Re: Text Adventure: a shared experience

[Dim of the Yard]

A wide grin, sorely lacking in the front tooth department, splits the man's face. "Sure hope it ain't for Peace." He guffaws and drags you upstairs. He takes you by your broken hand. The pain will prevent you from using your left arm for two turns.

At the top of the stairs, the man presents his intricate machine to you with a dramatic flourish of his hands. "See that?" he asks. "That's my Awesometastic Doohickey 9000." With a shrug, he admits, "The name could use a bit of work, but the machine? She's a beast!"

He takes you to one end of the machine, where there are two ominous needles the size of your arm about ten feet above an uncomfortable-looking slab with leather restraints. The chamber of one of the giant needles is filled with a black liquid, too dark to see through. "All I gotta do is tie somebody down and flip a switch, and this machine will switch out the blood in his body and replace it with that motor oil. Make donating to the Red Cross a breeze." His guffaw comes out as a pained cough. "Though it don't turn out too great for the other guy."

Again, the man points his gun at your head. "If you want, I can give you an up close and personal demonstration. Take a seat." His persuasive tone implies that he simply will not take no for an answer.

Edit: Yikes, that was long... sorry!

[Pak-Man]

> Cite Allergies to Oil

[AmazingThor]

"Allergies?!" he wails, "I ain't never heard a no allergies to motor oil!"
He lowers his gun a little a shakes his head. "I guess I won't be able to test this here machine afterall."
You let out a sigh of relief and make a mental note to compose a humorous anecdote about this whole affair for Reader's Digest when the man's face lights up again. "I know! I'll just fill 'er up with moonshine instead!" Uh-oh.

[Scribblesense]

>Summon Cthulhu

[mattwnelson]

The hillbilly inventor looks at you quizzically as you rattle off a group of nonsense syllables that do absolutely nothing. "I best get that oil tank swapped out for the moonshine," he says while shaking his head. "You jest sit right thar a spell." He motions to a rickety wooden chair at the base of the machine with his gun. As he opens a cupboard and grabs the moonshine tank, his eyes glaze and he mumbles, "This shore do give me a powerful thirst." His large, pink tongue darts in and out nervously, and his hands start to shake a little.

>

[Scribblesense]

>Wedgie

[AmazingThor]

While the hillbilly inventor is distracted by filling the machine with moonshine you notice his underwear protruding through a hole in his overalls (an image you will have to drink several jugs of moonshine just to erase from your memory). You grab hold of the underwear (trying not to think how long it's been since they were last washed) and give them a yank. "Gosh all fish hooks!" he yells, comically. You just begin to congratulate yourself for a well timed prank when you notice the now enraged hillbilly pointing his gun at you. Apparently he doesn't appreciate your brand of humor.

[SJP]

>Stick fingers comically into end of gun barrels in hopes of causing blowback

Oh, wait, they're 8 gauge barrels...

>Stick arms comically into end of gun barrels in hopes of causing blowback

[Johnny Unusual]

You stick your arms in the barrels.  The bullets are fired and the bullets plow through your flesh.  You quickly bleed to death.

Game Over.

[Johnny Unusual]

Hey everyone, I got a new game disc we can try out!

run MST3k.exe

You wake up in a room with a killer headache.  The walls are cold gray steel that seem to be covered in kit-bashed tech.  You hear a quiet pulsing noise.  Standing over you is a small gold robot with a beak and a short red gumball-headed robot.  There seems to be only one exit.  The last thing you remember is doing temp work in an underground lab and getting wanged on the head really hard.

Current sanity rating 50%

[Dim of the Yard]

> Look at Exit

[Johnny Unusual]

The exit is a hexagonal shaped door that's been left open.  It seems to lead into a hallway.

[SJP]

>Inventory

[Johnny Unusual]

Jump suit (currently being worn)
Signed time sheet

[AmazingThor]

You stand up carefully. The world spins for a moment and then comes in to focus. The two robots stare up at you (at least you assume the gumball headed robot is staring) and for the first time you notice a floating grey orb that seems to have a small camera lens protruding from it's body. You are definately not in Kansas anymore. Or a cheese factory, for that matter.