Favorite Jokes & Riddles (your own if possible)

[mike5150]

I feel I should clarify the stupid jokes that I post. My favorite jokes have always been ones that I repeat over and over to different people and the more groan inducing the better.

*pulling up to train tracks* "Hey look, the train just went through...you can still see it's tracks"

*seeing a farmer out in the field "Hey look....now there is a man who's outstanding in his field"

*Seeing geese flying over in a V formation*  "Hey, you see those geese up there? Did you know they fly in a V to lower wind resistance? You ever notice that one line is always longer than the other? You know why that is?" *Wait for some scientific guess that is assuredly coming*  "No...it's because there are more geese in that line"

Those are my favorite types of jokes   I would have to say that my favorite joke of all time revolves around a Chinese gentleman applying  to be a priest and one of the tests is to explain Easter. I won't bore you with the joke, but it ends with the lines "The rock ROLLS away on it's own.....Jesus steps out....sees his shadow....SIX MORE WEEK WINTER!!"

[MartyS (Gromit)]

My favorite jokes have always been ones that I repeat over and over to different people and the more groan inducing the better.

So, you'd be the passenger in a car driving around a very crowded parking lot saying "there's a space" all the time pointing out spaces with cars already in them?

[mike5150]

uhhh...no, that would be stupid. *points at martys feet* Your shoe is tied.

[Johnny Unusual]

Here are some riddles for you.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/EAlfr7wsqcM" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/EAlfr7wsqcM</a>

Some are awful, but there are some gems in there.

[goflyblind]

what's brown and sounds like a bell?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

dung!

[Mrs. Dick Courier]

Old juvenile one from Eddie Murphy, but makes me laugh

One day, a rabbit and a bear are taking a crap. The bear looks over to the rabbit and says, “Do you have problems with crap sticking to your fur?” “No,” the rabbit said. The bear then grabbed the rabbit and wiped his ass.

[Mrs. Dick Courier]

Prepare to moan....

What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls they're under a buck

Warned you

[Tripe]

Well on that topic a two question one I loved when I was fairly little:

Why do elephants paint their balls red?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So they can hide in cherry trees.

What's the loudest sound in the Jungle?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Monkeys eating cherries.

[LucasM]

Here's one of mine that I turned into a greeting card a few years back (so technically copyrighted, but since I'm not revealing who owns the copyright I suppose I am breaking my own copyright by posting this )


Q: What does Ariel - the little mermaid - listen to on her boombox?

A:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

CHORALE music

[Kete]

I like this one....

Knock, Knock

[Tripe]

Minimalist, I like it.

[Kete]

Say "Who's there"!

[Tripe]

I don't know, who?

[Kete]

[Tripe]

  who?