Author Topic: What have we learned?  (Read 21748 times)

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Offline Darth Geek

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What have we learned?
« on: April 22, 2009, 09:13:13 PM »
I learned that when one vampire bites you for a fraction of a second, you will be infected and become a vampire. But if then another vampire bites you and sucks on you for minutes you will be cured.

I learned that vampires are not vicious powerful monsters of legend, but idiot emos satisfied to live in the forest and go to high school for all eternity.

I learned that a 100+ year old vampire thinks showing a teenage girl that you look like a diamond will make them horrified of you.

I did not learn how vampires can bit through skin so easily if their teeth aren't fangs.

I learned that the riff "Line" never gets old.

 I learned that a movie about lame emo vampires has more glitter than Glitter.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2009, 09:21:08 PM by Darth Geek »



Offline Lovye

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2009, 09:59:22 PM »
I had confirmed something I learned upon first viewing:  APPARENTLY THE ICY COLD TOUCH OF A VAMPIRE DOESN'T APPLY WHEN MAKING OUT!!! >:(

I learned Stephanie Meyers has the super power to not make me care.


Offline Kenotic

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2009, 10:05:00 PM »
- It really sucks to be beautiful and surrounded by decent looking boys who ask you out.
- It really sucks to be new in school and have a number of kids asking you to go out to the beach.
- It really sucks to have an old childhood friend turn out to be pretty good looking and desiring to reconnect.
- Having a very cold, clammy person staring at you across the hall, watching you sleep, making veiled threats, and mumbling in your presence is the most romantic thing EVA!!!11!
- Vampires have really lousy senses of humor. I'm still amazed they didn't make a crack about "Vampire Bats" while playing baseball.
- Alice and Jasper should have their own series. Seriously, in their 5 or 6 lines they were more interesting than Bella and Edward on their good days.
- If you can control the desires to feed of humans, being a vampire rocks. It goes against everything in folklore from Bram Stoker to Buffy, but hey - super powers, strength, and sparkliness are a nice payoff.
- This is basically the female version of Baywatch at best, late-night Cinemax at worst. It has no basis in reality, but hey it stirs up everything nonetheless.
- I'd kill to see Edward feed off someone on Ritalin.

I was a student at a small midwestern college....


Offline Ayriana22

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2009, 10:34:57 PM »
- I'd kill to see Edward feed off someone on Ritalin.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!  :clap:    :highfive:
"Occasionally,  I'm callous and strange"-Willow -Buffy the Vampire Slayer



Offline Darth Geek

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2009, 05:51:22 AM »
I had confirmed something I learned upon first viewing:  APPARENTLY THE ICY COLD TOUCH OF A VAMPIRE DOESN'T APPLY WHEN MAKING OUT!!! >:(
I thought that too! He's got to be, what, 5 degrees? Kissing him couldn't have been that great.



Offline PlayMSTie

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2009, 07:59:18 AM »
You should see how Meyer does it in the books -- all of this "I was snuggling up against him and he was like an ice-cold block of marble and it felt so wonderful" crap. UGH.   :speechless:

Anyway . . . I learned that when someone tells you he's a murderer, you should trust him implicitly and fall head over heels in love with him.


"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal." C. S. Lewis

Bring back Bridget!


Offline Lovye

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2009, 10:45:02 AM »
In the books he was cold while she was snuggling with him?  ...OOOH!   I WANT to say that Meyers was letting us know he was fridgid in a PG way, but, I just don't think she took the time to think out the celebacy like that.

I learned that Jasper? (Blond Edward Scissorhands) IS HARPO!

Anyway, I also learned that the action, THE BRIEF ACTION, THE ONLY PART THAT MAKES THE MOVIE TOLERABLE BETWEEN THE NOTHING AND THE TALKING ABOUT NOTHING DOESN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!!  ...Though, to be fair, I learned that in Raven's iRiff....can I include that here or should this bit be moved?

I learned that time does not exist in Washington State.

I learned that people WANT to go surfing, while other people are in layers and windbreakers with knitted caps and wraped in afghans.

I learned that Edward was much more abusive than I cought on the first time I saw this movie.

I learned that there is BLUE, the color BLUE, in some way, in every shot of this movie, EXCEPT ONE, which is predominately brown.

I learned to never underestimate Rober Pattinson's Chrstopher Walkin impression.

I learned that, for some reasono, Jessica cannot construct a sentence pertinantly involved in anything.

I learned, after seeing this movie and reading about the cast of characters in New Moon, I cannot WAIT for the New Moon Riff.  *squee*


Offline PlayMSTie

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2009, 12:18:50 PM »
But presumably he was still cold in book 4 while they were . . . never mind, I don't want to go there.
"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal." C. S. Lewis

Bring back Bridget!


Offline Quicksilver

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2009, 12:26:06 PM »
I learned movies don't need a plot.

I learned that teenage girls are idiots

Why in the hell did this movie get like 58% on rotten tomatoes? But of course this is answered by the second thing I learned.  :-\
The Ood: The Beast and his armies will rise from the pit to make war against God.
Rose: I'm sorry?
The Ood: Apologies. I said: I hope you enjoy your meal.


Offline Wiseblood

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2009, 12:38:06 PM »
I learned there's nothing at all creepy about a 100+ year old vampire hooking up with a teenage girl.


Offline Bill Corbett

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2009, 02:59:37 PM »
- Vampires have really lousy senses of humor. I'm still amazed they didn't make a crack about "Vampire Bats" while playing baseball.

Argggh!  Missed joke for sure.  Darn.

Must flog myself with metal cilice.


Offline Raven

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2009, 05:17:40 PM »
- Vampires have really lousy senses of humor. I'm still amazed they didn't make a crack about "Vampire Bats" while playing baseball.

Argggh!  Missed joke for sure.  Darn.

Must flog myself with metal cilice.

I had that joke in mine. 

Hey Mr. Corbett, did you guys get a chance to check out any of the iriffs?


Offline FBX

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2009, 06:32:23 PM »
I wouldn't be surprised if they do to avoid taking any jokes or to prevent making it look like they stole a joke.

Would be good to hear the official response on that though


Offline PlayMSTie

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #13 on: April 23, 2009, 06:41:23 PM »
Yeah, that could cause some hairy situations.
"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal." C. S. Lewis

Bring back Bridget!


Offline Raven

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Re: What have we learned?
« Reply #14 on: April 23, 2009, 06:46:08 PM »
Well some of the jokes from both ours and the Ice On Mars guys were almost exactly the same.  So it's not like they went around our material.