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Author Topic: What did we learn?  (Read 8142 times)

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Offline Pak-Man

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What did we learn?
« on: September 05, 2006, 09:10:26 AM »
Every movie should have a message, and I think all the Rifftrax movies have their own little morals.

Here's what I learned:

Cocktail: If you really and truely love someone, you probably shouldn't take a $50 bet to bag a rich lady.
Fifth Element: Captain Planet was right. Heart IS an element!
Star Trek V: If it's not YOUR God, blow it away!
Roadhouse: Don't rip out people's throats.

So what did you all learn? :^)


Offline Tarantulas

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2006, 09:40:26 AM »
Cocktail:  Bryan Brown is not a financial wizkid
Fifth Element:  French director + comic book + production designer on crash = SHE KNOWS IT'S A MULTIPASS!
Star Trek V:  Proof positive that its possible to make a worse movie than "Ishtar"
Road House:     1. Expect the unexpected. Never underestimate your opponent.
                      2. Take it outside. Never start trouble inside the club (unless absolutely necessary).
                      3. Be nice.



Offline Joe Don Faker

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2006, 10:10:06 AM »
Fifth Element:  Five seconds of footage is enough to exceed one's yearly tolerance of Chris Tucker

Road House:  Beer bottles will smash when tossed against loose chicken wire


Offline gammer

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2006, 10:25:49 AM »
Cocktail: People dont mind waiting 4 hours for a drink as long as the bartenders "showboat" while making the drink.

StarTrek V: Vulcans and humans should never sing row-row-row your boat at the same time.

5th Element: Some movies use product placement, but I really couldnt find it in this movie.

Road House: Jeff Healy is actually in the Jeff Healy Band.


Offline Bob

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2006, 10:39:30 AM »
Roadhouse:
"Curly Sue" was NOT the worst movie Kelly Lynch has ever been in.
J.C. Penney owners are evil.

The Fifth Element:
I have a surprisingly low tolerance for opera sung by blue people.
Directors need to reign Gary Oldman in a bit more.

Star Trek V:
Never go camping without an ascot.
God really does not need a starship after all.

Cocktail:
Every person a bartender meets will secretly be rich.
My local T.G.I.F. is really boring compared to the ones in New York.


Offline SmilinJackRoss

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2006, 11:50:06 AM »
Cocktail:  If you move to Jamaica from New York, you can go back and get the exact same apartment with the same furniture and decorations, no problem.

Star Trek V: A machine gun can kill an ethereal being.

Fifth Element: The "Storm Trooper rule" still applies, that if you're a bad guy, you cannot aim a weapon worth a damn.  Even alien races in the future.

Road House: One black man in your movie for 4 seconds constitutes "Equal Employment".

« Last Edit: September 05, 2006, 07:18:16 PM by Smilin Jack Ross »
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Offline Tarantulas

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2006, 01:15:34 PM »
xXx: Asia Argento is HAWT!


Offline Joe Don Faker

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2006, 01:22:57 PM »
Road House: One black man in your movie for 4 seconds constitutes "Equal Employment".

Yeah ... Keith David is so criminally underused, I was convinced that his part must have wound up splattered in beer on the cutting room floor.  Maybe he had a 9-minute fistfight with Jimmy...


Offline hypochrismutreefuzz

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2006, 02:16:11 PM »
ROADHOUSE:
    Crusty farmers can be relied upon to provide crisp, white linens and will rub oil into your musclature
5th ELEMENT:
    Clowns taste funny.
STAR TREK V:
    Be one with the ______.


Offline mrbasehart

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2006, 04:00:12 PM »
Ha! Funny thread.  Here goes:

Road House: Patrick Swayze looks much better with clothes on.  Kelly Lynch does not.

Fifth Element: French directors are clearly colour blind and deaf.

Star Trek V: Women in their seventies can still give desperate nomads woodies.

Cocktail: The 80's sucked.  REALLY sucked.


Offline MrTorso

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2006, 03:26:14 PM »
Cocktail: To bed a woman all you need to do is give her a drink she didn't order and the closing move.....Throw LIT matches at her!!


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Offline sarcasm_made_Easy

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2006, 05:49:58 PM »
Cocktail: its considered classy to pour several gallons of a $500 cognac into a snifter and then chug it without any ceremony or reservations whatsoever


I hope like hell that wasnt really louie.  Id cry.  i will have to pretend for the moment it was crappy military select whiskey.


Offline Edward J Grug III

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2006, 06:45:29 PM »
Roadhouse: Pain doesn't hurt.
FINE


Offline Skiptastic

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2006, 06:16:13 AM »
Road House: I need to move to places where I can cop a feel by pretending to have twenty bucks.


Offline mrbasehart

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Re: What did we learn?
« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2006, 08:58:24 AM »
XXX : Large pectoral muscles and a deep voice will get you everywhere with European chicks.