What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!

[Bob]

I guess I was puzzled when they had the legend of the dragons appearing every 500 years.    The "500 years ago" graphic showed up when the original girl was being born.    But then they dont reappear until the new girl is 20 years old...... meaning they really appear every 520 years, or so, or whenever they want.

[goflyblind]

continuity is the least of their worries.

[Tyrant]

I learned that a flashback inside of another flashback inside of another flashback inside of another flashback and then a giant dragon destroying a city really confuses me.

[Bob]

continuity is the least of their worries.

Ha-ha, true!

But still, that is pretty glaring.   

[NRRork]

I just watched it for a second time, and here's something I seriously learned: That movie is only an hour and twenty-two minutes long! (That's excluding credits-- I'm kinda surprised it has credits. I mean, that seems more like something the cast and crew would want to keep secret.)

What the HELL, man?

I was showing this to a friend of mine just now, we sat through the movie, it felt like a fricking eternity because although I thought the riffing was funny, the movie SUCKED, and... Mike and the guys always joke about certain movies feeling longer than they really are, but usually they're just being coy. This one REALLY FELT A HELL OF A LOT LONGER.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I guess I was puzzled when they had the legend of the dragons appearing every 500 years.    The "500 years ago" graphic showed up when the original girl was being born.    But then they don't reappear until the new girl is 20 years old...... meaning they really appear every 520 years, or so, or whenever they want.

Actually, it's every 500 years the girls are born then they turn 20 and everybody shows up to fight over her (Mike talked over that).  So the births and the 20th birthdays are 500 years apart each.

And the whole thing about saving the one girl over all those people dying is that if the bad dragon (whatever it's name was - the black one in the fight) gets to eat her, the world (earth) is destroyed - and then those other people die along with everyone else anyway.

But if the good one (the silver one) gets to eat her, it becomes more powerful and can protect the universe.  And it's has the decency to get teary eyed on the heroes behalf that it had to take his girlfriend away.

And this looks like compared to what Michael Bay puts out.

[LucasM]

Actually, it's every 500 years the girls are born then they turn 20 and everybody shows up to fight over her (Mike talked over that).  So the births and the 20th birthdays are 500 years apart each.

And the whole thing about saving the one girl over all those people dying is that if the bad dragon (whatever it's name was - the black one in the fight) gets to eat her, the world (earth) is destroyed - and then those other people die along with everyone else anyway.

But if the good one (the silver one) gets to eat her, it becomes more powerful and can protect the universe.  And it's has the decency to get teary eyed on the heroes behalf that it had to take his girlfriend away.

And this looks like compared to what Michael Bay puts out.

Honestly, despite what I write about below, I have immense amounts of respect for Mike, Kevin and Bill, and for what they do.  Generally their work is the most intelligent humor, based on the widest range of subjects, that is available in anything shy of a book.  That said...

This explanation from Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck just shows one of the things that happens in occasional RiffTrax that bothers me almost as much as simulated physical violence responding to the art of a pun.  And that is: a put-down riff in a RiffTrax for a supposedly 'confusing element' that is actually something that is clearly explained in the dialogue (or shown visually on-screen, or can be easily figured out deductively).  Making fun of ACTUAL logical flaws/plot holes/etc. is perfectly fine by me, and often hilarious, but making a riff for something you just happened to have talked over the top of?  That is more irritating than entertaining.

Luckily for me that is a tiny fraction of their overall riffing.

[Bob]

Actually, it's every 500 years the girls are born then they turn 20 and everybody shows up to fight over her (Mike talked over that).  So the births and the 20th birthdays are 500 years apart each.

And the whole thing about saving the one girl over all those people dying is that if the bad dragon (whatever it's name was - the black one in the fight) gets to eat her, the world (earth) is destroyed - and then those other people die along with everyone else anyway.

But if the good one (the silver one) gets to eat her, it becomes more powerful and can protect the universe.  And it's has the decency to get teary eyed on the heroes behalf that it had to take his girlfriend away.

And this looks like compared to what Michael Bay puts out.

Honestly, despite what I write about below, I have immense amounts of respect for Mike, Kevin and Bill, and for what they do.  Generally their work is the most intelligent humor, based on the widest range of subjects, that is available in anything shy of a book.  That said...

This explanation from Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck just shows one of the things that happens in occasional RiffTrax that bothers me almost as much as simulated physical violence responding to the art of a pun.  And that is: a put-down riff in a RiffTrax for a supposedly 'confusing element' that is actually something that is clearly explained in the dialogue (or shown visually on-screen, or can be easily figured out deductively).  Making fun of ACTUAL logical flaws/plot holes/etc. is perfectly fine by me, and often hilarious, but making a riff for something you just happened to have talked over the top of?  That is more irritating than entertaining.

Luckily for me that is a tiny fraction of their overall riffing.

Actually, I think that was me who was confused and not Mike and the Boys.........

I may not have been paying enough attention to this wonderful feature film, but I could have sworn the 500 year gap was between the first girl being born and the new girl becoming 20.

[goflyblind]

narrator: ...every five hundred years a young woman is born...
mike: sometimes even more frequently than that.

[Bob]

narrator: ...every five hundred years a young woman is born...
mike: sometimes even more frequently than that.

Well, that joke was pointing out that 50% of the population is female so, "a young woman" is born more often then that.

[Thrifty]

And the whole thing about saving the one girl over all those people dying is that if the bad dragon (whatever it's name was - the black one in the fight) gets to eat her, the world (earth) is destroyed - and then those other people die along with everyone else anyway.

Yeah, but does the bad dragon have to eat her alive?  If that one agent had succeeded in killing her, the whole crisis would have ended.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

narrator: ...every five hundred years a young woman is born...
mike: sometimes even more frequently than that.

Well, that joke was pointing out that 50% of the population is female so, "a young woman" is born more often then that.

Yeah, but if Mike hadn't stepped on it she then says "A woman who possesses a spirit power that can turn a serpent into the mightiest dragon of all."

Explaining that they were talking about a specific woman and explaining why the snake instead of dragon and so forth....pretty important to the story.

(yeah, the line probably should have "Every five hundred years a special young woman is born..." but when they were writing it they weren't expecting someone to be stepping on their introduction and drowning it out.)

If that one agent had succeeded in killing her, the whole crisis would have ended.

Yeah, but then the good serpent - who would be helpful to the universe - had to go without being a dragon for another 500 years.

And the guy did keep hoping that there was a way to help the good serpent/dragon AND keep her alive....

[LucasM]

Actually, I think that was me who was confused and not Mike and the Boys.........

I may not have been paying enough attention to this wonderful feature film, but I could have sworn the 500 year gap was between the first girl being born and the new girl becoming 20.

What I was referring to was their comments during the riff: THEY have commented at various times during various films (not just this one) about things that were explained in the narrative.  [And them talking over something, then commenting on what was 'missing' was likely why you thought something had been missed by the filmmakers: you were listening to them, not the narrative.]

Don't get me wrong, the film had some serious flaws (having a plot that could have been accomplished in less time than the flashback lasted, for one).  But just not some of these.

If that one agent had succeeded in killing her, the whole crisis would have ended.

Yeah, but then the good serpent - who would be helpful to the universe - had to go without being a dragon for another 500 years.

And the guy did keep hoping that there was a way to help the good serpent/dragon AND keep her alive....

Good points PS-CD, that the good dragon would not be able to 'protect the universe' until whatever transfer from her 'core' happened, and the whole cycle would keep repeating every 500 years any time the girl died before it was finished (which, apparently, was the norm).  So some of the plot points that the riffers riffed on as if they weren't there, they had actually just talked over the top of, and were actually covered by the voice-over.  So some seemingly major 'gaps' in the plot didn't actually exist.  [Others still did.]

Again, not enough to make it a good film, but like you I do think focus should be on where it actually WAS lacking.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

What I was referring to was their comments during the riff: THEY have commented at various times during various films (not just this one) about things that were explained in the narrative.  [And them talking over something, then commenting on what was 'missing' was likely why you thought something had been missed by the filmmakers: you were listening to them, not the narrative.]

Hell, I mentioned in the board for The Room.....Lisa and "Beardo" are sitting on the stairs, Beardo says he's Johnny's best friend.  A few lines later Lisa says, "You're Johnny's best friend" to which Mike says, "How did she know that?" - nothing sardonic or sarcastic in his voice at all.

[Bob]

the funny part is, we have all expended more mental energy on this than the writers did......