login

Author Topic: Lowtax reviews on SA  (Read 2053 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline mrbakasan

  • Magneto-cent Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 396
  • Liked: 0
Lowtax reviews on SA
« on: January 29, 2007, 03:34:00 PM »
Given that Lowtax is going to be doing the upcoming Troll 2 rifftrax I thought I'd look up some of the awful movies that he has reviewed.  To my amazement he has reviewed two of the most wretched movies I've seen in quite a while:  Starcrash and Rock N' Roll Nightmare.  Now Rock N' Roll Nighmare was at least fun to watch in its awfulness, but Starcrash was really painful.  It took me two tries to make it all the way through Starcrash, which for those who don't know "stars" David Hasselhoff and Christopher Plummer in the most bizarre Star Wars ripoff of all time.  After reading these I'm looking forward to his rifftrax with Mike.  It will cool to get a new voice on Rifftrax and anyone who can make it all the way through Starcrash has got my respect.


Offline BBQ Platypus

  • Bilbo Baggins Balladeer
  • ******
  • Posts: 4201
  • Liked: 59
  • SURF'S UP, SPACE PONIES!
Re: Lowtax reviews on SA
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2007, 03:56:26 PM »
Ah, yes.  Starcrash.  Featuring the most ridiculous, absurd, proposterous (it's ridicusurdposterous!) scene since the "Bat Shark-Repellent" in the Adam West Batman movie!  It involves...er, just watch.  Unless you can't view things in .wma format, in which case, burn in hell.

Hey, did you hear the one about the torpedo that crashed into a spaceship through a conveniently-placed plate glass window?  And instead of exploding, MEN came out of it!?  Oh, wait.  That wasn't a joke.  That scene was actually IN THE MOVIE STARCRASH!
« Last Edit: January 29, 2007, 04:05:16 PM by BBQ Platypus »
Correction: the coat hanger should be upside down.


Offline mrbasehart

  • Steals from Casinos
  • *****
  • Posts: 16364
  • Liked: 2112
  • Movie-Watching Machine
Re: Lowtax reviews on SA
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2007, 06:00:24 PM »
^

Those evil golden sperm were violating that poor mothership!


Offline Thom_Serveaux

  • Bilbo Baggins Balladeer
  • ******
  • Posts: 4035
  • Liked: 1
  • *Platypus Sound*
Re: Lowtax reviews on SA
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2007, 09:23:20 PM »
Omigod! that was horrible... that was more like a bad Commando Cody/Sapce Mutiny ripoff.  I was waiting for a good old fashioned 'railing kill' (or at least some explosive decompression) Ghaaaa! It burns us IT BURNS UUUUUUSSS!!!!


Offline Fuzzy Necromancer

  • Not Hurt By Pain
  • ******
  • Posts: 1914
  • Liked: 15
Re: Lowtax reviews on SA
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2007, 05:54:05 AM »
Anybody else think the name Lowtax sounds a little like the name for an elder troll-king of planet Durzong?

Ah, I kid. I'm not sure to what degree this "Lowtax" is connected with the attendant fans of somethingawful.com. I recall somewhat vividly when a forum I frequent got a link to it posted on SA, and it was besieged by entities that seemed to be highly malevolent office potted plants that learned to type expletives.
Anyway, they probably don't represent the SA population at large (I hope), and you need somebody with a lot of willful mental massicism to sit through Troll 2.
Love doesn't hurt. It kills.

"Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine."


Offline Bob

  • Afraid of the Wind
  • Posts: 21333
  • Liked: 2405
  • Complete waste of time at www.robertpreed.com
    • My Stunning Home Page
Re: Lowtax reviews on SA
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2007, 06:05:25 AM »
That was hillarious!

I hope NASA has not put any plate glass windows on the international space station.   


Offline Nunyerbiz

  • Mayor of Nilbog
  • *****
  • Posts: 3400
  • Liked: 953
Re: Lowtax reviews on SA
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2007, 07:31:00 AM »

In defense of the movie Starcrash (I cannot believe I just typed that):

Star Destoyers and the Enterprise have windows. If you don't want to blow up the ship, but take control... I'm sure there are crazier ideas than breaching these weak points to gain entrance. Of course, a crazy space vacuum should have sucked all the air out of the room along with anything else not bolted down... but that's not really the point.


Offline BBQ Platypus

  • Bilbo Baggins Balladeer
  • ******
  • Posts: 4201
  • Liked: 59
  • SURF'S UP, SPACE PONIES!
Re: Lowtax reviews on SA
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2007, 02:46:37 PM »

In defense of the movie Starcrash (I cannot believe I just typed that):

Star Destoyers and the Enterprise have windows. If you don't want to blow up the ship, but take control... I'm sure there are crazier ideas than breaching these weak points to gain entrance. Of course, a crazy space vacuum should have sucked all the air out of the room along with anything else not bolted down... but that's not really the point.

Nope.  All they were trying to do was kill the bad guy, who wasn't even 50 feet away from the plate glass window.  If that torpedo had been filled with baking soda and vinegar it would have killed him, much less a real explosive.  Hell, if it hadn't been filled with ANYTHING it would have killed him.
Correction: the coat hanger should be upside down.


Offline Nunyerbiz

  • Mayor of Nilbog
  • *****
  • Posts: 3400
  • Liked: 953
Re: Lowtax reviews on SA
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2007, 05:32:53 PM »
While I do not withdraw my overall argument that many spaceships in Sci-Fi movies feature windows that serve no real purpose... I will withdraw this point in regards to defending Starcrash.