Author Topic: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons  (Read 47628 times)

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Offline ColeStratton

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #135 on: May 07, 2011, 01:09:56 AM »
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Offline Compound

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #136 on: May 07, 2011, 01:52:42 AM »
Mine was... a bit more eclectic. And lightsaber free. I nearly added a flashlight laser or variable sword from Known Space, but decided against it. And I had memory plastics on mine until I discovered that they actually do exist these days, albeit with a different trigger mechanism than Niven proposed. I basically put things on my list based on either a) how useful it was or b) how much it amused me to put on the list.

1   The Babel Fish (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
(Why? It translates any language instantly and it's better explained that a universal translator.)

2   Green Lantern Power Ring (DC Comics)
(Why? It's the most versatile weapon in the universe, expecting the Lens. But that wouldn't have made the list. Plus these days it comes in a variety of colors.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

3   Samuel Colt's Revolver (Supernatural)
(Why? It's a gun that can almost kill anything, plus it has an awesome backstory. The gun from Drive Angry actually can kill anything, but I'm fairly sure that I might be the only person who ever saw that film.)

4   Disembaudio (Rifftrax)
(Why? Dude. It's Dis. I did mention his addiction to horse tranquilizers in my writeup though. )   

5   Replicators (Star Trek)
(Why? They instantly turn energy into almost any type of matter. They're incredibly useful.)

6   The SHAKK (Timeline Wars Series - John Barnes)
(Wny? It's an extremely high tech gun from a sci-fi novel series that probably only I have read. It's basically full of nanitic self-propelled fire and forget exploding railgun speed BBs and it can be refilled by just filling it with random stuff. It's a pretty darn awesome gun.)
   
7   The La-Z-Boy Baseketball
(Why? Well, it's undoubtedly the best Baseketball ever made.That counts for something.)
   
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

8   Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (aka The Portal Gun) (Portal)
(Why? Just because it's very, very neat. Plus it is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here].)
   
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

9   MJOLNIR Powered Armor (HALO)
(Why? It's about the only piece of powered armor that I could add in. Almost every other type I could think of was either bland (40k Space Marine armor doesn't really do much) or was bristling with weapons so that it didn't qualify. Plus it fit nicely with #10.)

10   Mjolnir (Marvel Comics)
(Why? As far as melee weapons go, this one is the top of the line. Can a lightsaber control the weather? Nope. Can you throw a lightsaber and hold onto the handle propelling you through the air? Nope. Can you do fake Shakespearean dialog while holding a lightsaber? Sure, but it's cooler when a viking does it.)

Oh, and an image so awesome that it could not be contained by this mere list:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
   
11   Bag of Holding (Dungeons & Dragons)
(Why? It's just incredibly useful. Plus in some campaign worlds, some bags of holding are actually portals to an alternate dimension that you can then travel across and access other bags of holding, like a bunch of little stargates that people are dumping stuff into.)
   
12   Wonderbat (The Simpsons)
(Why? It's baseball season and it has the coolest intro of practically anything on this list.)
It all started last year during a terrible thunderstorm when I locked myself out of the house. Sheltering myself with a large piece of sheet metal, I ran for cover under the tallest tree I could find.

Something told me this was a very special; very magical piece of wood. One that I could make a bat out of. I put my homemade football on hold and set to work making the world's greatest bat. And here it is. We play 30 games, I get 10 bats a game. I should hit 3000 homeruns.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

   
13   SHeVA 9 a.k.a. Bun-Bun (Legacy of the Aldenata Series, John Ringo)
(Why? It's a giant kludged together massive railgun that the Army bolted to a frame and then stuck a metal frame around and stuck treads on in an effort  to shoot down invading aliens. It's pretty much an incredibly useful driving deathtrap that no one in their right mind would make  or use if the situation wasn't completely desperate. And it's named after a psychotic knife wielding mini-lop. Bonus)
   
14   The Guide (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
(Why? It's got most of the total information in the universe on it, albeit in a rather sarcastic tone. this was the description I submitted:)
Quote
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is an electronic guide book that serves as "the standard repository for all knowledge and wisdom" for many members of the series' galaxy-spanning civilization. A hugely useful, informative and entertaining book, it is the standard reference work for all those struggling to make it from one part of the universe to another part of the universe on as little as 30 Altairian dollars a day. It's published by Megadodo Publications (situated on the planet Ursae Minoris Beta) and is available through many reputable (and even more disreputable) booksellers throughout the galaxy.

The Guide resembles "a small, thin, flexible lap computer" encased in a "sturdy plastic cover" with the words "Don't Panic" inscribed on it "in large, friendly letters". It is presumably of robust construction, making it able to withstand falling through time/space wormholes and being thrown into swamps, being rescued, and still operating. Its entries are arranged alphabetically on the screen and accessed via typing entry codes on a keyboard; "Earth" is on the same page as "Eccentrica Gallumbits, the Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon 6."

The Guide contains a multitude of useful information on how to survive in Galactic society, how to mix a Pan-Galactic Garblebaster and the proper use of a towel. As of yet, it does not include a port of Angry Birds.

Why that one? Because that's the online guide's entry on the guide and that entry was written by Douglas Adams himself, who is still quite dead. I did dd the Angry Birds part though.
   
15   Frostmourne (World of Warcraft)
(Why? I play a lot of Warcraft. It's an awesome looking sword, with a neat backstory and it's killed hundreds of thousands of people in game.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

16   Netrunning Deck (Various Sources)
(Why? It's just one of those iconic sci-fi items to me-  a mobile computer that allows you to insert your consciousness into the matrix/Web/Interthings and mentally hack. Various novels, movies, Shadowrun, Cyberpunk, Cthulhutech, comics, it's been in all of these. Kinda surprised that I seem to be the only one to mention them.)
   
17   Proton Pack (Ghostbusters)
(Why? Dude. It's an unlicensed nuclear accelerator used to capture ghosts. How cool is that? But don't cross the streams. That would be bad.)

18   Mr. Fusion (Back to the Future)
(Why? Once again, it's useful. Put in water, get out power. And it's small enough to be carried around in a car. If real, it would be mindboggingly valuable.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

19   Phoenix Down (Final Fantasy)
(Why? It's an item that brings people back to life, except during cutscenes. Just a wee bit useful, I would say.)
   
20   Hearthstone (World of Warcraft)
(Why? It's a small teleporter that will take you home once every 30 minutes. 15 if you've got a good guild. And unlike a Star Trek transporter, it never creates an evil twin or cause you to materialize inside out.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
   
21   The Hostess Fruit Pie (DC and Marvel Comics)
(Why? It's the ultimate law enforcement device. You throw one at a criminal or monster or alien and they stop what they are doing. Every time. Look!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

See? It succeeds even when an anti-mummy ray gun fails! It's awesome.

And yes a Twinkee isn't a fruit pie. But dude! Anti-mummy ray gun! How can you not use that one?
   
22   The Furstenburg Assault Rifle (Illegal Aliens, Nick Pollatta and Phil Folgio)
(Why? It's a useful assault rifle that's a running gag in a book I enjoy.)   

23   Unstable Molecules (Marvel Comics)
(Why? They're used to make clothing that can turn invisible, become metal, shrink, grow, and be set on fire with no ill effects. they could probably even survive a Nude bomb explosion.)

24   Deck of Many Things (Dungeons and Dragons)
(Why? They're an iconic magical item from AD&D- a magic deck of cards that when you pull a card from the deck, powerful good or bad stuff happens. They're an item that AD&D players both love and fear.)

25   The Original Talking Dog Collar (Up)

(Why? It allows a dog to speak. In multiple languages, no less. Plus they have a GPS and two-way communicator too.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

   
« Last Edit: May 07, 2011, 02:00:28 AM by Compound »


Doctor Who?

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #137 on: May 07, 2011, 03:54:17 AM »
Hey I did pretty good on this list.

Here is my list.

1)Sonic Screwdriver(Doctor Who)
2)Tisue compresion eleminator(Doctor Who)
3)John Steed's hat(The avengers)
4)Glitch(Reboot)
5)Dalek Gun(Doctor Who)
6)Omni-tool(Mass Effect)
7)PPG(Babylon 5)
8)Phasers(Star trek)
9)Bazookoid(red Dwarf)
10)Link(babylon 5)
11)The Hand of Omega(Doctor Who)
12)Webshooters(Spiderman)
13)Martion heat ray(The War of the Worlds)
14)Sting(The lord of the Rings)
15)tricorder(star trek)
16)Baterang(Batman)
17)Borg Cutting beam(Star trek TNG)
18)Death star prime weapon(Star Wars)
19)Captain America's shield(Captain America)
20)Thor's Hammer(thor)
21)bat'leth(star trek)
22)Gunblade(Final Fantasy VIII)
23)Photon Torpedoes(Star Trek)
24)Dalek Plunger hand(Doctor Who)
25)Lightsaber(Star Wars)


Doctor Who?

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #138 on: May 07, 2011, 03:58:40 AM »
Awesome list! Let's hear it for Tyrant for making it through the last leg while battling the Stomach Flu! (Despite my protests)

Here's my 25:

1) Proton Pack
2) Lightsaber
3) Samus' Arm Cannon
4) Professor Farnsworth's Fing-Longer
5) Megatron's Plasma Cannon
6) Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (Portal Gun)
7) Spider-Man's Web Shooters
8 ) Mario's Fire Flower
9) Mega Man's Arm Cannon
10) The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch (Monty Python)
11) Captain America's Shield
12) Excalibur (Arthurian Legends)
13) Sting (The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings)
14) Soul Calibur (Soul Calibur)
15) The Batarang
16) Hadouken (Street Fighter)
17) Death Star Laser
18) Master Shake's Straw
19) The Omni-Tool (Mass Effect)
20) Cloud's Gun-Blade (Final Fantasy 7)
21) Mjolnir (Norse Mythology)
22) Death's Scythe
23) Zeus' Thunderbolts (Greek Mythology)
24) Sheep Launcher (Worms)
25) Iron Man's Chest Blaster thingy

Good to see someone else voted for the Omni-Tool,even if it didn't make the list.


Offline Tripe

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #139 on: May 07, 2011, 04:34:27 AM »
« Last Edit: May 07, 2011, 04:43:54 AM by Tripe H. Redux »


Johnny Unusual

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #140 on: May 07, 2011, 08:13:25 AM »
1. The Green Lantern
2. Babelfish (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
3. Captain America�s Shield
4. Death Note (the funny thing about this is that when I was putting it on the list I was thinking "we could finally get Osama bin Laden with it.  Still, we could use it on Momar Kaddhaffi)
5. Gantz Suit (Gantz)
This suit gives you super speed and strength and is not some bulky armour.  On the downside it's skin tight and when you use your strength, you get big ugly muscles.  Also sometimes it will crap out if you overdo it and if you have one it probably means you are forced to kill aliens or get your head blown up.

http://6. Lightsaber
7. The Infinity Gauntlet

8. Maker (Transmetropolitan)
A hand appliance that can make anything you want to your specifications, including new inventions (as long as you have a general idea of how it would work.  Unfortunately some people have taken safety precautions out and caused the destruction of several city blocks.\
There are also mini-makers for travel.  Warning: your maker may get hooked on drugs that it can synthesize for itself.
9. Boom Tube (DC Comics)
A very dramatic teleportation device.

[10. Portal Gun (Portal)
11. Bag of Holding (Dungeons and Dragons)
12. The Hitchhiker�s Guide to the Galaxy

13. R�y� Jingu B�ng AKA The Monkey King�s Staff (Journey to the West and Various)

It can grow to any size and fit in your ear.  If wielding it, this song must be played:
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/5iUMWy4hqAg" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/5iUMWy4hqAg</a>

17. M Vest (Shade the Changing Man)
Reality warping and stylish.



18. Spider�s Glasses (Transmetropolitan)
Camera, video and again, stylish


20. Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic (Hitchhiker�s Guide to the Galaxy)
AKA, the Thumb.  I wuld like to hitch a ride out of this planet sometime.
21. The Flaming Sword (the Biblical One)

22. The Ultimate Nullifier
Now I can destroy anything... at the cost of my own life.  It's worth it Donald Trump!

23. Bowel Disruptor (Transmetropolitan)


24. The Thing on Leela�s Wrist (Futurama)
It's pretty great.

25. Hoverboard (Back to the Future 2)


I wish I remembered Pheonix Down or Hypo-Spray.  I'm pretty accident prone.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2011, 02:48:15 PM by Johnny Unusual »


Offline Tyrant

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #141 on: May 07, 2011, 07:30:35 PM »
Polls are now open for the next LoC. Thanks for the compliments everyone. It wasn't easy, between it being my first list, issues with my job, getting sick, etc.. Hopefully my next will be even better.


Johnny Unusual

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #142 on: May 08, 2011, 09:12:14 AM »
Here's my 25:

16) Hadouken (Street Fighter)


Hey, that's not a weapon, that's a move.  It's just a simple matter of taking one's chi and forcing it into a ball.


Offline Pak-Man

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #143 on: May 08, 2011, 01:30:12 PM »
I figure the projectile itself is a weapon after the move launches it. :^)


Offline Asbestos Bill

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #144 on: May 08, 2011, 01:53:48 PM »
When I was in Debate, there was a team who ran a case about alcohol when the topic was WMDs. They tried to justify it by saying that since alcohol lead to X deaths every year it was a Weapon


Watchman

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #145 on: May 10, 2011, 12:23:04 AM »
Quote
#1
Lightsaber- Star Wars
What a unique result. A fucking triumph of human imagination. *sigh*

Sorry, it's just that Compound raised my hope that human ingenuity might win out over the goddamned lightsaber.


FTI, I am not including the lightsaber in my list. It may seem fatalistic & preordained that the lightsaber will rank as #1, but it doesn't have to

There's no reason at all for lightsabers to be in the top rank. I'll illustrate with non-eligible items.



This is a lightsaber. It looks neat and it cuts through almost anything that isn't a lightsaber. That's about it.

(It does not deflect things. The Jedi behind the lighsaber does that. Vader is seen deflecting bolts with his hand a.. A Jedi could deflect blaster bolts with a baseball bat, it's just that the bat would likely not survive more than one shot.)



This is a chainsaw. It also cuts through most anything and as an added bonus, it makes a much cooler sound than the lightsaber. (Fun Nerdy fact: the current fan interpretation of lightsabers is that they are in fact chainsaws, just using a ring of plasma rather than a ring of sharp teeth.)



This is a flamethrower. It allows you to from a distance SET THINGS ON FIRE.

You may think that cutting off people's limbs is fun, but making things burn is much more enjoyable.


This is a Defibrillator. It allows a jolt of electricity to be generated from one paddle which is then transmitted through a conductive material to make a circuit with the other paddle. The desired result of this is to restart a stopped heart, bringing the being with the recently non-beating heart back to life. This is much cooler than being able to cut through things and looking neat.

Please note- this argument comes from a person whose current list draft contains two items which might be accurately described as "A piece of wood."


Offline Asbestos Bill

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #146 on: May 10, 2011, 07:29:27 AM »
Quote
#1
Lightsaber- Star Wars
What a unique result. A fucking triumph of human imagination. *sigh*

Sorry, it's just that Compound raised my hope that human ingenuity might win out over the goddamned lightsaber.

What does ingenuity have to do with anything? We're talking about fictional weapons.


Offline Tyrant

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #147 on: May 10, 2011, 08:15:43 AM »
Maybe originality was more the word? I don't like to put words in people's mouths (or on their keyboards) though.

After years and years of seeing lightsabers come in at #1 on all kinds of lists for stuff, I was 99.9% sure it would happen on this one too. I can see where some folks might have been disappointed about it, though. More original weapons get overshadowed and ignored.




Offline Tripe

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #148 on: May 10, 2011, 09:37:36 AM »
Yeah people like swords, they're long slivers of death under the control of somebody with skill. They're probably always going to do well on a list of weapons.  And with a lightsabre you have to do something with which is rarely advisable with a real sword (especially the ones they most resemble), and that is clash the blades together in order to parry your opponents attack.  So that's always fun.


Watchman

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Re: LoC #47: Fictional Tools & Weapons
« Reply #149 on: May 10, 2011, 06:38:24 PM »
Maybe originality was more the word? I don't like to put words in people's mouths (or on their keyboards) though.

Maybe "imagination" is the right word.

I just hate it when I make a cynical prediction & I end up being proven right. I want my cynicism to be proven wrong, dammit!

Though your succession of fake #1's lifted my spirits, Tyrant! Scrolling down & seeing The Bees triggered a microsecond of "WTF?!" disorientation, I love it when that happens.

To everyone else, sorry for being a crab. If I meditate on the issue & try to be optimistic, I can say it's comforting that nothing from the Transformers movies made #1. That would truly be a cause for despair.