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Author Topic: iJust Finished Watching  (Read 291709 times)

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Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2160 on: October 31, 2017, 07:16:37 AM »
Ice on Mars/Aaron Bossig -- "Star Trek: Voyager - 'The Cloud'" -- Janeway wants coffee!  But the ship's energy stores are running low, so she has Voyager penetrate a giant space amoeba thing to get more.  As you do.  Kind of a dull, overly-padded episode, but one that made for a generally funny riff from Michael T. Bradley of Ice on Mars and Aaron Bossig (though the audio differences betrayed that they weren't in the same room).  Michael's Hepburn-esque Janeway impression stole the show, as always.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/stv-105-the-cloud ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/star-trek-voyager-the-cloud ]

Ice on Mars -- "Star Trek: Voyager - 'Ex Post Facto'" -- As punishment for stabbing a dude who walked in on philandering-in-progress, Tom Paris is sentenced to relive the death through the victim's eyes on auto-repeat.  Since that means the last thing he sees is his own face, it's clearly cruel and unusual punishment, so Voyager investigates.  For this riffing go-round, Michael teams with Josh Robinson to tear this shoddily-executed episode a new one.  The riff's a bit sharper than "The Cloud's" -- maybe it's just that the recording quality is better, but Michael and Josh seem to have better chemistry.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/stv-107-ex-post-facto ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/star-trek-voyager-ex-post-facto ]

That's Cool, That's Trash -- "Curse of the Swamp Creature" -- It's hard out there for a mad scientist.  Consider Dr. Simond Trent, who only wants to hang out in the swamps of east Texas and make fish men.  He's got people who are supposed to keep snoopers away, but when they fail, John Agar and some oil claim thieves get all up in his business.  It's enough to make a swamp creature curse.

This movie, directed by Larry 'Attack-of-the-the-Eye-Creatures' Buchanan, is an marvelously terrible movie (save for Jeff Alexander's entertaining mad doctor scenery chewing), and a perfect target for the That's Cool, That's Trash crew.  I laughed a lot during this one, both due to the riffing and the movie itself.  This one's no longer available in the Rifftrax iRiffs section, and appears to only be available through their March blog offer (linked below).

[ http://www.thatscoolthatstrash.com/2017/03/the-wild-guitar-riff-is-finally-here.html ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2161 on: November 15, 2017, 07:39:01 AM »
Quiptracks -- "Hulk" -- Of the two standalone 'Hulk' movies, this is the one that, by it's own admission, is not Incredible.  Nor is it particularly credible in its use of family conflict to symbolically illustrate how to keep the budget down by reducing how much CGI is needed.  It does have Sam Elliott, I'll give it that, but makes the fatal mistake of not having Hulk's ultimate opponent be Sam Elliott's gamma-irridated mustache.

Quiptracks is very funny in this one, particularly in mocking the movie's overuse and misuse of split-screen to imitate actual tension.  There was a good amount of energy to the vocals for this one, which helped through the more tedious and/or stupid stretches of the movie (i.e. 90% of it).  It made a slog of a movie into a fun viewing experience.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/hulk ]

FireRiffs -- "The Incredible Hulk" -- Now, here's the Hulk movie that is, technically, Incredible.  How they arrived at that notion I don't really know, as while Edward Norton is a (marginal) step up from Eric Bana, Liv Tyler is a sidestep from Jennifer Connelly, and William Hurt is hampered by not being Sam Elliot.  (Then again, I'm hampered by not being Sam Elliot, so I can't be too critical.)  Oh, and the plot is, I dunno, some creature off a generic 80s heavy metal album cover fights Hulk.

Fireriffs brings a different feel to this riff (compared to Quiptracks, I mean, not other Fireriffs).  It's less high-energy, more conversational in tone, which for solo riffing I think works best.  Lots of good lines here, and an entertaining Hulk imitation (it sounded a lot like a Yoda voice, minus the mangled syntax, but it worked well).  Watch it back-to-back with QT's Hulk, like I did, and have a smashing good time.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/fireriffs-presents-the-incredible-hulk ]
[ https://gumroad.com/fireyf ]
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Online fireyf

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2162 on: November 26, 2017, 04:04:13 PM »
Quiptracks -- "Hulk" -- Of the two standalone 'Hulk' movies, this is the one that, by it's own admission, is not Incredible.  Nor is it particularly credible in its use of family conflict to symbolically illustrate how to keep the budget down by reducing how much CGI is needed.  It does have Sam Elliott, I'll give it that, but makes the fatal mistake of not having Hulk's ultimate opponent be Sam Elliott's gamma-irridated mustache.

Quiptracks is very funny in this one, particularly in mocking the movie's overuse and misuse of split-screen to imitate actual tension.  There was a good amount of energy to the vocals for this one, which helped through the more tedious and/or stupid stretches of the movie (i.e. 90% of it).  It made a slog of a movie into a fun viewing experience.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/hulk ]

FireRiffs -- "The Incredible Hulk" -- Now, here's the Hulk movie that is, technically, Incredible.  How they arrived at that notion I don't really know, as while Edward Norton is a (marginal) step up from Eric Bana, Liv Tyler is a sidestep from Jennifer Connelly, and William Hurt is hampered by not being Sam Elliot.  (Then again, I'm hampered by not being Sam Elliot, so I can't be too critical.)  Oh, and the plot is, I dunno, some creature off a generic 80s heavy metal album cover fights Hulk.

Fireriffs brings a different feel to this riff (compared to Quiptracks, I mean, not other Fireriffs).  It's less high-energy, more conversational in tone, which for solo riffing I think works best.  Lots of good lines here, and an entertaining Hulk imitation (it sounded a lot like a Yoda voice, minus the mangled syntax, but it worked well).  Watch it back-to-back with QT's Hulk, like I did, and have a smashing good time.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/fireriffs-presents-the-incredible-hulk ]
[ https://gumroad.com/fireyf ]

Glad to hear you enjoyed the riff!


Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2163 on: November 30, 2017, 07:25:47 AM »
Drawback Productions -- "The Kiss" -- A suburban American family welcomes Aunt Felice, who's come to visit after being separated from the family for 30 years and being taken over by a long-tongued voodoo devil statue thing.  Felice wants to transfer her soul into her late sister's daughter to keep on living, and will make escalators and bad cat puppets kill anyone who gets in her way.

This was a bad movie, to be certain, but a surprisingly enjoyable one, and Drawback Productions' great riffing makes a very funny complement to it.  I was surprised to learn from the riff that one of the actors was Shawn Levy, better known now as a director and an executive producer of Stranger Things -- an aside that sets up my favorite line from the commentary, which I won't spoil here.  It's free on YouTube, so check it out!

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_Ix9FLmCGE ]

SRD's Movie Night -- "The Alphabet Conspiracy" -- In what's basically a high-concept educational short stretched way too far out, a young girl who hates words dreams that the Mad Hatter and the Jabberwocky are leading a conspiracy to destroy the alphabet and are trying to get her to join.  Usually those levels of anti-linguistic fervor can only be created by reading the collected works of Sarah Palin, but they've got it too.

Sugar Ray Dodge's second riff suffers some as it goes on and he takes on a more angry tone.  With some movies, angry riffing works, but with a silly trifle like this, it doesn't feel earned.  But there are a bunch of good lines in this riff, and the two shorts that precede the main feature were well-mocked, so overall I'd say it was entertaining.

[ https://movienight.sugarraydodge.com/tag/the-alphabet-conspiracy/ ]
[ https://archive.org/details/AlphabetConspiracy ]
[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMIyAOXxWR8 ]
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Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2164 on: December 15, 2017, 08:17:43 AM »
Ronin Fox Trax -- "He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special" -- Stop me if you've heard this one: Orko, the floating darkness-in-a-robe wizard guy, does something annoying and stupid, and as a result, two Earth children get kidnapped several times per minute for the next 40 minutes.  He-Man, She-Ra, and whatever else Mattel's trying to push in toy stores that week rush to the rescue.  A flying unicorn talks, and no one freaks out like I did.  Somehow this adds up to Christmas.

This was a show that put the "well isn't that special" in Christmas Special, and I thoroughly enjoyed Ronin Fox Trax's riff on it.  Funny, well-paced, with gags that recur but aren't pushed too far.  And a really good imitation of Skeletor's voice as well!

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/ronin-fox-trax-he-man-she-ra-a-christmas-special ]
[ https://gumroad.com/RoninFoxTrax ]

Turkey Shoot -- "Scrooge" (1935) -- A tightwad money lender named Ebeneezer Scrooge, after amply visiting his unpleasantness on his sole employee and an assortment of passerby, gets visited by three ghosts who get him to change his tune.  In an unrelated incident, a group of British nobs toast the Queen, while an assortment of character actors get their Dickens on outside.

As always, Scott Zee's riffing is a delight, especially over this poorly-lit mind-numbingly limp adaptation of "A Christmas Carol."  Not quite as hysterically funny as some other Turkey Shoot VODs, which may be down to how dull and grey the movie is, but still plenty good and showcases Scott's wide-ranging vocal talents.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/scrooge-theturkey-shoot-with-scott-zee ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2165 on: December 28, 2017, 02:32:54 PM »
Hor-Riff-Ic -- "Gremlins" -- While looking for a Christmas gift for his son and trying to forget having written the 'Mitchell' song, an inventor played by Hoyt Axton buys a strange new pet from the hustlin' son of a Chinese shop owner.  After his son almost immediately violoates every rule for caring for this creature, his town is overrun by violent weirdoes called Gremlins, and much carnage ensues.

This is probably several cuts better than a lot of the horror movies Hor-Riff-Ic riffs, but even so, they land a lot of good jokes as the movie goes on.  The commentary ends up complementing the fun of the movie quite nicely, and had me cackling with laughter by the end.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/hor-riff-ic-gremlins ]

Intrepid Asylum -- "Lone Ranger episodes/shorts/Flash Gordon serial 1 episodes 1-8" -- Intrepid Asylum, one of the recent riffers of parts of the Great Alaskan Mystery project, has also riffed a variety of other short works.  Initially, he riffed four Lone Ranger TV episodes, and a couple shorts.  He then went on to riff the first eight episodes of the first classic Flash Gordon serial, one of my favorites.

I've found some rather variable results when it comes to looking to YouTube for riffs of various things, but fortunately Intrepid Asylum has turned out to be one of the keepers.  Some of his earliest works had some pacing issues with the jokes (like the Lone Ranger shorts), but even then, he was pretty funny, and he's only improved since he started on riffing Flash Gordon (and the two Great Alaskan Mystery episodes he took on).

[ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrmuIkcxGTz7Ej_vGK2gpJw/playlists ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2166 on: December 28, 2017, 07:25:43 PM »
The Christmas Shoes riff by Quiptracks - Quiptracks is back. Riffing on an insipid movie, based on an even more insipid book, based on an impossibly insipid song. There is no sipidness to be had in this movie, is what I am saying. Quiptracks, as always, is very funny here. Tracy and Tristan, being brothers, have good chemistry and work off each other well. The joke pacing is excellent, and they give a wide variety of jokes.
There are a few running gags here that I liked a lot. People leaving doors open, and Tristan impersonating the mother saying "bum for a son".
The movie is...insipid. I think we've established that. But it's also so aggressively saccharin that even Rob Lowe's lawyer character, who's only problem is that he works too hard to provide for his family (THAT BASTARD!), the one case we see of his is helping poor farmers fight a big land developer. And the woman dying of a broken heart (no, seriously) still looks pretty to the very end. I also think the only reason the kid's mother is dying is because maybe this is going to lead up to a Disney movie.

"I make my way to the cemetary and decorate her stone." - Well actually a stone was too expensive, so we hired this guy to stand there. I decorate him.

I found the exact moment your daughter decided to become a stripper.

Great reference to Spheron (God of Spheres, from the Abduction riff) and Coragale (God of Boxes, from the Jurassic Park riff).

Is her spirit at one with the hawk? What is with this mystical woodwind?

If you don't talk with your kids about not talking, who won't?

So who's too busy gathering money to be with his family now?



Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2167 on: January 15, 2018, 10:48:20 AM »
Quiptracks -- "The Christmas Shoes" -- Rob Lowe is a lawyer whose workaholic ways are endangering his marriage.  Some kid who isn't Rob Lowe and isn't a workaholic decides he has to raise enough money to buy his dying mother a pair of shoes for Christmas.  Will their paths meander into one another?  Will we ever work out the conflicting messages on the value of ignoring your family to make money?  Speaking of which, wasn't everyone involved in this holiday turd just there for their paychecks?

Sweet Kris Kringle on a candlestick, this was one of the most excruciating holiday movies I've ever seen.  If it wasn't for Quiptracks, rockin' the great lines as always, I wouldn't have made it five minutes, and that's no exaggeration.  They had their work cut out for them this time, but somehow, they made the unwatchable enjoyable.  Add this one to your holiday riff rotation!

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/xmas-shoes ]

TreacheRiffs -- "Lost in Space" -- Heading to another star to put up a gate thing to save the human race, the Robinson's sabotaged ship ends up getting lost in... you'll never believe this... space!  They end up fighting robo-spiders and exploding planets and time travel, making it all a lot less cooler than it sounds.

This film was on the low end of the Big-Dumb-but-Kinda-Okay Way-Overlong Big-Budget Sci-Fi Movie scale--not unwatchable, but pretty tedious.  TreacheRiffs was hilarious here, mocking the film's muddled plot, the inexplicable presence of actors who should have known better, and the creaky CGI effects.  They made the 2+ hour run time fly by quickly.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/lost-in-space ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/treacheriffs-lost-in-space-1998 ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2168 on: January 31, 2018, 07:48:20 AM »
Ralph and Rick Resent -- "City of the Dead" -- Wanting to learn more about witchcraft, college student Nan Barlow heads for the village of Whitewood, where the folks are starin' and the fog machine is workin' overtime.  Christopher Lee and Satan both have goes at trying to sell the menace; Lee, at least, succeeds a bit.

Ralph and Rick are joined this time around by a Roxie in resenting this would-be Hammer Horror-esque movie.  It takes them a little while to really get going, but once they do (around when Nan first gets to Whitewood), they're very funny and work well together.  R&R may not have done many riffs, but the ones they've done are worth checking out.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/ralph-rick-and-roxie-resent-the-city-of-the-dead-vod ]

Toast and Rice -- "Good Against Evil" -- Satan, after failing with the witchy stuff, decides to have a go at child-rearing, cult-style.  Surprisingly, this is not the pilot for 'the Kardashians.'  The girl is raised by the cult, only to be swayed by the murky 70s charms of a van-driving drifter who is, sadly, not Timothy Van Patten.  The story slouches along until it ends with nothing resolved.

A very funny riff of a bad (but not painfully so) pilot for a series that never materialized.  As always, lots of good lines and a pacing comfortable for a single-riffer commentary.  The remark about the point where the producers decided to just not bother sending in the money to register the copyright was spot-on.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/good-against-evil-vod-by-toast-and-rice ]
[ https://gumroad.com/toastandrice ]
[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6R8WdxiR1Q ]
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Offline mikelesq

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2169 on: January 31, 2018, 10:06:33 AM »
Quote
A very funny riff of a bad (but not painfully so) pilot for a series that never materialized.  As always, lots of good lines and a pacing comfortable for a single-riffer commentary.  The remark about the point where the producers decided to just not bother sending in the money to register the copyright was spot-on.

Thanks for the review.  Glad you liked it.

There's something charming about failed pilots ala "Codename:Diamondhead".  Everyone is trying so hard, and so often they just fall so flat.  This one was such an obvious "Rosemary's Baby"/"The Exorcist"/"The Omen" ripoff.  It's too bad.  The lead actors were actually pretty good, given what they had to work with.


Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2170 on: February 01, 2018, 02:02:43 PM »
Thanks for the review.  Glad you liked it.

There's something charming about failed pilots ala "Codename:Diamondhead".  Everyone is trying so hard, and so often they just fall so flat.  This one was such an obvious "Rosemary's Baby"/"The Exorcist"/"The Omen" ripoff.  It's too bad.  The lead actors were actually pretty good, given what they had to work with.

Yeah, they were good for the most part.  The script was a soggy mess, though.  I was surprised that the director of this was best known for his 'Gidget' movies, though on reflection, I shouldn't have been.
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Offline Asbestos Bill

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2171 on: February 12, 2018, 10:22:35 AM »
Quiptracks -- "The Christmas Shoes"

TreacheRiffs -- "Lost in Space"

I wonder if we could tempt you to submit these reviews to orderoftheleague.com… Or, barring that, would you mind if we quoted them for promotional purposes?


Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2172 on: February 13, 2018, 06:44:34 AM »
Quiptracks -- "The Christmas Shoes"

TreacheRiffs -- "Lost in Space"

I wonder if we could tempt you to submit these reviews to orderoftheleague.com… Or, barring that, would you mind if we quoted them for promotional purposes?

Just posted them this morning (those and the "Hulk" review from... um... November). Not sure why I have such a time remembering to crosspost, other than it's been a busy winter, and my memory was replaced by a whack-a-mole game some time ago.  :P
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2173 on: February 14, 2018, 09:40:54 AM »
Riff Raff Theater -- "Alien vs. Predator" (Theatrical Version) -- In this famed courtroom drama, a group of acid-spitting xenomorphs sue a group of roughousing predators over having to be hunted in an ancient pyramid beneath Antarctic ice, having to conform to PG-13 ridiculousness, and having to bear the responsibility of ruining two already tottering franchises.  Chris Hansen guest stars as the Alien Queen.

Riff Raff Theater is another group that I read good things about in reviews years back in this thread, so I decided to try this one out.  I'm glad I did, as this was a tremendously entertaining and funny riff of one of my favorite modern 'bad' movies.  I understand the jokes were crowdsourced, but you wouldn't know it from how well they're blended together and delivered.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/riff-raff-theater-alien-vs-predator ]

Josh Way -- "The Wasp Woman" (1959) -- Janice Starling of Starling Cosmetics has problems.  One, she looks slightly over 30, and her company's financial survival is based on her looking slightly under 30.  Two, coming up with a new corporate image ain't happening because her marketing department is made up of old dudes too hammered on their own smug-fumes to have an original thought.  The solution?  Hire a scientist with a miracle cure that turns her into a black-leotard-wearing wasp?-head monster.  Look out, QVC!

As Josh suggests, this movie is basically something Roger Corman farted out over a weekend in 1959.  He delivers a solid, mainly funny riff with lots of good lines throughout, though I could tell the points where the massive amounts of padding Corman injected into it were taking their toll.  Josh Way's commentary made this inert grey lump a fun and quick view.

[ https://shop.joshway.com/magento/index.php/fun-with-flicks-the-wasp-woman-vod.html ]
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Online The Lurker

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2174 on: February 16, 2018, 10:58:56 AM »
Josh Way - Who Lives With You
Great riff from Josh on a particularly fearmongering short on parasitic worms and hand washing.
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/9fm8doqOu-I" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/9fm8doqOu-I</a>