iJust Finished Watching

[WhyDontTheyLook]

TreacheRiffs - "Star Trek Voyager - 'State of Flux'" -- There's a traitor on board Voyager, and Chakotay has to figure out who it is!  Could it be... the bland curly-haired guy we've only seen in one other episode?  Or is it the character who is really obviously the traitor from the start?  What a conundrum!  TreacheRiffs shines in taking apart this suspenseless exercise in espionage shenanigans and skewering Voyager's worst S1 tendencies in the process.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/stv-110-state-of-flux ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/treacheriffs-star-trek-voyager-state-of-flux-1x11 ]

Riff Raff Theater - "Star Trek: Voyager - 'Heroes and Demons'" -- Voyager is mucking about with photonic energy from a star when suddenly A Thing Happens, and next thing you know, The Doctor (no, not *that* The Doctor, the bald one) has to get medieval on a lot of holographic asses.  It's even more contrived than I make it sound, though okay in execution, thanks to Robert Picardo's performance and the complete absence of Neelix.  Riff Raff Theater is funny and energetic throughout their riffing, making for a very enjoyable hour.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/riff-raff-theater-star-trek-voyager-1x12-heroes-and-demons ]

OneWallCinema - "Chevy Leader News 9-10"/"Cinco de Mustache"/"Barbers of Riffsville"/"LSD & Vinage Commercials" -- A lot of the riff groups that I've partaken of so far are bring great energy to their performances, but I'm not sure I've heard any that are so clearly having a blast as much as the One Wall Cinema crew.  That especially comes through in these short feature and commercial riffs.

'Chevy Leader News' 9 and 10 caught me up on their riffs of these old-time reels of 1940s goings on.  I was in a sour mood when I started them (not my usual starting point), but I cheered up pretty quickly as they mocked the weird goings on (which featured surprisingly few animals in dangerous situations).  The fun continued through 'Cinco de Mustache' (a compilation of vintage shaving-related commercials) and the two shorts in 'the Barbers of Riffsville' (an odd and kind of interesting Al Jazeera spot on a barber from Mosul travelling to Beirut for a singing competition that ends abruptly and is followed by a more standard old short contrasting 50s barber shops with beauty parlors).  But my favorite bit ended up being the 'LSD case study' featured in the last compilation--that was absolutely bonkers in the best way.

[ https://gumroad.com/onewallcinema ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/onewallcinema-cinco-de-mustache-shaving-spectacular ]

[k1]

Thanks for the kind words!  We definitely have a blast riffing & we prefer our unscripted that we have moved to. We find it really works with the more bizarre stuff as we slowly lose our minds.

We do have a few more Chevy leader News that we need to record at some point. (Darn life getting in the way) I’ll try and touch base with my brother to see what we can do. It’s been far too long.

[WhyDontTheyLook]

Drawback Productions -- "Hard to Kill" (1990) -- Steven Seagal oozes his way through this revenge flick where he's a cop who got shot repeatedly by all the other actors for including them in his film dirty cops who made a deal with a shady politician, who he was going to expose.  Awakening after seven years in a coma, having had his death faked by a friend, he enlists his nurse in recovery and vengeance.

Seagal is about as loathsome as they come, and Drew and Megan don't hold back in gleefully (and hilariously) savaging him at every opportunity.  Loads of great lines, funny throughout, and about the only way I'd want to see a Seagal movie.  At least, *this* Seagal movie--it'd sound weird playing these riffs over a different one.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/hard-to-kill ]

Quiptracks -- "The Forgotten" (2004) -- There was this... um... movie?... I think... and it had... oh, whatsherface... Julianne something-or-other, and she's looking for... I dunno... her agent?  *looks at note*  Her son?  No, that doesn't sound right, I know for a fact her character doesn't have a son, the alien overlords said so, and they're never wroooonnn-- *gets yanked into clouds*

This movie's a mess, and not even a hot one.  More like a cold, wet one that's been left on the counter too long.  Quiptracks does a great job in riffing it, though the first third of the film is still a bit of a slog, given all they have to work with is Julianne Moore being sad and yelly at people.  Once the evil/incompetent NSA guys show up, though, and the film gets a little less mopey and a lot more stupid, the riffs really take off.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/the-forgotten ]

[zenmichael]

Quiptracks -- "The Forgotten" (2004) -- There was this... um... movie?... I think... and it had... oh, whatsherface... Julianne something-or-other, and she's looking for... I dunno... her agent?  *looks at note*  Her son?  No, that doesn't sound right, I know for a fact her character doesn't have a son, the alien overlords said so, and they're never wroooonnn-- *gets yanked into clouds*

This movie's a mess, and not even a hot one.  More like a cold, wet one that's been left on the counter too long.  Quiptracks does a great job in riffing it, though the first third of the film is still a bit of a slog, given all they have to work with is Julianne Moore being sad and yelly at people.  Once the evil/incompetent NSA guys show up, though, and the film gets a little less mopey and a lot more stupid, the riffs really take off.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/the-forgotten ]

"Just get on the plane, kid."

[WhyDontTheyLook]

Cinester Theater -- "A Charlie Brown Christmas" -- Directoral control of the annual holiday pageant is somehow given to enfant terrible Charlie Brown.  The power-mad tot immediately challenges the senses of his classmates by forcing upon them the most austerely tiny Christmas tree he can find, while his right-hand enforcer Linus bombards them with Biblical wisdom until they submit to the tyrannical auteur's vision.  Or maybe it's having to repeatedly dance in place to their theme music that finally makes them crack.

Okay, maybe it didn't go down *exactly* like that.  It's still a pretty charming half-hour, even if it hasn't aged quite as well as 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.'  Cinester Theater provides a superb, darkly funny riff that bring fresh laughs to the familiar proceedings, well worth adding to your holiday riff collection.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinester-theater-presents-a-charlie-brown-christmas ]

Riff Raff Theater -- "Die Hard" -- NYPD detective John McClane is in Los Angeles to visit his estranged family and nom on as much corporate Christmas party kibble as he can.  Unfortunately for him, an assortment of mainly Europe-y thieves has descended on the corporation's skyscraper to pretend to be terrorists, blow stuff up, and steal things, in about that order.

Riff Raff Theater turns in a pretty good riff on a classic action picture.  It's maybe not as tight or consistently hilarious as their 'Alien vs Predator' riff, but it has a lot of great lines and banter, so I didn't mind the bits that didn't work for me so much.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/riff-raff-theater-die-hard ]

[WhyDontTheyLook]

Toast and Rice -- "13 More Shorts" -- And now I am caught up on all the Toasts and all the Rices, by watching about 13 riffed shorts over 3 days.  Among them were year-round types such as "Let's Talk Turkey," "Wreckless," "Friendship Begins at Home," "Don't Get Angry," "Gardening," "Once and Forever," "How Honest Are You," and a couple riffed commercials for Timex and Vicks.  All of which were expertly roasted with his wry, well-timed style.

But really what I was looking forward to were his Christmas season riffs -- "Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen," "The Snow Man," "Santa in Animal Land," and "A Christmas Fantasy."  Of these, "the Snow Man" was my favorite -- such a bizarre cartoon, and one I've never seen riffed before.  But all of them were a lot of fun to catch in my runup to Christmas.

[ http://www.toastandrice.com/buy-riffs ]
[ https://gumroad.com/toastandrice ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/toast-and-rice ]
[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP_iqceL88g&list=PLbFspqDEOoOOxYc5gggneZNGKsE7t1yj6 ]

Hor-Riff-ic -- "Monster Squad" -- A hundred years or so after nearly being banished by Van Helsing, Dracula, the Wolf-Man, the Mummy, the Gill-Man, and Frankenstein's Monster come to 80s suburban America looking to put the hurt on an Amulet of Concentrated Good, thereby plunging the world into evil and chaos.  They succeeded, of course, resulting in the world you see around you today.  But imagine if, instead, a group of plucky kids used their superior knowledge of monster movies to fight them!  That's pretty much what we get here.

A pretty fun, cheesy movie, though kind of hit-and-miss throughout.  Hor-Riff-Ic takes it to this film with their usual sharp wit and flair for puns, working pretty well with the material (though sometimes I was paying more attention to the movie than the riffs--it probably would have been a good idea for me to watch it unriffed the first time around).

[ https://hor-riff-ic.com/2013/04/20/monster-squad/ ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/hor-riff-ic-monster-squad ]

[WhyDontTheyLook]

One Man Band -- "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans" -- Once upon a time, a bearded, muffiny werewolf--sorry, 'Lycan'--fell in cliff sex love with a vampire who was not Kate Beckinsale.  This angered her father, who then tried to save his daughter by chewing all the scenery within a nine-mile radius, until the Lycans decided they had to put a stop to it.  The resulting dull slog of a battle made this prequel, unlike all other prequels ever, instantly forgettable.

The One Man Band is a Two Man Band here, joined by Moleman in his riffing, and they turn in a hilarious riff on a very clunky and silly movie.  I admit to liking the first two Underworld movies, but this film never gelled with me, and their jokes here expertly target the reasons why.  Lots of fun all the way through.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/underworld-rise-of-the-lycans-the-two-man-band ]

Cinemasochism -- "9 Shorts" -- I dipped into a pile of shorts from Cinemasochism recently.  The ones I checked out were the early nine of their (so far) 18 releases: "Am I Normal?", "As Boys Grow", "Boys Beware", "Dining Together", "Halloween Safety" (1977), "Joe Santa Claus", "Let's Give a Tea", "Meats with Approval", and "Office Courtesy".

In the main, I enjoyed them, but not without some caveats.  More of their jokes landed than missed, and while they did go dark on some shorts, they didn't go too dark, which worked to their benefit.  Some jokes got repeated (not within shorts, but across several shorts, something I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been watching them back-to-back).  There are two riffers, but their voices are so similar, and the banter between them nearly nonexistent, that at first I thought I was listening to a solo riffer--not that that matters, as I like solo riffers.  Like I said, overall enjoyable; I'll be checking out their later nine shorts soon.

[ https://www.cinemasochism.com/ ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinemasochism-am-i-normal ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinemasochism-as-boys-grow ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinemasochism-boys-beware ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinemasochism-dining-together ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinemasochism-halloween-safety-1977 ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinemasochism-joe-santa-claus ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinemasochism-lets-give-a-tea ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinemasochism-meats-with-approval ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/cinemasochism-office-courtesy-meeting-the-public ]

[WhyDontTheyLook]

Ghosts on the Big Brown Couch -- "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things" -- Graverobbing and entering into unholy matrimony with the desecrated dead make for a great weekend's fun, but somehow they seem draggy and dull in this seventies zombie schlock-fest.  It's mainly padding until the last twenty (admittedly fun) minutes when the undead take their revenge on the adult 'children' for bad-mouthing Satan and some terrible Yiddish schtick.  (At least, I think that was their whole issue; admittedly, they never came out and just said that.)

I've seen this film described as a horror-comedy, despite it being neither convincingly horrifying nor detectably funny, and the GotBBC crew is on point in ripping it to shreds with their riffs.  Their animated host segments, which I've been down on in the past, played better this time around, and included a great guest vocal appearance from Scott Zee as a paranormal investigator.

[ https://gumroad.com/riffplucker ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/children-shouldnt-play-with-dead-things-gotbbc-episode-6 ]

Ice on Mars -- "Star Trek Voyager - 'Learning Curve'" -- The crew of Voyager has faced some pretty horrific challenges in the Delta Quadrant, but now they must face... Neelix's cheese! Which is poisoning the ship somehow.  Oh, and Tuvok and some former Maquis he's training in the anal-retentive ways of Starfleet learn valuable life lessons or something.  Michael T. Bradley is joined here by J. Wilford Neville in mocking the tepid filler episode that was made into the Voyager season one finale, making it fun to get through.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/stv-115-learning-curve ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/star-trek-voyager-learning-curve ]

Ice on Mars/Quiptracks -- "Star Trek Voyager - 'The 37s'" -- In the second season premiere of Voyager, Janeway and her crew find a bunch of people abducted from Earth in the 1930s in suspended animation on an alien world, one of whom turns out to be the courageous and inspiring Amelia Earhart (who can hardly get a word in edgewise, with Janeway constantly telling her how courageous and inspiring she is).  Michael is joined here by Tristan from Quiptracks, and they deliver a solid and very funny riffing of this intriguing but ultimately wasted episode.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/stv-201-the-37s ]

[WhyDontTheyLook]

Quiptracks -- "Alone in the Dark" (2005) -- There's precious little aloneness, a lot of darkness, and way too much Uwe Boll-ness in this hilariously terrible movie based on a much better video game.  Christian Slater and Tara Reid team up to try to stop the end of the world and avoid emoting, and succeed at one of these.

Quiptracks' latest is a massively funny takedown of one of Uwe Boll's most notoriously bad video game adaptations.  I loved the game, and still remember how gobsmacked I was when I first saw the movie (in the sunny, innocent days before I knew to associate Uwe's name with crap), so I took an even greater delight than usual in Quiptracks' delicious mocking of the inept goings-on.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/alone-in-the-dark ]

Incognito Cinema Warriors XP -- "Safety Woman: In Danger Out of Doors"/"Linda's Film on Menstruation" ("205: Bad Guys Wear #000000") -- In the most recent entry from the riffing group now better known as Robot Co-Op, Rick Wolf and his robot crew are beset by zombie-loving cultists.  Worse yet, they're forced to view and riff a weird short about a safety-oriented seventies heroine, and an educational film on menstruation.

Previous second-season entries have been kind of hit-and-miss on the host segments (which occupy the majority of the episodes), but here most of it is well-done and funny.  You can really see how all the game riffing they've been doing as Robot Co-Op has improved their comedic chops and timing here.  The riffs on the shorts are fun as well, but if you've been following ICWXP to date, that's only to be expected.

[ https://www.icwxp.com/205-2/ ]

[WhyDontTheyLook]

JC Walsh -- "Drive Angry" -- Nicholas Cage is John Milton, who has escaped from hell (surprisingly not defined as his movie career of the past decade) and is hot on the trail of a cult leader who's trying to bring about hell on earth by sacrificing Milton's daughter to Satan.  Accompanied by a sexy, trashy waitress and pursued by a sexy, trashy CPA from hell, he has to chase, shoot, and blow up a lot of stuff along the way.

The movie's actually a pretty good grindhouse/exploitation-style film, with everyone involved having indecent amounts of fun with its sleazy premise.  J.C. Walsh does his usual good job with the solo riffing here, adding a lot of laughs while not getting in the way of the movie, so the riff is worth getting... just don't be surprised if you enjoy the film just as much without it (I mean, if you like these kind of things).

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/drive-angry-in-2-d ]

Ronin Fox Trax -- "A Nightmare on Elm Street" (1984) -- A generation ago, a group of parents murder-broiled a child-murderer-janitor type, and figured that was the end of it.  But wouldn't you know it, he's back in the dreams of their kids, using nebulous and arbitrary dream-logic to bump them off and possibly prevent Johnny Depp's movie career.  The creepy singing kids?  Dunno, man, I think they're working on spec.

This was Ronin Fox Trax'x first riff.  I figured maybe it would be rough around the edges, but it turned out to be well-polished and very funny.  It complements this classic eighties slasher--one of my favorites--nicely, neither getting in the way of enjoying the movie nor letting the movie outshine it.  The Nightmare series is one of my favorites, so I'm definitely looking forward to further riffs in this series.

[ https://gumroad.com/RoninFoxTrax ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/ronin-fox-trax-a-nightmare-on-elm-street ]

[WhyDontTheyLook]

Quiptracks -- "In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds" (alternate riff) -- A sorceress time-travels from medieval Canada to modern times to find ex-soldier Dolph Lundgren, who has been prophesized to be the only reason to see this micro-budgeted turd of a Uwe Boll movie.  Dolph gets pulled back into the past, where he lumbers about rickety cardboard castles and some pretty forests until a CGI dragon burns up the remaining budget.  I wish I was kidding.

This was a very fun second pass through this issuance from Uwe Boll's cinematic colon.  Both this riff and the original one are hilarious, so I don't know that I can really pick one that's 'better' than the other.  But this one does have something more of a casual, at times experimental feel, without sacrificing the funny.  If you can't decide, get both!

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/collections/quiptracks/products/itnotk2-alt ]

That's Cool, That's Trash -- "Ghosts of Hanley House" -- Six vaguely established characters spend a night in the haunted Hanley House, as a result of a bet one makes with another.  They're subjected to an assortment of contrived attempts at haunting, enough padding to fill a mattress warehouse, and some of the oddest background music I've ever heard. Will they make it to morning? (Depends on what you mean--night alternated with day a lot in this one.)

TCTT's latest riff was released in three parts on YouTube a while ago, though I didn't get a chance to watch until recently.  Part one felt a bit hit-and-miss, but once all the characters made it to Hanley House in part two, the riff started hitting its stride and was highly entertaining the rest of the way through.  Always good to see new material from these guys.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgDvZ3a8sRQ&list=PLDVs69rBXRR3vvv6HbYGdHFFVz1uwPvhk ]

[WhyDontTheyLook]

Hor-Riff-Ic -- "Friday the 13th Pt. 5: A New Beginning" -- After conclusively, definitely, no-doubt-about-it killing off Jason Voorhees in the last installment, the makers of the Friday the 13th films had a dilemma on their hands: namely, should they cash in by bringing Jason back, or cash in by pretending to bring Jason back?  Given how high they probably were at the time, this was a harder question that it sounds.  And if you've seen the movie, you know the answer (i.e. "I dunno, I forgot what happened in the movie before the credits were over").

Hor-Riff-Ic is massively funny, of course, in riffing this tepid turd of a sequel.  For previous parts of the series, you could maybe enjoy the goings on even without the riffing, but for this one, its a necessity.  They made this thing not only watchable but great fun, and I'm hoping they'll someday take it to the rest of the series.

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/hor-riff-ic-friday-the-13th-part-v ]

SRD's Movie Night -- "Megaman" -- Professor Light, Nobel Prize Winner and builder of robot Asians, is betrayed by the evil Dr. Wily, who threatens to out-scenery-chew Jim Carrey's Dr. Eggman unless the world gives in to his demands.  Oh, and he'll send his own robots to inconvenience people into surrendering, too.  Can Mega-Man defeat Wily's cheap CGI and greenscreen technology?  Can Wily's mustache maintain continuity with itself?

This was a 2010 microbudget indy film, with all the restrictions that implies.  Kind of fun for what it is, but nothing earth-shattering.  Sugar Ray Dodge is joined by a co-riffer, Vincent Ferrari, for this outing, and seems a lot more high-spirited than he was in previous Movie Night riffs.  More of the jokes hit, and the banter between them is entertaining.  The riff itself is free, and the movie's on YouTube.

[ http://movienight.sugarraydodge.com/2016/01/29/episode-4-megaman/ ]

[WhyDontTheyLook]

Quiptracks -- "The Last Airbender" (2010) -- So, in an Earth-like world where everyone's neatly split up into four groups of People What Can Bend Stuff (except for the Air Nation, which consists of Just This One Guy), the Fire Nation wants to take over everything.  Because, I dunno, Fire Bad?  I never saw the animation this movie was based on, but I'm assured it made a lot more sense, was a lot more fun and intelligent, and wouldn't make my eyes want to roll back into my head until it was over.

Quiptracks is always top-notch, but they especially shine when going up against the works of M. Night Shyamalan, and especially especially this one, when the auteur is at his most smugly self-indulgent.  This was a satisfying and energetic takedown of a solemn and dull movie I wouldn't ever want to watch unriffed.

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/products/the-last-airbender ]

FireRiffs -- "Josh Kirby... Time Warrior: Planet of the Dino Knights" -- Right, let me see if I have this straight.  There's this scientist, Irwin 1138, who makes a Nullifier, and then scatters its pieces through time and space because... reasons?  Then there's this other scientist, Dr. Zoetrope, driven insane by having the only great name in the movie, whose trying to get all the pieces so he can finally get some pressing Nullifying business done.  And Josh Kirby, who gets inadvertantly scooped up into the chase by Irwin 1138 because this plot just clearly needs a smarmy Disney-esque teenage nitwit involved.  They go to an alternate-Earth medieval England where there are a couple dinosaurs left, and then, just when it looks like something interesting might happen, we're left with a cliffhanger.  Is that about it?

This was one of FireRiffs early efforts--often funny, though occasionally crude, and not as polished as his later scripted riffs would become.  I still enjoyed it, though it was a bit of work just to find someplace where I could watch the movie.  I couldn't even find a dvd copy--fortunately, I eventually found it was streaming on Tubi (with ads, which made watching with the riffs a bit of an adventure).

[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/fireriffs-presents-josh-kirby-time-warrior-planet-of-the-dino-knights ]

[fireyf]

Yeah, it's kind of an obscure film.  Part of why I never did anymore of the series.  I wish I could sell it as a VOD.

[WhyDontTheyLook]

Josh Way -- "Fun with Shorts Vol. 4" -- In this block of short features, we're invited to tackle challenges facing today's teens (specifically, teens of this day in 1958 or so) in features such as "Cindy Goes to a Party," "Beginning to Date," and "Shy Guy."  And because tackling isn't really a safe thing to do, we learn remedial safety in "Magic in the Air" and "Safety: Harm Hides at Home."  And since at this point we're so safe there's pretty much nothing else to do, we're forced to resort to pondering "The Fun of Being Thoughtful" and how to grow some "Good Table Manners."  By then, we're dead, so we finally "Leave it to ROLL-OH."

With the fourth of these blocks of shorts riffed by Josh Way, I'm beginning to detect a pattern.  Namely, these are shorts, and he's having fun with them!  Yeah, I think I'm running out of ways to say Josh is very funny in riffing shorts, and that this block is no exception.  Fortunately, this is the sixth block I've riffed, which means there's only... um... (looks at website)... twenty to go.  Wow.  (No, seriously, wow!)

[ https://shop.joshway.com/shop/product/fun-with-shorts-volume-4/ ]

Drawback Productions -- "Fast Five" -- At the end of the previous installment, a bald, sweaty, muscular guy was going to jail.  But wait!  Paul Walker rescues him!  So that he can travel down to Brazil and be hunted by an even balder, even sweatier, even muscularier guy!  There's only one solution... one of them has to get pregnant!  (checks notes)  I mean, they have to pull off One Last Job to steal all the money of a Brazilian crimelord, who is in no way pregnant!  (checks notes)  Dammit, someone was pregnant in this one, I'm almost certain...

Drawback Productions is great as always in this riff of this bloated bit of bald, sweaty, muscular silliness.  It's one of those movies that I know aren't good, but are still cheesy fun, and the commentary sends it up well, adding to the hilarity already on the screen.  Consistently funny and entertaining, worth watching back to back with their "Furious 7" riff.  (If you think you might need to put the 6th movie in there somewhere, because you might miss out on the many plot twists you have to keep up on in order to enjoy the series... no, you don't.)

[ https://orderoftheleague.com/collections/drawback-productions/products/fast-five ]
[ https://www.rifftrax.com/iriff/drawback-productions-presents-fast-five ]