LOC- The 50 Most Requested Rifftrax of 2012

[Compound]

And, despite our second entry from yesterday still not being there (Seriously, someone unflag that as spam please.), here's our latest guest entry from a familiar face and a man of few words:

El Mariachi (prequel to "Desperado" & "Once Upon a Time in Mexico", minus the budget and star power.)

Halloween (2007 remake where Rob Zombie gets into the head of a mute guy that likes to stab people.)

The Butterfly Effect (Aston Kutcher tries to be serious.)

Labyrinth (Starring David Bowie's camel toe as itself.)

Fright Night (Either the 1985 version or the 2011 version would be great)

That's two guest list votes for Labyrinth, BTW. And, of course, you can check out Rikk's work here and at ICWXP.com

[Russell]

18. Cowboys & Aliens - (2011) - 49 points
(3 of 17 lists. Highest ranking - #2 Monty)

Directed by Jon Favreau
Starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford and Olivia Wilde

I have said this before, but I'm gonna say it again... this movie sucks the shit ring off my toilet bowl.

[D.B. Barnes]

Aw, Compound didn't even acknowledge the callback to his own joke. 

[Pak-Man]

Man. I think I forgot about Cowboys and Aliens (Forgot to save my list to be sure, though.) I enjoyed it, but it wasn't even close to being a smart movie. Also they REALLY need to do GI Joe. There's so much riffable stupid fun in that movie. :^)

[stansimpson]

Still lovin' the guest choices. And, yes, I really wanna see Green Lantern get riffed. I mean, c'mon, it was dumb, goofy, superhero fun. What's not to riff? Anyone know why the guys were so dismissive of it at last year's ComicCon panel?

[LucasM]

GINO has fallen.  i still think that would be a good older(compared to most rifftrax) film to do since there are about ten billion copies of the dvd floating around. 

keep the giant claw movement going!

Just in case you didn't know, Quiptracks has done a riff of the American version of Godzilla. It's pretty darn good.

Agreed!

Agreed here, as well.  It actually has one of the funniest lines I've ever heard in any riffing in it: not-really-Godzilla jumps onto the Brooklyn Bridge and it doesn't collapse from the weight.  The comment is, "must be a suspension-of-disbelief bridge!"     [See the quote in my sig: this is a perfect example of such a thing.]

[Watchman]

37. Con Air - (1997) - 32 points
(2 of 17 lists. Highest ranking - #1 DB Barnes)

This movie is ridiculous on so many levels. In terms of riffing potential, this is what you would call extremely target-rich. Between the lame plot, cheesy one-liners,  and over-the-top characters/performances, this pile is just  begging to be riffed. Who else voted for it?

I should've.

If you want to read something bizarrely contrarian, some writer at AV Club passionately defends this movie:

Question: What movie have you spent the most time arguing about?
A: Con Air is an incredibly entertaining movie on pretty much every level... I see a director (Simon West) and producer (Jerry Bruckheimer, of course) who took all the conventions of bad action movies and added a great cast (Nicolas Cage in the role he was born to play, Steve Buscemi, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Ving Rhames, Danny Trejo, Dave Chappelle) and a sense of hilarity to the whole thing. Con Air is an action movie that winks if you want it to and plays it straight if that's what you're after. To me, it's hilarious on purpose, and also just plain fun, in that blow-'em-up way. If you can defend Face/Off (as some do), you should certainly give Con Air another shake. Or three. (Josh Modell)
(http://www.avclub.com/articles/avqa-movie-arguments,2524/)

Can't quite swallow that.

Now, regarding "self-awareness":

You could make the same argument for Flash Gordon and Starship Troopers, and I'm sure there will several others before this list is done. Besides, there's plenty of that talk over in the Suggest-a-Trax thread.

Starship Troopers is more than merely self-aware, though. It's a vicious satire. It's a futuristic military propaganda video. How much more self-aware can you get when your entire movie has the deliberate style & mannerisms of a military propaganda video?! And there's a reason the citizens of Buenos Aires are pretty much Aryan-esque models. What's next, riffing Dr Strangelove & Network? (Not saying Starship Troopers is on a quality level near Dr Strangelove, but... there are people who fail to realize that Strangelove is a comedy. More and more...)

Sorry, it's just... bizarre to me, the idea of riffing something that's a completely different picture than what the riffers saw. Shall we riff Network because "the acting is over the top"? Riff Wag the Dog because "the filmmakers can't even get the phrase 'wag the tail' right"?

I may have said it once, in which case I'll say it again: If you're gonna pick a Paul Verhoeven sci-fi/action film for riffing, I think Hollow Man is by far his worst, lacking in wit or even the usual tactile ultraviolence.

[anais.jude]

I totally voted for Con Air. It's a guilty pleasure of mine

[Compound]

Okay, here's our last guest post, who was supposed to appear on Wednesday.

1. Mazes and Monsters (1982): The classic TV movie/cautionary tale in which Tom Hanks is driven mad by the seductive pull of tabletop gaming.  But in an interesting way, not in the way where you wear T-shirts based on Internet memes and tell everyone about your character.

2. Legend (1985): Sometimes not even the can't-miss combination of Ridley Scott's direction and Tim Curry in a big red devil suit can save a film.  I don't understand it either.

3. Rocky IV (1985): Yes, it's great that Rocky defeats Communism.  But in the cold, hard light of day, we have to face the fact that a franchise that was initially a gritty Rust Belt underdog story had, by the fourth movie, morphed into a thing where it seems reasonable for Paulie to own a robot butler.  And by "butler" I of course mean "prostitute."

4. Under the Cherry Moon (1986): I debated for many fraught hours over which failed musical pop-star vehicle to request: "Cool as Ice" or "Under the Cherry Moon"?  In the end, I couldn't say no to Prince, let alone Prince as a Jazz Age gigolo whose seduction technique consists of sarcastically insulting women.  And it's in black-and-white, so you know it's classy.  But still, "Cool as Ice" is pretty boss.

5. Masters of the Universe (1987): Do not fear "Masters of the Universe"!  The combination of Dolph Lundgren as He-Man, Frank Langella as Skeletor, a plot about the power of music, and plenty of mid-budget pre-CGI special effects makes this a tasty block of cheese.  Teela is pretty badass here, unlike in the cartoon where she spends all her time getting kidnapped and teaching Orko not to eat the drug berries.

6. Super Mario Brothers (1993): This is not the worst film I've ever seen in the theater.  The worst film I've ever seen in the theater is "Nine Months," starring Hugh Grant.  This is the second worst.

7. Love Stinks (1999): Comedies are notoriously hard to riff.  That said, what we have here is an attempt to promote French Stewart, a.k.a. the squinty guy from "Third Rock from the Sun," as a romantic leading man.  Also, it's incredibly misogynistic, like "Wicker Man" misogynistic.  Also, it's written and directed by the creator of "Full House."  Also, wow.

8. Punisher: War Zone (2008): The greatest of all the Punishers.  In the opening, the Punisher kills an entire room of gang bosses, each in a different creative way, then jumps on the ceiling and spins around on a ceiling fan spraying bullets.  Wayne Knight is Micro.  There's a thing with a parkour guy and a grenade launcher.  The magic of the movies.
(Editor: This is a completely unsurprising choice, BTW.  http://skin-horse.com/comics/2011-09-07Mitchell_pounced.jpg )

9, The Spirit (2008): There is no way I can physically make it through this film without people in the TV insulting it for me.  I'm coming to you for help.

10. Atlas Shrugged: Part I (2011): This is going to happen, right?

Shaenon, aside from writing and drawing "Narbonic", a story of mad science, gerbils and forensic linguistics and "Skin Horse", covering government bureaucracy, transvestites and psychoanalyzing lions, also writes "Smithson" and has also worked at Viz and written several stories for Marvel Comics. Which involved the Mole Man, but that still counts.

[Compound]

Okay, it's noon Pacific time and here's our last 10 entries, one every 15 minutes!

[Compound]

10. X-Men Origins Wolverine - (2009) - 71 points
(5 of 17 lists. Highest ranking - #4 Stan Simpson)
   
Directed by Gavin Hood
Starring Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber and Danny Huston

Place on 11's list: #27
Place on 10's list: #25
Place on 09's list: N/A
Place on 08's list: N/A
Last year's #10: Iron Man 2 - (2010)

Synopsis:
"Two mutant brothers, Logan and Victor, born 200 years ago, suffer childhood trauma and have only each other to depend on. Basically, they're fighters and killers, living from war to war through U.S. history. In modern times, a U.S. colonel, Stryker, recruits them and other mutants as commandos. Logan quits and becomes a logger, falling in love with a local teacher. When Logan refuses to rejoin Stryker's crew, the colonel sends the murderous Victor. Logan now wants revenge."

Up Next:
It's been mentioned before, and now it's here.

[Compound]

9. Star Trek The Motion Picture - (1985) - 78 points
(5 of 17 lists. Highest ranking - #3 Anais)
   
Directed by Robert Wise
Starring William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and DeForest Kelly

Place on 11's list: #22
Place on 10's list: N/A
Place on 09's list: N/A
Place on 08's list: #48
Last year's #9: Dune - (1984)

Synopsis:
"An alien phenomenon of unprecedented size and power is approaching Earth, destroying everything in its path. The only starship in range is the U.S.S. Enterprise--still in drydock after a major overhaul. As Captain Decker readies his ship and his crew to face this menace, the legendary Admiral James T. Kirk arrives with orders to take command of the Enterprise and intercept the intruder. But it has been three years since Kirk last commanded the Enterprise on its historic five year mission...is he up to the task of saving the Earth?"

Up Next:
Didn't The Dungeon Master have the same plot?

[Compound]

8. Tron Legacy - (2010) - 78 points
(5 of 17 lists. Highest ranking - #3 Artie)
   
Directed by Joseph Kosinski   
Starring Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde and Garrett Hedlund

Place on 11's list: #14
Place on 10's list: N/A
Place on 09's list: N/A
Place on 08's list: N/A
Last year's #8: The Wizard - (1989)

Synopsis:
"After being transported into the surreal landscape of a mainframe computer to destroy an intruder, a programmer finds himself allied with the leader of a rebellion against a corrupt cyber-entity. It all started when Sam Flynn, the tech-savvy 27-year-old son of Kevin Flynn, looks into his father’s disappearance and finds himself pulled into the same world of fierce programs and gladiatorial games where his father has been living for 25 years. Along with Kevin’s loyal confidant, father and son embark on a life-and-death journey across a cyber universe that has become far more advanced and exceedingly dangerous."

Up Next:
Mass Solar's worst nightmare.

[Compound]

7. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace - (1986) - 79 points
(5 of 17 lists. Highest ranking - #1 Doc Smith)
   
Directed by Sidney J. Furie
Starring Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman and Jackie Cooper

Place on 11's list: #4
Place on 10's list: #20
Place on 09's list: #38
Place on 08's list: #7
Last year's #7: Rocky IV - (1986)

Synopsis:
"Superman does a lot in his newest adventure. Archvillain Lex Luthor, determined to make the world safe for nuclear arms merchants, creates a new being to challenge the Man of Steel: the radiation-charged Nuclear Man. The two super-powered foes clash in an explosive screen extravaganza that sees Superman save the Statue of Liberty, repulse a volcanic eruption of Mount Etna, rebuild the demolished Great Wall of China and perform many more spectacular feats."

Up Next:
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

[Compound]

6. Iron Man 2 - (2010) - 81 points
(5 of 17 lists. Highest ranking - #6 DB Barnes and Candle Jack)
   
Directed by Jon Favreau
Starring Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle and Gwyneth Paltrow

Place on 11's list: #10
Place on 10's list: N/A
Place on 09's list: N/A
Place on 08's list: N/A
Last year's #6: G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra - (2009)

Synopsis:
"With the world now aware of his dual life as the armored superhero Iron Man, billionaire inventor Tony Stark faces pressure from the government, the press, and the public to share his technology with the military. Unwilling to let go of his invention, Stark, along with Pepper Potts, and James "Rhodey" Rhodes at his side, must forge new alliances - and confront powerful enemies."

Up Next:
Meh. None of them can beat River Tam.