Author Topic: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists  (Read 3058 times)

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Offline Nergol

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Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« on: December 16, 2009, 03:50:01 PM »
This sounds like it might be kind of a fun read, actually:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1418499757/ref=cm_rdp_product

Shall I take the chance?


Offline wurwolf

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Re: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2009, 03:51:44 PM »
Good Lord. I can't believe this is for real. The reviews are fantastic.  :D

I say yes, take the plunge!
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Offline Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck

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Re: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2009, 10:08:51 PM »
Quote
Trapped under a beam with the countdown ticking away, the monster just on the other side of the battered door, and my friends are trying to free me, I look up at them and yell, "Go on without me. I'll be alright. I'll hold him off while you escape!" And my friends, because they know my sacrifice won't be in vain, make their getaway and when the monster breaks through just as the explosives go off, I know I died saving the lives of my dearest friends.

This has to be a "Garth Marenghi" type of joke....or it's self-published?  Right?


Offline jewishcarpenter

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Re: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2009, 10:22:07 PM »
maggots... maggots, maggots, maggots... and bits of sick.


Offline jewishcarpenter

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Re: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2009, 12:53:24 AM »
You guys should read the fan fiction short stories of Peter Chimaera. Mindblowing!

Quote from: Peter Chimaera
DOOM: Repercussions of Evil

John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.


Offline wurwolf

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Re: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2009, 06:08:03 AM »
Quote
Trapped under a beam with the countdown ticking away, the monster just on the other side of the battered door, and my friends are trying to free me, I look up at them and yell, "Go on without me. I'll be alright. I'll hold him off while you escape!" And my friends, because they know my sacrifice won't be in vain, make their getaway and when the monster breaks through just as the explosives go off, I know I died saving the lives of my dearest friends.

This has to be a "Garth Marenghi" type of joke....or it's self-published?  Right?

It is self-published, yes. Also, if you read the first review (which was probably a better read than the actual book) the guy points out all the words that were used wrong in the book. It's pretty hilarious.

You guys should read the fan fiction short stories of Peter Chimaera. Mindblowing!

I read a fanfic once from a guy named Squirrel King and it read exactly the same way. I wonder if it's the same guy.
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Offline SJP

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Re: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2010, 06:02:41 PM »
I wrote what I loosely term "fan fiction" once.  I use the term 'loosely' because it doesn't involve any sort of weird love trysts between Kirk and Spock, I didn't put myself in it, and I used semicolons when appropriate.  It's actually long enough to be a full length book, and to read it is free.

This guy writes like a 5th grader and demands $33+ for it.

Where is the justice?  Really?

Oh, and I want to say I don't wish to disparage any 5th graders out there, who probably CAN write better than that.  And also, a shout out for the reviews; I haven't read any that funny since Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl. oz.  It's on Amazon, look it up.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2010, 06:08:34 PM by SJP »
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Offline RoninFox

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Re: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2010, 06:23:13 PM »
I wrote what I loosely term "fan fiction" once.  I use the term 'loosely' because it doesn't involve any sort of weird love trysts between Kirk and Spock, I didn't put myself in it, and I used semicolons when appropriate.

Now now, don't judge fan fiction too harshly, it can involve inappropriate heterosexual relations between characters too.
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Re: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2010, 06:47:22 PM »
I wrote what I loosely term "fan fiction" once.  I use the term 'loosely' because it doesn't involve any sort of weird love trysts between Kirk and Spock, I didn't put myself in it, and I used semicolons when appropriate.

Now now, don't judge fan fiction too harshly, it can involve inappropriate heterosexual relations between characters too.

I wonder if someone has written a Buddy Cole having sex with Willow Rosenburg story?


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Re: Meet Aaron Rayburn: The Tommy Wiseau Of Novelists
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2010, 12:18:58 AM »
I especially liked the part where the author said he has pictures of famous serial killers on his wall to inspired him. Among them he lists Jack the Ripper. My guess is he has a picture of Sir Ian Holm in the movie From Hell on his wall.  :)