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Author Topic: New Short Available - "William's Doll"  (Read 7658 times)

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Offline Thrashalla

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New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« on: August 06, 2010, 10:24:53 AM »
http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/williams-doll


It's every parent's nightmare:  You're woken up at 3AM by a knock at your front door.  When you open it, there's a somber looking policeman standing there, his hat in his hands. He avoids eye contact with you, and his voice quivers as he begins to speak.  Before he even gets a word out, you know what he's going to say.  "Sir," he quivers.  "Your son...wants a doll."

The producers of William's Doll want you to believe that a boy with a doll is perfectly normal.  For some reason, they made a film that convinces everyone of the exact opposite. We here at RiffTrax are as open-minded as they come regarding childhood toys.  Some of us even grew up playing with a toy called Stinkor: The Evil Master of Odors, and we turned out alright.*  But by the time the train wreck of William's Doll comes to its unspeakable conclusion, you'll be taking to the streets with your fellow Doll Party members, seizing and burning every doll you find just so they never end up in the hands of a boy.**

The twisted minds behind William's Doll made their defense of boys playing with dolls by combining two of the most loathsome things our planet has ever known: warbly 60's folk music and senior citizens.  The guy who sings the William's Doll Theme sounds like Donovan singing Hurdy Gurdy Man after several months of gender reversal hormone treatment and a kick from a mule in what remains of his nads.  But even that pales in comparison to William's grandfather, who walks in the door looking like the sun-dried corpse of Larry David and immediately begins his fiendish doll-enabling.

Bright spots include William's Dad, a grown, presumably employed man who wears a red mesh hat with a Goofy patch, who would rather let his son play with a Super Soaker Oozinator*** than a doll.  If you can find one of these hats, please let Mike, Kevin and Bill know.  They'll trade you an Oozinator for it.

*Slightly stinky though
**Stay away from that Cabbage Patch Doll that devours your hair though****
***Google it
****Or better yet, give it to William's grandfather

http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/williams-doll

Warning: This is a creepy one. *shudders*
Any issues with the RiffTrax main page should be directed to support@rifftrax.com Attempts to engage with me directly about such matters will result in ridicule.


Offline Compound

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Re: New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2010, 11:36:59 AM »
You know, after reading that description I was going to come over here and note that there's a similar short in the 70s film "Free to Be You and Me." But after looking a bit, I've realized that they're both based on the same story.

So, if you want to get the gist of the short, only without riffs, with animations and also with Alan Alda singing, here it is:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/qyAkZW-v-k4&amp;" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/qyAkZW-v-k4&amp;</a>

I wouldn't try synching to it though, since it's 15 minutes shorter than the RT short.


Offline qlopp

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Re: New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2010, 03:06:52 PM »

Bright spots include William's Dad, a grown, presumably employed man who wears a red mesh hat with a Goofy patch, who would rather let his son play with a Super Soaker Oozinator*** than a doll.  If you can find one of these hats, please let Mike, Kevin and Bill know.  They'll trade you an Oozinator for it.


Wow, thanks for the reminder about the Super Soaker Jizzinator.  I still can't believe that toy or ad is real.


Offline Rattrap007

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Re: New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2010, 07:44:06 PM »
  But even that pales in comparison to William's grandfather, who walks in the door looking like the sun-dried corpse of Larry David and immediately begins his fiendish doll-enabling.

I immediately thought he looked like Larry David as well.

The dad looked Like Michael Gross from Family Ties..

but dear god was this a creepy short. That kid would be on a pervert list in the future..




Offline MartyS (Gromit)

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Re: New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2010, 12:11:40 AM »
but dear god was this a creepy short. That kid would be on a pervert list in the future..

Yea, if their point was to make people feel OK about a boy getting a doll then directing the kid to act creepy was not the way to go.   I suppose they were trying to make him act "sensitive", but failed miserably, they either didn't notice or didn't have the budget for any extra takes....

Great riff, lots of big laughs.


Offline Kenotic

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Re: New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2010, 06:42:31 AM »
Good grief, first the Danielson Famile (in Things are Different now short, which gets a high rating on the obscure-o-meter) and now Sufjan Stevens. The RT guys are listening to too much of the Freak Folk musicians.

Okay -- this one is weird. It's not that the little boy wants a doll (I wanted a Pound Puppy at 8, which is sort of close), but the pawing of the baby and the long segments without dialogue are not the best way to suggest that boys playing with dolls are just happy and normal.

In regards to Compound's post, neither is having Alan Alda singing "A Dal-all!, A Dal-all!" to what looks like demented Peanuts characters.

I'll say it again: Man, the 70s were mawkish. Still, this is hilarious and certainly one of the top shorts in awhile.
I was a student at a small midwestern college....


Offline CJones

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Re: New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2010, 11:48:05 AM »
  But even that pales in comparison to William's grandfather, who walks in the door looking like the sun-dried corpse of Larry David and immediately begins his fiendish doll-enabling.

I immediately thought he looked like Larry David as well.

The dad looked Like Michael Gross from Family Ties..

And was it just me or did the woman at the store look like Kathy Griffin.

I'd gotten kinda burned out on shorts recently. I think the last one I bought was Summer is an Adventure, which except for "We need more Mexicans!", wasn't all that good. However this was great. I guess now I'm going have to get caught up.

"HEY, DON'T EVER TOUCH THAT STICK, THAT IS MY STICK!", "THERE, NOW YOUR STICK'S IN HELL!" - I found that hilarious for some reason.


Offline space_mutiny

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Re: New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2010, 01:19:28 AM »
I think this one may have out-creepied even "One Got Fat"...Hooray!
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Offline Steel Monkey

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Re: New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2012, 08:24:56 AM »
I understand why the short existed and the book that is is based on for that matter. That if a child likes certain things like dolls music dancing they should not be labeled and there is nothing wrong with that. The short presents this rather creepily with the boys fascination with the baby and pawing of her. Very funny though.


Offline NRRork

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Re: New Short Available - "William's Doll"
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2012, 05:04:30 PM »
I'm not really bothered by the idea of a boy playing with a doll. However, my only real thought throughout this whole short was that I just didn't want THIS boy to have a doll.

Ever.

1) One, he was just creepy and I fear his doll will only enable that further.
2) I grew to dislike the kid so much over the course of the short that the idea of him being deprived of something he really wanted started to get a schadenfreude sort of appeal to it.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2012, 05:09:20 PM by NRRork »
I used to have an image here, but Photobucket got cheap about remote linking. I guess I'll have to think of something witty instead. Which I will. Later. It caught me by surprise, in all honesty. It's hard to be clever on command, I mean, YOU try it. Be funny: NOW! See, tough. So, gimme a bit, 'kay?