Top 50 iRiffs

[mr.b.natural]

I'm mostly posting so this will show up in my "New Replies."  So far it's pretty much what I expected.  I figured the first ten would probably just go to Hor-riff-ic followed by the other standards like Cinester Theater.  I didn't make a list because I feel I haven't seen enough iriffs to be fair about it.  Naturally my favorites are Atomic Treatment and that hilarious Mr.B.Natural. 

[Darth Geek]

#47a
Animation Ripping Theater - Beauty and the Beast
(Total Points: 21    Number of Lists: 1  Highest Ranking: #5 LucasM)

Beastiality and Disney, what a perfect combination. 2D and 3D animation less so, but it was used sparingly and looked cool at the time. But more important than being a PSA on furries, this movie shows young impressionable audiences that it is important to let ANYONE in your home no matter what and no matter what time of night. Otherwise you will be cursed to look like an evil Bobo the bear. Come to think of it, I think this plot reminds me of part of Jack Frost when Ivan insulted the old mushroom man. I think this movie would have benefited greatly from more insane witches and spinning houses.

This movie is most known for: A dissapointing lack of Ron Perlman. Before Edward and Bella, this was the abusive relationship by which all others were judged. Talking animate furniture? Disney, you are ripping off PeeWee's Playhouse?!

Noted riffs:
"I wonder how many times he had to resist the urge to pick it up and say, 'who's the fairest one of all?'?"
(Belle singing: "...quiet village...") --- "It was until YOU started singing!"
(Belle's father starts the wood-chopping machine.) --- "The first automated axe murderer is born!"
" 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here'... can't be all bad!"
("Into the cabinet with your brothers and sisters." ) --- "Wow, Mrs. Potts must be Irish Catholic!"
("I've come to collect your father.") --- "...you're four payments behind."
(The Beast 'dies', then sparks start dropping out of the sky.)--- "Great!  And now skylab starts coming down on them!"
(The Beast is transformed and we first see his face as the prince.) --- "EW!  Looks like Fabio on a three-day bender!"

About the group: Another iRiff group I am unfamiliar with. But to riff a modern classic like this? That takes balls. ARTy balls.

Available on Netflix Instant? No.
Purchase:
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/art-beauty-and-beast
Sample:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_dEx4ECOdw

[Darth Geek]

#47b
Just Andrew - Classic Commercials 2
(Total Points: 21    Number of Lists: 1  Highest Ranking: #3 mattwnelson)

BUY STUFF! What, I already did that one? Ok, TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD BUY, OH HOLY TV!

This movie is most known for: Trying to empty your wallet.

Noted riffs:
Trojan Ultrathin

Available on Netflix Instant? Unnecessary, it is a VOD.
Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/just-andrew-classic-commercials-short
Sample: Couldn't find one.

[Darth Geek]

#47c
Fun With Flicks - Wasp Woman 
(Total Points: 21    Number of Lists: 1  Highest Ranking: #5 Compound)


Not realizing the benefits of stabbing men's pineal glands, an aging owner of a cosmetics company does the next best thing. She extracts enzyms from the species closestly related to humans: the wasp! Yes, white anglo saxon protestants may look like us, may even sound like us, but they apparently secrete a jelly like substance that can cure aging forever! The only antidote? Acid to the face, baby! Acid to the face.
 
This movie is most known for: Before Catwoman, this was the only evidence that all cosmetics companies are evil. Slightly aging women are all bitter and insane.

Noted riffs:
*sigh* Always when I am playing God they call.
"Boring?  You ain't seen nothing yet!  For Corman this is an action sequence!"
"Man, you REALLY need to change your air filter!"

Available on Netflix Instant? Unnecessary, it is a VOD.
 
Purchase: https://shop.joshway.com/magento/index.php/fun-with-flicks-the-wasp-woman-vod.html
 
Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZgH-mTXBvw

[Darth Geek]

Has now become #44b

[Darth Geek]

#46a
Riff Raff Theater - I, Robot
(Total Points: 22    Number of Lists: 3  Highest Ranking: #15 LucasM)


Who knew Isaac Asimov could predict future science so accurately that he knew it would actually be Apple products that eventually kill us all.
The 3 Laws of Robotics:
1. Will Smith is awesome, even when in crappy movies.
2. An emotionless robot will be given realistic facial motion.
3. Book adaptations almost always suck, even when in combination with rule #1.

This movie is most known for: Missing the point. Hitting the "uncanny valley" like an abusive redneck.

Noted riffs:
"Liquid Smurf pumped through every room in the house."
 "Now you've got a wet cat, that's even worse than a killer robot!"
"A robot arm!  THAT is why he's got that chip on his shoulder!" 
"That'll do pig." 
"He prefers 'Detective' or 'Officer'."

 
Available on Netflix Instant? No.
 
About the group: Another classic iRiff group. I have seen several of their riffs (all very good), just not this one. Riff Raff Theater is a group that does exclusively submitted script riffs. Every riff is open to anyone submitting a script, and the best are chosen. They are best known for running the Submission Rifftrax for Batman and Robin, written entirely by the fans, consolidated and organized by Riff Raff Theater, and performed by Mike, Kevin and Bill.
 
Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/riff-raff-theater/riff-raff-theater-i-robot
 
Sample: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1191790155044

[Darth Geek]

#46b
Fun With Flicks - The Monster Maker
(Total Points: 22    Number of Lists: 1  Highest Ranking: #4 Compound)


In 1944 a doctor decides there aren't enough monsters in the world. I repeat, 1944, when Nazis threatened the world, this doctor decides he needs to make MORE monsters. What did he get his doctorate in, vending machine repair?! I kid, I kid, vending machine repair is awesome. Acromegaly is not. It's a real disease (most famously for Rondo Hatton), and it's horrible, causing real pain and suffering. I'm pretty sure you can't just inject it like this movie does. But I am also sure you shouldn't make a B-movie monster flick treating a real disorder like science fiction.

This movie is most known for: Inventing the genre "acromeglsploitation" two years before The Brute Man.

Noted riffs:
I don't know any. Please post some and I will add them here.

Available on Netflix Instant? Unnecessary, it is a VOD.
 
Purchase: https://shop.joshway.com/magento/index.php/fun-with-flicks-the-monster-maker-vod.html
 
Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQF9-tHIpsM

[Darth Geek]

#46c
Ice on Mars - Star Trek: Voyager "Pilot"
(Total Points: 22    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #14 David)


You like Star Trek? Yeah! You like getting lost? Sure, who doesn't! You like woman captains so manly you feel kinda uncomfotable checking out her boobs, like she might have a penis tucked way back...okay, best not to think about it. You like Star Trek alien crew members? Sure, now we're talking! How about an alien cook so annoying you wonder "Gee, I miss Welsey Crusher."
 
 
This movie is most known for: Inspiring the creepiest moment in MST3K history, when Mike dresses up as Captain Janeway. *shudder*
                              7 of 9! Hey, she can eight me any time!

Noted riffs:
I don't know any. Please post some and I will add them here.
 
About the riff: I will let Michael T. Bradley fill in the details in his own (non legally binding to me) words.
This was our first outing and, like most of our early stuff, written by me. Riffed by myself and Jason Freston. I'd been working with Jason on a podcast at the time and asked if he'd be interested in doing this. Jason's a bigger Trek fan than me & therefore more personally hurt by Voyager, so he said sure. We ended up recording the first half of this about 9 times, I think. I kept being unhappy with the sound quality & trying different things. Plus about three or four run-throughs and you're talking a LOT of man hours put into this. There's a point almost at the halfway mark where you can see that we got a new mic. At the time I didn't know what I was doing when I was editing, so I think the new mic ended up sounding WORSE than the first half at some points, BUT I was trying my damndest. I'm still really proud that this holds up decently well. It's a little too full, I think, but overall I think it showcases our irreverence.
As a side note, the original intention was to just keep doing Voyager and only Voyager, but "Time and Again" nearly killed me, and when I tried to write the next ep, I just kept rewatching the teaser, and after like five passes my only line was "your hair is stupid" "/cries/" This is when I thought of inviting other groups in to do some episodes, and that worked out amazingly well for a variety of reasons. I think our strongest ep is "Learning Curve," and the strongest guest ep is QuipTracks' "Eye of the Needle." I think it's "Ex Post Facto" where our sexual amorality really starts to shine through. I remember at the time I was like, NO! WE HAVE TO KEEP THE RATING APPROXIMATELY THE SAME AS THE SOURCE MATERIAL! So I was going for TV-PG or so, and I had some line about, like, 'then he beat my face until it was bloody & forced me to orally pleasure him,' and I thought, 'well, since I didn't say blowjob, this is TV-PG.'
 
Available on Netflix Instant? Yes
 
Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/ice-mars/star-trek-voyager-caretaker
 
Sample: Couldn't find one.

[Darth Geek]

#45a
Ronin Fox Trax - Pearl of the Orient
(Total Points: 23    Number of Lists: 1  Highest Ranking: #3 Anais.whatever)



Did you know that Coca Cola has sugar in it? Did you know that sugar is white, and was farmed in foriegn countries with virtually no labor laws? You did? Will maybe you don't need to see this film. But for the rest of you, enjoy. The narrator never shuts the hell up. No matter how much you beg and plead.

This movie is most known for: Spreading diabetes and caffeine addiction.

Noted riffs:
"Wait, they put sugar in soda? I've never heard of that. And where do they grow their High Fructose Corn Syrup?"
The natural juice of the cane. --- "Is mixed with the sweat of these guys."

About the riff: This is one of the few Ronin Fox Trax I haven't checked out yet, so I will let him talk about it:
    I came across Pearl of the Orient while clicking randomly through archive.org, hoping I would find a short dumb enough to mock.  My prayers were answered.  I almost passed on it when I watched a few minutes of tribal dancing, but when the narrator kicked in and I realized it was a giant vehicle to pimp Coca-Cola production I knew I had to have it.  While this is the only real short I've done, and one of the very rare occasions when I riff solo, this was for a long time my second biggest seller behind Star Trek.  It was also a bit of an endurance trial for me, as it goes on for twenty minutes and I constantly had to think of new ways to mock the same thing.  In the end, it all comes down to one thing, Coca-Cola is the refreshing drink of highest quality, and thus is your god.

Available on Netflix Instant? Unnecessary, it is a VOD.
 
Purchase: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM6R2vT796E
 
Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM6R2vT796E&list=UUpHOb6Z2q_DzGoTGDtI8RyQ&index=19&feature=plcp

[Darth Geek]

#45b
JK-47 - Linda's Film on Menstruation
(Total Points: 23    Number of Lists: 1  Highest Ranking: #3 LucasM)

Ladies, remember when your uterus just decided one day it was in a Peckinpaw film? Yeah, it's about that.
 

This movie is most known for: Making strong men weak in the knees simply by mentioning it's subject matter.
                              After watching this film, NSFW stands for No Sex For Weeks.

Noted riffs:
(This pad has a pad within a pad for extra absorbency.) --- "...and then there's a pad inside that pad, which also has another pad inside of it: we call it the Sanitary Mandelbrot."
 
About the group: Hey, another female riffer! A surprisingly uncommon thing, but very welcome given the subject matter. I haven't seen this iRiff, and this is the only one from this group. And as far as I know, they may be disbanded.
 
Available on Netflix Instant? Unnecessary, it is a VOD.
 
Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/hi-im-jk-and-is-my-iriff-lindas-film-menstruation
 
Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXBk7ThyaAY

[Darth Geek]

#45c
Hor-Riff-ic Productions - Sleepaway Camp
(Total Points: 23    Number of Lists: 2  Highest Ranking: #9 Artie)


A deep study on the social and psychological implications of the gender roles in modern society. And how they relate to adolescent developement, emotional connection to peers, and improper use of cutlery.
 
 
This movie is most known for: The most memorable 80s bush since that revival of Hair: The Musical starring Pam Grier and Tom Selleck.

Noted riffs:
It's been a while since I've seen this one. Please post some and I will add them here.
 

About the riff: It's been a while, so why don't we let Gary Slasher, the resident slasher of Hor-riff-ic Productions fill us in:
     Definitely one of Erin’s favorite tracks and movies.  I was stoked to take on this infamous movie not even realizing how many had never heard of it and it’s, how should we say, PENIS! Oops. The amazing amount of foul language that came out of these kids’ mouths was really something and was great to riff on. And of course the extremely disturbing Aunt/Mom at the beginning was just jaw dropping, so much so I was often left just staring at the screen yelling MEL SMASH!!!

Available on Netflix Instant? No.
 
Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/hor-riff-ic-productions/hor-riff-ic-sleepaway-camp
 
Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mil4HuhHUwM

[Darth Geek]

#45d
FilmRoasters - Zardoz
(Total Points: 23    Number of Lists: 3  Highest Ranking: #8 Artie)


Sean Connery just wanted to wear his red battle panties and bandolier to set one day, so they built a movie around it. We are told repeatedly that the gun is good, and the penis is evil. But there is so much fan service nudity in this flick, I get distracted.

This movie is most known for: *300 style yelling* THIS! IS! ZARDOZ!!!!! *kicks in pit*

Noted riffs:
(brief shot of a topless woman riding a horse) --- "Just seein' if you were paying attention."
About the group: ANother group I haven't checked out yet. I will have to gird my loins before I trespass into Zardoz, though. Even with riffing, yowza! Apparently this group has been operating for  number of years, and seems to do a lot of live riffing. I am not sure if the iRiff sold is from a studio recording, or a live performance with audience.
 
Available on Netflix Instant? No.
 
Purchase: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/filmroasters/filmroasters-zardoz
 
Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4KQg2P5bzg

[Darth Geek]

Okay, thats it for another day. 11 more posts, and 3 more numbers down. This...will take a while...

[ScottotD]

thanks

*Karma*

[SJP]

All this just makes me more anticipatory for the top ten...and how many #1s there are.   

But I'm dead serious...I am actually amazed at not only how many ties there are, but which ones placed consistently high across all the lists.  I see a couple of highest places at #2 and #3 (including one I picked at #2), so from here on out it's really going to get interesting.