login

Author Topic: I just can't do it!  (Read 17286 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Tarantulas

  • The FBI Pays Me to Surf
  • *
  • Posts: 2622
  • Liked: 3
  • #97 Rifftrax Fan in the World!
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #15 on: September 02, 2006, 12:45:14 PM »
Careful, its possible that there is "film star" with a name like "Thom Cruize" and you could end up with "Tales of the Cock - Vol 30"

Which possibly could be a series on poultry production, but you don't want to take that chance.


Offline starfighter

  • Big Montana
  • *****
  • Posts: 713
  • Liked: 1
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #16 on: September 02, 2006, 03:00:52 PM »
  Just look them dead in the eye and say, " I want to watch Cocktail, and I will be making fun of it every second."  or make up a bad-movie party that everyone has to bring a flick to, with the voted-upon winner getting a fabulous prize.
   Or do like I did, luck out on eBay and get 3 Bruise-Cruise movies for $0.99 plus shipping.  I'm ready when they do Top Gun.


Offline kodiakthejuggler

  • Dragon Ryder
  • ***
  • Posts: 6056
  • Liked: 0
  • >Insert Obscure Reference<
    • It's All Geek To Me
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #17 on: October 11, 2006, 11:05:39 AM »

Sometimes I think Mike puts us through this as a test of our love and devotion.  It's like, "What's worse than making a guy buy tampons?  Ah, asking for 'Cocktail.'  Let's see if we can get them to rent 'The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood!'" 

That's probably why the forums are called "The Roundtable"-- like Arthur's knights of old, we must pass many tests of valor and strength. 


My dear LadyKenobi, you have spoken a truth I will take to my grave!

I know I'm late with this post, as the Cocktail Rifftrax has been out for a while, but I am just now watching it, and I cannot believe just how horrible this movie is! Without Mike's commentary, I find myself wanting to inflict great pain upon myself to counteract the torture that is Cocktail. Put an ugly guy in Cruise's place and an ugly girl in Shue's place, and you've got a film that's almost as bad as Crossroads!!!

Plus, Mike wants us to get just the smallest taste of the pain he must endure while actually watching, nay, SCRUTINIZING these films with a microscope. What a brave soul...


Offline SaucyRossy

  • The FBI Pays Me to Surf
  • *
  • Posts: 2637
  • Liked: 0
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #18 on: October 11, 2006, 01:34:50 PM »
without Mike's soothing voice I might of gone insane watching Cocktail....it's......so....bad.

www.rifftraxfan.com - Check out Gammers RiffTrax Fan page!


Offline kodiakthejuggler

  • Dragon Ryder
  • ***
  • Posts: 6056
  • Liked: 0
  • >Insert Obscure Reference<
    • It's All Geek To Me
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #19 on: October 11, 2006, 01:40:18 PM »
I have to admit, the movie did get a little better towards the end, when all the $#!+ hit the fan...


but all in all, it was pretty terrible.


Offline davo

  • Magneto-cent Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 347
  • Liked: 0
  • are you asking for a challlllenge?!!!!1!1!one!!1!
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2006, 07:54:38 PM »
you think this one was difficult? wait til you do crossroads!


Offline macleod

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1076
  • Liked: 0
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #21 on: February 21, 2007, 02:38:16 PM »
I know this is an archaic thread, but I did the "cocktail" request yesterday.... I seriously started defending the reason I bought it to the guy at the cash register...

Let's not do that again...


Offline AmandaGal

  • Mayor of Nilbog
  • *****
  • Posts: 3435
  • Liked: 14
  • Every new beginning starts with an end
    • Little Rock Information
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #22 on: February 21, 2007, 07:02:06 PM »
I guess I should feel sorry for you guys.  It's no big deal for me to rent Cocktail or any other cruise movie. Heck, I can even get away with Crossroads without a second chance.

Chicks are lucky!
�mike5150� how tall are you?.....in gallons?


Offline sarcasm_made_Easy

  • Compsognathus
  • *****
  • Posts: 10320
  • Liked: 15
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #23 on: February 21, 2007, 07:23:05 PM »
Quote
I guess I should feel sorry for you guys.  It's no big deal for me to rent Cocktail or any other cruise movie. Heck, I can even get away with Crossroads without a second chance.

Chicks are lucky!

that is the SADDEST definition of luck i have EVER heard.  pakky just go buy it.  for whatever stupid reason walmart and best buy carry it, its usually the price of one or two rentals anyways, and its probably my favorite riff so far, mostly because my best friend is a bartender but still funny.


Offline AmandaGal

  • Mayor of Nilbog
  • *****
  • Posts: 3435
  • Liked: 14
  • Every new beginning starts with an end
    • Little Rock Information
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #24 on: February 21, 2007, 07:31:52 PM »
I can list other things being a chick can get you too.  This is just a small one  ;D

It's probably my favorite riff too.  I couldn't stop laughing.
�mike5150� how tall are you?.....in gallons?


Offline Pak-Man

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 17309
  • Liked: 3212
  • Insert $0.25 to Play!
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #25 on: February 21, 2007, 08:41:13 PM »
Well this post was started a very VERY long time ago, before we even knew Crossroads was on the horizon. After Crossroads, I've never had another problem picking up a Rifftrax movie, and I wouldn't think twice about Cocktail anymore. :^)

Just to update, though, I DID eventually pick it up and it IS a fantastic Riff. I've seen 'em all. :^)
« Last Edit: February 21, 2007, 08:43:59 PM by Pak-Man »


Offline sarcasm_made_Easy

  • Compsognathus
  • *****
  • Posts: 10320
  • Liked: 15
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #26 on: February 22, 2007, 09:20:20 AM »
Quote
I can list other things being a chick can get you too.  This is just a small one

true enough.  Ive ALWAYS been amazed at how easy a girl with a pretty smile and low cut shirt can manipulate men, and whats weirder is my brain will be thinking this as i ALLOW THEM to manipulate me.  its bizaar i tells ya. 


Offline macleod

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1076
  • Liked: 0
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #27 on: February 22, 2007, 10:06:41 AM »
Well, really...I can't think of a much more embarrassing (non-adult) movie for a guy to buy other than Crossroads....

...Cocktail is pretty benign by comparison. I actually had seen that one (Crossroads) before the riff came out...all thanks to an (ex) girlfriend who at the time was obssessed with Britney Spears...I also remember how she used my watching the film as blackmail later on...


Offline sarcasm_made_Easy

  • Compsognathus
  • *****
  • Posts: 10320
  • Liked: 15
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #28 on: February 22, 2007, 10:31:16 AM »
Quote
all thanks to an (ex) girlfriend who at the time was obssessed with Britney Spears...


I know your pain man, i know your pain


Offline macleod

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1076
  • Liked: 0
Re: I just can't do it!
« Reply #29 on: February 23, 2007, 09:47:47 AM »
Quote
all thanks to an (ex) girlfriend who at the time was obssessed with Britney Spears...


I know your pain man, i know your pain

But you know, now I believe she's into people like Paris Hilton (how such a thing is possible, I do not know) so I got out while the getting was good...