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Author Topic: The Karate Kid (2010)  (Read 1231 times)

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Offline Blaine

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The Karate Kid (2010)
« on: May 09, 2010, 07:45:12 PM »
I'm actually requesting you do NOT riff this film. Please, guys. I know half of the fun of riffing movies is sitting through the torture Hollywood has unleashed upon the world culture and this movie can offer so much potential, but in order for me to enjoy a Rifftrax I have to watch it once without.

Which means... I'd have to watch it twice. In a row. I don't have the strength to sit through this unholy, amoral sodomization of an 80's movie par excellence. This thing that should not be. A dark, saurian claw will disembowel the fragile flesh of my childhood. Excreting the mangled offal into a cinematic abortion, powered by the fetid, black sludge of a thousand focus groups. Pumped not by a heart, but by a chamber of ulcerated sphincters. Writhing. Pulsating. Begging for a death that just won't come.

I ask that you, if you must, please instead riff the original 1984 Karate Kid. It is being re-released in High Def as a collectors edition. So the movie will be very accessible to the public.



Offline Cosmic Muse

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2010, 05:34:07 AM »
I'm taking it that you've already watched this movie?
Being a genocidal maniac is not one of my turn ons.

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Offline Blaine

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2010, 06:31:36 AM »
I'm taking it that you've already watched this movie?

In fairness, I have not.

That said, I don't feel this reaction is out of place. Anymore so than a remake of the Michael J. Fox vehicle, "Teen Wolf 2010" about angsty, glee club vampires. Sure one doesn't normally associate wolves with vampires, however certain mythos do attribute them the power to shape shift into a wolf.

So while there's sure to be some clever explanation on how Karate = Kung-fu, it will be as valid as Japanese = Chinese.


Offline MrTorso

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2010, 09:18:42 AM »
...but in order for me to enjoy a Rifftrax I have to watch it once without.

Why? Does that rule also apply to MST3K episodes?
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Offline Blaine

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2010, 10:53:48 AM »
...but in order for me to enjoy a Rifftrax I have to watch it once without.

Why? Does that rule also apply to MST3K episodes?

Perhaps because I'm wired that way. If I had to explain it... I occasionally find myself distracted by the movie. Not knowing the movie, I'll find myself focusing on it at the expense of the Riffers. So, for me, it's easier to just watch it once through without so I don't develop a case of "Wait, what did he say?" which means I'm now wondering what's going on, and I'm not following the movie or the riff.

As for the MST3K stuff... I rarely have that problem. Honestly, it's not a hard and fast rule for the Riffs either (Carnival of Souls and Planet of The Dinos come to mind as ones I've only see with the commentary). At the risk of being an asshole, the lions share of MST3k films would not be able to hold my attention anyways. I'd probably become bored.

Yeah, so I suppose I stratify films not necessarily by "good" and "bad", but by "good", "bad" and "boring". All three are arbitrary, subjective terms but a movie I find "boring" need. The Room is a horribly, horribly bad film but far from boring. The Revenge of The Creature, which I just watched last night would be boring. That's not because it's old. Some of my favorite movies are Marx Brothers movies. It's just purely subjective.

tl:dr; Idiosyncratic need to not find the movie itself competing with the Rifftrax commentary.


Offline ScottotD

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2010, 11:36:57 PM »
I'm taking it that you've already watched this movie?

In fairness, I have not.

That said, I don't feel this reaction is out of place

Nope, definately the right place for complaining about something you haven't seen  ;D
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Offline Blaine

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2010, 04:05:06 AM »
I'm taking it that you've already watched this movie?

In fairness, I have not.

That said, I don't feel this reaction is out of place

Nope, definately the right place for complaining about something you haven't seen  ;D

I'm actually not complaining. I'm requesting. I'm requesting that they don't do it only because then I'll HAVE to watch it.
I really don't care if it exists, so long as I don't have to see it. I suppose someone would say "You don't have to watch every Rifftrax" but these people are what is technically known as 'wrong'.


Offline Cosmic Muse

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #7 on: May 14, 2010, 04:41:41 AM »
...but in order for me to enjoy a Rifftrax I have to watch it once without.

Why? Does that rule also apply to MST3K episodes?

I guess all people are different. I find with certain movies, I'd rather watch them he first time with a Riff Trax because the experience is just too excruciating for me. There are just some movies I cannot watch without funny commentary, like Twilight.
Being a genocidal maniac is not one of my turn ons.

Is it weird to hear the Safety Dance in my head watching Game of Thrones?


Offline ScottotD

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2010, 05:03:22 AM »
I'm taking it that you've already watched this movie?

In fairness, I have not.

That said, I don't feel this reaction is out of place

Nope, definately the right place for complaining about something you haven't seen  ;D

I'm actually not complaining. I'm requesting. I'm requesting that they don't do it only because then I'll HAVE to watch it.
I really don't care if it exists, so long as I don't have to see it.

I applaud you for your sane and rational reasoning, well played Sir/Madam
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Offline Road_Element

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2010, 06:10:08 PM »
Personally i like when they do movies i dont want to see. Mainly because they mostly confirm my suspicions that the movie sucks. Especially when it comes to remakes.  And this look pretty sucky.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2010, 06:15:54 PM by Road_Element »


Offline JimJ

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2010, 05:02:40 PM »
Personally i like when they do movies i dont want to see. Mainly because they mostly confirm my suspicions that the movie sucks. Especially when it comes to remakes.  And this look pretty sucky.

I agree.  I always feel a little guilty talking shit about movies I haven't seen, even if it's blatantly obvious that they're awful.  RiffTrax actually gives me an excuse to watch them and confirm it.

As for this, I thought it looked awful but the reviews have been surprisingly positive.  I may rent this when it comes out, riff or not.


Offline Bahana

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Re: The Karate Kid (2010)
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2010, 10:11:53 AM »
Karate Kid 3, and The Next Karate Kid, would be great. The 2010 film is blasphemy. The original was my favorite movie as a kid. I'm going to pretend it does not exist.