Auto-thoughts?

[Kete]

I would now like to say, completely unrelated to the above, that I thought the joke about the frat guy's response about finding a tighter shirt was pretty funny.

I agree this was the only thing that I laughed at when I saw the movie.  I saw this in the theater, and the whole time, the audience was laughing hysterically.  I kept looking around wondering what was going on.  Then the tight shirt joke came.  I laughed out loud, and the rest of the audience was crickets chirping.

Boy, that sounds a lot like the time I went to the theater to see Date Movie.  Except instead of laughing, I walked out of the theater.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0Yew7a2120

[jojoe55]

The riff was ok given the source material, but I think the first transformer riff was a little better.  Then again it has to be hard to riff a movie as incoherrent as this.  Trasformers 2 had to be the worst 'blockbuster' movie I've ever seen.  I mean Twister and even D-war were better movies than this. 

[dalem]

I agree with the detractors.  And I noticed, and maybe I'm wrong, that this one has a VERY high "riff density".  It seemed as if the lads never wanted to let the movie get a word in edgewise, and while it bugged me for two seconds, I quickly came to enjoy it.  The actual dialogue and soundtrack is completely unnecessary.  I am going to try the first 20 minutes or so with RT+the movie sound turned down and see if it's better.

-dale

[dvorak]

I also agree, this movie was terrible for a variety of reasons, which I will rant about shortly.

Also, his amazing record aside, Frank Welker, according to Billy West, apparently can do the sounds for an entire flock of geese in one take.

I think some of the funniest riffs were in Soundwave's scenes (the part where he was taking over the other satellite almost had me in tears. I mean I kind of saw it coming, but that only seemed to make it funnier.) The riffs were over a lot of the dialogue, but I didn't mind at all. A lot of Bay-bashing, but it is well earned, they also point out a lot of things that are just very true (Was there a small army of Megatrons at the end of the movie? Who actually could tell who was who?). The "Go Go Go" thing did get old, but remember that you would have gotten the exact same amount from LeBeef if you watch it un-riffed just stretched out over a longer period of time.

On to the ranting:
1. the Fallen was a joke
2. the Doomsday Weapon was a joke
3. some of them can magically teleport now
4. did they even mention Energon in the first movie?
4. the Presidential aid and Jetfire were only in the movie to spout exposition or to act as a MacGuffin
6. MICHAEL BAY SAVED SKORPONOK IN THE FIRST FILM FOR A THREE AND A HALF SECOND CAMEO?

(Yes, I'm also a Beast Wars fan, which featured no humans at all, and yes, the line lengths above were carefully reordered because I'm neurotic)

The most horrifying thought of all is that there will be a sequel to THIS movie.

Alright, the end of this rant in a moment.

The most irritating thing is that they almost, just barely, started to introduce some depth with Jetfire but abandoned it for a comical rant and a cheap fart joke. HE SWITCHED SIDES, which means that all Decepticons are not necessarily evil, and yet Optimus and all the 'Good Guys' seem to enjoy tearing their heads in two more than trying to talk with them. The sides, of any argument, should never be so incredibly distinct. The was a thin sliver of hope for something redeeming in this movie's plot that LITERALLY up and vanished like a fart in the wind.

To sum it all up: (In Soundwave/Dr. Claw Voice) CURSE YOU, MICHAEL BAY! CURSE YOU!
 

[skenderberg]

The twins are not racist. They are taking on earth teen/early 20s culture. I've seen white kids act like that more than black.

So they were this...



...only in stereo.

Either way they sucked....as did this entire film

For the record, this is racist too.  White kids who think they'll look "tough" if they imitate an offensive African-American stereotype, like a minstrel show for the new century.

[skenderberg]

I thought the riff was decent, but far from their usual gold. Too much padding in this riff with constant noises jokes like the "Whoa Whoa Whoa.." stuff. That got old fast. A little too much bitching as well. They did have good jokes, but for me it was a little too much negative and filler like the Disembaudio Energy Balls bit. Went on way too long. Couldn't come up with a joke could ya guys?

The Energy Balls discussion happened during the horrific physics lecture scene, during which every molecule of my being cringed with embarrassment for everyone involved.  I was quite happy to be distracted by Disembaudio's irrelevant interjections.  The Shia-esque jabbering riffs happened during the loudest 'splosionfests.  Should they have been doing subtle and clever references to Proust?  How would we even have heard them well enough to follow them if they did?  As for them being overly negative, well, did we see the same movie?  A two and a half hour jumble of loud and offensive vignettes with no central story to tie them together?  I can't think of a single nice thing to say about it.

I agree that there was a lot of filler in the riff.  I also agree that this not, riffologically speaking, ideal.  For this particular movie, I don't see that they could have done otherwise. 

[NYFalcon1981]

Not only are the robots generally visually indistinguishable, they didn't have any personalities either. Even if you could tell them apart it wouldn't matter because most of them don't have a single line of dialogue that makes them anything but flat, generic cannon fodder.

I grew up watching transformers and my wife kept asking me, "who is that guy?" I just shrugged and told her I'm not sure. Shouldn't the characters at least be recognizable by the geeky audience? One thing that annoyed me was the stupid transforming cane the old transformer had. There is absolutely no room for subtlety in the movie.

Despite everything retarded... there were a couple throwback references I enjoyed. It's too bad he didn't stick to the basics of the old series and lost the bathroom humor. The stupid shar/energy/exploding sun thing really made no sense. Before this movie came out I remember michael bay stating in an interview its a very dark and serious movie. I guess to him... this is a dramatic movie! I sure hope he doesn't try making the next one into a comedy.

My thoughts EXACTLY... I've had to tell friends/various girls who which grey blobs on screen the characters are supposed to be.

Why didn't Bay just stick with the simple story, instead we get 14 extra human characters, 28 robots of whom we can tell who 3 are supposed to be (bumble bee, Optimus and ravage cuz he's a cat?)....... why do robots FART?!!
and why do the parents say shit twice in the first 30 minutes of a kids movie!?

(I'm all for having hints/homages/fan service/whatever for us older fans such as: one of the kitchen bots looks ALOT like a sharkticon from the Animated movie, The nemisis (the ship from Beast Wars G1 is shown when starscream and someone argue in space) and Jetfire+Optimus = Optimal Optimus.......)


 grrrr so much money on this while I the genius accountant/writer/laugh bringer is looking for ANY and all work.... Rant over thank you Mike, Bill, Kevin and who ever else worked on this riff but the film itself just gets me so frustrated!

[PlayMSTie]

WOW, this movie was CRINGEWORTHILY bad.  You all did try to tell me -- the riffers even died in the attempt to warn us -- but I could not believe any movie could be that bad. (Except Troll 2, but this one ranks a close second. Maybe a photo finish.) I thought it was never going to end, and the noise was absolutely incessant. If it wasn't "yap yap yap" it was BOOM CRASH POW, all the freaking time. If I tried to hear what was going on in the movie, to get SOME idea of what in blazes was supposed to be gong on, I'd miss a riff, and if I tried to pay attention to the riffs, I'd miss something in the movie and not get what the riff was about. I give the guys credit for managing to do anything at all with this piece of crap.

[esoobaC .T bocaJ]

now, I haven't seen this movie in a while, but if I remember correctly
Eyore ripped off Candyman's face
Frank Welker had sex with a satellite
Kevin Michael Richardson was a Robot God
and Megan Fox was hot in her really short shorts

and yet, all of this could not make the movie awesome, such a waste

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

Why didn't Bay just stick with the simple story, instead we get 14 extra human characters, 28 robots of whom we can tell who 3 are supposed to be (bumble bee, Optimus and ravage cuz he's a cat?).......

Because it's misdirection.  If you're too busy being distracted every few seconds by something new in the frame - the theory goes - you won't notice that the plot, dialogue and acting sucks.

why do robots FART?!!

Evidently, robots run on internal combustion....that was a backfire.   

[RoninFox]

The most irritating thing is that they almost, just barely, started to introduce some depth with Jetfire but abandoned it for a comical rant and a cheap fart joke. HE SWITCHED SIDES, which means that all Decepticons are not necessarily evil, and yet Optimus and all the 'Good Guys' seem to enjoy tearing their heads in two more than trying to talk with them. The sides, of any argument, should never be so incredibly distinct. The was a thin sliver of hope for something redeeming in this movie's plot that LITERALLY up and vanished like a fart in the wind.

Don't sell this too short, it also led to John Leguizamocon realizing that he doesn't need to be evil either, and can instead dedicate himself to the ideal of humping Megan Fox's leg.

[Candle Jack]

#1 I was amazing while watching the credits that the transformers were all voiced by DIFFERENT people.
#2 The best Dis singing hands down.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

#1 I was amazing while watching the credits....

Modest, aren't we?   

[Candle Jack]

#1 I was amazing while watching the credits....

Modest, aren't we?   

I meant amazed, but let's be honest, I'm always amazing. 

[dvorak]

The most irritating thing is that they almost, just barely, started to introduce some depth with Jetfire but abandoned it for a comical rant and a cheap fart joke. HE SWITCHED SIDES, which means that all Decepticons are not necessarily evil, and yet Optimus and all the 'Good Guys' seem to enjoy tearing their heads in two more than trying to talk with them. The sides, of any argument, should never be so incredibly distinct. The was a thin sliver of hope for something redeeming in this movie's plot that LITERALLY up and vanished like a fart in the wind.

Don't sell this too short, it also led to John Leguizamocon realizing that he doesn't need to be evil either, and can instead dedicate himself to the ideal of humping Megan Fox's leg.

Indeed. Perhaps in one of the next ones all the Decepticons will eventually adopt this philosophy and accidentally hump Megan Fox's character to death.