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Author Topic: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.  (Read 5636 times)

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Offline Thrifty

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Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« on: March 21, 2010, 08:35:53 AM »


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2010, 09:07:39 AM »
From the Chicago Sun Times web site.

Quote
  I've already explained in my review of the first film, The Twilight Saga is an extended metaphor for teen chastity, in which the punishment for being deflowered I will leave to your imagination.
Until the fourth movie, anyway.

Sadly Ebert heaping well deserved scorn on this movie will go unnoticed or unheaded by the only people who need to know about it.



Offline Cosmic Muse

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2010, 09:26:27 AM »
I just don't know why Twihards can't see that this franchise is based more or less on some really horrible plot contrivances similar to really bad fanfiction.
Being a genocidal maniac is not one of my turn ons.

Is it weird to hear the Safety Dance in my head watching Game of Thrones?


Offline ManUnderMask

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2010, 09:58:39 AM »
Wait, did Ebert just use The Joker and Edward in the same sentence?

WHY EBERT?! Why sully the good name of The Joker?!  :'(
I survived the San Diego Comic Con 2010 Hall H stabbing.


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2010, 01:11:10 PM »
I just don't know why Twihards can't see that this franchise is based more or less on some really horrible plot contrivances similar to really bad fanfiction.
Because it is a romance, which is what they want to read, and it stars a character shallow (if not more so) like they are, and has all of her negative bad behavior, poor relationship skills and personality as good things. Given that they don't care about everything that makes vampire truly interesting, it bastardizes them just to give the intended audience some other variation on the "tall dark stranger".



Offline zenmichael

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2010, 01:16:48 PM »
From the Chicago Sun Times web site.

Quote
  I've already explained in my review of the first film, The Twilight Saga is an extended metaphor for UNWED teen chastity, in which the punishment for being deflowered I will leave to your imagination.
Until the fourth movie, anyway.

Sadly Ebert heaping well deserved scorn on this movie will go unnoticed or unheaded by the only people who need to know about it.

FIXED
Michael T Bradley
Ice on Mars


Offline Thrifty

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2010, 02:22:04 PM »
I just don't know why Twihards can't see that this franchise is based more or less on some really horrible plot contrivances similar to really bad fanfiction.
Because it is a romance, which is what they want to read, and it stars a character shallow (if not more so) like they are, and has all of her negative bad behavior, poor relationship skills and personality as good things.
Oh my God.  That sounds exactly like the Left Behind series.  Except replace "her" with "their" referring to the dozen or so characters like this.


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2010, 02:39:33 PM »
I just don't know why Twihards can't see that this franchise is based more or less on some really horrible plot contrivances similar to really bad fanfiction.
Because it is a romance, which is what they want to read, and it stars a character shallow (if not more so) like they are, and has all of her negative bad behavior, poor relationship skills and personality as good things.
Oh my God.  That sounds exactly like the Left Behind series.  Except replace "her" with "their" referring to the dozen or so characters like this.
Not surprising. People like being told things that they already believe. Noone like being told that they are a bad person or that they should change, even if it's true.



Offline Cosmic Muse

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2010, 03:22:24 PM »
I just don't know why Twihards can't see that this franchise is based more or less on some really horrible plot contrivances similar to really bad fanfiction.
Because it is a romance, which is what they want to read, and it stars a character shallow (if not more so) like they are, and has all of her negative bad behavior, poor relationship skills and personality as good things. Given that they don't care about everything that makes vampire truly interesting, it bastardizes them just to give the intended audience some other variation on the "tall dark stranger".

It's just too bad these deprived children have never heard of or are interested Dark Shadows. That told a love story between a vampire and a mortal in a much more mature, interesting fashion. Even the 90's remake was better written than this Twilight tripe. Barnabas Collins' drama  trumps emo brat Edward Cullen's in spades.
Being a genocidal maniac is not one of my turn ons.

Is it weird to hear the Safety Dance in my head watching Game of Thrones?


Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2010, 03:33:46 PM »
It's just too bad these deprived children have never heard of or are interested Dark Shadows. That told a love story between a vampire and a mortal in a much more mature, interesting fashion. Even the 90's remake was better written than this Twilight tripe. Barnabas Collins' drama  trumps emo brat Edward Cullen's in spades.

QFT

Not surprising. People like being told things that they already believe. Noone like being told that they are a bad person or that they should change, even if it's true.

Explains why some people defend this drivel beyond all reason.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2010, 03:35:24 PM by Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck »


Offline ShadowDog

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2010, 03:47:11 PM »
It's just too bad these deprived children have never heard of or are interested Dark Shadows. That told a love story between a vampire and a mortal in a much more mature, interesting fashion. Even the 90's remake was better written than this Twilight tripe.

Not to mention having Joanna Going in her prime.  ROWL!
"Did she just say Chipping?"


Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2010, 03:55:06 PM »
It's just too bad these deprived children have never heard of or are interested Dark Shadows. That told a love story between a vampire and a mortal in a much more mature, interesting fashion. Even the 90's remake was better written than this Twilight tripe.

Not to mention having Joanna Going in her prime.  ROWL!

Lots of pretty women in that show - both versions.


Offline Cosmic Muse

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2010, 04:18:30 PM »
It's just too bad these deprived children have never heard of or are interested Dark Shadows. That told a love story between a vampire and a mortal in a much more mature, interesting fashion. Even the 90's remake was better written than this Twilight tripe.

Not to mention having Joanna Going in her prime.  ROWL!

Lots of pretty women in that show - both versions.

Well not just that but they were really good actresses as well.
Being a genocidal maniac is not one of my turn ons.

Is it weird to hear the Safety Dance in my head watching Game of Thrones?


Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Re: Roger Ebert reviews New Moon.
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2010, 04:29:04 PM »
It's just too bad these deprived children have never heard of or are interested Dark Shadows. That told a love story between a vampire and a mortal in a much more mature, interesting fashion. Even the 90's remake was better written than this Twilight tripe.

Not to mention having Joanna Going in her prime.  ROWL!

Lots of pretty women in that show - both versions.

Well not just that but they were really good actresses as well.

Don't know about the remake (although Jean Simmons and Barbara Steele are a given) but definitely in the original.