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Author Topic: iJust Finished Watching  (Read 305550 times)

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Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2205 on: July 16, 2018, 07:48:22 AM »
Quiptracks -- "The Covenant" (2006) -- If you ever wanted to see a movie where some Abercrombie & Fitch models had warlock powers and used them in the silliest and douchiest ways possible, here's your movie.  They jump really far, levitate their SUVs, flip skirts, throw kegs, and worry because apparently, magic equals drugs, but only if you're old.  Oh, and there's a fifth warlock who's trying to kill them all, the adorable shirtless scamp.

Quiptracks is great in their takedown of this weak stew of rejected leftovers from 'Charmed.'  Particularly near the end, where the effects-heavy final battle would've provoked laughter as it is, they upped it to near-hysterical.  (The movie started streaming on Netflix in the U.S. not too long ago, so if you ever wanted to check Quiptracks out, this is a good place to start.)

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/the-covenant ]

FireRiffs -- "The Amazing Spider-Man" (2012) -- Peter Parker has problems.  The main one being he's being played by Andrew Garfield, sure, but there are others.  They're solved, or at least changed, by getting powers and putting on a mask (though the solution gets tested because he's always taking off his mask).  He fights a lizard man who, improbably, is not David Icke, and spends the rest of his time failing to figure out why his parents ditched him, and why his girlfriend hasn't died yet.

This film wasn't nearly as good as I vaguely remembered it being, with Garfield's Parker being far more cringe-inducing.  I'm glad FireRiffs gave it the consistently-funny mockery it had coming to it.  Lots of great lines throughout, frequently sending up the logical failings of the concept, or the scenes, or the script, or... you get the idea.

[ https://gumroad.com/l/FireRiffsSpiderman ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline fireyf

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2206 on: July 16, 2018, 05:10:38 PM »

FireRiffs -- "The Amazing Spider-Man" (2012) -- Peter Parker has problems.  The main one being he's being played by Andrew Garfield, sure, but there are others.  They're solved, or at least changed, by getting powers and putting on a mask (though the solution gets tested because he's always taking off his mask).  He fights a lizard man who, improbably, is not David Icke, and spends the rest of his time failing to figure out why his parents ditched him, and why his girlfriend hasn't died yet.

This film wasn't nearly as good as I vaguely remembered it being, with Garfield's Parker being far more cringe-inducing.  I'm glad FireRiffs gave it the consistently-funny mockery it had coming to it.  Lots of great lines throughout, frequently sending up the logical failings of the concept, or the scenes, or the script, or... you get the idea.

[ https://gumroad.com/l/FireRiffsSpiderman ]
Very glad to hear you liked it.  Perhaps someday the sequel will get riffed too.  That one was Spider-man 3 bad!


Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2207 on: July 31, 2018, 09:32:13 AM »
J.C. Walsh -- "Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory" -- The owner (or chief admin, or top creep, it's never quite clear) is blackmailed by a student he's having an affair with.  He's trying to cover it up, but has to deal with some inconvenient attacks by a rubber-mask-wearing creature that's supposed to be a werewolf.  Several characters are bored to death before the truth is discovered.

Solo riffer J.C. Walsh does a bit better going against this one than ICWXP did, but the dull, talky nature of the movie works against him as well.  The riffs themselves are entertaining, but this film drags them down more than the riffs lift the viewing experience up.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/werewolf-in-a-girls-dormitory ]

Ice on Mars -- "Star Trek: Voyager - 'Emanations' -- Some Voyager crewfolk visit an asteroid, hoping to mine some MacGuffinnium, only to discover there are dead, mummified bodies just showing up at random.  Harry Kim screws up, and the rest of the episode is about finding him, and wheezing on about death and the afterlife.  Michael Bradley and Scix Maddix are funny throughout this dull and silly episode, even though the show barely gives them enough to work with.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/star-trek-voyager-emanations ]
[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/stv-108-emanations ]

Ice on Mars -- "Star Trek: Voyager - 'Faces' -- A Voyager away team is farting around on an asteroid (yes, again) when Torres and Paris get kidnapped by the pizza-faced Vidiians (aka 'those dorks from 'Phage'').  They do some mad science stuff to Torres to split her into two beings - an all-human version and an all-klingon version.  Which is either the worst idea for a Doublemint gum ad, or the best.  The riffing (this time from Michael Bradley and Kaisha Medford) is even better, which may be because Vidiian stories are always full of wtf-ery to react to.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/star-trek-voyager-faces ]
[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/stv-113-faces ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2208 on: August 06, 2018, 10:54:22 AM »
I just realized I only got up to Part 9 of the Great Alaskan Mystery (and I missed part8). I will try to finish these this weekend.
Wow, I completely forgot about this. I still need to catch up on the rest of these.



Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2209 on: August 15, 2018, 01:18:20 PM »
Ronin Fox Trax -- "Batman" -- Michael Keaton dresses up as an inflexible bat-like person and goes around punching people. Jack Nicholson gets doused with chemicals which make him both more murdery and more Jack-Nicholsony.  They fight over Kim Basinger while Prince sings.  Not a terrible movie, by any means, but not nearly so far from Schumacher-land as you might remember.

The riffs from Ronin Fox and Vampirica are excellent, and made the whole rewatching very entertaining. I especially enjoyed the long section about Batman and how he drew a clear line at refusing to kill and why that made him a great hero (and the payoff at the end).  Fun from beginning to end!

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/ronin-fox-trax-batman ]
[ https://gumroad.com/RoninFoxTrax ]

Toast and Rice -- "The Fat Spy" -- A group of teenagers look for a sunken Spanish galleon on an 'uninhabited' island (with its own fully functional docks and airport). Twin brothers and Phyllis Diller search for the fountain of youth. Everyone sings a lot, including people who have no business singing. Jayne Mansfield and Brian Donlevy show up to remind us they used to be in better movies.  If this doesn't sound coherent to you... it's even less so when watched.

There is a school of thought in riffing that one shouldn't riff comedies, or farces, or spoofs. But does that still hold if the movie contains nothing that's actually funny? Toast and Rice does a good job taking this one on, providing the only laughs in an otherwise cringeworthy sixties snooze. He also gets angry at the movie, a lot, but you know what? It deserves every bit of it.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/the-fat-spy-vod-movie-from-toast-and-rice ]
[ https://gumroad.com/toastandrice ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2210 on: August 31, 2018, 12:06:51 PM »
The Turkey Shoot with Scott Zee -- "Hitler: Dead or Alive" -- In possibly the least successful video game adaptation ever, several characters who aren't either sexy or Asian travel to Germany to kill Hitler, who also isn't... wait a minute. *checks notes*  Okay, so this doesn't have anything to do with a video game.  A group of mobsters travel to Germany to kill Hitler in order to claim a million-dollar reward, and things go screwy.

This is Scott Zee's show, so I knew going in it was gonna be hilarious.  That proved true, of course--the riffs here were killer, and the performance top notch.  The only sad thing is that I'm now out of Turkey Shoot riffs to see for the first time.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/hitlerdead-or-alive-the-turkey-shoot-with-scott-zee-vod ]

Ralph and Rick Resent -- "Prehistoric Women" (1967) -- A foppish white hunter in Darkest Africa(tm) gets transported to the set of One Million Years BC by a giant white rhino horn, which isn't at all like it sounds, except in the ways that it is.  There he flops into the middle of the struggle of some blonde white female slaves against their brunette white female overlords.  A fake white rhino shows up there, too.

This was a pretty good movie for a riff choice, though not one of the easiest to track down (you'll need to, since this is a commentary-only riff).  Ralph and Rick are entertaining as always in picking apart this quick-n-cheap Hammer film, with lots of good lines and repartee.  And now I'm out of Ralph and Rick riffs, too... hmph.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/ralph-and-rick-resent-prehistoric-women-1967 ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2211 on: August 31, 2018, 12:27:15 PM »
The only sad thing is that I'm now out of Turkey Shoot riffs to see for the first time.

Have you seen his riffs on Dailymotion?
https://www.dailymotion.com/Scott_Zee

Nothing too recent, but he's got a bunch he put up there  when he couldn't use the iRiff section anymore. I know that's the only place to see Assignment Terror, The Night The World Exploded, Death Rage, and couple of shorts.



Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2212 on: September 10, 2018, 08:06:05 AM »
The only sad thing is that I'm now out of Turkey Shoot riffs to see for the first time.

Have you seen his riffs on Dailymotion?
https://www.dailymotion.com/Scott_Zee

Nothing too recent, but he's got a bunch he put up there  when he couldn't use the iRiff section anymore. I know that's the only place to see Assignment Terror, The Night The World Exploded, Death Rage, and couple of shorts.

Yep, I've seen all those.  Lot of good stuff there.

I think the only one of his I haven't seen, since it's not available anywhere anymore, is his take on the OG Star Trek "Wolf in the Fold".
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2213 on: September 11, 2018, 07:18:36 AM »
The only sad thing is that I'm now out of Turkey Shoot riffs to see for the first time.

Have you seen his riffs on Dailymotion?
https://www.dailymotion.com/Scott_Zee

Nothing too recent, but he's got a bunch he put up there  when he couldn't use the iRiff section anymore. I know that's the only place to see Assignment Terror, The Night The World Exploded, Death Rage, and couple of shorts.

Yep, I've seen all those.  Lot of good stuff there.

I think the only one of his I haven't seen, since it's not available anywhere anymore, is his take on the OG Star Trek "Wolf in the Fold".
I think I have that one. I will check after work.



Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2214 on: September 14, 2018, 11:26:05 AM »
Quiptracks -- "The Lost World: Jurassic Park" -- Super-rich layabout-in-bed John Hammond has lost control of his corporation, which has sent thick-muscled guys in tight shirts to his Other Dinosaur Island to box up some T-Rexes and raptors and such for either the worst or the best Youtube Unboxing Video ever.  So he sends Action Hero Jeff Goldblum to the island to ramble at everyone until they see sense.  Everyone ends up running from dinosaurs a lot.

It's been a long time since I saw this movie, so I'd mostly forgotten how oddly forced it felt.  Dumbly enjoyable for the most part, but with a lot of contrivances just to get the characters into dino-teeth range.  Watching it again with the Quiptracks commentary was great -- bloated cash-grab sequels deserve much mocking, and the guys delivered in spades here.  I'd love to hear them take it to JP3 someday.

[ Ordinarily, I'd link to the riff here, but it doesn't appear to be up on the OrderoftheLeague.com site at the moment. ]

Rabbit Ears -- "Warning from Space" -- Starfish-shaped aliens drop down from the skies to visit Tokyo, ostensibly to warn them that they're meddling with scientifical explosive formulas they can't control, but also to party and attend can-can shows.  Eventually, one of them is transformed into a human so she can go down and rip up the explosive formula notes.  Then a rogue planet comes along to threaten Earth, and the aliens reveal they're here to help avert disaster, which is why they were trying to keep them from using the super-explosive formula that could save them.  For some reason, everyone thinks this makes sense.

The previous Rabbit Ears riff I watched was for "...And Then There Were None," their first riff, so I decided to go the other way and take in their most recent offering.  They do much better with this one, not only because they're more seasoned at this point, but because this movie is just all over the place with plot and characters who don't seem to have anything to do with it.  Some of the line reads still sound line-readish, but for the most part, they're good.  And the host segments are pretty amusing.

[ https://store.payloadz.com/details/2529660-movies-and-videos-comedy-rabbit-ears-warning-from-space.html ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2215 on: September 14, 2018, 01:11:27 PM »
to box up some T-Rexes and raptors and such for either the worst or the best Youtube Unboxing Video ever. 
:clap: :clap: ;D



Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2216 on: September 17, 2018, 05:04:44 PM »
I watched Cinester Theater's riff of Pretty Woman with my friends last night. Still fantastic! We laughed hardest at the "Erectile Dysfunction Ad" riff.