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Author Topic: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!  (Read 11478 times)

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Offline Thrifty

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #15 on: October 11, 2009, 11:13:18 AM »
I learned that this was the longest video game cut scene EVER.  Wait...it was a MOVIE?  Dear god... :o

Ha ha. 


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2009, 12:05:25 PM »

I learned that this was the longest video game cut scene EVER.  Wait...it was a MOVIE?  Dear god... :o


Imagine how bad the video game would have been...



Offline LucasM

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #17 on: October 11, 2009, 01:27:08 PM »
I learned that our hero needs to lay off the Diazepam


 :clap:
To dispel some of the misconceptions about head injuries you have developed from watching movies and TV, I wrote this: ...Some Information on Head Injury Effects


Offline FBX

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #18 on: October 11, 2009, 04:21:06 PM »
it would probably be a kick-ass video game actually. I mean... it's from Korea after all.


Offline electronsexparty

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #19 on: October 12, 2009, 06:29:50 AM »
I learned that black men, even dorky, mild-mannered reporters, carry handguns.

I learned that even though someone ought to supposedly have proof that some weird shit is going down (i.e: either a missing elephant or an elephant carcass), it's more plausible (and HILARIOUS!) for the cops to lock him up for being crazy. 

I learned that when when an old man is supposedly having a heart attack and he tells you to hurry for help (and that you'll make some easy cash too), that means take your sweet time because he's going to tell your son some ham-fisted story.

I learned that jumping from a helicopter from a pretty good height to escape a giant snake dragon will have no adverse effects on your body.

Oh, and I learned that you can bomb the hell out of a village in hopes of finding a girl with a tattoo, and not consider that see might be blown up or burned in the bombing.


Offline NRRork

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #20 on: October 17, 2009, 10:47:50 PM »
I learned that I can write a five word synopsis of the movie: bang, bang, ka-boom, ka-boom, ROAR.

Six if I decide to add "suck" in there somewhere.

Eleven if I throw in "lose the will to live."

And eighteen if I decide to conclude it with: "WHAT? They just fuckin' LEFT him there!?"

The guys made it funny, though. And I feel like after cutting my teeth on this one, I can handle Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

I mean, from what I gathered through reviews, it was pretty much this movie, but the dragons are made of metal and can turn into cars.
I used to have an image here, but Photobucket got cheap about remote linking. I guess I'll have to think of something witty instead. Which I will. Later. It caught me by surprise, in all honesty. It's hard to be clever on command, I mean, YOU try it. Be funny: NOW! See, tough. So, gimme a bit, 'kay?


Offline LucasM

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #21 on: October 18, 2009, 02:53:52 AM »
I learned that - in truth - the entire 'film' was an advertisment by Apple to give a massive build-up to their new, fully-customizable Asian-style dragon:

                                              the 'iMoogie'
To dispel some of the misconceptions about head injuries you have developed from watching movies and TV, I wrote this: ...Some Information on Head Injury Effects


Offline Thrifty

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #22 on: October 18, 2009, 04:34:13 AM »
I learned that - in truth - the entire 'film' was an advertisment by Apple to give a massive build-up to their new, fully-customizable Asian-style dragon:

                                              the 'iMoogie'

:rimshot:


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #23 on: October 18, 2009, 09:12:51 AM »

The guys made it funny, though. And I feel like after cutting my teeth on this one, I can handle Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

I mean, from what I gathered through reviews, it was pretty much this movie, but the dragons are made of metal and can turn into cars.
That sounds about right, except that the transformers are an incomprehensible mess of parts making it difficult to see what is going on. At least with Dragon Wars you could tell what was going on (whether you knew or cared why is a totally different matter). To enjoy a movie on a pure stupid action movie level, that makes all the difference.



Offline OmegaR!

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #24 on: October 18, 2009, 09:26:17 AM »
I learned that the best way to deal with the dragonic forces of evil is to have a necklace that randomly shots lightning


Offline CJones

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #25 on: October 18, 2009, 01:24:05 PM »
I learned:

Evil giant snakes show up days early, knowing full well they can't harm the girl till she actually turns twenty or they're screwed. And then he just follows them around for a while, giving the military plenty of chances to shoot at him, or for the girl to accidentally die or commit suicide.

"Good" giant snakes will wait until the girl he needs to kill actually does turn twenty before bothering to show up, making no effort to protect anyone before that.


Offline Thrifty

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #26 on: October 19, 2009, 08:01:41 AM »

The guys made it funny, though. And I feel like after cutting my teeth on this one, I can handle Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

I mean, from what I gathered through reviews, it was pretty much this movie, but the dragons are made of metal and can turn into cars.
That sounds about right, except that the transformers are an incomprehensible mess of parts making it difficult to see what is going on. At least with Dragon Wars you could tell what was going on (whether you knew or cared why is a totally different matter). To enjoy a movie on a pure stupid action movie level, that makes all the difference.

You understood what was going on?  I sure didn't.  What were the bad guys after?  Did they want to kill the girl with the good dragon inside her?  From what I gather, they wanted the evil dragon to eat her and absorb the good dragon's power.  But the good dragon doesn't really exist until the girl is 20 years old?  What if the bad guys don't get to the girl?  Does the good dragon remain dormant well past her 20th birthday?  WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS MOVIE ABOUT?????


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #27 on: October 19, 2009, 09:56:23 AM »

The guys made it funny, though. And I feel like after cutting my teeth on this one, I can handle Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

I mean, from what I gathered through reviews, it was pretty much this movie, but the dragons are made of metal and can turn into cars.
That sounds about right, except that the transformers are an incomprehensible mess of parts making it difficult to see what is going on. At least with Dragon Wars you could tell what was going on (whether you knew or cared why is a totally different matter). To enjoy a movie on a pure stupid action movie level, that makes all the difference.

You understood what was going on?  I sure didn't.  What were the bad guys after?  Did they want to kill the girl with the good dragon inside her?  From what I gather, they wanted the evil dragon to eat her and absorb the good dragon's power.  But the good dragon doesn't really exist until the girl is 20 years old?  What if the bad guys don't get to the girl?  Does the good dragon remain dormant well past her 20th birthday?  WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS MOVIE ABOUT?????
I just meant I could tell what the dragons were doing, and I could tell the different types apart. I just love dragons, is all. The "plot" and motivations were beyond ludicrous and pointless to speculate on.



Offline NRRork

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #28 on: October 19, 2009, 01:31:28 PM »
Yeah, but when you have loads of CGI effects on screen, who NEEDS a plot? That alone will draw in the audiences.

At least, that might've been true if this were, say, fifteen years ago. Back then, yes, you could sell a movie on that.

I also wanted to throw in a joke where I would be speaking from the point-of-view of some geeky kid back then trying to download a pirated copy with a 14.4 modem, and how if someone had tried that, it'd probably finish downloading about... now. I just couldn't find a way to write it properly.
I used to have an image here, but Photobucket got cheap about remote linking. I guess I'll have to think of something witty instead. Which I will. Later. It caught me by surprise, in all honesty. It's hard to be clever on command, I mean, YOU try it. Be funny: NOW! See, tough. So, gimme a bit, 'kay?


Offline NRRork

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Re: What D-War thing(s) did you Learn?!
« Reply #29 on: October 19, 2009, 01:41:58 PM »
OH! And nostalgia. That too. You can sell a movie on nostalgia. It's the only thing that explains Transformers 2.

That or weed. Although some people sometimes say things like "I'd love to watch that movie high", I've ... heard... that the effects of cannabis actually make even the simplest movie almost impossible to follow. However, since that's ALREADY the case with Micheal Bay's epic film about the war between 1s and 0s, a few hits of the green stuff might help.

Man, I keep coming in here to say snarky things about D-War, and it keeps turning into a torrent of abuse toward Micheal Bay.
I used to have an image here, but Photobucket got cheap about remote linking. I guess I'll have to think of something witty instead. Which I will. Later. It caught me by surprise, in all honesty. It's hard to be clever on command, I mean, YOU try it. Be funny: NOW! See, tough. So, gimme a bit, 'kay?