What Paranormal crap did you learn?!

[Thrifty]

Maybe a strong fear of goats is why that moron in Drag Me To Hell missed so badly in swinging at something that was right the hell in front of him!

No, that was just bad writing.

[ScottotD]

Maybe a strong fear of goats is why that moron in Drag Me To Hell missed so badly in swinging at something that was right the hell in front of him!

No, that was just bad writing.

*humour

[RobtheBarbarian]

Yes, bad humor.

[CJones]

When the expert you hired to tell you what to do explicitly tells you not to do something, you probably shouldn't do it.

If most of your hauntings take place in one bedroom, do NOT sleep in one of the other two bedrooms you inexplicably have. Or, for that matter, ever leave the house.

Also, why hire one attractive woman when you can hire one somewhat-chubby girl and one way-too-skinny girl, that average together to make one attractive woman? 

[LucasM]

I learned that if you've been experiencing increasingly frightening paranormal visitations your entire life, that it is best to wait until you are living alone with a petulant child of a boyfriend/husband before you seriously think about contacting a 'professional' to help you get rid of the visitation.

I learned that you should tolerate your boyfriend/husband's repeatedly aggravating the thing making your life hell with the occasional nagging rather than telling him to get the fuck out of the house if he's going to be such a stupid prick.

I learned that by Micah being killed first that demons at least have reasonable priorities for their actions.

[Tony Farms AKA Puma Man]

Yeah, I learned that



GAH BOOBZ BY GAWD

 

[LucasM]

I learned that I have a theory: anyone else think that people around these parts have a tendency to smacktalk a movie just because it gets riffed? I realize that some people just flat out don't like a movie and that taste is incredibly subjective, but it seems sometimes that around here it's similar to hipster backlash (suddenly hating a movie once it's popular) but more along the lines of sucking up to the riffers because they didn't like it (or seemingly didn't like it). It happened with Drag to Hell and a bunch of others. There seems to be a need to declare "This is the worst movie of all time! Glad you're putting it in its place!" and sometimes it's a bit disingenuous.

I've put next to no thought in this. I like to think that comes across very clearly in the above paragraph.

I think the issue is more likely to be that people watch a movie with a lot of hype that they don't like (whether it is because - like this one - it actually is a bad movie, or at other times because the style just wasn't a 'right fit' for them so they think it is 'bad').  Then, if people are raving about how good it is these people have nowhere to vent themselves until a RiffTrax is released.  Then they 'over-rag' on it because it has built up in them so long.

But there are films - like this, and Drag Me to Hell - that actually do suck because they have so many internal inconsistencies (both in rationale for actions and in filmmaking itself).

There are at least a dozen films that have been riffed that I owned before the RiffTrax was released (and more where I had no qualms at all about buying them, as I thought they were 'pretty good' to begin with).  But there have been a large number where I bought the films and RiffTrax 'cold' and was fully satisfied.  With Drag Me to Hell shortly followed by this film, I am thinking seriously about renting newly released RiffTrax'ed films before buying them, as I can't afford to spend $14 for a film/RiffTrax combo I'll watch once and never again.  [The only film up until these two that had this negative a reaction from me was Troll 2, so there was never a need to 'pre-screen' films prior to buying them until this latest batch.]

[mrgray]

If most of your hauntings take place in one bedroom, do NOT sleep in one of the other two bedrooms you inexplicably have. Or, for that matter, ever leave the house.

Also, why hire one attractive woman when you can hire one somewhat-chubby girl and one way-too-skinny girl, that average together to make one attractive woman? 

First, the psychic/medium told Katie, and this was supported by what she said about her childhood home, that it didn't matter where SHE went, the demon would continue to follow her.  Did you see when they were talking about staying in a hotel and Katie made the deduction/reasoning that it wouldn't matter, because the demon isn't haunting the house, it's haunting HER?  It didn't matter which bedroom they moved to or where they went after they left the house.  The demon was going to continue messing with her.

Second, it's bad for horror movies to objectify women by making them the objects of pain/stalking/torture (your position in the Drag Me thread), but it's cool to rag on the weights of the actresses?  Hrm.  There's a kettle on line 1 for you, pot.

[ShadowDog]

Let me ask you this, Mr.Gray.  What would it have hurt to leave the house and go somewhere else?  Worst case scenario, the demon keeps fucking with them, right?  Nothing lost.  Well, until the stabbing starts, anyway.

So it was worth doing.  Also, I think it would have been worth getting some more people involved.  Some friends, assuming they had more than the one.  Get a half dozen friends over, they can chill and hang out in your bedroom while you two get some much needed sleep.  If Kate Hulks out then there's enough people there to wrestle her to the ground or whatever.  Not ideal, no, but if they could have gotten a couple nights' sleep with no problems maybe the demon would have chillaxed.  Again, worth trying in my mind.

[mrgray]

Let me ask you this, Mr.Gray.  What would it have hurt to leave the house and go somewhere else?  Worst case scenario, the demon keeps fucking with them, right?  Nothing lost.  Well, until the stabbing starts, anyway.

So it was worth doing.  Also, I think it would have been worth getting some more people involved.  Some friends, assuming they had more than the one.  Get a half dozen friends over, they can chill and hang out in your bedroom while you two get some much needed sleep.  If Kate Hulks out then there's enough people there to wrestle her to the ground or whatever.  Not ideal, no, but if they could have gotten a couple nights' sleep with no problems maybe the demon would have chillaxed.  Again, worth trying in my mind.

You have to balance what makes sense to us as people with what is narratively satisfying and what is practical.  Sure, they could have gone to a hotel, but since the result would have been the same, as established several times, then going to a hotel would only have been a waste of screen time.  And  it would have taken the movie out of the claustrophobia of their house.  And it would have complicated the production of the film.  So no, it wasn't worth doing.  Yes, something would be lost (tone, screen time, budget).  Same with getting more people involved.  Maybe the demon would have gone away for a while, but eventually it was going to return to torment her.  And again you have a waste of screen time, budget (paying additional actors), and tone (think Micah was douchey?  What about a half-dozen frat brothers?)

[LucasM]

If most of your hauntings take place in one bedroom, do NOT sleep in one of the other two bedrooms you inexplicably have. Or, for that matter, ever leave the house.

First, the psychic/medium told Katie, and this was supported by what she said about her childhood home, that it didn't matter where SHE went, the demon would continue to follow her.  Did you see when they were talking about staying in a hotel and Katie made the deduction/reasoning that it wouldn't matter, because the demon isn't haunting the house, it's haunting HER?  It didn't matter which bedroom they moved to or where they went after they left the house.  The demon was going to continue messing with her.

Yes I heard that.  When apparently a large number of people (inlcuding MK&B?) didn't.  But she was too codependent/stupid/whatever to tell her boyfriend to get the fuck out of the house, or leave him behind when she left.  Then the demon - which apparently had haunted her without serious incident for 23-25 years - wouldn't have escalated things from him being an asshole.  Until he started doing shit like filming and trying a Ouija board, the worst thing they really experienced was the occasional noise.  BFD.  And they only had to hold out for what?  Three or four days til the vacationing demon exorciser got back?

They brought it on themselves, so I don't give a shit about either of them.  If you can't possibly care about the characters, there is no possibility for suspense.  And the film falls apart.

[ShadowDog]

You have to balance what makes sense to us as people with what is narratively satisfying and what is practical.  Sure, they could have gone to a hotel, but since the result would have been the same, as established several times, then going to a hotel would only have been a waste of screen time.  And  it would have taken the movie out of the claustrophobia of their house.  And it would have complicated the production of the film.  So no, it wasn't worth doing.  Yes, something would be lost (tone, screen time, budget).  Same with getting more people involved.  Maybe the demon would have gone away for a while, but eventually it was going to return to torment her.  And again you have a waste of screen time, budget (paying additional actors), and tone (think Micah was douchey?  What about a half-dozen frat brothers?)

Yeah, that's a good point.  Especially about the douchy frat brothers.  LMFAO  Although I can say it wouldn't have cost any more money except what you might have had to feed them.  Extras are easy to get for indie films as long as you ask twice as many to come as you actually need because so many of them flake out on you.  They could have gotten some frat douches for free.  But, as you mention, would we have wanted that?

[CJones]

If most of your hauntings take place in one bedroom, do NOT sleep in one of the other two bedrooms you inexplicably have. Or, for that matter, ever leave the house.

Also, why hire one attractive woman when you can hire one somewhat-chubby girl and one way-too-skinny girl, that average together to make one attractive woman? 

First, the psychic/medium told Katie, and this was supported by what she said about her childhood home, that it didn't matter where SHE went, the demon would continue to follow her.  Did you see when they were talking about staying in a hotel and Katie made the deduction/reasoning that it wouldn't matter, because the demon isn't haunting the house, it's haunting HER?  It didn't matter which bedroom they moved to or where they went after they left the house.  The demon was going to continue messing with her.

Second, it's bad for horror movies to objectify women by making them the objects of pain/stalking/torture (your position in the Drag Me thread), but it's cool to rag on the weights of the actresses?  Hrm.  There's a kettle on line 1 for you, pot.

This will be my only response to this:

Dear God, did you just compare my admittedly lame attempt at humor and/or the fact I actually have an opinion about how women look to torturing them?!. (That was a rhetorical question by the way).

That is not cool.

And yes, I did realize the demon was haunting her, not the house (or the room). Like I said, it was a lame attempt at humor.

[cfkane]

I learned that after watching this movie, Lars Von Trier's Antichrist will seem like The Sound of Music.

[Vent]

I learned that there really are people who believe that movies shot on a home camera are documentaries of real occurrences, even when the movie has multiple endings.