List because, well, that would just be awful.

A perverse part of me always thought about riffing Schindler's List, but I think it would be way too offensive and make me the most hated riffer on Earth.  Also, it's three hours long and I don't want to do anything over two and a half hours.

I also just watched another candidate for toughest movie to riff: The Mill and the Cross.  It's a film about the painter Pieter Brueghel the Elder.  It has almost no dialogue, so the sync lines would be few and far between.  Plus it's an art film with no real plot and it's slow as hell.  If anyone wants to try it, be my guest.