Starcrash! [1978] An iRiff by Garrett Gilchrist - OUT NOW!

[tygerbug]

Now available as an iRIff!

Starcrash! An amazing film from 1978 starring the luscious Caroline Munro and her minimalist wardrobe of leather space bikinis.

David Hasselhoff's got eye makeup and a lightsaber, and Christopher Plummer IS the confused, golden-caped Emperor of the Entire Universe.

An Italian Star Wars ripoff of the most blatant and inept kind, filmed in English, from a French DVD.


 Here's a sample!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cOPzFj2BQw&feature=channel_page

A compilation of some favorite bits from the commentary.

My iRiffs page!
http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/starcrash-1978-riffed-garrett-gilchrist


See sexy space smuggler Stella Star do battle with amazon women for no reason! See stop-motion special effects that look like they were done by Ray Harryhausen's blind retarded brother! With a score by four time Academy Award winner John Barry (James Bond films), who clearly needed the money.

Caroline Munro is probably the only real reason to watch this film, but it is an incredibly hilarious movie, the perfect late-70s Star Wars ripoff to watch while drunk.


But Garrett Gilchrist, you say, despite the obvious brilliance of this science fantasy classic, isn't this movie impossible to find on DVD in the US, and thus difficult to release as an iRiff?

Fear not! I've also placed my commentary for the film on Youtube, for watching for free!

PART ONE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynNBVDaTeB8&feature=PlayList&p=353FA7AFFE8A33A0&index=0&playnext=1

And I'm EXTREMELY sure you can find the film at some popular pirate torrenting site, not that we'd ever condone that.

But Garrett Gilchrist, you say, if I can watch your commentary for free, why should I purchase the iRiff?

Because, dear viewer, if you do, you will become the Emperor of the Entire Universe, and gain the magical powers to HALT THE FLOW OF TIME! Just like Christopher Plummer in this film!

Also, if you do buy the iRiff I get a dollar and Mike Nelson gets a dollar and isn't that nice to support what we're doing here?

Starcrash was released on VHS in the US by Roger Corman [it was a big hit for him in theaters in 79, due to the public wanting more Star Warsy type schlock], but Corman actually cut out some of the more wonderfully awkward moments. I've based my riff on the French version, "Le Choc Des Etoiles," which is uncut, and available in a 2-DVD set featuring a making of documentary and "Starcrash 2," an even worse movie featuring none of this movie's cast and all of this movie's effects. Cheapskates may be able to find this version online somewhere. I understand a proper American DVD is coming October 17, 2009. I hope it's uncut. There's a couple of jokes about this being the French version in the opening sequence, but not elsewhere in the film.



Frankly I think the movie is funny enough without commentary, but I hope I provide a few chuckles along the way.

The creepy Marjoe Gortner plays Akton, who with his blonde perm and man-makeup looks like a hellish clone of Mork from Ork, or the Greatest American Hero. He apparently has all sorts of special powers which are never explained.

There's also a green guy called Thor who no one likes, a cowboy robot who could be Darth Vader's redneck cousin, the hilariously evil Count Zarth Arn and his stop-motion robots who look sort of like Tinkertoy renditions of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

David Hasselhoff, playing Prince Simon, doesn't show up til toward the end, but the Baywatch / Knight Rider star doesn't disappoint, first wearing a goofy gold mask, then showing his skills with a lightsaber (!) .... Like most of the men in this film, he also wears an incredible amount of eye makeup.

There are also some stupid cavemen. I preferred the Amazon Girls myself.

Oh, and an embarrassed, confused-looking Christopher Plummer, as the golden-caped Emperor of the Entire Universe, has the ability to stop time! Apparently. His performance is wonderfully vague.

Will the babelicious Stella Star and redneck robot Elle defeat whatever they're supposed to be defeating? Who knows? Who cares? At least she dresses in a Vampirella - like leather space bikini for most of the film.

I am aware that this film has already been "riffed" by fans before .... Mystery Fandom Theater (MFT3K) did a version, and there's another one on Youtube [Starcrash Media Center Theater]. I haven't seen these versions. I had chosen this film to mock before knowing that anyone else had tackled it. Of course it didn't stop me - a film like Starcrash cannot be stopped.

Directed by Luigi Cozzi. With Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro, Christopher Plummer, David Hasselhoff.
Commentary by Garrett Gilchrist.






A fan page for the film.
http://www.golobthehumanoid.com/starcrashfront.html
Deleted scenes?
http://www.golobthehumanoid.com/starcrash-deleted.html

[amityisland]

I liked your list of Star Wars quotes done in the southern robot's voice

[tygerbug]

  Sure, the special effects in this movie are rubbish, but there's a few photos which make it look like space heroine Stella Star is making them herself .....

http://www.golobthehumanoid.com/starcrashpromo9.html

   She works hard for the money.

  (From the superb, photo-packed site by Golob the Humanoid.)

[tygerbug]

    I decided to create a special DVD case for Starcrash -- I hadn't seen a DVD case for it that really took my fancy. So here you go ....



Big version for printing and using on your own Starcrash DVD case:
http://orangecow.org/commentaries/starcrash/starcrashamaray.jpg

   Front cover detail:

[RVR II]

Looking forward to checking this out as well (along with Yor)

[RVR II]

And, for those of you who like to reauthor your iRiff DVD's (like me ), This is a PAL format and needs to stay as PAL for the riff to line up properly

[tygerbug]

   As far as I know, the PAL French DVD version is the only worthwhile DVD version of this film out there.

   So I worked from that - there's an AVI which is very easy to find at a pirate torrent site, and this track matches perfectly to that.

   (Which is what I gave you, RVR2.)

   I can't say whether converting to NTSC would screw up the sync, but since the film is PAL I do recommend keeping it that way.

   I actually did edit the film as NTSC - I slowed down the PAL version to 24fps and edited my Rifftrack that way .... but I decided for the release to speed it back up again so that it would match the AVI and DVD versions I was working from.

  On Youtube it's that slower NTSC version.

   If you buy the Rifftracks from this site, you'll get the PAL Rifftrack as well as the slower NTSC Rifftrack. Though I don't know if there's a version of the film out there which the NTSC Rifftrack will match exactly.

   As far as I know, the American NTSC versions of the film were cut .... there's a Roger Corman version which is missing at least 2 minutes of awkwardness. There's also a version called Female Space Invaders .... a porno-y title which actually manages to be worse than this film deserves! Didn't think that was possible.

  Whereas the PAL French version is a beautiful 2-disc set with a making of documentary and the even worse "sequel", Starcrash 2. Apparently.

   Obvious choice for me which version to riff. I don't own any of the rubbish, cut, pan & scan versions.

[RVR II]

Finally got around to watching this Rare '70's style Hoff' in action last night!
WOW!! Just.. WOW!
GR8 Work on the riffing! I thoroughly enjoyed it!!

[tygerbug]

Thanks!

Get along Star Wars Doggies!
Submitted by Hor-RIFF-icProductions on 2 August 2009 - 6:50am.

Funny, funny, funny. Red neck Darth Vader jokes had us cracking up everytime. As well as the random super powers Mr. Perm came up with to suit the situation. Great job for going solo.


Rare '70's style Hoff' in action!
Submitted by Richard Van Remmen II on 2 August 2009 - 6:04am.

Very Funny riff for such a bad movie! Highly Recommend!! - RVR II

[tygerbug]

  Hate to bump, but I got a good review, and I wanted to share. Thanks to Steve.

He's got style he's got grace...
Submitted by Warwilf on 29 August 2009 - 6:41pm.

Just wanted to let you know that my Fiancee and I watched your riff on youtube. We both laughed through the whole thing and consider this one of the best riffs we have seen. I posted a review on the Starcrash page and wanted to thank you for making us laugh. We liked it so much that we came back here to buy it after seeing it for free. Thanks again Garrett.
I just watched this last night and I was stunned. First off, I had no idea David Hasselhoff was in this. Secondly, I could not believe how bad and blatant a rip off of Star Wars this would turn out to be. It's unfathomable why they weren't sued for this level of intellectual infringement, although intellectual shouldn't really be used in describing anything about this film. And thirdly, if you haven't seen this film yet, it's worth it just to see the cowboy robot. Now about the iRiff: This riffer came out of nowhere and triangle-butted me into hysterics. The film is one of those so good it’s bad type of movies which I love and the riffer did an amazing job riffing it solo. There was no dead air, and the timing was excellent. There are some MST3K references in there, a heaping helping of sexual humor (it’s unavoidable because our heroine is pretty much wearing plastic wrap during the movie), and plenty of singing, which is what just about every good riff needs. He pretty much had to sing though because the films soundtrack was horrendous, to say the least. Very few people come close to making me feel like I’m watching an old MST3K episode, but Garrett did. I really enjoyed this and look forward to watching more of your iRiffs. Keep up the good work.