The Rest of the Best

[ColeStratton]

"Mr. Burton, you are really starting to piss me off!!!!"

DAVID LO PAN



Lo Pan is the baddie in John Carpenter's Big Trouble in Little China, played marvelously by James Hong. If you've never seen it, you must rent it immediately.

"MARBLES!!!!!!! I'M SO HUNGRY HUNGRY!!!"



HIPPOPATAMUSESUSUSES!

These semi-aquatic beasts are fiercely territorial and are responsible for more deaths in Africa than any other animal, often attacking with no provocation. They only eat marbles and often organize raids on Milton Bradley and Parker Brothers factories to stock up on provisions.

[Johnny Unusual]

Hippos.  Deadly, yet adorable.



Also, if you grew up in Canada in the 90's, you saw this ad.  And you so wanted this to be real.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/NBfi8OEz0rA" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/NBfi8OEz0rA</a>

Speaking of awesome PSAs that sort of undercut their message with awesomeness.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/0GN9dANKe_Y" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/0GN9dANKe_Y</a>

They tried to make a sequel 15 years later, but it was really weak, with bad CGI and such.  I should have made Astar my choice for top robot!

[D.B. Barnes]

SIG CODE:

Code: [Select]

<a href="http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,22253.0.html">[img]http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/9551/bannerzrd.jpg[/img]</a>
If you have an idea for something else, let me know.

[Johnny Unusual]

Ooooo.  Completely awesome SIG.  I'll be sure to be wearing it soon.

[goflyblind]

the kakapo


the galapagos tortoise

[D.B. Barnes]

L.O.C. #11 - Top Animals

Llama

[

Thoughts
I just think they're cool.

The Wiki
The llama (Lama glama) is a South American camelid, widely used as a pack and meat animal by Andean cultures since pre-hispanic times. The height of a full-grown, full-size llama is between 1.7 meters (5.5 ft) and 1.8 meters (6 ft) tall at the top of the head. They can weigh between approximately 130 kilograms (280 lb) and 200 kilograms (450 lb). At birth, a baby llama (called a cria) can weigh between 9.1 kilograms (20 lb) and 14 kilograms (30 lb). Llamas are very social animals and like to live with other llamas as a herd. Overall, the fiber produced by a llama is very soft and is naturally lanolin free. Llamas are intelligent and can learn simple tasks after a few repetitions. When using a pack, llamas can carry about 25% to 30% of their body weight for several miles.

Llamas appear to have originated from the central plains of North America about 40 million years ago. They migrated to South America about 3 million years ago. By the end of the last ice age (10,000–12,000 years ago) camelids were extinct in North America. As of 2007, there were over 7 million llamas and alpacas in South America and, due to importation from South America in the late 20th century, there are now over 158,000 llamas and 100,000 alpacas in the US and Canada.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/7FZHfYbcLRU?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/7FZHfYbcLRU?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/i2YEkfpNjkA?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/i2YEkfpNjkA?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US</a>

[MontyServo]

LoC Rest of the Best - Day 11 - Top Animals

I don't really have a top animal, in fact I don't think I submitted a list for this LoC when it first came around.  So I picked one that I love... to eat!

Shrimp

The Wiki:
Shrimp are swimming, decapod crustaceans classified in the infraorder Caridea, found widely around the world in both fresh and salt water. Adult shrimp are filter feeding benthic animals living close to the bottom. They can live in schools and can swim rapidly backwards. Shrimp are an important food source for larger animals from fish to whales. They have a high tolerance to toxins in polluted areas, and may contribute to high toxin levels in their predators. Together with prawns, shrimp are widely caught and farmed for human consumption.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/tIeHS0B610c?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US&amp;amp;rel=0" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/tIeHS0B610c?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US&amp;amp;rel=0</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/ycNuLjs1hJw?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US&amp;amp;rel=0" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/ycNuLjs1hJw?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US&amp;amp;rel=0</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

OK, I'm wearing the sig and it's cool, but what can we do for more variety.  That way we have at least another sig so not everyone is using the same one?

I have an idea for a different but much less cool looking one: a collage of the lists from the master list of crap with a similar message about adding the greats that didn't make the original.

And thanks so much for the cool signature (maybe I should write the whole word.  I have the time) DB.  It gives the proceedings an air of authenticity.

[D.B. Barnes]

OK, I'm wearing the sig and it's cool, but what can we do for more variety.  That way we have at least another sig so not everyone is using the same one?

I have an idea for a different but much less cool looking one: a collage of the lists from the master list of crap with a similar message about adding the greats that didn't make the original.

And thanks so much for the cool signature (maybe I should write the whole word.  I have the time) DB.  It gives the proceedings an air of authenticity.

Don't mention it. Wear it in good health.

I cooked up a couple more for the sake of variety. I don't think they're as good as the first one, but the first one is always the best one. Kinda like the first bite of a sundae.



SIG CODE:

Code: [Select]

<a href="http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,22253.0.html">[img]http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/1104/bannerkhc.jpg[/img]</a>



SIG CODE:

Code: [Select]

<a href="http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,22253.0.html">[img]http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/2552/banner2dh.jpg[/img]</a>

[D.B. Barnes]

Geckos
Geckos rule. In addition to being the coolest lizards on the planet, they're also wildly successful car insurance pitchmen. "Many species will, in defense, expel a foul-smelling material and feces onto their aggressors." When is that going to show up in a Geico commercial?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/sag8Q1tuPrA?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/sag8Q1tuPrA?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US</a>


HIPPOPATAMUSESUSUSES
Wow. I had no idea hippos were such dicks. Come to think of it, those teeth are pretty fucking scary. Hippos: Viscious Grass-Grazing Killers


the kakapo
Great bird name. Wow, there are only 131 of these in existence. That blows.



"Um, can I help you?"


Shrimp
"I love shrimp. I'm a shrimp eater!"

Seriously, I could eat a mountain of shrimp. A shrimp mountain.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/0KmTTy_MM5w?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/0KmTTy_MM5w?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

Good work Barnes.  Those are some sweet signatures.

Today’s topic: Top Simpsons episodes.  Here’s the original list.

#50: Treehouse of Horror XV
#49: Hurricane Neddy
#48: Treehouse of Horror XIV
#47: Mother Simpson
#46: Who Shot Mr. Burns Part 1
#45: Colonel Homer
#44: A Milhouse Divided
#43: Brother from the Same Planet
#42: A Streetcar Named Marge
#41: And Maggie Makes Three
#40: Behind the Laughter
#39: Whacking Day
#38: Missionary Impossible
#37: Last Exit to Springfield
#36: Itchy & Scratchy & Marge
#35: Treehouse of Horror II
#34: Homer to the Max
#33: Bart of Darkness
#29: Treehouse of Horror III
#28: Treehouse of Horror
#27: Treehouse of Horror VII
#26: Homer the Vigilante
#25: A Fish Called Selma
#24: Treehouse of Horror VI
#23: Who Shot Mr. Burns Part Two
#22: Homer's Barbershop Quartet
#21: Itchy & Scratchy Land
#20: Homer Badman
#19: Homer the Smithers
#18: King-Sized Homer
#17: El Viaje Mysterioso de Nuestro Jomer
#16: Treehouse of Horror IV
#15: Simpsonclifragilisticexpiala(annoye grunt)cious
#14: Homer Vs. the Eighteenth Amendment
#13: The Springfield Files
#12: Deep Space Homer
#11: Treehouse of Horror V
#10: Homer Goes to College
#9: Mr. Plow
#8: A Lemon of Troy
#7: 22 Short Films About Springfield
#6: Homer the Great
#5: Homer�s Enemy
#4: Marge Vs. the Monorail
#3: Homer at the Bat
#2: Cape Feare
#1: You Only Move Twice

[Johnny Unusual]

 

LoC Rest of the Best - Day 12 - Top Simpsons Episodes

The Boy Who Knew Too Much

   
"The Boy Who Knew Too Much" is the twentieth episode of The Simpsons' fifth season. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on May 5, 1994. In the episode, Bart runs away from a pursuing Principal Skinner after attempting to skip school. During part of his escape, he witnesses an event in which Freddy Quimby, the spoiled nephew of Mayor Quimby, is accused of beating up a French waiter. Though the entire town believes that Freddy is guilty, Bart witnessed something else. At the trial, Bart testifies for Freddy, claiming that the waiter simply hurt himself because he was clumsy. Though attempting to deny the allegations, the waiter proves the truth in Bart's words by falling out the window.
The episode was written by John Swartzwelder and directed by Jeffrey Lynch.
Thoughts – I’ll be honest, there’s not much more to say that it is a damned funny episode from the golden age that people somehow forgot about. Among the best bits: “To the Crime Lab!”, Skinner being a non-giving up school guy, the clumsy waiter, McGarnagle (I wish they did more McGarnagle sketches and of course, the great jokes they cut out of syndication.  “Now you’re the bad cop!  HAHAHAHAHA!”

Watch the entire episode on this crazy foreign site that neither knows law nor respect to copyright:

http://smotri.com/video/view/?id=v105407756dd

Great quotes:


Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad, crummy guy who's going to jail, but I know he's innocent?
Marge: Well Bart, your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying: "Shoot 'em all and let God sort them out." Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 Federal Marshals to bring him down. Now let's never speak of this again.
Bart: Mom, what if I can get this guy off the hook? Should I do it?
Marge: Honey, you should listen to your heart... and not the voices in your head, like a certain uncle did one gray December morn.
Chief Wiggum: Oh my god, somebody took a bite out of the giant rice krispy square. Oh, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.

McGarnagle: Now tell them what you saw Billy.
Billy: But I'm so scared McGarnagle.
McGarnagle: You've gotta do this one for me Billy, McGarnagle.
Billy: Okay for you McGarnagle.
Chief: [later] Well McGarnagle, Billy is dead! They slit his throat from ear to ear.
McGarnagle: Hey I'm trying to eat lunch here!

Homer: What does "sequestered mean"?
Principal Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked, they're put up in a hotel so that they cant communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Principal Skinner: It's when the jury cant agree on a verdict.
Homer: And "if"?
Principal Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition of".
Homer: So "if" we get "deadlocked", we'll be "sequestered" at the Springfield Palace Hotel. Where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO. Ooh. Free Willy.

[goflyblind]

i hope i can sneak this in here, 'cause i forgot it in my post yesterday:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/9T1vfsHYiKY?fs=1" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/9T1vfsHYiKY?fs=1</a>

[D.B. Barnes]

L.O.C. #12 - Top Simpsons Episodes

Bart Sells His Soul

Thoughts
Really surprised this didn't make the list. Everything about this episode is great. The opening church song prank, Uncle Moe's, the termite infestation at Milhouse's, Bart's ultra-creepy midnight ride. Not only is this episode incredibly funny, it's also pretty touching. It's just a perfect episode.

The Wiki
"Bart Sells His Soul" is the fourth episode of The Simpsons' seventh season. It first aired on October 8, 1995. In the episode, Bart pranks churchgoers by replacing the music to a hymn with a psychedelic rock song, so Reverend Lovejoy forces him and Milhouse to clean the church's organ's pipes. Bart then sells his soul to Milhouse for $5 in the form of a piece of paper with "Bart Simpson's soul" written on it. Lisa tells Bart he will regret this decision, and Bart soon witnesses odd changes. After attempting to track down the piece of paper, Bart ultimately gets it back.

"Bart Sells His Soul" was written by Greg Daniels, who was inspired by an experience from his youth where he had purchased a bully's soul. Director Wesley Archer and his team of animators visited Chili's for examples to use in Moe's family restaurant. The episode includes cultural references to the song "In a Gadda Da Vida", by Iron Butterfly, Chilean poet Pablo Neruda, and a parody of the book Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret., by Judy Blume. Writers from the fields of religion, philosophy, popular culture, and psychology cited the episode in books discussing The Simpsons and the show's approach to the nature of the soul. The episode was positively received by the media, and is regarded as one of the seventh season's and the series' best.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/-CCbnpMCdds?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/-CCbnpMCdds?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/CPIeTzils7E?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/CPIeTzils7E?version=3&amp;amp;hl=en_US</a>

[Johnny Unusual]

Man, you are good with the signatures DB.  Thanks a lots of a ton.