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Author Topic: iJust Finished Watching  (Read 309262 times)

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Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1185 on: July 10, 2012, 07:11:04 PM »
Voyager season 1 episode 12: Cathexis - So we have a pointless boring holodeck scene, more of Chapotek's bullcrap Native American mysticism, an energy being, and Neelix being annoying. This is practically the entire show consolidated into one.
I like Bob Picardo's character even more, now that he's the only one who finds Lieutenant Paris annoying.
It says a lot about how much we don't give a shit about these characters that I had completely forgotten that Chepotek's mind/energy/whatever had left his body by the time it was brought back up again near the end of the episode.

JC Walsh is another riffer I haven't tried yet, but his intro alone impressed me and I was sure I was in for a good riff. I was right, this was quite good. Lots of good lines. I will have to check out some more riffs by him. I know his Red Riding Hood riff made it on the Top 50 iRiffs list.



I love the Cathexis commercial during the opening credits ("cure all these diseases by shut up, that's how").

They wrote their own slashfic?

The blinky things and the wavy things are down.

Why does she have a bust of the guy from Hoobastank?

Hi, Billy Mayes here for uncut Columbian cocaine!

I love all the "wait for it..." riffs during Kim's Shatner-esque pauses.

I'll turn on the air conditioning if you move.

Angelina Jolie wants her lips back.

"We are the Komar. This is our domain." --- We own the White Castle.

Why is the 'Eject Warp Core' button right next to the lights?

I nobody freaked out that a guy's sould left his body and took over people's bodies? They're all just blinking at this.




Offline mr.b.natural

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1186 on: July 10, 2012, 07:14:30 PM »
I thought about warning you about Prime Factors but I kinda know Darren and didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings.  :-\
That's okay. Are any of the other Dogknob iRiffs better than this one?

No.


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1187 on: July 10, 2012, 09:12:18 PM »
Voyager season 1 episode 13: Faces - A "split personality" episode with all the usual blunt force trauma version of "subtlety" that Voyager (and lets face it, lots of Star Trek) is known for. Seriously, this makes Superman 3 look like Fight Club.
  Great, another even more annoying version of Neelix. THAT'S what this series needed. Oh, wait I was wrong, what this series really needed an ugly Klingon trying to sexually come on to a horribly disfigured patchwork man. Ewww.
  An entire episode just to prove that Torres' spine is her Klingon half? Seriously, she becomes even more annoying when she is fully human, and the message of the episode is that humans are inherantly pussies. Fuck you Voyager!

Ice on Mars riffs this episode, and it is quite good. And even a mention of one of the recurring gags from the Pilot, yaay.



I've entered Pon Farr!

Is that John Waters? Wierd role for him.

"What is it?" --- Cell phone from 1992?

So just keep smacking Wang into the wall until it gives.

Oh, wait till I tell king Kreuger.

Please say they make out. Please say they make out.

I guess I shouldn't have Tweeted where we were.



Offline Riffman for Hire

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1188 on: July 11, 2012, 03:45:34 PM »
Just watched One Man Band’s riff of The Thing.  And unfortunately I have to give it one out of five stars.

First the good news.  From a technical standpoint, the riff was superb.  The audio came through very well and I didn’t have to raise the volume on my VLC player unlike some of the other riffs I’ve purchased.  Also it was synced well.  SJP’s voice was very clear and easy to understand.  There was no hissing, popping or other background noise.  Overall, it sounded very professional.

Now for the bad news.  I didn’t laugh once during this riff.  I really wanted to like it, but I just did not find it funny in the slightest.  Finally, after around thirty minutes (at the “it’s imitation” sync line), I had to shut it off.  Until now I have always listened to a riff the whole way through, but I could not stand this one.  Since I didn’t listen to the whole thing, I can only vouch for the first half hour.  But here are some of my specific criticisms.

The opening in the bunker with the computer:  I thought that the skit went on for way too long and the jokes felt extremely forced.  I did like the Sgt. Crumley voice (it reminded me of Captain Dale Dye from Platoon), but the voice of the computer really grated on me with its faux British accent and its whiny electronic tone.  By the third minute, I was ready to skip past it.

The actual riff: One of my main criticisms of the riff is the delivery.  SJP’s tone felt too rote and stilted for my tastes, almost as if it the riff was over-rehearsed.  Some of the jokes might have been funny, like the dog pulling the helicopter, but they were delivered in such a dry way that I couldn’t laugh along with him.  Except for a few cases, I felt there was a distinct lack of emotion in the riff.  In the best riffs, I feel that the riffer or riffers are really emotionally engaged with the movie (e.g. Cinester Theater’s Total Recall).  Here I felt that the detached riffing style kept me at a distance rather than pulling me in.

Some of the joke choices really had me scratching my head.  For example, “Here at Dover fresh cliffs are flown in daily” riff in the beginning.  I couldn’t fathom why in the world that would be funny.  And puns like “Windows in sleep mode” had me groaning—and not in a good way.  In other cases, the jokes felt too obvious.  Like Wilford Brimley and Quaker Oats.  That’s not to say that the obvious choice is always the wrong one, but here it felt like you went for the easy riff one too many times.  Next time I’d suggest going for the unconventional joke more often.

Another problem I had with the riff was the repetition. Certain jokes such as Garry sounding like Punky Brewster’s dad and the Bjork jokes weren’t funny the first time.  But after the third or fourth time you said them, I found them to be really insufferable.  Obviously it’s very difficult to have different jokes throughout a riff, but I think it would help if the running jokes had more of a bigger, funnier payoff than they had here.

Finally, I felt that you used too many jokes in the riff.  I’d suggest letting the movie breathe some more.

As a small caveat, I think riffing The Thing is a lot harder than I imagined it would be.  Scenes like the dog kennel attack would be hard to riff under any circumstance and I would have trouble laughing no matter who was riffing that part (I don’t like seeing film violence against animals, especially dogs).  Having said that, the kennel scene doesn’t come in for around thirty minutes and I was squirming in my seat long before then (for reasons that didn’t involve the movie or needing to go to the bathroom).

I choose the riff in part because of its place on the top 50 iriffs list.  However, I feel that it wasn’t really warranted.  There were other better riffs (Temple of Doom and Dracula come to mind) that deserved the spot.  In this case, I didn’t think that the list adequately represented the quality of the product.

Please bear in mind that this is only my opinion and other viewers may have liked this riff.  I don’t like to slam other riffers, but I have to be honest.  This riff did not work for me and I would not recommend it.


Offline Asbestos Bill

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1189 on: July 11, 2012, 05:31:15 PM »
By the way, my likes in this thread do not necessarily mean I agree with the review (I haven't seen The Thing); I just like that people are watching and reviewing iRiffs again.

But as for that Dog Knob riff, I couldn't make it through ten minutes (up to that scene that was just farts). It's a shame, because I think "Dog Knob" and "Do You Dare Open This Dog?" are among the best names and taglines. "Harass Bastards" is another good one. Sad.


Offline k1

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1190 on: July 11, 2012, 05:46:36 PM »
Agreed. I also like that people are watching & reviewing iRiffs again.


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1191 on: July 11, 2012, 06:10:18 PM »
Voyager season 1 episode 14: Jetrel - A very slow and talky episode, centered around Neelix, and blatant WWII Heroshima analogy. Yet still this is surprisingly the best episode of Voyager so far. I am not kidding. Yes, Neelix is usually useless and annoying. But that is because he is a side character often relegated to crappy comic releif. Ironically, by making the episode Neelix centered, he's not particularly annoying here. And really, Ethan Phillips is a good actor, he does a good job here.
  Also ironic is that the stuff late in the episode that is the only Star Treky stuff to be had, is technobabble that doesn't work for once. And that for once the characters take one look at this technobabble, and say it sounds far fetched and probably won't work.

This is the first Just Andrew riff I have seen. Unfortunately, the riff really wasn't funny. There isn't anything wrong with it on a technical level (although, again, starting the riff right when the episode starts is not a good idea). The jokes just weren't funny. Below are a few that I kinda chuckled at, but that's about it.

I did like the samples for Just Andrew's riffs of the commercials better than this, and those made it onto the Top iRiff list, so maybe that is a better representation of his work.


So that's either a solar flare, or there's a bigass McDonalds on the sun.

Ok, the stuff in that bowl is what's left of your family.

Like Lunchables.

Hey, it's Crow T. Robot's DNA.

I am one pissed extra.





Offline mr.b.natural

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1192 on: July 11, 2012, 06:29:08 PM »
It's a shame, because I think "Dog Knob" and "Do You Dare Open This Dog?" are among the best names and taglines.

I know!  And they take recording and audio quality very seriously and like for the "Crawling Eye" they managed to get a hold of a REALLY nice remastered copy of the movie and they wanted to experiment in stereo and they even have their own website and everything.  They have all of the infrastructure and know-how for a great riffing business but then...they aren't funny.   :'(

I can't help but notice no one has reviewed ANY of my many joint riffs with Atomic Treatment.  Sales have been lousy, much worse than my solo stuff, and we haven't seen any feedback.  I find it odd since the only two consistent criticisms I get are 1) People seem to have a natural prejudice against solo riffers and 2) I don't have enough jokes.  Well here I am paired with the best riff writer in the biz and no one is watching.  What gives?     


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1193 on: July 11, 2012, 07:12:12 PM »
Voyager season 1 episode 15: Learning Curve - And the big bad for the series finale is...CHEESE! I am not making this up. They defeat this by raising the thermostat. STAR TREK! BOLDLY GOING WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE!
  "Get the cheese to sick bay." It's not a riff, but still by far the funniest thing on this show.
  15 episodes in and they finally decide to train the untrained non-Starfleet characters you just gave jobs around the ship?! And their main training seems to consist mostly of exercise? And...frat house initiation pranks? As well as teaching them the value of running away.
  So advanced starships run on GEL PACKS?! WHAT?! They are in bags, and can get infected somehow.
  Okay, they have a blue Uncle Fester! Just...a blue Uncle Fester!


Ice on Mars riffs this one, and as usual it is good. Their best was still the Pilot, but this is not a bad way to end the series riffing.

I will say, during the opening credits sequence there is extended tranny jokes. Just mentioning it because of the recent thread discussion.



And heeee phasers them!

The patient is...really sick?

And I'll snap you in half!

Then I got over it!

RELEASE MEEEEE!



Offline mattwnelson

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1194 on: July 11, 2012, 07:31:19 PM »
I think you and I must have different senses of what's funny, DG, because OMB and JA are two of my favorite riffers. I take it you've never heard the song "Cliffs of Dover", which is what I think Andrew was referencing, btw. Or maybe just the cliffs of Dover. Either way...

Then again, we agreed on Dogknob and Quiptracks. Not sure what to make of that.

Still! It is nice to see reviews! Can you still rate them? Last I looked the star rating thing wasn't on the page anymore. Hmm.


Offline Riffman for Hire

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1195 on: July 11, 2012, 07:39:46 PM »
I think you and I must have different senses of what's funny, DG, because OMB and JA are two of my favorite riffers. I take it you've never heard the song "Cliffs of Dover", which is what I think Andrew was referencing, btw. Or maybe just the cliffs of Dover. Either way...

Um, I reviewed The Thing, mattwnelson, not Darth Geek. 

As for Cliffs of Dover, I did know the WWII song beforehand and catch the reference.  Unfortunately, knowing the reference still didn't make it funny for me.  Different tastes in humor, maybe.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2012, 07:41:21 PM by Riffman for Hire »


Offline mr.b.natural

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1196 on: July 11, 2012, 07:42:48 PM »
Can you still rate them? Last I looked the star rating thing wasn't on the page anymore. Hmm.

I can't rate anything.

I forgot to mention during my last whining session that if anyone was interested in reviewing any of my joint riffs I can try to grant them the files, they are all VODs.  I think the grant feature still works. 


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1197 on: July 11, 2012, 07:53:27 PM »
Well, that concludes my reviewing of the Voyager season 1 riffs. And what did I think? Hooo boy, I had heard how bad Voyager was, but I was NOT prepared for that! I was not kidding when I said that the dull talky episode centered around Neelix was the best one. This entire series had been aweful from the get go. It amazes me that this lasted as long as it did.
  The riff series was mostly good to excellent, with few exceptions. I personally would have prefered more groups being involved so each one would be different, but I know this was a monumental task as it was. And more Ice on Mars isn't a bad thing. Kudos to Michael T. Bradley for getting all of this together.



Offline mattwnelson

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1198 on: July 11, 2012, 07:59:11 PM »
I think you and I must have different senses of what's funny, DG, because OMB and JA are two of my favorite riffers. I take it you've never heard the song "Cliffs of Dover", which is what I think Andrew was referencing, btw. Or maybe just the cliffs of Dover. Either way...

Um, I reviewed The Thing, mattwnelson, not Darth Geek. 

As for Cliffs of Dover, I did know the WWII song beforehand and catch the reference.  Unfortunately, knowing the reference still didn't make it funny for me.  Different tastes in humor, maybe.

Oops. Sorry man, got it confused with the Voyager review.

I guess sometimes I just enjoy the "Get what I'm referencing? I'M SO CLEVER" riffs. It's fun to be that guy sometimes.


Offline D.B. Barnes

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Re: iJust Finished Watching
« Reply #1199 on: July 11, 2012, 08:16:56 PM »
Riffman, I haven't seen OMB's The Thing, but if I had to pick one to watch with the idea of giving him another shot, I'd point you towards Ice Pirates. I think it's his best work. Of course, I love SJP's stuff, so there might just be a humor subjectivity disconnect here, but maybe give it one more shot before you give up on him entirely.
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