Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised

[AmandaGal]

I have a friend who was an engineer for a popular tampon/toilet paper company.  Boy can he tell you some BORING stats about how you do, in fact, need to advertise your toilet paper and/or tampon.  He can also tell you about the history of toilet papers and tampons.  It's some interes...no, wait. It's not.

Anyway, in the same vein, here's mine:

[woman romping through field of flowers]
Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?  How do you deal with it? Women everywhere are turning to baths to make them feel refreshed, renewed and ready to face the world.

Baths. Try one today.

[Steve-O]

Baths. Try one today.

As a long-time geek and someone who works in the computer industry, I can assure you that this is something that needs to be advertised.

[daltysmilth]

Are you bothered by excess liquids in your bladder?  Why not try urination?  Urination is the method doctors prefer for the elimination of unwanted bladder fluids.  Urination: it's number one.

[AmandaGal]

Baths. Try one today.

As a long-time geek and someone who works in the computer industry, I can assure you that this is something that needs to be advertised.

I went to a nerdy con once and realized that deodorant needs to be advertised.

[malkavman]

Are you tired of running out of air? Then try TREES! From the makers of plants and grass. Trees; they won't make you kill yourself, no matter what M. Night Sha-na-na says.

[Chaos]

Urination: it's number one.

Very clever.

[Doctor Who?]

Tired of flying off into space and dieing?

Try gravity!

Gravity will keep your feet on the earth for hours on end of non dieing fun!

[Chaos]

Are you tired of being alive, but too chicken to die? Try a COMA today! Endless hours of non-fatal fun for the whole family.

[LucasM]

OK... I didn't come up with this, I just had it.

It describes how INCREDIBLY versatile a particular word is, and suggests, very politely, using 'the F word' more frequently.

F-word.wav: http://www.sendspace.com/file/u4445k

Obviously, if you have a problem with the word, don't download the wav file.