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Author Topic: The Entirety of World Knowledge  (Read 7493 times)

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Offline Darth Geek

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Re: The Entirety of World Knowledge
« Reply #60 on: September 10, 2010, 07:35:53 AM »
34 Clown names that we recommend you use if you get into the clown business: (cont.)
31. Pesci, not a funny clown.
32. Bubbles, either a clown that gets blown up a lot, or...one for adult parties.



Offline LordZordec

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Re: The Entirety of World Knowledge
« Reply #61 on: September 11, 2010, 08:22:06 AM »
34 Clown names that we recommend you use if you get into the clown business: (cont.)
33. Crookie, the Scoliosis clown.
34. Immaculato - The perfectionist OCD germiphobic clown.
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Invader_quirk

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Re: The Entirety of World Knowledge
« Reply #62 on: September 11, 2010, 12:44:58 PM »
The 5 rarest mascots and how best to trap them.

Name: Hoboscis
Represents: the New Jersey Thompson High School Fighting Homeless Proboscises
How to spot one: Hoboscis looks like a proboscis monkey with an even more exaggerated nose. He has a long beard and a bottle of ripple sewn onto the left hand. Slow, stumbling movements.
Methods for capture: Hoboscis is the easiest of the mascots on this list to capture. Banana shnapps under a propped-up box should do the trick. The only tricky part is making sure the opening is wide enough to accommodate the comically large head.


Online Johnny Unusual

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Re: The Entirety of World Knowledge
« Reply #63 on: September 16, 2010, 07:54:09 AM »
Name: The Burgundy Monster
Represents: The Oregon Jefferson Burgundy Sox (and Knitted Turtlenecks)
How to Spot One:  This one can be a bit tricky.  This is not to be confused with a Crimson Monster or a Maroon Monster.  Keep a colour wheel with you.
Methods for Capture: The monster only shows up mid-game, and even then rarely, to great indifference.  Burgundy is one of 7 colours designed NOT to motivate (please see the list 7 Colours Designed NOT to Motivate).  Wait until the match is going really bad, and the team is desperate for any sort of support.  When the monster arrives, pounce.  At this point he will be easy to catch because simply by being burgundy, he will have no will to fight back.  Also, for extra measure, bet against the Oregon Jefferson Burgundy Sox (and Knitted Turtlenecks).


Offline LordZordec

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Re: The Entirety of World Knowledge
« Reply #64 on: September 16, 2010, 07:19:01 PM »
Name: The Klandestine Datasaurus
Represents: South Hampton Independent Technical Analyst Scholastic Society
How to spot one: Has a long furry stiped tail, a disproportionately large buttocks, the chest and head of a crocodile, legs of a cow, and arms that look like the fins of a catfish.  It can be found skulking around in the sewers, at Goodwill stores, or at seedy nightclubs.  Proceed with caution!!
Methods of capture: Luring it into an internet sex sting and then zapping it with a tazer when it attempts to flee.  Also, feeding it pixie sticks until it goes into diabetic shock will work.  Keep a spare pair of sock and a magic marker with you just in case...youll know why if you ever catch one!
« Last Edit: September 16, 2010, 07:20:41 PM by LordZordec »
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Online Johnny Unusual

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Re: The Entirety of World Knowledge
« Reply #65 on: September 20, 2010, 05:03:47 PM »
Name: The Lindbergh Baby
Represents: the Northampton Babies.
How to Spot One:  It's a large man with a diaper and a creepy baby mask.  Not to be confused with Booji Boy.
Methods of Capture: Though hard to find, once it is found it is quite easy to catch.  Your best chance at finding him is listening for it angry wail.  However, once catching it, you've got to deal with it: changing, burping, etc.  But catching it may solve one of the greatest mascot related disappearences since Amelia Bearheart, the mascot of the school's Harrier Jet Racing teams.