Author Topic: Fortune Cookie Sayings  (Read 6445 times)

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Offline LordZordec

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Fortune Cookie Sayings
« on: April 29, 2010, 07:28:12 PM »
Have you sat down at a Chinese buffet, stuffed yourself on fried rice and wontons until you were ready to puke, and then cracked open the fortune cookie to reveal some pithy one-liner that almost makes sense if you think about it long enough, and thenyou wonder, "Who comes up with this crap!  I could do this!"

Well, prove it!  Post your one-liner bit of fortune cookie wisdom.

I'll start us off -

He who eats much also poops much.
"I love you Braaaaaaaaaak!!!"


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2010, 09:45:20 PM »
You will cry yourself to sleep tonight.

To hear one has only to listen (Credit to Chris Columbus)




Offline D.B. Barnes

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2010, 12:31:01 AM »
Your MSG allergy should kick in at any moment.
VIVA IL ESORDIO DEL DIABETE ADULTO DUCE!!!


Offline LordZordec

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2010, 05:28:49 AM »
One mans SPCA is another mans meat market.
"I love you Braaaaaaaaaak!!!"


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2010, 07:42:18 AM »
You will find yourself on a road trip you take in order to find yourself.  However you will not find yourself... except on a road trip that you take in order to find yourself.  No, I'm not saying you will find yourself, I'm simply stating... Look let's just start over.

(OK, I think this one is more of a horoscope, but same diff.)


Offline LBeria

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2010, 08:16:00 AM »
I've actually kept two that I got a different restaurants:

"You are a person who likes to eat Chinese food."

and

"The way to a healthy lifestyle is to eat more Chinese food."
You're such a survivalist gun nut.
Only the good die young...but most people are morally ambiguous which explains our random dying patterns. -- Tom Servo


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2010, 05:55:44 AM »
"You will die alone and afraid knowing not a single human being ever loved you.  Your lucky numbers are 3, 18 and 86."

Oh, Clayton, you died alone and afraid knowing not a single human being ever loved you.  Bless your heart.


Offline LordZordec

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2010, 08:16:36 PM »
When you are about to retire, the economy will take a downturn and your company will go bankrupt.  You will work at McDonalds until you die.
"I love you Braaaaaaaaaak!!!"


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2010, 08:43:01 PM »
"You will die alone and afraid knowing not a single human being ever loved you.  Your lucky numbers are 3, 18 and 86."


 :clap: :clap: :clap:


You broke the lucky cookie, didn't you?



Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2010, 07:30:01 AM »
If you are a drummer for a band, you'll just be getting the front man's cast off chicks.  But they are still chicks, so don't go all sour grapes.


Offline LordZordec

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2010, 07:13:14 PM »
There are three kind of women: Women you find attractive, women you settle for, and the woman you love.  The latter two are not mutually inclusive.
"I love you Braaaaaaaaaak!!!"


Offline Sideswipe

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2010, 07:39:31 PM »
Thank you for shopping at PetCo

I was bieng threated with death by wolf raping before it was cool!.


Offline Johnny Unusual

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2010, 07:10:27 AM »
Thank you for freeing me from that cookie.  I was scared.


Offline TheUnabeefer

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2010, 10:29:10 AM »
"You just ate my home, you bastard."
...and there he was, reigning supreme at number two.  The One... The Only... The Unabeefer.



Offline LordZordec

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Re: Fortune Cookie Sayings
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2010, 06:29:57 PM »
A bathroom and a cardiologist reckon heavily in your future.
"I love you Braaaaaaaaaak!!!"