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Author Topic: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes AVAILABLE NOW!  (Read 288 times)

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Offline Quirk

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QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes AVAILABLE NOW!
« on: December 14, 2017, 07:03:02 AM »
QuipTracks
VS

The Christmas Shoes
GET IT NOW

It's safe to say the only thing that should ever be based on Newsong's insufferable "The Christmas Shoes" is a class-action lawsuit. Despite this, in 2002 CBS decided it would try to top the previous year's saddest television event, 9/11, by adapting the most quickly turned-off song on the radio into the most quickly turned-off movie on TV.

Rob Lowe lets his acting muscles atrophy as the guy that was "not really in the Christmas mood" who helps a young boy buy a pair of shoes for his dying mother. Why wasn't he in that mood, though? And how sad, exactly, is a dying mother? The answers to these questions were glaringly omitted from the song, and the movie addresses the issue by devoting an hour and a half to establishing this crucial context. CBS's The Christmas Shoes delivers more schmaltz, empties more tissue boxes, and kills more characters than the song's format ever allowed. And if it's the case that the more sadness something elicits, the more meaningful and heartwarming it is, The Christmas Shoes is more meaningful and heartwarming than a stillborn bunny rabbit.

Looking for the movie?
You don't need to rifle through bargain bins for the DVD; you can get it from us right now, in a custom QuipTracks case, no less!


Cases for other QuipTracks are coming in the new year, so you can finally properly display your collection on your shelf.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2017, 05:17:44 PM by Quirk »
Travel back to a time when wenches were simple, ones were dark, and kings greeted you with a smile. IN THE NAME OF THE KING 2 NOW AVAILABLE from QuipTracks!


Offline The Lurker

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes COMING CHRISTMAS EVE
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2017, 07:06:04 AM »
Any chance for a sample?


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes COMING CHRISTMAS EVE
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2017, 07:11:00 AM »
AWESOME!
« Last Edit: December 15, 2017, 06:48:59 AM by Darth Geek »



Offline Quirk

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes COMING CHRISTMAS EVE
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2017, 07:37:43 AM »
Any chance for a sample?

I would love to do that, and I will try, but our schedule is insanely tight to get this out on time. I will try to make it happen, though.
Travel back to a time when wenches were simple, ones were dark, and kings greeted you with a smile. IN THE NAME OF THE KING 2 NOW AVAILABLE from QuipTracks!


Offline fireyf

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes COMING CHRISTMAS EVE
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2017, 11:21:02 AM »
The link isn't working.  When I copy link location I get this http://"https://orderoftheleague.com/collections/dvds/products/the-christmas-shoes-dvd" on the clipboard.


Offline Quirk

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes COMING CHRISTMAS EVE
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2017, 11:42:25 AM »
The link isn't working.  When I copy link location I get this http://"https://orderoftheleague.com/collections/dvds/products/the-christmas-shoes-dvd" on the clipboard.

Fixed. Sorry about that.
Travel back to a time when wenches were simple, ones were dark, and kings greeted you with a smile. IN THE NAME OF THE KING 2 NOW AVAILABLE from QuipTracks!


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes COMING CHRISTMAS EVE
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2017, 06:50:03 AM »
I did notice a little while ago that your profile pic had changed, and I was trying to figure out which of your riffs that was for.



Offline Quirk

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes COMING CHRISTMAS EVE
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2017, 11:32:43 AM »
Travel back to a time when wenches were simple, ones were dark, and kings greeted you with a smile. IN THE NAME OF THE KING 2 NOW AVAILABLE from QuipTracks!


Offline Quirk

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes COMING CHRISTMAS EVE
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2017, 08:15:04 AM »
Travel back to a time when wenches were simple, ones were dark, and kings greeted you with a smile. IN THE NAME OF THE KING 2 NOW AVAILABLE from QuipTracks!


Offline Quirk

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes AVAILABLE NOW!
« Reply #9 on: December 24, 2017, 05:18:21 PM »
Travel back to a time when wenches were simple, ones were dark, and kings greeted you with a smile. IN THE NAME OF THE KING 2 NOW AVAILABLE from QuipTracks!


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: QuipTracks VS The Christmas Shoes AVAILABLE NOW!
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2017, 07:57:16 PM »
Excellent riff! I particularly liked the running gag about people leaving their doors open, as I probably wouldn't have even noticed that.

This movie is...yeesh! It puts the "all" in Hallmark. As in ALL the cliches, ALL the saccharin, and ALL the doors left open.

Rob Lowe's character is vilified for working too much. Which he does only to provide for his family. And he is also vilified for trying to get his wife, a college educated woman who used to have a career, to get a job to help provide for the family so he won't have to work too much.

The only plus I can say for this movie is that it doesn't actually play the whole Christmas Shoes song in it.