Author Topic: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....  (Read 1805 times)

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Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« on: January 05, 2010, 11:17:19 AM »
...Captain James T. Kirk in Star Wars: The Wrath of Khan:

KIRK: Khan, you Mautherfaaaahhhker...you have to come down here to kill me.
KHAN: I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you.
KIRK: Everybody betrayed me! I fed up with this world!
KHAN: I shall leave you, as you left me, as you left her...
KIRK: I did not leave her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not leave her! I did not!!!
KHAN: Buried alive! Buried alive!
KIRK: YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!

(I admit freely that I lifted this from a thread on IMDB but I had so much fun making up my post I thought we should try it here too.)


Offline Sideswipe

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2010, 11:50:10 AM »
hahaha, I had a good laugh from that.  Im having a hard time picturing Kirk in a frumpy wrinkled uniform with long greasy stringy hair though.

I was bieng threated with death by wolf raping before it was cool!.


anais.jude

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2010, 11:51:45 AM »
Tommy Wiseau stars as The Dude from "There will be blood"


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Offline Courtney

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2010, 12:03:53 PM »
Tommy Wiseau stars as The Dude from The Big Lebowski (character inspired by anais).

The Dude: Look, stay away from my fahcking lady friend, mahhtherfaahker.
Da Fino: Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.
The Dude: She's not my special lady, she's my fahcking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive. Anything for my priiiinceeeess. Hey, everyone, we are expecting!




Offline D.B. Barnes

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2010, 12:06:21 PM »
Tommy Wiseau stars as Michael Corleone in The Godfather: Part II

"Oh hai Fredo. I know it was you. YOU ARE TEARING ME APART! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART!!! How's your sex life?"
VIVA IL ESORDIO DEL DIABETE ADULTO DUCE!!!


Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2010, 01:26:20 PM »
....Vito Corleone in The Godfather:

CORLEONE: Oh, hai, Bonasara.....Nice tux, you look great!
BONASERA:  She was the light of my life...and they beat her like an animal!!!
CORLEONE:  I did not hit her. It's bullshit!  I did not!  Oh, hai, Bonasara.....Keep in mind, if you have any problems talk to me and I will help you.
BONASERA:  What do you want of me? Tell me anything. But do what I beg you to do.  (whispers something in his ear)
CORLEONE:  Well, we'll see...........Bonasera don't plan to much, it might not turn out.
BONASERA:  Then they can suffer then, as she suffers.  How much shall I pay you?
CORLEONE: Why does everyone betrayed me?
BONASERA:  I didn't want to get into trouble.
CORLEONE: You're just a little chicken. CHEEEEP-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep! CHEEEEEP-cheep-cheep-cheep!
BONASERA:  I ask you for justice.
CORLEONE: Do you understand about life? Do you?
BONASERA:  Be my friend? Godfather?
CORLEONE: I'm so glad I have you for my friend and I love Lisa so much.....


Doctor Who?

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2010, 02:17:46 PM »
....Vito Corleone in The Godfather:

CORLEONE: Oh, hai, Bonasara.....Nice tux, you look great!
BONASERA:  She was the light of my life...and they beat her like an animal!!!
CORLEONE:  I did not hit her. It's bullshit!  I did not!  Oh, hai, Bonasara.....Keep in mind, if you have any problems talk to me and I will help you.
BONASERA:  What do you want of me? Tell me anything. But do what I beg you to do.  (whispers something in his ear)
CORLEONE:  Well, we'll see...........Bonasera don't plan to much, it might not turn out.
BONASERA:  Then they can suffer then, as she suffers.  How much shall I pay you?
CORLEONE: Why does everyone betrayed me?
BONASERA:  I didn't want to get into trouble.
CORLEONE: You're just a little chicken. CHEEEEP-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep! CHEEEEEP-cheep-cheep-cheep!
BONASERA:  I ask you for justice.
CORLEONE: Do you understand about life? Do you?
BONASERA:  Be my friend? Godfather?
CORLEONE: I'm so glad I have you for my friend and I love Lisa so much.....

I laughed so hard my head hit the keyboard!


Offline TeamRAD

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2010, 10:51:50 AM »

...as Hudson in Aliens.

Game over, mautherfahker. Game over. Oh hai, Ripley.

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Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2010, 10:09:04 AM »
Someone posted this in the thread on IMDb....and I'm still wiping tears from my eyes from laughing.   :D

Quote
...as Cruella DeVille in 101 Dalmations

"Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie."


Offline Courtney

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #9 on: January 11, 2010, 11:36:17 AM »
Someone posted this in the thread on IMDb....and I'm still wiping tears from my eyes from laughing.   :D

Quote
...as Cruella DeVille in 101 Dalmations

"Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie."

 :D   :clap:




Doctor Who?

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2010, 08:46:59 PM »


Someone posted this in the thread on IMDb....and I'm still wiping tears from my eyes from laughing.   :D

Quote
...as Cruella DeVille in 101 Dalmations

"Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie."

 :D :D :D :D :D never post something like that again,I can't breath.


Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2010, 09:21:38 PM »
Kicking myself that I didn't think of it.


Offline MSTJedi

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2010, 12:32:33 PM »
Someone posted this in the thread on IMDb....and I'm still wiping tears from my eyes from laughing.   :D

Quote
...as Cruella DeVille in 101 Dalmations

"Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie. Oh hi doggie."

Just imagine him in the wig and fur coat as he says it and it becomes that much funnier . . . or creepier, not sure.



Offline Sass

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Re: Tommy Wiseau stars as.....
« Reply #13 on: March 18, 2010, 11:22:03 PM »
OMG!  I am laughing so hard right now!  This whole thread rocks.  PLEASE someone write something with Wiseau in the role of Torgo.  Or are you just a little chicken?  cheep cheeep cheeep cheeeeeep
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