Author Topic: iJust Finished Watching  (Read 334387 times)

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Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1995 on: July 26, 2016, 06:24:00 AM »

About a second riffer.  I actually have an idea for a character to be a second riffer but I need the right movie to introduce him with.  Without saying who/what the character is I will say that it needs to be a movie that involves toys.  If you, or anyone else for that matter, has a good suggestion please let me know.  Ideally it would be a movie that hasn't been done yet and not a comedy.  This character will feed into my on going theme of self deprecating riffs in a big and strange way.
Dollman? Demonic Toys? Dolls? Silent Night Deadly Night 5?
Small Soldiers has some comedic elements, but I think it would take itself seriously to be riffed.



Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1996 on: July 27, 2016, 07:15:50 AM »
Watched this month (so far)...

Hor-Riff-Ic: "Friday the 13th" (Remastered) -- I did watch Friday the 13th riff with the original Hor-Riff-Ic riff, and it was good, but the remastered edition definitely steps up the funny.  (And also pointed out things I never noticed before about the film, and now can't unsee.  Yes, I'm talking about the "package delivery.")

[ http://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/hor-riff-ic-friday-the-13th-remastered ]
[ http://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/hor-riff-ic-friday-the-13th ]

QuipTracks: "Jurassic Park" (5th Anniversary Edition) -- I watched JP with the V2 riff, and it was 4-star good, but this version earns the full five stars.  I still enjoy the movie, but it suffers from over-familiarity, and a consistently funny quick-fire riff like this is dynamite with it.  And its free (on the Order of the League website), so get it already!

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/jurassic-park ]

Ronin Fox Trax: "Dune" - My first RFT riff, and it was a blast!  The film is still visually striking to me (though it isn't aging too gracefully), but that's about all it has going for it, and I enjoyed the mocking the Ronin Fox Trax crew gave it.

[ http://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/ronin-fox-trax-dune ]
[ https://gumroad.com/l/RFTdune# ]
« Last Edit: October 05, 2016, 11:55:15 AM by WhyDontTheyLook »
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Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1997 on: July 27, 2016, 10:41:49 AM »
Watched this month (so far)...

Hor-Riff-Ic: Friday the 13th (Remastered) - I did watch Friday the 13th riff with the original Hor-Riff-Ic riff, and it was good, but the remastered edition definitely steps up the funny.  (And also pointed out things I never noticed before about the film, and now can't unsee.  Yes, I'm talking about the "package delivery.")

Yes, that package should have been labeled fragile.

What they brought up, and now I can't unsee it whenever it happens, is "mud butting". Nobody in movies wipes themselves before coming out of the bathroom stall. EWWW!



Offline WhyDontTheyLook

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1998 on: July 28, 2016, 02:23:57 PM »
Watched this month (so far)...

Hor-Riff-Ic: Friday the 13th (Remastered) - I did watch Friday the 13th riff with the original Hor-Riff-Ic riff, and it was good, but the remastered edition definitely steps up the funny.  (And also pointed out things I never noticed before about the film, and now can't unsee.  Yes, I'm talking about the "package delivery.")

Yes, that package should have been labeled fragile.

What they brought up, and now I can't unsee it whenever it happens, is "mud butting". Nobody in movies wipes themselves before coming out of the bathroom stall. EWWW!

Could be Jason's mother's real motivation.  (I was about to say I could get behind that, but...)
"You never know, in a tight jam a nuclear missile just might come in handy."


Offline wherethefishlives

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1999 on: July 28, 2016, 04:33:37 PM »
FireRiffs new iRiff of Amazing Spider-Man


Sudden Onset Krav Maga Syndrome


Yay! At least one of my jokes made it in!


Offline wherethefishlives

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2000 on: July 30, 2016, 04:27:34 PM »
QuipTracks: Van Helsing
 
An annoying headache of a movie. The action never rests. The comic relief consistently falls flat. Human bodies are tossed about like rag dolls with little consequence. The laws of physics are frequently held in contempt.
I realize all of this could describe any of the Fast and Furious movies that I just can’t get enough of, but those star Vin Diesel and The Rock. That’s exactly the type of movie those dudes should be in. But I like Huge Jackedperson unironically, so I just felt sad for him here. Same for the lovely Kate Beckinsale (even though she stars in her husband's dumb kung fu vampire movies that I haven't watched one second of). They both deserve better.

But thankfully, Quiptracks is here. They have a broad frame of reference between them so the subject matter of the jokes is incredibly varied, much like a classic episode of MST3K. The jokes are almost too rapid fire during the early portions of the film, but either the riffs caught the pacing of the film or I just caught the pacing of the riffs. All in all, it worked out in the end.

Some (but nowhere near all) of the highlights:

-(In old-timey Paris) I see they’ve finished the Eiffel footstool
 
-(When the blonde weirdo that you previously refer to as “Villy Vonka” sticks his chin out like a surfer douche) I totally welcome you to Transylvania. [Not that funny on paper, but I love when a riff perfectly matches an onscreen character’s dumb facial expression.]
 
-(When the castle blows up) Somebody tried to Google “Google”!
[This makes me laugh because I have never tried this and never will, because the mystery is so much greater than whatever the disappointing reality is.]

I give this riff two spinning handsaws that will slash your wrists long before you can use it on any monster.


Offline wherethefishlives

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2001 on: July 30, 2016, 04:33:58 PM »
Quiptracks: The Covenant
 
As someone who has tangled with Renny Harlin before (http://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/drawback-productions-presents-die-hard-2-die-harder), I know the dumb bro-ishness that is inherent in most of his work. At the far end of the D-bag spectrum is The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, in which women are objects just as they are in the stand-up of that film’s star, Andrew “Dice” Clay. On the opposite pole are the supposedly feminist films starring his then wife, Geena Davis, but those movies just seem to be an excuse for Renny to show off his hot wife to everybody. Still pretty bro-ish, IMO.
I guess that puts The Covenent weirdly in the middle of the bro-scale, even though the parts that are tailored toward teenage boys are as Ed Hardy-ish as anything in the Harlin canon. The parts that are awkwardly geared toward teenage girls (lots of dreamy guys showing their abs and such) don’t quite cancel out the more chauvinistic aspects of the film, rendering suitable for as specific an audience imaginable: homosexual teenage boys with little to no fashion sense. Somehow, the movie didn’t do well. Renny is just not the guy to pander to teenage girls.
Quiptracks makes good use of this loud canvas, as they consistently do, with their typically rapid-fire delivery and widely varied style of jokes.

WARNING: This one is decidedly pun-heavy. There’s a lengthy riff on pogo sticks that can test the threshold of even the most adamant wordplay enthusiast… which I consider myself to be, so the fun was in how long could you kept that stream of terribleness going.

Other highlights include (BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO):
 
-(When the cops are chasing them) -Did they get our license number? -I got a vanity plate too embarrassing to call in. We’re invincible.
 
-“Did I ever tell you he was a year younger than you when we met?” Of course it was a lie until now. [I love it when I get a joke even AFTER doing math in my head.]
 
-Every time you reference They Might Be Giants, a Juggalo chokes on his Faygo. [Not being a fan of contemporary music, I was proud of myself for getting this one, too.]
 
-Barkeep, two sleeves, please. [This one worked so well because I was waiting desperately for his sleeveless-ness to be addressed. Making the audience wait for a joke you know they want is a great tactic. It makes the catharsis that much more gratifying. On the flip side, I was dying for somebody to say, "Better keep an eye on that shoulder" when our hero's dumb shirt had an eyeball on the top back corner. Can't win 'em all.]
 
-(While a girl drags a boy onto the dance floor, awkwardly holding his hand above her head.) Made you heil!
 
-I can’t believe I forgot to take off my makeup before bed. [I hate it in movies when a women wakes up or gets out of the shower fully made up, so I support this joke.]
 
-(As the girl reads from ye olde text, The Witches of Ipswitch.) And with that, he dropped off the cliff. “Shit yeah,” exclaimed Tyler, eager to feel included, and he too jumped off the ledge.

I give this riff four Affliction shirts with a couple of speedos thrown in for good measure.


Offline wherethefishlives

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2002 on: July 30, 2016, 04:42:44 PM »
Quiptracks: Equilibrium

How did I not know of Equilibrium before now? It is a weird, terrible movie that I simply couldn’t take my eyes off of.
In the scramble for the next Matrix, somebody decided to add Gun-Fu to Fahrenheit 451. In a future that will never exist, not even a little bit, emotions are outlawed and Christian Bale will punish you by shooting his hand guns around like he’s that Octopus lawn sprinkler from Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. I laughed pretty much every time this happened, and it helped that each instance of gun spasms kept escalating on the last. By the final showdown, I was beside myself. It was like patty cake with overcooked spaghetti noodles.
Quiptracks is a reliable group, and this is no exception. The complete lack of humor, the lengthy pauses, and the absurdity loaded in every frame make this a great subject for riffing and QT does so with gusto.

A few highlights that I wrote down because I was near a writing implement at the time:

-(When nude portraits are hastily hidden from police) Draw clothes on them, quick, before mom sees!
 
-(When a little Nazi kid points out an offender to the emotion cops) He gave me a quarter on Halloween.

-Big face is on? Are you recording?!

-So, you gonna be home for big face tonight? [I enjoyed all the big brother/big face riffs. I also vaguely remember a riff in which big face is looking down at Christian Bale and orders him to clean his nostrils. All good stuff.]

-(After seeing blimp out the window) Somebody stop him. He just got the idea for Sky Captain.
[I particularly love this, because I cannot STAND when scifi movies and TV shows (Watchmen, Fringe, I sure there are others) present zeppelins as an acceptable form of travel, usually with a zeppelin port located at the top of the Empire state building, which we all know is easy to get to in a pinch.]

-If you're one of us you'll kill the puppy. [So dark, so hilarious]

-[When a satellite dish blows up right behind Bale’s head) He overloaded his hearing aid. [Love any joke making fun of a goofy composition.]

-Good thing I was wearing my bulletproof face. [LOVE this. Always hate it in movies when people act invincible in a bulletproof vest, even though nothing is protecting their head.]

-(Standing 3 feet away from where the firing squad is aiming) Hey, just wanted to tell you this is a DUMB place to stand.

-The prison makeup guy did a good job. [Emily Watson always managed to look her best in the future dystopia. See my above review on my distaste for permanently made-up women in film.]

I give this riff two pointy handguns with pointless cleats in the bottom.

BTW, when I tried to describe what Christian Bale was doing in this movie to my wife, she asked me if it was anything like this: https://youtu.be/6Ea053QadGY

Yup. Pretty much. Christian Bale: pioneer of modern dance, just as we all suspected.


Offline Quirk

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2003 on: July 30, 2016, 04:53:02 PM »
Equilibrium is really special. To me, it is THE perfect movie for riffing. I've never seen a movie so deadly serious and SO incredibly goofy at the same time.
QuipTracks VS Alone in the Dark is NOW AVAILABLE!


Offline wherethefishlives

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2004 on: July 30, 2016, 07:40:46 PM »
Quiptracks: Jurassic Park

Like WhyDontTheyLook said earlier in the thread, we've all seen this movie enough times to be pretty sick of it. All the better to watch it with riffs. But even with that being true, I still might place this as my favorite Quiptracks riff that I've seen (though not by far, as Equilibrium was both hilarious and fascinating). It's just very polished and the jokes mostly seem tighter.

Funny jokes are in abundance. Here are but a few of them:

-If it's dangerous, they have guns; if it's tasty, they have fondue forks.

-(As a raptor cage pusher dies) I still oppose the automation of jobs like mine.

-(On the dinosaur dig) Don't scoop with your hand. I've seen cats poop in there.

-"We've clocked the T-Rex at 32 miles per hour" He runs track?

-(During the goofy introduction video) That's how we fill the park with John Hammonds. Any questions?

-(While holding the baby velociraptor) This DOESN'T look very scary. I owe that kid an apology. [I hate that kid from the beginning of the movie because he looks like me as a child.]

-(Humming M:I theme while cow is lowered into the raptor pen.)

-Everyone does a nice impression of the Aussie raptor tamer and Jeff Goldblum. It's good to see impressions used not as a joke but as a tool to accentuate a joke, therefore the impression doesn't wear out its welcome.

-"I don't want to jump to conclusions but…" Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus have never been seen together. [Loved how neatly it fit into the pause.]

-"Dinosaurs eat man, Woman inherits the earth." Thus begins the Oprah-zoic age. [Have no idea how to spell that.]

I give this riff one big pile of shit. (That means it's good!)

And to reiterate, the movie is streaming on Netflix and the riff is free here: https://orderoftheleague.com/products/jurassic-park

Don't sleep on this like I usually do with everything which causes my life to be disappointing.


Offline ithonicfury

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2005 on: July 30, 2016, 07:53:04 PM »
Equilibrium is really special. To me, it is THE perfect movie for riffing. I've never seen a movie so deadly serious and SO incredibly goofy at the same time.

The book ...umm, standoff?... scene with Sean Bean was my favorite, like what even was that? The riffing for it was perfect.

Also I cant see the word equilibrium in any context anymore without saying ecckkkwahlibrium to myself, so thanks for that I guess.


Online RVR II

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2006 on: July 31, 2016, 08:29:06 AM »
Just finished watching the latest iRiffs of Star Trek Voyager Season 2 Ep. 203 & 204 from Quiptracks & Ice on Mars.
Both were very funny and I highly recommend them both! :D :D

Oh, and I like the fact that both episodes were released at the same time to reauthor simultaneously and give me an hour and 30 minutes of riffs to enjoy 8)


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2007 on: July 31, 2016, 06:50:48 PM »
Good job with all the reviews, wherethefishlives. I'm glad you enjoyed them,



Offline zenmichael

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2008 on: July 31, 2016, 08:39:37 PM »
Michael T Bradley
Ice on Mars


Offline Quirk

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #2009 on: July 31, 2016, 08:44:20 PM »

Don't miss Tristan & myself tackling Equilibrium on my podcast, What the Film!
https://soundcloud.com/michael-t-bradley/what-the-film-43-equilibrium?in=michael-t-bradley/sets/what-the-film

This is a really good listen after you've seen it recently. Tristan gets to dive into all the idiotic things we couldn't insult in the QuipTrack.
QuipTracks VS Alone in the Dark is NOW AVAILABLE!