Top 50 iRiffs

[Darth Geek]

#28b
Quiptracks - The Happening
(Total Points: 42    Number of Lists: 5  Highest Ranking: #3 David)



M. Night Shyamalan misheard the term "run like the wind" and made a movie about it. Essentially, it's a snuff film about what it's like to be an extra on an M. Night Shyamalan movie.


This movie is most known for: Making suicide funny again!
         Making less scientific sense than The Core.
         Informing us that one's personal citrus beverage is not to be ogled.


Noted riffs:
I don't know any. Please post some and I will add them here.

About this riff:
Release: Oct. 2008
Riffers: Tristan, Tracy
- Riffed while still in theaters; could get in free, saw it probably seven times in theaters
- Did most of the writing based on the movie's audio alone and memory
- Revised script in the week following the dvd release
- One of two full-length tracks to have only two riffers (we needed to get it out quickly and we work fastest with just the two of us)
- Beat Rifftrax to the release by a few days



Available on Netflix Instant? No.

Purchase: http://quiptracks.com/zencart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=7

Sample: <a href="http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v1/y1/r/Qyh5ph9cQ_M.swf?v=42060823857&amp;ev=0" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v1/y1/r/Qyh5ph9cQ_M.swf?v=42060823857&amp;ev=0</a>

[Darth Geek]

#27
One Man Band - Ice Pirates
(Total Points: 43    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #3 D.B. Barnes)

It is the future, and water is scarce and a valuable resource! Already this movie is irritating me by ripping off Tank Girl. Okay, okay, this different because it is iiiin spaaaace! And they locate a planet with lots of water (apparently in the form of Robert Van Winkle). Huh, must be located next to Planet X, home of the rare element Illudium Phosdex.

This movie is most known for: This is the only cheap Star Wars knockoff from the 80s, right?
       A castration scene played for laughs.
     

Noted riffs:
"Stop! I love her. I always have."
"Amontillado in-the-closet."
"The magic of reading!"
Vilanch credit off the bow
Amontillado in-the-closet
Summerstock!
The magic of reading!– (this is perfection)
Blazing Saddles
Zapruder film – (makes me laugh just thinking of it)



About this riff: SJP tells it best:
   Ice Pirates is an ol' nostalgia flick; yes, it's incredibly stupid, but I had seen it so many times as a kid that, despite its relative obscurity, I just wanted to do because it was there...like Everest, it had to be done, no matter what.  But besides that, because of a previous technical problem with sync lines, I used Ice Pirates as a test run for two new ideas: the PPD-3200, the slightly British and incorrigible onboard computer who could do syncing for me (which seemed to be working for pretty much everyone else), and Stupend-O, an idea I came up with to put skits into an audio-only track without throwing the film and timing into absolute chaos.  Oddly enough, I fixed my technical problem with the sync, and on every later track past this one, I've used my old method, and PPD has just become a sort of sidekick to crack wise with before, after, and on occasion, during the movie.  Sure, he's just me pitch-shifted doing a poor British accent, but the character has become so much fun to write for that it's hard to believe he started life merely as a solution to a problem I was having.  He's certainly been a lot more popular than Stupend-O itself, from what I understand, though I still do that process from time to time.


Available on Netflix Instant? No.

Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/one-man-band/ice-pirates-one-man-band

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdW8HpdsG0w

[Darth Geek]

#26
Spoony - After Last Season
(Total Points: 44    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #3 Compound)

Probably having the greatest profit margin of any movie ever made, this independant film is clearly made for pocket change and yet managed to earn 5 MILLION DOLLARS! *whisper whisper* Wait, WHAT?! It COST 5 million dollars?! That? HOW?!


This movie is most known for: Possibly not having a Wikipedia page.
            Supposedly costing 5 million dollars. Seriously, being aweful and supposedly costing 5 million dollars is ALL it's known for.


Noted riffs:
I don't know any. Please post some and I will add them here.

About this group: Spoony (Noah Antwiler) is an absolutely hilarious internet reviewer of video games and movies. The Spoony Experiment is his major internet show, but he has branched out into other things and cameos, mostly with other reviewers on That Guy With The Glasses, which he is affiliated. I am not familiar with his iRiffs, but everything else I have seen of his has been side-splittingly funny. He won the coveted "Funniest Person to Follow" award in the 2010 Open Web Awards.


Available on Netflix Instant? No.

Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/spoony-experiment-after-last-season

Sample: I couldn't find one.

[Darth Geek]

#25b
Quiptracks - Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
(Total Points: 45    Number of Lists: 4  Highest Ranking: #4 David)



Sci-fi of the far future as imagined by the 30s, if they had deviantArt. And no sense of shame. And geese planes. Starring the guy who electrified the screen in Gattaca.
Also stars: Angelina Jolie and her all adopted army! Lawrence Olivier, as what Dr. Forrester wishes he was. And Feebie's dumb brother as a scietific genius!


This movie is most known for: My constant complaining about Polly Perkins.
       The CGI backgrounds being far more interesting than the characters.
       The boost in sales of Milk of Magnesia.
       Having all digital sets and effects. The pain is analog.


Noted riffs:
"It's going to strike that massive sea cow!  Oh, the huge manatee!"
"Bi-Captain & The World of Tomorrow"
"HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!"
"We need to eject 110 pounds immediately!"


About this riff:
Release: June 2008
Riffers: Tristan, Tracy, Cody

- First seen by Tracy and Cody in a jr. high movie club
- Tracy gets beat up for incessant puns, a first for QuipTracks (There was one bit in The Lady In the Water redux, but that came later). Some people liked it, so we included more physical comedy in tracks for a while
- Lots of video game references

From the desk of Cody:
      In school, we had a Friday Movies Club where we watched movies on Fridays (go figure). This and the Forgotten were both featured during those fateful after school specials, and our fates were sealed. Not my favorite track, but I don’t hate it. It’s like a step son.

Available on Netflix Instant? Yes

Purchase: http://quiptracks.com/zencart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=5

Sample: I couldn't find one.

[Darth Geek]

#25a
Turkey Shoot - Fire! Patty Learns What to Do
(Total Points: 45    Number of Lists: 3  Highest Ranking: #8 Invader Quirk)


Pop quiz, hotshot! There is a FIRE. What do you do? What do you do?
Um...put it out? Maybe with water.
Oh. Yeah, I was thinking you'd say "get a rhino". Dammit.

Well, fortunately Patty is now smarter than Dennis Hopper here. And all because she listened to the all-knowing narrator (possibly God, possibly the goat) about how useless she is.


This movie is most known for: Being Fire Marshal Bill's favorite movie.
       Showing that whole towns can really work together and get something done. This lesson was used to full effect during the Communism Scare. Patty and her whole family were immediately rounded up.


Noted riffs:
"Hey, dolly, this is you: Boo hoo hoo!" "Shut up!"
"I was just showing them my hat, and they threw me in the thistles."


About this riff:
FIRE!Patty Learns What To Do - And DO she DOES! Wow! This was our first effort at ripping-off Mystery Science Theater 3000, in the same way that Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic do but less 'officially'. And I think we did pretty good mediocre job at that. Our young herione, Patty, recalls at a younger age the great fire that swept through the her local farmlands, putting herself and her family in some tepid state of distress. Reenactments rarely do their justice.  I was quite alarmed that by the end of this short Patty's big lesson was comprised pretty much of staying the hell out of every important person's way and petting a frightened goat which actually looked quite calm. A forecast of things to come for Mr. Zee.


Available on Netflix Instant? Unnecessary, it is a VOD.

Purchase: http://quiptracks.com/zencart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3&products_id=26

Sample: I couldn't find one.

[Darth Geek]

#24b
Quiptracks - Star Trek: Voyager "Eye of the Needle"
(Total Points: 47    Number of Lists: 3  Highest Ranking: #8 CJones)




I don't get the title. Isn't the whole Voyager series like a needle to the eyes?
Ok, so the captain sends a probe to got through a hole...wait, is this Janeway or Kirk?
The Romulans also are probing the hole, and...Ewwww! *checks wikipedia* Time travel...secret messages...Is this a sci-fi porno of The Lake House?


This movie is most known for: Neelix, the most unappealing cook this side of the Cafe Burf.


Noted riffs:
"Arms at maximum akimbosity!"
"A Room with a moose!"


About this riff:
     We got into the riffing daisy chain of Star Trek Voyager because we thought it would be good exposure, and because we were already fans of Ice On Mars, who were helming the project. It had been many years since any of us had seen the show, so we were not quite prepared for the slo-mo explosion of inane situations, lazy writing, and dopey characters that is Voyager. We picked (or were given, I don't remember) a great episode to do, though, (read: an episode without Neelix), and sci-fi is one of the richest genres to riff. Thus, this is one of my personal favorite QuipTracks. We gleefully lampooned the eternally akimbo Captain Janeway's hidden hair pie; the scrotum head of Lieutenant Torres (and her mother); the smug jackassery of self-proclaimed wormhole expert, Tom Paris; the endless pun opportunities of the nameless holographic doctor; and the unusually ethnic Vulcan, Tuvok. Bonus! Look for a special guest appearance by one of the Talking Heads!


Available on Netflix Instant? Yes

Purchase: http://quiptracks.com/zencart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=12
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/quiptracks/quiptracks-star-trek-voyager-ep-107-eye-needle

Sample: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=142023638857

[Darth Geek]

#24a
Quiptracks - Equilibrium
(Total Points: 47    Number of Lists: 4  Highest Ranking: #5 David)



In this movie, we learn that if you swirl your guns around in the maximum arc, and stand bolt upright while doing so, you will acheive the maximum of sillines! And if you rip off the most overused move in anime, you will acheive the maximum of cliche. Maximum!


This movie is most known for: Christian Bale being cool, just because he is Christian Bale.
           Sean Bean dies. I know, I didn't see it coming either.


Noted riffs:
"Here's your Melancholy Meal."


About this riff:
     Oh god, this movie... I sat, slack-jawed, staring at this pretentious, inane garbage while we watched it for the first time and felt like I did when watching Van Helsing—just...sad, mostly. However, we had enough good ad libs that we had to riff it (most notably the ridiculous death-bonking scene, which is just hilarious no matter how many times I see it). After we started to get into it, the movie was much easier to handle and became, for me, bad in a funny way. Equilibium was suggested to us by David Pinkston, I believe, who thought we would do a good job with it after having seen GATTACA.


Available on Netflix Instant? No.

Purchase: http://quiptracks.com/zencart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=35

Sample: <a href="http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v1/y1/r/Qyh5ph9cQ_M.swf?v=10150341988233858&amp;ev=0" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v1/y1/r/Qyh5ph9cQ_M.swf?v=10150341988233858&amp;ev=0</a>

[Darth Geek]

And thats it for tonight.

[SJP]

How in the world did I miss that there was already an Equilibrium riff?  I've needed a excuse to watch that...this just might be the push I needed.

And more Scott Zee to begin adding to the pile.  I already have the Scrooge one and Spooks Go Wild, but I think I may need to start completing the whole set.

[Invader_quirk]

And more Scott Zee to begin adding to the pile.  I already have the Scrooge one and Spooks Go Wild, but I think I may need to start completing the whole set.

Definitely. I'm glad Turkey Shoot's all over this list because I feel like Scott Zee is woefully under-appreciated. My favorite riffer, period. A Turkey Shoot riff is like no other and everybody reading this thread should check them out right away.

[Artie]

#26
Spoony - After Last Season
(Total Points: 44    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #3 Compound)

Hard (but not impossible) movie to acquire but well worth it.   That anyone could make that death-march of a film watchable is a miracle, but to make to make it incredibly funny as Spoony is doing the impossible.  Really wish he would do more riffs.   

[Darth Geek]

Oh, and speaking of Scott Zee, he was nice enough to make this for me:





Thanks, Scott!

I will be applying it to quite a few of the ones already posted tomorow.

[Coragale]

I don't get the title. Isn't the whole Voyager series like a needle to the eyes?

<===

[LucasM]

#25b
Quiptracks - Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Noted riffs:
"It's going to strike that massive sea cow!  Oh, the huge manatee!"

With my list, (and my vote for this iRiff), this was the quote I included.   

For this, taking place in an underwater chase sequence, a submerged ship precariously (and unrealistically) is perched when it originally sank so that it's two ends just HAPPENED to be on the tops of stalagmite-like protrusions from the ocean floor.  It was damaged, and collapsed.  The line occurs as it is collapsing, and - as one might guess - the latter 1/2 is said in the Hindenberg-announcer tones.

I think it is one of the cleverest bits of wordplay ever!  Certainly one of the funniest.  [Hell, I've seen the iRiff at least three times, and I'm still grinning just thinking about it while writing this.  ]  [[EDIT: I believe I'd just stepped out of my hyperbolic chamber when I wrote this... but seriously: that's some clever shit there!]]


DarthGeek: Polly Perkins pisses me off powerfully in parallel to your perturbability at her presence!

[Asbestos Bill]

How in the world did I miss that there was already an Equilibrium riff?  I've needed a excuse to watch that...this just might be the push I needed.

And more Scott Zee to begin adding to the pile.  I already have the Scrooge one and Spooks Go Wild, but I think I may need to start completing the whole set.

For a second, I thought you were going to say you had started a script for it. Did you ever release Dragonball?